Disclaimer: Tenkuu no Escaflowne is property of Bandai and Sunrise, all rights reserved. I am in no way affiliated with these companies, and am not making a profit by writing this novel. Any similarities between my work and that of any other fan-author is purely coincidental. "Not Enough" song lyrics are property of Flaw, all rights reserved.
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"Broken" — Chapter 15: Not Enough
By The Last Princess of Hyrule
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"Please give back what is not yours to have,
It's the only thing that I've got left,
Never was enough to satisfy,
And I'm left empty . . ."
-Flaw, "Not Enough"
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Ever so slowly, Van drew his sword, his eyes following Dilandau. The smooth blade emerged from the sheath with a sharp ring, echoing among the quiet, falling raindrops. The four people in the muddy road felt that soft patter on their heads, but did not pay it heed. They watched, spellbound and awestruck, each a different thought, but all full of wonder. Van hardened his expression, trying to keep as much of his surprise and confusion a secret from Dilandau. His grip on the sword's hilt tightened.
Next to him, Hitomi saw it. "No," she commanded sternly, holding a hand out in front of him. "I don't want you to fight, Van."
Van ignored her, working his feet into the mud until he was sure he was stable. A minute ago, he stood over Celena Schezar, listening to her scream in torment until everything went silent and it was Dilandau Albatou whose next words came from her mouth. How it happened, Van didn't know. Frankly, he didn't want to know. Dilandau was supposed to be dead, crushed in the rubble of the fallen Zaibach empire—and here he was, alive all these months inside Celena.
"Dilandau," Hitomi started, somehow readily accepting this sudden revelation, "why did you break your promise?" Her tone was knowing.
Dilandau turned to her. "What are you talking about?" His question didn't fool anyone; there was no sincerity in his words.
"You told Celena that this life was hers to live," said Hitomi. "As long as she wanted it, you promised to repay her for all the years you stole. You gave her your word, Dilandau. Does that mean anything to you?"
Dilandau held her gaze in all seriousness for a moment, but before he could answer, Allen did so for him.
"Of course not," said the knight. His voice was low, but quickly rose in intensity with each word he spoke. "What would Zaibach trash like him ever know about honor? What would he know about dignity?" Allen crossed his arms, all muscles tense. "On what worth would you base his promises!"
"Allen, please." Hitomi grabbed his arm. "I know you're upset, but promise me you'll hear him out. Your word's worth that, right?"
"Hardly," Allen murmured under his breath.
Allen's rage brought a familiar smirk to Dilandau's face. "When I gave Celena that promise, I expected her to give me the respect I deserve as well. I gave up my only chance to live just so she could come back to her pointless existence here. If she really thought that came without a price, then she was sorely mistaken." He held up his hands with a helpless shrug. "Everything in this world has its price, and she had to learn that."
These words did little more for Van than to confuse him further, and he was already frustrated by this beyond comment. Whatever had happened between Dilandau and Celena these past months seemed right off the deep end, and where Hitomi fit into it all only made the puzzle more intricate. The whole souls-sharing-a-body bit seemed too crazy to believe—that was what all this equaled up to, wasn't it? Dilandau and Celena being two halves of the same person? Of course, there was no way to get answers. Every word out of Dilandau's mouth only raised more questions.
Unwittingly, Van shifted his balance and crouched in a fighter's stance, holding his sword out before him. Contrary to anything else, he still knew one thing: Dilandau was a murdering scourge, and Van had sworn long ago to make him pay for what he did to Fanelia.
Out of the corner of his eye, Dilandau noticed the movement and turned his attention to Van. "You still want to kill me?" he asked in an exasperated tone.
"You destroyed my home," said Van. The lives of hundreds of his countrymen had been squandered in a meaningless fire that even now served to ignite fury in the young king's heart. "When I heard you died in Zaibach, I prayed it wasn't true. I wanted to kill you with my own hands."
Dilandau started to laugh. "How long have you been waiting to say that to me?"
"Too long."
Dilandau cocked his head to the side, looking Van up and down, and one side of his mouth twitched upward in a smile. "You look like you've gone soft waiting." He paused. "Softer. You can't seriously want to fight me."
Van opened his mouth to speak, but Hitomi cut him off. "Van, stop provoking him," she scolded, stepping between the king and Dilandau just in case.
"Don't worry, he's not," said Dilandau. "I can't imagine anyone getting offended over such pathetic drivel. . . ." He trailed off, looking almost thoughtful. "But I want to fight. I miss kicking the King of Fanelia's ass."
"Funny, I remember that being the other way around." Van smiled as his words wiped away Dilandau's smug expression. He automatically touched the scar on his cheek carved from the sword Van held before him.
"We'll have to see about that, won't we?" he replied. "But alas, I don't have a weapon. I suppose we'll have to wait for another day. After all, where's the glory in striking down an unarmed opponent? If you succeed in striking me down," he added on second thought.
Van hesitated. Sixteen years of sword training told him never to attack an unarmed man, regardless of what scum he might be. His swordmaster, Balgus, had been particularly pertinent in embedding a sense of honor in the young prince.
"The honorable thing to do would be to let you find a weapon." Allen spoke in a slow, patient voice that Van could tell was forced. "But what makes you think you deserve that? Did you give Celena the chance to defend herself before you killed her?"
