Redemption

Chapter 21

She could sense her before she saw her. The slight traces of perfume and the click of her heels on the polished tiled floor gave her away. "You're late…again," Kathryn looked up and over her shoulder smiling at Sydney.

"I know, I'm sorry," she sat in the chair next to Kathryn. "My meeting ran late and-"

"Syd, it's okay, I was just kidding really," she grinned closing the book she'd been reading and went to slip it in her knapsack.

"What's this?" Sydney asked snatching it out of her hands. "Child Psychology? Kat couldn't you find anything more interesting to read than my old textbooks?"

"It is interesting," she said taking it back.

"You should be reading something fun-"

"Like what—Harry Potter?" she stood slipping her knapsack over her shoulder.

"Sure like Harry Potter. You know Will gave me the set for Christmas last year, they're in the den-"

"Finished them last week," she laughed.

"You're horrible," Sydney put an arm around her shoulders. "You're in a good mood Katy, how did your session with Barnette go?" she asked. After Kathryn's sessions with Dr. Barnette she was usually quiet, reserved, depressed although she hid it well it was always there. But today she was different. Just a few minutes ago, she smiled. To Sydney, it was the first genuinely true happy smile to pass her lips.

Kathryn stopped in the middle of the hall staring at the floor, her bag sliding off her shoulder. "It was good," she slowly smiled looking up at her sister and Sydney could see that she was actually telling the truth for once. She was happy. "It was really really good," she nodded and then switched the subject. "You know after my session with Barnette I saw her with Kendall in the hall and I think he's got the hots for her. I think she likes him too."

"What?"

"I'm serious, he's totally hot for her in some sick Kendall sort of way. I—" she started walking again.

"Kat wait come here," Sydney took her hand leading her to some chairs outside one of the offices.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" she asked concerned and sat down in one of the chairs.

"No, nothings wrong sweetie, I just-you know you can tell me anything right. I'll always listen, I'll always be here—"

"Syd, we've been over this, I can't tell you," Kathryn interrupted sighing heavily. "It's not that I don't want to tell you, its not a choice, I just can't. It's hard enough to talk to Barnette about it and having to tell Kendall and Lindsey and knowing that Eric knows too and your dad….." She wiped a tear from her cheek. "God I'm such a mess, a screwed up mess," she laughed bitterly.

"Kat you're not," Sydney hugged her and wiped her cheeks. "You're beautiful and you're strong, caring and smart and you are the bravest person I have ever met. I just want you to know that when and if you're ready, I will be here, to listen to support you, whatever you need I just want to help."

"Thank you," she hugged Sydney. "I appreciate that. Despite the fact that people have tried to either kill me or kidnap me since I met you—well what I mean is when I was growing up, every new Foster Home than I went to I used to pray that they'd keep me. I'd finally get the family that I wanted so badly but they never did. I never got that family until I met you and I don't want anything to change that. I used to just pretend that it all never happened but now I dealing with it and I feel better and that's because of you."

"Don't make me cry," Sydney laughed hugging her tightly. "I would do anything to take it all away, to change everything-" she tucked Kathryn's hair behind her ears.

"You already have," Kathryn smiled and wiped her eyes and then Sydney's cheeks.

"Hey, you want to go and crash Vaughn and Weiss' hockey practice? We can teach them a thing or two."

"I don't know."

"Come on Kat it'll be fun. I promise."

"I can't skate."

"Is that all that's stopping you?"

~ ~ ~

"Sydney, I don't know about this," Kathryn wobbly stood.

"You'll have a blast I promise," Sydney took her hand walking her towards the rink door.

"But what if I fall?"

"I won't let you fall."

"But what if I do?"

"Then you'll get right back up and try again. You've really never been skating before?"

"Well once when I was three or four mom took me but I think she spent most of the time pushing me around in a chair."

"I remember when she did that to me too," Sydney smiled. "You'll be fine." She backed out onto the ice guiding Kathryn. "Just push off with your feet like this," she skated around in a circle demonstrating.

"Aaahhhh," Kathryn lost her balance and Weiss grabbed her before she hit the ground. He took her hands pulling her away, "come on Kat, I'll show you."

