Disclaimer: Tenkuu no Escaflowne is property of Bandai and Sunrise, all rights reserved. I am in no way affiliated with these companies, and am not making a profit by writing this novel. Any similarities between my work and that of any other fan-author is purely coincidental. "I Can't Make You Love Me" song lyrics are property of Bonnie Raitt, all rights reserved.

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"Broken" - Chapter 5: I Can't Make You Love Me

By The Last Princess of Hyrule

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"'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't,
You can't make your heart feel something it won't,
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours,
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power,
But you won't, no you won't,
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't . . ."
-Bonnie Raitt, "I Can't Make You Love Me"

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Van rubbed his temples with a deep, gloomy sigh, trying to hide his irritation from the two people in front of him. This was all Millarna's fault. It was her "great idea" to select him to show Hitomi and Folken around Palas that day after breakfast. She couldn't have chosen Celena, who openly volunteered for the task, just because Allen insisted she had lessons. Gods forbid the knight could grant her one day off.

What was the point of this excursion, anyway? Van asked himself bitterly. He sat on a wooden crate at the edge of the dock, leaning with his elbows against his knees. It's not like Palas has changed that much since they left. Okay, so there was that one attack that they missed, and the city got even more damaged, but why did I have to be the one to explain about it? He groaned.

They stood at the edge of one of the port city's bustling wharfs, watching the activity while Van tried to come to grips with his thoughts. The ruins of Palas rose up before them beyond the hustle and bustle of the docks. What were once tall, majestic houses and shops crowded together on white cobblestone streets had been reduced only to a memory, replaced with crumbling desecration. People in tattered clothing camped out in the shelter of these ruins, struggling to stay out of the quickly-approaching winter chill. If they had anywhere else to go, Van knew they would have walked away from this life already, but Zaibach had destroyed everything they held dear. The only thing they retained since the end of the war was the flittering hope that someday everything would be good again.

Leviships hovered above the water's surface at the docks while crews loaded and unloaded cargo from the holds. Hitomi watched them in awe. Though faster and more economic than regular sea-faring vessels, leviships were an unpopular form of trade commerce. Even though they were unable to carry very heavy loads, for fear of being pulled down right out of the air, some merchants still preferred to ship their more prestigious wares by leviship, and attract attention doing it.

"Wow, look at that!"

Van looked up at where Hitomi was pointing. A massive leviship swooped in from the west, passing only a few yards above their heads as it rounded the wharf and landed with a triumphant splash in the water. The leviship bobbed up and down in the waves it had created like a painted cork, sporting green décor and the Egzardian crest.

Hitomi clapped her hands together with an astonished gasp. "That was amazing!"

Folken, who stood beside her with his arms crossed, was not so easily impressed. "It's only a leviship. You've seen plenty of them before."

"Yeah, but never like that," Hitomi protested, looking up at him. "Geez, spoil my fun, will you?" she huffed.

Hitomi didn't see, but Van noticed the traces of a smile appear on his brother's face, and served to make his foul mood only worsen.

What am I still doing here? I did everything Millerna asked me to do. Van folded his arms as well, not realizing how much he looked like Folken when he did this. I can't believe she buys that act. How can she really think he won't betray her when a better opportunity comes along? The fact was solid in Van's mind. Folken's loyalty only held with the best cause. Just like he betrayed Fanelia to Zaibach, the former Strategos would eventually betray Hitomi for someone better(though Van couldn't think of anyone better than Hitomi.)

"Hey, Van!" Hitomi turned around. Van hurriedly uncrossed his arms. "Are you feeling any better? Do you want to go on?"

Van scowled. They'd stopped to admire the wharf because Van insisted on a rest. He hadn't wanted to stophe didn't want to appear weak to Hitomibut his left leg hurt so much after all the walking that morning that he simply couldn't take another step.

"I'm fine," he snapped. He stood up quickly, just to prove he could, but unfortunately, he couldn't. A sharp twinge of pain shot through his left leg, and he stumbled forward a few steps before he could regain his balance.

Hitomi's face filled with concern. "Oh my god, are you all right?"

