After the incident with Balthazar earlier Chas hadn't said anything.
He had simply cried until John managed to help him back into the cab and drive them both back here.
Now Chas was sitting with his nose in a book while John slowly drank himself into oblivion.
There was something extremely wrong with Chas.
What did Balthazar have to do with this? Had he hurt Chas?
John was going out of his mind with worry and that was extremely rare for him.
John never worried about anyone but himself.
"C'mon kid. You can't just sit there all night, tell me what's going on." John said softly.
"It's nothing John." Chas mumbled not even looking up from the book.
He was completely ignoring John.
He couldn't face him and he didn't want to.
He had lost it back there with Balthazar and he knew it.
Jesus how stupid was he?
Go out and shove your hand over Balthazar's mouth? God he was out of his mind.
"Chas you don't fool me kid. I saw you today, what's Balthazar done"
"JOHN DROP IT!" Chas finally said looking up from his book.
His eyes silently pleaded with the older man.
He COULDN'T do this. John nodded downing the amber liquid and pouring himself another.
"John"
"Hmm"
"Can I have some?" Chas asked taking a seat across from the exorcist.
John looked up from his glass raising an eyebrow at the boy before smirking.
"You wouldn't like it kid"
"Awww John c'mon I bet I will." Chas whined turning on the puppy dog eyes.
No one could resist the puppy eyes.
John's eyebrow went up another notch before he laughed.
"Trust me kid this is strong shit"
"JOHN! C'mon don't be selfish"
Shaking his head John got up to fetch Chas a glass. If the kid was drunk he might just get an explanation from him.
He slammed the heavy glass in front of Chas pouring him a large shot.
"Knock yourself out." He said placing the bottle between then while downing his own drink.
Chas smiled lifting the glass to his lips.
John's eyes never left Chas's the whole time as very very slowly Chas took a sip his face screwing up slightly as the amber liquid burned his tongue.
"It's good." Chas said nodding taking another sip, this time a little bigger.
"Glad to hear it." John said smirking.
He poured himself another glass.
"But if you want anymore you're gonna have to drink a little faster kid"
Chas lifted the glass to his lips this time he drained the glass shuddering violently.
"Jesus fucking Christ!" He heaved wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve.
"Not bad kid." John smiled filing Chas's glass.
It was a good couple of hours later.
The first bottle was finished and now they were two thirds through their second.
Both men were VERY drink.
Chas slammed his glass down carelessly pouring himself another, most of which ended up on the table.
"S'John why'd you drink tis anyway?" Chas asked slurring his words.
"Because I like it." John replied knocking back his own drink.
"Can I ask you something Chas?" John asked his eyes focusing on the boy with great difficulty.
"Sure."
"What happened today, with Balthazar"
Chas laughed. It wasn't a light hearted laugh, the one John was used to, it was bitter nothing what he was used to.
"It doesn't matter John, the past's the past. I don't wanna talk 'bout it kay?" Chas's replied sighing a little.
"Chas I'm not as stupid as you think. I know there's something wrong, fuck know why but I wanna help." John pressed on filling both their glasses.
Chas finished his first closely followed by John.
He was used to drinking large quantities of alcohol, maybe not whiskey but good shit all the same.
He's never gonna give up. Chas thought sighing a little more.
"John I said drop it." Chas tried to say firmly but at this point he was just WAY too drunk.
"Chas I'm not giving up until you tell me"
"No"
"Chas, tell me"
"No John"
"Chas tell me"
"NO"
"CHAS TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON"
"FINE!" Chas screamed.
He's finally had enough.
"You wanna know what's wrong John? Do you? This is what's wrong!" Chas screamed practically jumping across the table to kiss John.
Their lips met with bone breaking force as Chas grabbed onto everything and anything.
John's hair, his shoulders, his face... anything.
John was taken aback. One second Chas is screaming at him and the next he's kissing him... not that he was complaining or anything.
John finally pulled himself together returning the kiss.
He wrapped his arm around Chas's waist pulling the teenager into his lap.
