Disclaimer: Tenkuu no Escaflowne is property of Bandai and Sunrise, all rights reserved. I am in no way affiliated with these companies, and am not making a profit by writing this novel. Any similarities between my work and that of any other fan-author is purely coincidental. "Life For Rent" song lyrics are property of Dido, all rights reserved.
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"Broken" - Chapter 13: An Influx of Opinions
By The Last Princess of Hyrule
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"While my heart is a shield,
And I won't let it down,
While I am so afraid to fail,
So I won't even try,
Well, how can I say I'm alive . . .?"
-Dido, "Life For Rent"
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The next day was a cold, stormy one. The overcast sky was a dark shade of gray, and the clouds rained big, heavy drops down on the city of Palas. A cold wind blew through the streets, freezing puddles and turning the rain to sleet. As far as Asturian winters went, this weather wasn't anything miraculous; most of the residents cursed it as it fell outside their windows, but nevertheless, Celena was fascinated.
She and Allen sat in the antique parlor of the Schezar estate, display room for the trophies and rarities of years past handed down by the family. None of these things seemed to interest Celena quite so much as the storm outside. She had abandoned her chair in front of the roaring fire in favor of a cold window seat that looked out on the forested back lawn. Her books and papers lay in a neat stack on the floor, waiting for her distraction to pass, which might never happen. She stared transfixed, her eyes bulging, as one poor gray squirrel scampered up and down the trunk of a tree.
/./Oh, come on, Celena/./ Dilandau complained as the squirrel made another round on the tree trunk. /./It's not like you've never seen rain or squirrels before././
/No, but Allen doesn't know that/ said Celena as she straightened her legs, stretching them out after half and hour tucked beneath her. /I just really don't want to study anymore./
Allen sat in another chair opposite the one Celena had vacated, sipping from a glass of white wine and watching her with a look of growing frustration. It was too cold and too stormy to train new soldiers on the practice grounds, as many of the days to come would be, so the knights had been granted a day of leave. Allen chose to spend his day off with his sister and drill her through her lessons rather than spend time with Millerna as he usually did.
Since Celena's return to Asturia, Allen had determined that she would learn to be a proper woman and act befitting her social station. This meant endless hours of books filled with rules of etiquette, needlepoint, and how to make idle chitchat on any number of vastly dull subjects. At first, Celena found the lessons fascinating, despite Dilandau's comment that knowing twenty-seven different stitches had no practical use in everyday life. After that, it didn't take her long to realize he was right.
Dilandau sighed. /./Celena, I'm bored. This is boring././
/Just look at him. He's so cute/
/./He'd be even cuter staring down the barrel of my flamethrower././
/Dilandau/
/./Gods, Celena, I am bored. I want to get up and do something././
/I know how you feel./
Finally, Allen couldn't stand the silence. Half an hour staring out that window was ridiculous. "Celena, what are you looking at? You're going to get sick if you stay by that window all day."
Reluctantly, Celena got up and plopped back into her chair, her arms and legs sprawled out. Then, she remembered herself and sat up straight, linking her ankles and folding her hands in her lap. For a minute, she started into the fire wide-eyed and alert, the pyro within entranced by the dancing flames. But before long, her eyes glassed over and her mind wandered, allowing another silence to settle over them.
"How are your studies coming, Celena?" Allen asked before the silence could take a strong hold. It was also a chance to see if she could be subliminally prompted to return to her work.
She couldn't. "They're fine," she answered, blinking a couple time as she came back to her body. "I'm trying to cross-stitch some quilt squares, but they're not coming out the way I imagined them. I also have a whole bunch of chain-stitched ones that they keep coming apart. I don't know how get them to hold."
Allen nodded. "You're making a blanket?"
"Yeah."
"Yes," he corrected heavily, masking a sigh. She still had such a long way to go.
"Yes, brother," said Celena.
He nodded again, and they slipped into another silence.
/./Since you have the moment, ask the knight how the new Asturian military is coming along././ There was obvious mockery in Dilandau's words. /./It must be frustrating to rebuild an entire army././
Celena didn't hesitate. "Allen, how are the new soldiers coming in their training? How long until they're finished?"
"Soldiers aren't like young ladies, Celena. They don't get 'finished.'" Allen gave her a curious look. "Why do you want to know?"