Folken turned around as he heard these words, also looking a little worried, but didn't say anything. Van was grateful. He didn't need his no-good brother adding insult to injury when Van's pride had already been hurt enough.

"I'm fine," Van insisted firmly.

Hitomi didn't look like she believed him. "I saw you limping a little earlier. Are you sure there's nothing wrong?"

Van's scowl deepened. "I pulled a muscle the other daydoes it matter?" He let out a frustrated sigh. "Look, I have things to do. Palas hasn't changed enough to keep you from getting back there without my help." With that he stormed away, trying vainly to keep his strides even.

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Hitomi watched him go with a flustered expression. "Geez, is he ever in a rotten mood. I was just worried about himis that so wrong?" She sighed. "You'd think the war would have gotten all the fighting out of his system, but he's just as bad as ever."

"You really thought a lot of fighting would improve his disposition?" asked Folken. "That's doesn't seem like Van. He's passionate about winning every battle."

This made Hitomi laugh. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

She looked out past him toward the city at one of the canals that ran among the buildings, like a highway made of water. Several gondolas drifted along it, weaving people or items among the maze of waterways snaking through the large city. Hitomi sighed wistfully. Palas was the Gaean equivalent of Venice, Italy, one of the most romantic cities on Earth. Ever since seeing pictures of it in a world studies class in middle school, she'd longed to visit one day, and ride in a gondola through the splendor.

"Have you ever ridden in one of those?" Hitomi asked, pointed to the gondolas.

Folken looked. "A few times." He didn't sound nearly as interested in them as Hitomi hoped. She was beaming, watching the gondolas in fascination.

"I think it'd be amazing," she said, unable to take her eyes off them. "They can travel so fast through the water. Kind of like flying, you know?" She sighed. "I'd love to ride around Palas in one. You'd be able to see so much."

"You're too easily amused, Hitomi."

Hitomi stuck out her tongue at him, a juvenile gesture, she admitted, but it seemed somehow appropriate. "Well, you're just not amused enough."

Folken raised an eyebrow and looked at her curiously. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, give me a break. It didn't come out right," Hitomi huffed. "You know what I mean, don't you?"

Folken shook his head and looked at the sky, but Hitomi could tell he was entertained. "Let's move on, shall we?"

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Van leaned back against his door and let out a long, tired sigh. Damn Millerna for making me do that. Damn her. She just has to make everything hard for me, doesn't she?

He looked around the empty room, grateful for the solitude and seclusion from the rest of the world. Merle was out somewhere for the moment, the big goose-down pillow in the corner by the fire abandoned. Van straightened, wincing a little at a twinge in his leg. He scowled. He just wasn't a foot-soldiereveryone knew that. That was why someone a long time ago had created guymelefs, so that soldiers had more time to plan and execute moves. Fighting on the ground, your reflexes had to be lightening quick, or else enemies stuck you down before you had the chance to strike them. It was the golden rule of war.

Van walked toward his window and leaned against the sill. For some reason, the sight of the city made Hitomi's face flash into his mind. He leaned his forehead against the glass windowpanes. Millerna hadn't told him about Hitomi and Folken, and then the morning after he found out, she expected him to be able to deal with it. She's just doing this to torture me for some reason. I probably pissed her off sometime, and now she's getting back at me.

So, what now? Was he simply supposed to live in denial of his feelings for Hitomi for the rest of his life? Was he supposed to tell her? Did he even have the right to tell her, and ruin her evident happiness?

Van glowered at the city outside. Even though Palas was a mess, it was still full of activity. In these last days of cool autumn weather, people were hurrying to prepare for a cold winter. It was a fruitless effort. The buildings around the palace were in such a state of disrepair that it would be impossible to make them stand against the cold with only the tattered rubbish left behind from the attack. Many of the people he could see now would probably die before the seasons turned to spring, cruel as the thought was.

There was a knock at the door, thankfully startling the young king out of his spiteful reverie. His heart sunk as he turned around to see Millerna open it to let herself inside. Great, just the person I really need right now.

