Disclaimer: Tenkuu no Escaflowne is property of Bandai and Sunrise, all rights reserved. I am in no way affiliated with these companies, and am not making a profit by writing this novel. Any similarities between my work and that of any other fan-author is purely coincidental. "Life For Rent" song lyrics are property of Dido, all rights reserved.
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"Broken" — Chapter 14: Life For Rent
By The Last Princess of Hyrule
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"But if my life is for rent,
And I don't learn to buy,
Well, I deserve,
Nothing more than I get,
'Cause nothing I have,
Is truly mine . . ."
-Dido, "Life For Rent"
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Celena took a breath of icy cold air and exhaled it in a thick mist. It was still early in the afternoon, but the sky darkened by clouds seemed more like evening. The rain had stopped while she and Allen were talking, though it looked like it could easily start again as they stepped outside to the wet, sweet-smelling yard. She shivered a little in her heavy overcoat, hugging its fur-lined collar closer around her neck. In order to keep her from ruining any of her nice dresses in the mud, Allen had allowed her to wear a pair of black trousers and a cream-colored shirt.
Celena stepped off the patio and onto the wide flagstones that made up the decorative path snaking through the private back lawn. Allen came out and watched her from the steps. A small smile crept across his face as she leapt from one imaginative stepping stone to the next.
/I love being outside!./ she said happily. /I love the smell of the air, and the feel of the wind, and even the cold weather when there's no sunshine./
/./That's wonderful././ Dilandau commented in a bitter voice.
/What's wrong? You were in such a good mood when we were inside./
Dilandau sighed. /./Celena, I'm bored—do you get that? I'm so bored I could just about go mad. There is nothing to do around here././
/I know. Between taking lessons and practicing my 'ladylike behavior' at the court, life feels completely meaningless./
/./No, you don't understand././ Dilandau sounded frustrated. /./You can get up, and walk around, and talk to people, and eat, and drink, and. . . ././ He trailed off. /./You get the point././
Celena stopped moving to give Dilandau the benefit of her full attention. /Dilandau, I know how you feel/ she insisted empathically, but she couldn't manage to connect with his feelings the way he kept pushing her back. /I remember what it was like to be trapped inside your mind when you were free to walk around./
/./Except that it didn't bother you because you couldn't remember what it was like to have a body before you woke up in my mind././ Dilandau countered. /./I remember! I remember being able to experience life for myself instead of getting it second-hand through your consciousness././
A worry line appeared on Celena's forehead that Allen noticed, but she stayed quiet and turned away from him, hoping he wouldn't come to confront her.
/./I'm sick of being confined this way././ Dilandau continued. /./I haven't been able to stretch my legs for three long months././ He heaved a long sigh. /./I know I don't actually have legs anymore, but I know what it felt like when I did, and I miss that feeling so much. I get restless because I can't control the things that happen to you—and me—and lately, I haven't been able to think of anything else. It's just about to drive me insane././
Dilandau's agitation spread through Celena's nerves with each breath, and she rubbed her hands together subconsciously. It was obvious that he'd been feeling this way for a long time. As often as several times a day, he would complain about how bored he was, even when they were busy. It was as if he'd lost all interest in live, and it had taken Celena weeks to figure it out. If Allen hadn't been watching her, she would have slapped herself for being so ignorant.
/Dilandau./ she started, tentative. /I'm so sorry. Believe me, I feel absolutely terrible about this. I wish there was something I could do to make up for it./
/./There is. Let me be free././
/What . . .?./ Celena asked again, hardly daring to believe what she'd heard.
/./You heard././
/That's . . . that's impossible. I could never put you in danger like that./
/./What danger? I can take care of myself just fine././
/You're the one who's been so worried about Allen finding out about you./
Dilandau groaned. /./I don't care about that anymore. You were right all along—it was just paranoia././
/Dilandau, please!./ Desperation she couldn't hide filled Celena's visage. /I can't let you make a mistake like this./
/./Celena, I told you, I can't take it anymore!././ he cried. /./You don't understand!././
/I do!./ Celena insisted. Hot, frustrated tears that didn't belong to her rolled down her cheeks. /I'm begging you, don't do something rash! We can work this out!./
/./No, I have to get out of this now!././
With only a moment's hesitation, he reached out to the bridge between their two separate minds. It was as if a pair of frozen hands grabbed a part of her head that Celena couldn't warm up, a feeling like the beginning of a migraine, when nothing would stop this pain from consuming all her senses. Celena clasped her hands over her skull and screamed in blood-chilling torment. She tightened her fingers into fists and grasped handfuls of hair, pulling at them with all her strength. She struggled without fruit to create enough pain outside her body to distract her from what was going on within.
"Celena!" Allen leapt down from the patio and dashed across the lawn to her.