Dilandau's red eyes snapped over to Allen, giving him a fiery glare. It was strange, Van noticed. Any time conversation switched to Celena, Dilandau suddenly turned serious. There was apparently more to their mixed-up relationship than Van knew.
"I didn't kill her, you stupid bastard," Dilandau insisted. "I just made her go away for a while."
"You have no idea what you've done!" Allen snapped, threatening the young albino in a blind rage. Van had seen Allen angry before, especially when conversation concerned his family, but never like this. Never with such passion that he forgot himself. "Celena barely had a chance to start her life over when you stole it again. Think about what you did to her. You have no idea how she's suffered."
"Idiot knight," Dilandau spat. "It's you who has no idea how much Celena suffered, and how much I suffered. How can you even consider claiming that I know nothing about Celena? I have seen things in the darkest corners of her mind that she will never tell you about. She didn't even tell you about me."
"Maybe with good reason! She was obviously so scared of you that she did everything you wanted her to!"
Clenching his fists, Dilandau pushed Hitomi roughly aside and strode up to Allen. "You think I wanted this?" he yelled, shoving the knight back. "If Celena did everything I wanted, do you think I'd have come here? Do you think I'd let her put me through this? If I had that kind of control, I'd have made sure you always thought she was dead."
Allen stumbled, knocked back by both words and motions. Hitomi's words kept him from doing anything irrational—that is, until Dilandau came to the end of his tirade. So emotionally ravaged by now, Allen couldn't come back with anything but a swift punch connecting with Dilandau's jaw that sent him reeling into the mud.
Dilandau sat up and touched the place Allen hit him. "You want to fight me, then?" he asked, pushing his jaw back into place. "You want to do the dishonorable thing, Knight Caeli, and kill an unarmed man?" He held his arms out. "Well, go ahead. You'll never have a better chance."
Allen scowled, staring down at Dilandau for a moment. The world seemed to hold its breath. Then, he took a step forward.
"Allen, no!" Hitomi dashed past Dilandau and stood in front of the knight. "You can't kill him!"
"And why not? He can't expect to kill my sister and get away with it!" Allen yelled over her shoulder, his words directed more at Dilandau than Hitomi. "Even if it's a dishonorable death, he will die tonight!"
Dilandau started to laugh. "By gods, I knew you were ignorant, but I didn't know you were this bad."
"Allen, Celena isn't dead!" Hitomi insisted, taking both Allen's hands in hers. "But if you kill Dilandau, she will be!"
"Impossible!" Allen shook his head. "There's just no way! Listen to yourself, Hitomi. He's got you so turned around you have no idea what you're saying anymore."
"What? Dilandau hasn't—"
"Not Dilandau—Folken. You must have gotten this stupid idea from him," Allen insisted. "You don't even know that he's taking advantage of you, do you? Your judgment used to be so much better than this. Why, if there was one thing I never thought I'd have to worry about with you, it was that you'd be fooled into believing someone like him had good intentions." Allen's expression softened into pity. "What did he do to you when he kidnapped you? Why do you think you have to keep up this charade that you're in love?"
Disbelief was etched in every inch of Hitomi's visage. Van shifted uneasily where he stood detached from the action. He wanted to reach out to Hitomi and tell her anything that would make that hurt look vanish. But watching her with Allen seemed painfully surreal. No matter how much he wanted to change the events that passed, there was nothing he can do.
Hitomi backed away slowly, staring right through Allen. "I am in love," she insisted, obviously without a doubt in her mind. "How can you say that?"
Allen reached out to her, but Hitomi shied away. "Talk to me, Hitomi, please," he begged.
"You are pathetic," Dilandau laughed. "You can't even get the girl you used to love to trust you now."
Allen shot Dilandau a menacing glare. "This is all the fault of Zaibach."
Dilandau laughed harder. "That's your excuse for everything."
"Both of you, just stop!" Hitomi shouted. "Allen, go home. Dilandau, you're coming back to the palace with me and Van."
"You think that, huh?"
"Get up!"
"Hitomi, you can't take that murderer with you," Allen warned.
"I can, and will." Hitomi pivoted around and started purposefully in the direction of the palace. Van watched her for a moment, stunned. Suddenly he was seeing a whole new side to Hitomi, an independent side she certainly hadn't possessed before she left Palas. This Hitomi didn't seem to want anyone making decisions for her anymore, nor telling her what to think or how to feel. Shaking his head, Van sheathed his sword and followed after.
Dilandau got up, giving Allen a rude gesture. "See you around, knight. Maybe next time we meet you'll have the guts to finish what you started. Wouldn't want to dishonor Celena, would you?"
Allen clenched his fists, but all the honor and dignity left in him barely kept his hands at his sides as Dilandau turned and walked away.
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TO BE CONTINUED . . .
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Anime Oasis!
Well, readers, this will probably be the last update between now and after Anime Oasis (March 25-27). Yes, after missing it last year, I'll finally be able to go to my second real anime convention (and this one of noteworthy size). Yay! I pity all you all who aren't anywhere near a con (or have never been). I've been saving money, and aim to get myself many bishi plushies:) Seriously, this is way better than spring break at Cancun. Anime! Whoo, now I'm excited!
Note: Van has already turned sixteen, seeing as his birthday is in spring. "Broken" takes place during the fall-winter months, and he's several months older than Hitomi. Just to clarify.