Driving With the Brakes On
Disclaimer – I own nothing to do with The O.C, they belong to Josh and the people at Fox!
A/N; Here we go again I wanted this chapter to be dramatic and tug at the heart strings but it turns out I'm not so good at that.
Had too much fun writing the light chapters so this one suffered a bit – not as long as the others but I hope it tides you over to the next chapter is posted.
By the way all the chapter titles (except the first two) come from an album so they also don't belong to me. Well done to anyone who can name that album you have great taste in music!
Enjoy and please review!
It was the longest few weeks of Sandy and Kirsten's lives, everyday they got up at dawn, travelled to the hospital to visit their children never leaving before dusk.
After the emergency birth Kirsten had remained in the theatre to be cleaned up, Sandy had kissed her goodbye and then followed the boys up to intensive care.
Kirsten's mother had arrived while they were in the operating room she was frantic with worry having been stuck in traffic for most of the drive. Sandy reassured her as best he could, she was thrilled to have two little grandsons but wanted to make sure her own baby was alright. Allowing Sandy to go with the boy's safe in the knowledge that Kirsten had her mom to take care of her.
He watched helplessly as his sons were transferred into static incubators, luckily the boys had been placed side by side meaning Sandy could watch them both. Nurses bustled around him attaching many different wires and tubes to his son's bodies, adjusting monitors and administering medication.
Seth seemed alright, small but then he was born early, he was pink and cried as the nurses poked and prodded at him. The nurse working with him explained that he was hooked up to a heart monitor as a precaution and was having an oxygen supplement to help him breath. He was in an incubator because premature babies have trouble regulating their body temperature; she assured Sandy that he was perfectly healthy all this was just because he was born so early.
Relieved Sandy turned his attention to his other son as the nurses put on Seth's first nappy. He felt very guilty looking down at his youngest child – they were still to decide on a name for him. They had agreed on a girls name but not another boy, Kirsten had held out for a girl the whole time, she said she would come up with a name once she saw him. It was too late now this little baby was here but Sandy didn't have a name for him.
The activity surrounding him had not ceased yet, he too was hooked up just like Seth Sandy was calmer this time knowing it was merely precautionary. He was shocked however when the nurse at the top of the incubator stepped back to reveal that his situation was in fact very different – protruding from his tiny face was a large tube.
Sandy let out a gasp stepping forward he attracted the attention of the nurses; he pushed his hands up against the glass trying to touch his baby.
"Sir?" Sandy turned his glazed eyes toward her, "His lungs are underdeveloped that's why he's on the vent. He's very small, he wasn't ready to be born we'll do everything we can for him."
The tone panicked Sandy she was implying that he would die; he wasn't going to survive like Seth was.
But to everyone's surprise little Ryan did hold on, he survived the night and held his own through the first few days.
Once Kirsten was strong enough to leave her bed she had been taken up to the NICU to see her children, it had actually taken all the staffs persistence to stop her going up there the moment she wakened.
She had named Ryan the moment she saw him, it was her uncle's name he had survived cancer twice and she thought it suited the baby as he was a fighter.
It was hard for all the family to have the boys in specialist care; the new grandparents could only see the boys for ten minutes at a time. Sandy's mother had travelled down from New York to see them, she was staying in the house while Sandy and Kirsten went back and forth.
The days just seemed to drag in, for every two steps the boys went forward they took one back. It was so frustrating for Sandy and Kirsten to see their boys struggling; it was like driving with the brakes on - constantly trying to make a difference but never quite succeeding
As the days went by Seth got stronger until his parents were finally able to hold him, Kirsten was even asked to feed him. She had succeeded on her first attempt Seth eager to be with his mother but Sandy noted that the whole time she was feeding him she kept her eyes locked on Ryan.
She was never willing to hold or feed him, preferring to sit by Ryan's bed one hand cupped on the top of his small head the other rhythmically stroking his chest. She could stay like that for hours through meal times and shift changes – she just had to be near her son.