Violent shakes overtook her body, and Celena dropped in a writhing heap into the mud and grass. She curled into a fetal ball the moment she hit the ground, her screams only pausing long enough for her to draw a quick breath. Different parts of her body twisted and pinched together in all the wrong directions, her fear making her dizzy. The ground dipped and dove around her in a feverish haze, and even though the air was cold, perspiration appeared on her forehead.
"Celena!" Allen called, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Celena, what is it!"
"Go away!" she screamed, her words only half intelligible, clawing with sharp nails at her face. "Go away! Don't look at me!"
He struggled to keep her down. "Celena!"
/Dilandau . . ./ Celena forced her mind to focus, thought it caused the pain to worsen. /I'm not . . . letting . . . you do this/
/./Don't fight me, Celena!././
/Dilandau/ She stopped screaming and gasped loudly for air, her lungs failing her. The pain kept her from thinking, but one impulse was automatic in her mind: get away from Allen now. With a sudden violent jerk, Celena shoved her brother aside and leapt to her feet, tearing recklessly into the forest. As she crashed into some tall bushes and fell off balance, she caught a look back and saw Allen already on his feet coming after her.
/Dilandau . . . please!./
/./Don't fight me!././
Celena's foot fell into a hidden divot and she stumbled, barreling through some underbrush and down a shallow embankment into a muddy road right at the feet of two travelers.
Someone—a woman, by the sound of the voice—gasped. "Celena!"
"Don't look at me!" Celena shrieked, barely registering that it was Hitomi.
The two people dropped down on either side of her.
"What the hell's wrong with her!" A man—who for some reason sounded like Van—asked.
"God, I have no idea. Celena!" Hitomi reached out to her, but Celena forced her back.
She covered her head with her arms. "Go away . . .!"
"Hitomi!" Allen ran down the embankment and fell distraught beside Celena. "I don't know what's happening to her! She just suddenly started screaming!"
/./Stop fighting me!././
"Don't look at me . . .!" Celena's voice was barely above a hoarse whisper, but still frantic. She couldn't seem to catch her breath anymore. Her heart beat faster and faster, blocking out pain, speech, and even thought. "I can't . . . hold . . ."
Darkness rushed over her as Celena suddenly went limp, and as it came in, everything else went out—the ache of her body, the sight of the road, the smell of rain in the air, the sounds all around her, the taste of blood in her mouth as she bit her tongue. For a moment, she felt deadened, the sensation one has in a soundproof box.
Then, as Dilandau opened his eyes—which momentarily flickered between blue and red—sensation flooded back to Celena . . . but skewed somehow. She could see everything Dilandau saw, feel everything he felt, but somehow these senses were stale, second-hand. They were everything that went through Dilandau's mind not even a split-second before they reached Celena. Even though he was feeling the exact same things she had felt only a minute ago, now those things had lost their original flavor, like milk just past its expiration date.
Allen was the first to speak, and his voice was more timid and full of worry than anyone had ever heard it. "Celena . . .?"
The voice that replied was smooth and velvety, a voice most unlike Celena's. "I told you not to look at me." Supporting himself on shaking arms, Dilandau pushed himself to his feet. The squish of the mud under his hands did not seem quite natural to Celena. It was at that point that she fully realized what had happened.
"Oh, God," Hitomi whispered.
/No, no, no/ Celena prayed fervently. /Please, Jichia, spare him. Don't harm Dilandau./
Dilandau straightened, breathing deeply. He stared up at the sky, drinking in everything he had missed in the last three months as Hitomi, Allen, and Van looked on in disbelief. /./Spare me. I'm going to be fine././
If she could have, Celena would have broken into tears, just so everyone could see them fall from Dilandau's eyes. But there was such a lack of empathy in him that no emotion of hers would ever show though on his face.
Again, Allen was the first to break the silence. "Who are you?" he demanded in a cold, quiet voice, trying to hide his apprehension. "What have you done to my sister?"
Dilandau started to laugh. "Melodramatic as always, I see. I guess it doesn't matter who you're looking at—you act the same way all the time." Without hesitation, he turned and faced Allen with an all-too-familiar smirk.
Allen's eyes narrowed. "Dilandau." He didn't let any more emotion show on his face. "I thought you died in Zaibach with the rest of the empire's trash."
"You wish that, don't you?"
"Where's Celena?"
"Wouldn't you love to know?" Dilandau shot back in mockery. He looked past Allen to Hitomi and Van. "And who else would tag along behind the knight but the poor little King of Fanelia and his girlfriend from the Mystic Moon? Why, the nostalgia is killing me."
"Dilandau, please." Unfazed, Hitomi struggled to her feet and stood just a few inches shorter than him. "What have you done with Celena?"
The smirk wiped off Dilandau's face unexpectedly, catching Hitomi by surprise. "She's gone, and it might be a very long time before you see her again."
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TO BE CONTINUED . . .
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Yeah, you can still feel free to leave your poll results. Job D or Job T. :) Or you can just give me a review anyway. Please review!