Vaughn skated up to Sydney wrapping his arms around her waist. He kissed her cheek. "If I remember correctly you didn't want to come to the rink today because you were tired."

"I know," she turned to face him. "But Katy had a good session with Barnette and Vaughn she smiled at me. I mean a real smile, not one of those fake ones she's always passing off, this one was real."

"That's great Syd, maybe now she'll start to open up a bit more."

"I hope so…" she said wistfully wanting nothing more than to become her sisters confident despite how painful it could be to hear the things she had to say.

"Vaughn, Syd, look out!" Weiss shouted and they turned seeing Kathryn flying towards them at full speed.

"How do you stop!!!!!!" Kathryn shouted and narrowly missed Vaughn as she skated into the boards.

"Are you okay Kat?" Vaughn skated over to her and helped her up.

"You let go of me on purpose!"

"What? I didn't I swear," Eric turned hard and stopped a few feet away from her.

"You did so."

"Come on Eric you're a bad liar," Vaughn laughed and took Kathryn's hands. "I'll teach you how to stop," he said and skated backwards pulling her to the center of the ice.

"Syd it was an accident, I thought she was ready I swear," Eric took off his helmet and set it on the bench.

"Sure Weiss," she laughed but stopped suddenly seeing a figure in the stands. Kathryn called her name and she waved to her but when she looked back, the figure was gone.

"Eric, I'll be right back, I'm just going to the bathroom." She skated over to the door and slipped on her skate guards. She hobbled up the stairs out into the hallway looking both ways the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood on end but she saw no one.

"Hello Sydney," the voice was cool and controlled completely the opposite of what Sydney was currently feeling.

Sydney whirled around forgetting she had skates on and nearly fell over. The other person grabbed her shoulders steadying her. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to speak with you, about Katy-"

"You have no right to call her that—"

"I'm her mother."

"You abandoned her."

"I had to. There were circumstances-"

"Screw the circumstances. You could have told me about her as soon as I found out you were alive. I would have taken care of her—"

"And let the CIA get their hands on her? That was out of the question."

"It would have been far better than the hell she's lived through for the past twelve years."

A look of confusion passed Irina's face, "how is she?"

"How is she?" Sydney felt like screaming but she controlled herself, her voice was cold and flat. "How do you think she is mom? She's hurt, confused, bitter, scared, broken and scarred, damaged but she's brave and she's strong. For almost four weeks she barely slept and when she did she'd wake up sick and screaming, she couldn't breath her nightmares were so bad. She could only fall asleep when someone was sitting beside her bed." Sydney's voice trembled with frustration and Irina remained quiet. "How can you just stand here and pretend like you did nothing wrong? Did you even bother to check on her once in a while or did you just forget she ever existed."

"I couldn't see her. I was afraid they would find her, but I had someone track her. I was assured she was well taken care of—"

"Well taken care of?" Sydney scoffed.

"What are you implying?"

Sydney stared at her in silence. Her mother's poker face showed no emotion. She was cold, unfeeling, but after all she was Irina Derevko, nothing she said could ever be taken at face value. "Since you left her, Katy has been through hell. She spent six weeks in the hospital recovering from being shot. The doctors had to remove her spleen, she nearly died." Sydney's eyes filled with tears and she rapidly blinked them away. "She barely recovered from seeing her mother "Die" when her Foster Father decided to use her for sex. She was six years old; she was just a baby she couldn't fight back. She used to hide in her closet hoping he wouldn't find her but he always did. She left that home after almost a year. You think it would have stopped right? Well it didn't."

"You're saying that she was raped," Irina chose her words carefully.

"I wish that was all I was saying," Sydney laughed bitterly. Irina turned away unable to face her daughter as she continued. "Yes she was raped. But she was beaten, abused, mistreated, and a lot more that I don't even know about because she's too afraid to tell me. She's afraid that I'll look at her differently, treat her differently. The only reason it stopped was because she got pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Irina turned around again to face Sydney, her arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes were dark flashing with anger and she stood rigid.