/./I hate that look. He's suspicious././
/No, he isn't/ she replied, listening with only half an ear. Celena had long-since lost interest in his paranoia. "I'm just interested in what you do all day," she said. "You're interested in my studies, and I don't think men are supposed to care about needlepoint."
Allen noted her point and nodded in understanding. "Well, the training is going well. That's all you need to know."
/./Ask him what kind of maneuvers he makes his students run././
"What kind of maneuvers do you students do?"
"Why are you so interested in fighting?"
Celena shrugged. "It's a change from etiquette."
Allen raised his glass to his lips and would say no more.
/./Ask him what class level his best students are at././
"What class level are your best students?"
Allen slammed the glass down and a little wine spilled out onto the rosewood coffee table between them. "It is none of your concern!" he snapped.
Celena drew back in her chair, her face flooded with surprise and even a little fear. His words carried enough spite, it was as if he'd verbally slapped her.
/./Great, now you've pissed him off././
Allen saw her expression and sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I'm sorry, Celena. I don't know why I'm so uptight about this. There's so much going on right now with the relief effort, the new soldiers, and all the uprisings; it's too much for the Knights Caeli to handle."
Celena leaned forward and patted his knee. "I know."
Allen looked at her in surprise, but said nothing.
/./The knight's onto us again././
/Stop being paranoid. You're the one who made me provoke him, anyway./
/./If he catches on, I'm blaming whatever happens on you././
/You do that./
Dilandau laughed, calmed by her disregarding comment. /./You're getting cynical, you know that/./
/I must get it from you./
/./I'm a bad influence like that././
Celena could almost imagine him smirking when she heard these words, though the mental picture was hindered by the fact that she had no idea what he looked like. It was oddly ironic that they could be so close and yet never see each other.
"Celena," said Allen suddenly. "What was it like living there?"
Celena blinked and shook her head, trying to figure out where this question had come from. "What?"
"When you were living in Zaibach," he rephrased. "What was it like?"
"I've told you before, I don't remember," she answered patiently. "The Sorcerers did a lot of experiments on me, and they're probably the reason I don't remember anything."
"No, I mean just recently. While you were living with Hitomi," Allen tried again.
"Oh, well. . . ." Celena hesitated. "It was nice." She watched him expectantly, unsure what to say.
"And?" he prompted.
"And what? What do you want to know?"
"I just wanted to know how long Hitomi's been acting like this," said Allen.
"Acting like what? Has she changed?" His statements left Celena out of the loop, and she was quickly losing her patience for it. Her words took on a sharper tone. "I guess I haven't known Hitomi for very long, so I don't know how she was before. She's been like she is now ever since I met her." Did that even make sense? Now she didn't even know what she was talking about.
"She used to have much better judgment than this," Allen went on, watching the fire now instead of his sister. "The Hitomi I knew never made a mistake like this that put so many people in danger."
Celena's eyebrows knit together in confusion as she tried to figure out what he meant by this. About then, the true meaning of his words finally struck. "Wait a minute, do you mean about Folken?"
Allen nodded. "You probably don't know this, but he used to be the Strategos of Zaibach up until just before the war. He was second-in-command of the entire empire under Dornkirk. From almost the minute Hitomi arrived on Gaea, Folken's been trying to capture her and use her power to destroy everything."
"I already knew that," said Celena.
Allen was undeterred. "Did you know that deserting the empire was just another one of his plans to capture Hitomi? He would convince her to trust him, and then he'd take her away. That was what I figured had happened to her when she left Asturia. I never expected that letter to Millerna would arrive from her, and certainly not that I'd ever see her again." He paused. "I don't know which is worse; that she could fall in love with someone like that, or that she'd lie to us and say leaving in the first place was her idea."
"How do you know it wasn't?"
"Celena, people like Folken don't just change their morals overnight and decide everything they've been striving toward for the last few years is wrong," Allen explained patiently, giving her a pitying look. "You're still young, and you haven't been out in the world long enough to see how nasty people are."
Celena considered this for a minute. He could be right. She didn't know much about people, and especially not about Folken. She knew from Dilandau about his ruthless tactics as the Zaibach Strategos, but he had never given her any reason to be suspicious of Folken now.
