Disclaimer: Tenkuu no Escaflowne is property of Bandai and Sunrise, all rights reserved. I am in no way affiliated with these companies, and am not making a profit by writing this novel. Any similarities between my work and that of any other fan-author is purely coincidental. "Escape" song lyrics are property of Hoobastank, all rights reserved.
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"Broken" - Chapter 12: Escape
By The Last Princess of Hyrule
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"There has to be someplace,
That nobody knows,
Somewhere we can only go,
There has to be someplace,
That we can be all alone,
We have to escape,
And I will go anywhere,
If you just lead the way,
Escape to a place where we'll be together,
Together everyday,
We have to escape . . ."
-Hoobastank, "Escape"
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Hitomi sat on the beach on the outskirts of town, watching the tide roll in on a chill wind, pulling her jacket a little tighter against her body. The sun was setting, bleeding deep reds and oranges into the sky and salty water. She exhaled, watching her breath hang in the still, quiet air. All the chaos and troubles of the day, with the bustling commotion of Palas, drifted away as she sat in the sand looking out on the endless expanse of glassy ocean. Yet, every time she tried to send her troubles across the sea, the waves rolled them right back.
"Hello, Hitomi."
Hitomi jumped, and looked up to see Folken standing over her. She touched a hand to her chest. Where he'd come from, she had no idea; even after all their time together, he still managed to sneak up and surprise her. "You startled me. I didn't hear you walk up."
He sat down beside her in the sand. "What are you doing out here? I thought you were still helping Millerna."
Hitomi shrugged. "She didn't need me today."
"Really?"
It was hard to tell by the tone of his voice whether he believed her or not. "Yeah."
"Have you been out here all afternoon?"
"Yeah."
Folken waited, but Hitomi didn't add anything to this thought. His expression darkened. "I've never seen you this quiet. Is something wrong?"
"No." She leaned over, resting against his shoulder. "I just don't have anything to talk about."
"All right."
They sat in silence for several minutes, listening to the gentle crashing of the waves and breathing just out of time with each other. Another gust of cold wind blew over Hitomi, and she scooted a little closer to Folken. Maybe he thought she was simply cold, or he could tell she needed comfort after a bad day, but he put an arm around her waist anyway. At his touch, the cold blood stirred in her veins, but she didn't feel much better.
The sun drifted a little closer to the horizon, and at the highest point above them in the sky, the dark blue of night washed away all the evening's vibrant colors. The sight made Hitomi feel even worse.
"I wish Gaea had a pause function," she suddenly blurted out in all seriousness. "Just to keep this moment from ever ending. On Earth, people can pause and rewind their favorite parts of movies to watch them over and over again." She had explained the concept of movies and television once before. "I wish we could just sit here and enjoy the sunset like this every night without having to deal with Asturia and all its problems."
Folken opened his mouth to say something, then closed it on second thought. Without even intending to, Hitomi kept going. "They really didn't need me here in the first place. I don't know what I thought I could do by coming back. I'm not any more use than anyone else." A worried crease appeared on her forehead as she pondered this statement. "Actually, I don't think I'm any help. All I've really done since I got here is stir up some rebels who think I'm a goddess, and make a big mess for Millerna to clean up."
Hitomi closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to smile, but couldn't manage more than a grimace. "I can't even imagine how miserable this must be for you," she went on without giving Folken a chance to disagree. "I should have known how everyone would react when I returned with a man they thought betrayed them. Millerna tries to act natural, but she always gets nervous every time she sees us together. Van won't talk to you at all, and he always seems to be avoiding me. And Allen . . ." Hitomi let out a long sigh as she said his name and rolled her head back. "He doesn't even make an effort to hide how much he disapproves.
"No matter how hard I try, I can't shake the feeling that we shouldn't have come back. I didn't even think about what it might be like for you to be here. All I've been thinking about was what I want to do, and I never consider you. Our life was perfect before coming back to Asturia, but I just couldn't be happy with that. I wanted more." Hitomi gave a bitter, half-hearted laugh. "You must be thinking 'I told you so' by now."
Folken made a show of looking offended, though Hitomi knew it was only for her benefit. "I don't think I would say something quite so juvenile," he started, "and I don't even agree with the idea. Van, Princess Millerna, and the others don't trust me because they have good reason. It's my word against Asturia's that I didn't betray them, and even you can't change what they think and how they feel. So let them think what they want. It doesn't change anything."
"What do you mean?" asked Hitomi. "It changes everything."
"Oh? Name something."
Hitomi didn't even have to think about it. "If they think you're a traitor, then they don't even try to see your good points."
Folken laughed. "And what does that matter? Does that change how you think of me?"
"Well, no."
"Then let them have their opinions. If someday you manage to convince them to think differently, or they figure it out for themselves, then it will be a good day," said Folken. "But don't fret waiting for such a day that might be long in coming. I assure you, whatever they say and do doesn't bother me enough to make me want to abandon you here." He leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek.