"Yes mom. Katy was too scared to tell anyone what happened, she was afraid things would get worse, afraid that they would blame her even though it wasn't her fault and she knew it wasn't her fault. That's what kept her sane the whole time, she knew it wasn't her fault. The only reason it stopped was because she got pregnant when she was twelve and had her baby when she was thirteen. She was just a baby herself."

"What happened to the baby?"

"That's the thing, there was someone who knew about Katy. Sloane knew about her. He's known about her since just after her mother "Died". He kept her a secret; he didn't even know what was going on with her because she kept it so well hidden. She was afraid he wouldn't keep seeing her if he knew the truth. He started training her when she was eight. Buying her things, books, videos, enrolling her in classes, everything he could so that when the time was right, he was going to recruit her to work for SD-6. She never had the chance to live a normal life. Thankfully we took down SD-6 before he could recruit her. Sloane found out she was pregnant when she was in her seventh month. She hid it so well from everyone, her teachers, her foster parents, social worker, everyone. But she didn't know what to do, afraid of what people would think or say and the guy that raped her, her Foster brother said that he would kill her if she told anyone and so she tried to slit her wrists but she couldn't go through with it. Sloane saw the scars and he found out everything. After the baby, she learned how to fight back and it never happened again. Kathryn's baby…… he--he died," she lied. Only four people knew exactly where Kathryn's son was.

"That son of a bitch," Irina swore.

"You really didn't know did you," Sydney said slowly coming to the realization that her mother was indeed shocked to hear any of this.

"Of course not," she said furiously. "Do you really think I would have allowed it to continue? Yes I checked up on her, I saw her from a distance every once in a while. I had someone watching her but- Khasinau, he must have gotten to my informant."

"He's her father why would he do that?"

"Her father-how did you-?"

"She had regression therapy she knows everything. What is it that you're not saying?"

Irina was silent for several moments. "You know she lived in Russia for about a year?"

"Yes when she was four. You took her there after Khasinau killed his brother, the man she thought was her father-"

"Correct. Without my knowledge, Alexander tested her using a design similar to Project Christmas but it was much more advanced, she was much more advanced than anyone ever dreamed of. She had a natural skill and when I found out what had happened I took her, and I ran. I brought her to New York under the name of Kathryn Sullivan. Alexander found us and that night at the store—it was an accident really. They just started shooting and I tried to stay with her but he pulled me away," Irina's voice never faltered as she calmly relayed the details to Sydney. "Alexander told his superiors, both K-Directorate

and KGB that Katarina Derevko had died. I played the grieving mother, because it saved her life; she was far too valuable for them to loose. It was an embarrassment for them to loose her. I assure you Sydney that I knew nothing of it until after it was already done. They wanted her--to continue to test project Christmas and to train her, but there were other reasons that I was not privy too, I still do not know what those reasons were. I knew how smart she was, I knew her potential, what she was capable of doing of becoming but so did they and it was the last thing that I wanted for her. They would have trained her and had her working by the time she was fifteen or sixteen if not sooner. A child agent has its advantages. I couldn't allow that to happen and I couldn't tell you about her for fear they would find out she was alive and take her. I was trying to protect her from this life. I had to make a decision that I did not want to make. If Alexander wasn't already dead, I'd kill him again for doing this to her."

Sydney turned away from her piercing gaze trying to process everything she'd been told. So it wasn't just the Covenant who was after her sister. Kathryn was in far deeper than any of them had imagined. The pure anger and hatred in her mother's eyes made Sydney believe her, her mother was telling the truth and it pained her to do so. "Do you know what The Contessa is?" she asked softly.

"No," Irina shook her head. "I've tried to gain information but no one seems to know anything. I suspect that whomever it is who wants her isn't telling anyone why. I'm beginning to wonder if it even exists."

"It exists," Sydney nodded. "She remembers Khasinau showing her something and calling it The Contessa but she doesn't know what it was."

"Do you think it has anything to do with the Rambaldi Prophecy?" Sydney asked.

"No," the tone in her voice was sincere. "If they know about Kathryn than they know that she is not the woman in the prophecy. She most likely shares all the same characteristics except for one; she's left handed."

"What if Rambaldi was wrong?"