Sandy had to drag her away at the end of each day, he would quietly kiss each boys head and tell them he loved them, and then pull Kirsten up from her chair supporting her until they got to the car. He would lie awake at night and listen to her crying, she would do her best to hide it but she never could she would always breakdown into sobs. Sometimes she would let him hold her, comfort her in anyway he could other nights she would push him away retreating to the solitude of the bathroom.
The days seemed to run into one another, never doing anything except sitting in the hospital.
It was well into the third week when Sandy and Kirsten were buzzed into the NICU they nodded at the nurses some of whom had become familiar faces, they walked hand and hand up to the far corner of the ward.
Spying an empty incubator, Kirsten spun around wildly – Ryan was gone. The tears streamed down her face, she anticipated the worst, she was crying and screaming for her baby.
Sandy held her tightly; he couldn't understand what had happened - if something bad had happened to Ryan they would have called he was sure of it.
"Mrs. Cohen." A nurse appeared to their right she was holding a small bundle in her arms. "He's here Kirsten it's alright."
Looking up from her heap Kirsten look at the baby in her arms, Ryan's tiny face beamed back at her. The tubes and wires gone for the first time Sandy and Kirsten could finally see his whole face he was so beautiful.
Kirsten took him from the nurse's arms as she continued to cry rocking slowly with Ryan in her arms.
"Hey baby." Ryan looked directly at her yawning a little and wiggling in her arms, "Hi beautiful boy – I'm your mommy. Yes I am, aren't you gorgeous."
The house was completely done up with balloons and streamers, a banner hung above the arch in the living room. Hailey had hand painted the sign it read; 'Welcome home Seth and Ryan!'
The house buzzed with excitement, the whole extended Nichol and Cohen family were there – Sandy's brother and sister both decided to make the trip to see the new editions to the family.
Kirsten had spent the night before tidying the whole house she wanted everything to be perfect for the boys arrival. She had spent several hours in particular fixing the boys room ensuring everything was to hand for easy manoeuvres and organising all the teddies which the boys had received. Sandy was pleased to see Kirsten happy and content she had finally taken on a mothering glow instead of a worn worried expression.
They had taken great pleasure in dressing both boys in their little outfits although Ryan's was slightly more difficult to find as nothing they had been given was his size. Finally they had settled for simple white sleep suits, placing the boys in their new car seats they took nearly an hour just to leave the ward stopping to thank everyone they met on the way.
Driving home both parents continually shifted in their seats trying to look back into the rear. Sandy positioned the mirror every so slightly lower so he had a good shot of the boys heads while Kirsten practically sat backward in her chair just to be able to see them. The problem with having two was that one was directly behind you so you had to rely on the passenger to look at him.
As they pulled into the road and were amazed at what they saw – all the neighbours had poured out onto the street. The sidewalk outside their house was filled with well wishers anxious to see the Cohen boys in the flesh.
Sandy lifted Seth while Kirsten took Ryan as everyone gasped and cooed over the tiny babies. It had been six weeks since they were born and although all the doctors were happy with their progress they still appeared small. Especially Ryan, who slept with his head on Kirsten's shoulder oblivious to the fuss surrounding him.
Everything supposedly designed for babies appeared to swamp him, Sandy had been so nervous when he bathed him that he'd ended up holding the supplies while the nurse talked him through it. The smallest of nappies reached his armpits and when placed in a pram he looked like he was being eaten alive by cloth.
Finally making it into the house they were glad to be able to sit down away from the crowd. Automatically Seth and Ryan were snatched away by clucking grandmothers; they were bounced on many knees and exposed to as much baby talk as was possible.
Exhausted from their day the boys settled into their nightly sleep earlier than usual allowing Sandy and Kirsten to thank all their family and usher them from the house.
Wrapping his arm around Kirsten, Sandy guided her back up to the nursery where they stood in the doorway just staring at their sons.
A crackle was heard from one of the cribs as Seth began to wake already needing a nappy changed. Releasing his wife Sandy kissed her temple and whispered;
"We just got in way over our heads."
Well that was chapter three - not my best but I hope it was okay for you guys.
Please review and let me know what you thought - a mix of angst and fluff always a good combination!