Hitomi pushed him back and looked up at him. "You mean you haven't had enough?"
"Of you?" He gave her a curious look. "I don't think that will ever happen."
Hitomi was serious. "No, of Asturia."
"I could never tire of where you are."
Hitomi could see he was trying his best to cheer her up. She felt a little frustrated with herself for beating down everything he said. Here he was, in a place he so obviously disliked, filled with people who seemed to dislike him in return, and not once had he offered a single complaint. Why couldn't she learn from that example?
The waves lapped at her feet, the tide pushing them inward. The ocean followed the same pattern day in and day out; low tide, high tide; so consistent that someone could set a clock by it. Hitomi wished her own emotions could be so stable. If she wasn't crying one day, she was sobbing the next. Of course, people had emotional ups and downs, but like Folken, everyone seemed to be able to hide them.
Privy to none of these thoughts, Folken sighed. "The tide is coming in," he pointed out.
"I know," said Hitomi, her gaze locked on the rolling waves.
"We're going to get wet."
"I know."
Folken looked down at her with a frown. "Well, I think you're cold enough as it is." Suddenly, he grabbed her around the waist and leapt to his feet.
Hitomi gasped and clutched her arms around his neck. "Hey, put me down!"
"I can't," Folken protested. "The tide is coming in." He spun her around. "I can't let you get cold."
She hugged her arms around his neck. Not in these arms, she thought. I'll never be cold. She tightened her grip and nestled her head against him, listening to the rise and fall of his breath and the pounding of his heart. Unlike hers, his pulse was rapid, and it contradicted the contented expression on his face. "Let me go," she whispered half-heartedly.
"No."
Hitomi looked out over the ocean. The tide rolled relentlessly toward the shore, the crashing surf washing over their footprints as if it were trying to wash away their problems with it. If only the white foam was as much an escape as she wished it could be, to steal away her troubles so she could fill their void with carefree whimsy. If only . . .
Folken stopped spinning and followed her gaze. "Where are you?" he asked quietly.
"Here with you," Hitomi replied as if it were obvious.
"Your heart left Asturia awhile ago," said Folken, "somewhere across the ocean. It's just waiting for your mind to catch up."
Hitomi looked down at the sand, the waves lapping at her toes. As much as she wanted to show Folken she was all right, she couldn't force herself to smile. Her heart, in fact, was little more than a lump of lead right in her chest. She felt him loosen his grip to let her go, but kept her arms tight around his neck. When her feet touched the ground, instead of standing, she let her knees go out beneath her and pulled them both into the sand.
"I'm serious," said Folken, propping himself up above her. "You're not happy, I'm not happy. We can leave this place."
Hitomi rolled her head to the side as the ocean's icy spray slapped at her face. "You don't mean that."
"I do." Hitomi could her the intensity in Folken's voice even though she couldn't see it in his expression. "You remember, don't you? We were free of all this. No one knew who we were, where we went. We could live together without worrying about anything or anyone."
"I miss that," Hitomi admitted.
Folken went on. "You destroyed the Zaibach Empire; you fulfilled your purpose on Gaea. You don't owe anything else to this world. You don't have to suffer this rejection and ridicule for the sake of these people. You don't owe anything to Asturia."
Hitomi turned and looked up past him at the burning sky. "That's not true. When I first came here, Van, and Allen, and Millerna, and everybody looked out for me. They protected me from you," she said. "I made a lot of trouble for them, and even if I did save their home, I should still make up for the damage I created."
Folken closed his eyes, shaking his head. "But you're not happy." He opened them again. "How many times have your friends told you that the most important thing is your happiness?"
"I am happy here." But of course, Hitomi couldn't convince herself to believe these words any more than she could convince Folken.
"Then why don't you look at me when you say it?" he asked. "I know you're lying, Hitomi."
A tear rolled down her cheek.
Folken's expression flooded with concern at her defeatist manner. Nothing defeated Hitomi. "I'll take you anywhere; you just tell me where to go. Don't you remember how well that used to work?"
"But you just said-"
"I know what I just said." Folken's words took on a hint of desperation. "I'll be with you wherever you are, and if that somewhere isn't here, I'll take you there. I'll take you anywhere."
Hitomi met his gaze for the first time and reached up to touch his cheek, but Folken caught her hand before she could. The look in his eyes pleaded with her to accept his offer, and for a moment, she wished he could take her away into that quickly approaching darkness. But her obligations to Asturia kept her silent, everything she owed her friends forcing her to look away.
Folken scowled and his eyes narrowed as he stood up, leaving Hitomi lying on her back in the sand.
"Folken," she began, but he wouldn't look at her. "I'm sorry."
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TO BE CONTINUED . . .
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