He knew it was wrong, somewhere deep down in his intoxicated mind he knew this was so very very wrong but it felt too good to stop.
John tipped Chas's head slightly deepening the kiss, their tongues meet, the tang on whiskey strong in both their mouths.
In his mind Chas was screaming. What the FUCK an I doing? But on the outside all he wanted was John. All he wants is to touch every single part of the man he's kissing.
All he wants is to be close to someone without freaking out.
They're standing now.
John's hands roaming freely, one hand resting lightly on Chas's hip, the other playing contentedly with the soft brown curls resting messily on the boy's head.
Chas puled back slightly gasping for breath, his lips filled with blood due to kiss he had just broken.
"John..." He gasped letting his eyes flutter closed as John leans in close placing gentle kisses on his neck.
He's being backed up, John gently nudging him along as he busies himself with the boys neck he is now sucking on.
Then Chas feel's his back hit something hard... The wall.
John's smiling now, slowly undoing the first few buttons of Chas's shirt.
His lips running teasingly over hot flesh.
Chas moans. It feels so good, it feels so incredibly good.
In his mind Chas is having a battle. He doesn't know how to react, he doesn't know what to do.
He's panicking. This had happened not so long ago with Balthazar, he was stuck up against a wall with no where to run to... but this time it was different, this time he WANTED it.
John continued to do wonderful things with his oh so hot mouth, latching onto his collar bone while slowly running a hand further south, he began to undo Chas's fly.
Chas's heart stopped. The sound. That sound. The sound he will never forget for as long as he lives.
John doesn't seem to notice Chas's sudden panic and instead moves his hand inside the boy's boxers finding what he's looking for he begins to stoke.
His mouth is back on Chas's neck, sucking greedily at the pale skin as his hand works slowly.
Chas's eyes are as wide as saucers at this point.
His mind had clouded over as sheer terror overtakes his body laced with a pleasure he has never felt before.
John's hand feels so good... Soon he's moaning and gasping like a whore but that's only on the outside.
Inside Chas is screaming. Inside Chas is scared to death. He needs John to stop. He needs to get away.
"No..." He moans weakly, gasping as teeth gently graze delicate skin.
But John won't stop.
His lips move upward meeting Chas's own. Sucking wantonly on the boys lower lip.
"John... No..." Chas gasps into John's lips trying to push the demon hunter away.
He's too strong and John just ends up going faster, his hand speeding up, pumping hard and fast as his tongue delves into Chas's mouth.
There's nothing Chas can do.
He's trapped.
His eyes grow moist and soon he's sobbing crying out in shame and embarrassment as he comes, hard into Johns hand.
When John moves away he falls to the ground sobbing heavily.
He looks up at John with those big brown eyes, tears shinning.
"Why John? I told you to stop! WHY?" He screamed tears falling silently.
"Chas?" John questions suddenly feeling stone cold sober, the look of confusion clear on his face.
"You wanted to know what was wrong John... You wanted to know and now you do!" Chas sobbed wiping away his tears in fury.
He couldn't believe he'd let this happen.
It was HIS fault. He had started this and now he was paying.
"Chas?" John said again this time a little stronger.
Please god no... Even John wasn't that stupid he KNEW. It all made perfect sense.
"I was raped John. Two years ago, I was raped. I didn't want to tell you. I didn't tell anyone and now you know. Now you know because you just put me through 'that'..." Was all Chas managed to say as he pulled himself shakily to his feet.
He couldn't even look at John, couldn't bring himself to look into those liquid eyes and see a man who had never meant to hurt him, who had only wanted to PLEASE him. There was no way Chas could look into those eyes because he would realise John wasn't his rapist. John wasn't the man who had ruined his life. John was John and that made it a million times worse.
Chas left the apartment felling betrayed and used, not just by John but by the whole world.
John stood alone in the dark apartment feeling totally and utterly terrible he had just made the biggest most stupid mistake of his life.
He had just lost Chas and there was no way he would ever get him back, not ever.