Totally Screwed Transmutation

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. Duh.

Yes, I deleted the earlier chapter for this AWAY. I know I could have replaced it, but then… I dunno what made me delete… not that I didn't like it, but I just came up with something better later on, realised that the starting was a bit off if I wanted the new part, so I had to rewrite! So, ya. And no worries, it has the same title as before.

By the way… SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED FOR SO LONG! I mean, I've really been very busy: 10 projects thrown at us to be completed within each week… (ok, may be not so many, but there were at least 6) so I really had no time to be thinking about the story, let alone typing it out. So, as a compensation, here's a really, REALLY long chappie. And I'll not deprive you of it any further. ENJOY---

Chapter 5 The Prankstress

Visions of a young blonde in skirt flow past his eyes; funny how she seemed familiar, and yet not at the same time…

Wait… Isn't that FullMetal?… What the…

Roy stuffed his fingers into his ears as his piercing alarm went off. That was futile however, and he un-plugged his ears to shut the alarm up.

He sat up… and wondered about the dream.

Ed? A girl…? In a SKIRT!

Then it hit him in a rush: the book, the transmutations, the screaming. And the girl. He gave a big, long yawn, recalling as well the similar yawn (which he defined cute) from the younger alchemist the night before. He smiled.

Glancing towards the now silent clock, he got off his bed and proceeded to do the necessary. Time read 8.30 am, and although it seemed too damn bright for some reason, he calmly walked into the bathroom. There was to be an important meeting later at 10 – so he still had the time. The funny thing? Edward was no where to be seen…

---

Time: 9.40 am. He was cruising down the street in his Mustang and turned as the entrance to the military car park came into view. He was surprised at the number of unfamiliar cars in the lots: had his colleagues from other districts arrived early for the meeting?

He walked towards the receptionist, who gave him a strange look and glanced at her wristwatch. Roy simply passed her his clock-in card, only to have her shrugging her shoulders, punch the card and handing it back to him.

Looking at the card as he walked off, he noticed the time stated was 10.47 am. He frowned, but still believed in his own pocket watch. The machine must have had an error; so did the receptionist.

He walked straight into the meeting room, thinking that there would only be a few people in the room so that he could hold a casual conversation with before everyone gets there and the meeting starts. How wrong he was. The table was fully occupied (except for his seat of course) and its members were in deep discussion. All traces of speech dissolved, however, when Roy strode in and froze at the sight.

"Are… Aren't you all supposed to start by 10?" Roy broke the silence.

"Very right you are."

Edward was sitting at the table too (she's the Colonel now, remember?), and turned to smirk at him.

"And you, as a Fuhrer, are LATE."

Roy was shocked. Him, late? NO WAY. He pulled out his pocket watch and glanced into the silverware.

"Strange… mine still reads 9.59, and, ah, now it's 10; the hands are still moving. So now it starts, isn't it?"

Edward gave a hollow laugh, then smirked at him again, and pulled her own pocket watch. The rest of the table followed suit (well, those who have did, those who didn't flicked their wrists…)

"Then your pocket watch is screwed then; you see, all of ours," she gestured across the table, "are reading 11am."

Roy looked at the watches glinting in the light. True enough, time was reading 11.01 now… Then how…?

It hit him again like in the morning. The culprit was now sitting there, smirking at him for all she's worth. He frowned and glared at the young alchemist, who, if possible, smirked all the wider. He took his seat at the head of the table, and settled down.

"Never mind that then," he said to the looks of furrowed eyebrows and one smirking Colonel, "let's start from the beginning again…"

---

After the meeting, all his head subordinates were gathered in his office. That, of course, included Ed. By now, Ed had stopped smirking – it was her jaw that did the protesting, and so she settled for a lofty expression instead. Roy had once again walked into the office full of surly looking people – they were told to be there at 1pm… and it was now 2pm plus… They complained of course. They always did. They all knew Roy more than just a Fuhrer… more like a dear friend.

And thattended to get to their heads.

"Argh, ROY! The meeting couldn't have dragged by one hour!"

"That's right! Look at the time! We haven't had lunch yet, you know…"

"Yar, and I'm starving. You gotta give us a treat, sir. We all came like an hour ago to report to you and all…"

It simply went on… until Edward cleared her throat and said something that sent the room into silence.

"Er-hem… the Fuhrer, I believe, had time problems and issues this morning…"

After a moment of quiet, the whole room started blabbing again. This time, though, before it managed to reach fish-market standards, Roy stopped them.

"ALL RIGHT! I admit, my watches are all screwed this morning—″ here, he threw a frown in Ed's direction, "—and yes, I'll treat you all to lunch. Now, I guess. But make sure you report everything to me after that in my office. Ok, let's go."

As he let the others file out of his room, he grabbed the blonde alchemist by the shoulder and held her back. He muttered softly into her ear, "And I'll see you personally after the reports are done…"

He couldn't help give a smirk of his own when he noticed the glum look on the little Colonel's face…

---

They managed to find an unoccupied table with the appropriate number of seats and settled down in the canteen. Looking at other military personnel sipping their own cups of coffee, he decided it was high time for his much awaited first dose of caffeine (he forgot his usual first cup this morning) and told Edward (more like, ordered) to get the drinks for the table. Edward sulked off… she really hated errands.

When food was settled, Edward still hadn't returned with the drinks. When she did, however, all she carried on the tray (stacked, piled, whatever have you) were cups and cups of…

TEA.

Roy, being that kind of I-love-coffee-hate-tea person, did not notice it (he was tackling his food already) and set down his fork and spoon to drink what he thought was coffee.

It was tea which flew (spewed) in all directions, just a second later, and it was all over his food, his companions beside and in front of him, and their food. He set the cup down and turned to face Edward, who was happily eating away a few seats away from the Fuhrer.

"I thought I told you I wanted coffee?"

Edward gave a shrug, while still eating, and said with her mouth half full, "I asked for it, but the vendor said they ran out of it earlier… (which has happened before) and stayed there longer to make sure of it and to get the tea… I simply didn't know you hated tea ((LIE!)) that's all…" Everyone looked at each other for a few moments, then went back to their eating anyways (those who had Roy's tea all over theirs got them changed…Roy too got up with a grunt and went to change his food).

Just before they left for his office again, some of the group noticed Ed back at the drinks stall having a quick chat with the vendor, and then…

Cash changed hands.

They grinned, and passed the info around. Apparently Roy was in for a rough time…

Except that he doesn't know it.

Ah well, hope that was long enough. I actually had it written all out on paper in school (having no personal laptop of my own really sucks) and had to HAND TYPE everything into Word document…eesh. Everyone please pray that I get a laptop soon… Then I'll be able to update faster.

Forgot to mention… I HAD to break off at this point. Really. I'm too tired and besides, I want this story to have as many chapters as I can. So stay in-tuned ok? Read and review!