"I don't think so. Sydney I don't know what happened to Kathryn in Russia, I wasn't there. I wouldn't have allowed it and they knew that so they kept me away," her tone changed and her eyes softened. "Despite what you or your father might think, I love my daughter. Kathryn was what kept me going after I had to leave you. I loved her, I still love her more than anything—I love you both more than anything."

Sydney felt tears pricking her eyes but she forced them away allowing her mother to continue.

"You were twelve when she was born and I missed you so much. She was…my second chance, my redemption but I failed her, and I failed you. Sometimes life forces you to make decisions, to make choices that you do not want to have to make but you do out of necessity. I had to make that choice when I left you and when I had to leave Kathryn I have never regretted that decision until now. She was alive and I thought she was happy but I was wrong. I trusted a man that I shouldn't have and I am going to have to live with that for the rest of my life. I would do anything to repair the damage that I did but I can't."

"She is getting better," Sydney said softly hoping to offer her mother even a glimmer of hope. She looked as if she had aged ten years in only the past five minutes. "She doesn't have nightmares every night any more and she's opening up a bit but she's still hurting."

"Good, I hope that things become easier for her soon. Sydney, it is imperative that you don't tell her or anyone not even your father about her involvement with Project Christmas." Irina was dead serious. "If word gets out that Katarina Derevko is alive, you know they won't stop until they get what they are after. You know that better than anyone."

"I understand."

"Keep her safe Sydney, she needs you more than she knows."

"I will."

"Syd?" a distinctively male voice called to her.

"Coming," she shouted out. "I'll be right back," she whispered to her mother and then hurried down the hallway where she bumped into Weiss.

"Hey Syd, Kat's looking for you, she wants to play hockey—who were you talking to?"

"Oh just a friend from school," she looked over her shoulder but her mother was gone. She followed him back into the arena.

"Your dad just called. I answered your phone, he just said to tell you that he was fine but he wouldn't be in to work until tomorrow afternoon, something about strawberry contamination, what ever that means," he shrugged.

"Oh right, he's allergic, thanks Weiss," she said distractedly. She removed her skate guards and stepped back out onto the ice.

"Syd are you alright?" he asked skating up behind her. "You seem worried, is it your dad?"

"No, I'm fine really," she flashed him a smile. "How's Kat doing?"

"Great she's a natural, only fallen twice. I showed her how to shoot and now she wants to play."

Sydney stood back watching Kathryn take a few practice shots with Vaughn in the net, his hockey stick clearly much too large for her but she almost got the puck in. "Good shot," Sydney called out to her plastering a false smile on her face. It was all she could do to keep from screaming. Her sister was in far more danger than anyone had realized.

~ ~ ~

Jack slowly walked up the stairs to his apartment, his stomach heaving with each step. Two hours spent at the hospital and three needles later he was finally free and silently cursing himself for not having read the ingredients on the box.

There was a package wrapped in brown paper resting on the mat in front of his door and he looked around carefully before picking it up and entering his apartment. He recognized the handwriting. He got a pair of gloves from the kitchen drawer and a sharp knife and slit the tape open slowly unwrapping the object.

It was a book. A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnette. It was a first edition he noted carefully opening it. He stopped on the inside cover a short message. He recognized Irina's handwriting once again, her delicate scroll decorating the left page.

She has your spirit

He could sense that it was something important, what could four words mean. He got his answer immediately. Holding the marker on Chapter 12 was a folded up piece of paper. Slowly he opened it; the creases well defined from repeatedly being folded and unfolded; his breath caught in his throat as he struggled to control it. His question was answered by three simple words He sat down on the counter stool and looked away unable to believe, not wanting to believe but suprisingly satisfied and content at finally knowing the truth.

He looked back at the document. The document that was going to change three lives forever but would it be for the good? It was questionable but the pieces of a broken puzzle were finally beginning to fit together.

She has your spirit

It was almost a question and three words were its answer.

Katarina Madrid Bristow

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N So what did you guys think just hit that little purple button and review PLEASE!!!
Now I left a few clues in recent chapters that Jack was Kats father so Kudos go to anyone who can name them.

I have no idea how to write the part when Jack tells Kathryn that he's her father, so if anyone has any ideas let me know.