"Oh, you're back, I see," she said. She held the doorknob in her hands behind her back, leaning against it slightly. Then, realizing for the first time that she'd come inside uninvited, she blushed. "I'm sorry, I should have waited outside."

Van sighed and shook his head. Even if he was mad at her, he was a guest in her home, and he had to be nice to her if he didn't want to be thrown out. "No, that's okay."

Millerna looked slightly relieved, but her visage turned toward concern as she noticed his dour expression. "Would you like me to leave you alone?"

"I don't care." Van turned back to the window noncommittally, forcing Millerna to make the choice based on what she wanted to do, not what she thought Van wanted her to do.

Millerna chose to stay. "I wanted to apologize for making you show Hitomi and Folken around today. I should have known . . ." She hesitated, then said, "I guess I forgot about your leg."

Van shrugged. "It's only a sprain. It doesn't really hurt that bad anymore. It'll probably be fine in a week or so."

"That's good." Millerna paused for a second. Van could see out of the corner of his eye that she was staring at him, obviously searching for any signs of what he was thinking. Van tried to keep his expression blank, but he knew he was no good at it. Jealousy and despair were written all over his face, and Millerna knew could easily guess the reason.

He decided not to bother lying to her and denying it when she asked what was wrong. She probably already suspected that it was Hitomi. Everyone had figured out that Van loved her before he himself finally realized it. Well, everyone except Hitomi. Or did she know, and simply not care? Van tried not to think about that.

Instead, he decided to ask Millerna something that had been bothering him since the night before. "Did you know?"

Millerna looked confused. "Know what?"

"About Hitomi and Folken," he explained. "You didn't seem all that surprised last night."

"I got a letter from Hitomi a couple months ago. She explained all about it, and about what happened and why she left." Millerna looked away from him, her face flushing with guilt. "I guess I just . . . forgot to show it to you."

Van crossed his arms on the windowsill and shifted his weight from one leg to the other. "You don't have to lie to me. I know why you didn't."

Millerna's face turned a little more red. "I'm sorry, Van. I know how you feel about her. Sometimes, these things just happen, and"

"You don't have to apologize for anything, either," Van interrupted. "It's not like there was anything you or I could do about it. Hitomi fell in love with who she wanted to fall in love with. I just need to come to grips with that and move on."

A look of astonishment took the place of Millerna's shame. Van knew these words probably sounded very strange coming from him, but they were the truth. While Hitomi was gone, he'd had a lot of time to think about what she meant to him. He'd been trying to forget the feelings he had for her, since he figured she'd gone back to the Mystic Moon after she killed Dornkirk. Somehow, never seeing her again was far easier to accept than suddenly finding out late one night that she was still on Gaea after all, and had fallen in love with someone else.

"That's a very mature way to look at it," Millerna said, startling Van. Just like she'd never thought him to be calm and rational about anything, he never thought her to be astute. "Say," she began on an afterthought. "I'm going to go for a walk in the gardens. Why don't you come with me?"

Van looked over at her, but didn't answer.

Millerna offered him a smile. "Come on, it'll take your mind off of things for a while."

He hesitated. His leg was still sore from walking all morning, and he wanted nothing more than to be alone for a little while to think. Besides, he didn't want to go anywhere he might run into Hitomi. Unless . . .

No, it was a crazy idea. Impossible. Van scowled at himself for even thinking it. There was no way Hitomi could possibly be in love with him. She was already in love with Folken . . . and yet, there had been times before she left Palas, times when she was with Van where he could swear she was thinking of him as more than a friend. She fell out of love with Allen, and moved on so quickly. Could she be trying show him she loved him, but didn't know how to say it?

Van tried to push the stupid hypothesis out of his mind, but for some reason, he couldn't let it go. It was completely irrational, and probably far from the truth, but it gave him at least a glimmer of hope. Right now, that was exactly what he needed to keep going. With this in mind, he agreed to go with Millerna. As he followed her out, he stopped doubting his crazy idea, thinking there was a chance Hitomi still felt something for him.

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TO BE CONTINUED . . .

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