/./You shouldn't be././ said Dilandau. /./That knight's just trying to confuse you././ He took a deep breath and sighed. I hate to say it, but he's wrong about Folken. It's disgusting, but he sticks to his idiotic ideals no matter what././ Dilandau turned contemplative. /./You know, when it comes down to it, I don't know who I hate more, him or the knight. They're both so damn idealistic/./
/Dilandau. . . ./ Celena warned.
Dilandau groaned. /./Folken's always hated senseless killing. I guess after awhile, he just couldn't stand how Zaibach did things anymore and left. I wasn't on the Vione at the time, so I don't know exactly what happened to make him finally do it, but it was bound to happen. Even if the empire were still around, he'd never go back. He's totally devoted to something else now././ Dilandau laughed. /./It's so disgustingly obvious watching him around Hitomi; he's actually in love with her, and I'd love to see someone try to prove me otherwise././
Celena nodded, forgetting how strange this must have looked to Allen. /I guess you would know more about Folken than Allen, since you served under him./
/./The knight doesn't know anything. I don't know why you even bother listening to him././
"Celena, do you understand what I said?" Allen prompted.
"I think you're wrong," Celena found herself saying before she realized she'd spoken aloud.
"What?"
"What Hitomi told me was right," Celena continued. "Folken isn't the same person he used to be, and if she trusts him, that's good enough for me."
"You'll take her word over mine?"
Celena looked over out the window and the dark lawn beyond. "You know, I think I want to go outside for a little while. It's too stuffy in here."
Allen frowned. "Don't change the subject. I want you to answer my question."
Celena gave him a blank look. "Can I go outside? I promise I'll dress warm."
Allen's anger melted into worry. "Celena, do you understand what I'm saying?"
"I understand. I can go out."
Allen sighed. "I guess I wore you out. This is probably too much information to take in after only two months. When you're more prepared for it, I'll teach you about all the horrible things people do to each other." He shook his head and tried to push the thought out of mind.
/./My gods, this man is such an idiot. I can't believe he buys this pathetic act every time././
/He's just concerned about me. I shouldn't trick him like this./
/./Well, at least he's not getting all red in the face now././
"Allen, will you let me go outside, please?" Celena asked again in a pleading, singsong voice, the one Millerna always used around him to get her way.
Allen smiled. "I suppose we can take a little break. Come on, let's find you a warm jacket."
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The rain stopped falling just after noon, and Hitomi announced that she was going to visit Celena, who hadn't been seen around the palace in several days. Folken offered to come with her, but Hitomi insisted he stay in bed and sleep. He woke up that morning with a fever and could hardly walk the length of the room without stumbling. Hitomi shook her head. It was his own fault for standing in the frigid water when the tide came in last night. Folken didn't agree with this idea one bit, but when another dizzy spell hit as he tried to follow her, he ended up lying on the sofa again, waiting for the world to stop spinning.
Hitomi hated leaving him alone, but Celena hadn't looked too well either the last time she saw her. Folken could take care of himself just fine for a few hours. Grabbing his black cloak, the one she had given him in Egzardia, Hitomi walked quietly through the palace and outside.
With all her thoughts consumed by Folken and Celena, Hitomi didn't even notice Van coming from the opposite direction until he called out to her. "Hitomi!" he greeted cheerfully. "Where are you off to?"
"Van?" Hitomi pushed back the hood of the cloak, surprised that he had been able to recognize her. But then again, perhaps her distractions kept her from focusing on an image to conceal herself. She shook the thoughts out of her head. "I just thought I'd go visit Allen and Celena. I haven't seem them around the palace in awhile."
"That's nice of you." Van looked around, and his expression turned a little worried. "Are you going alone?"
"Yeah. Folken's sick, so I made him stay in bed." She smiled and shrugged. "I'm really hoping Celena's not."
Van returned the smile. "I guess I'll come along then. Someone like you shouldn't be wandering around Palas all alone, especially with all these disturbances." He gave her a knowing look, reminding her of a certain banquet not so long past.
"What do you mean 'someone like me'?" Hitomi snapped defensively. "Just because I'm a girl I can't take care of myself?"
"No, no." Van held up his hands. "I mean someone as important as you. You know what those rebels are saying about you being a 'guiding goddess'. You should really have someone to protect you in case they try to ambush you or something." He shrugged.
"That's very offensive," Hitomi said in a stern voice, but she couldn't help smiling at the thought. "Cute, but very offensive."
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TO BE CONTINUED . . .
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Please review! I'll try to have a chapter next Friday.