A/N: A quick update as requested. I can't promise to continue doing this however. Lots to do around here! Enjoy! YTDAW's: Search for the hint ;-)

Sara got out of the breakroom as fast as she could. She had known she would have to tell Grissom about the miscarriage at some point, but she couldn't have guessed it had been this soon. It still was so fresh in her mind. She woke up one morning with cramps and she had known immediately there was something terribly wrong.

At that point she wanted more than anything to call Grissom. She needed him to comfort her, to cry with her, to hug her, to kiss her, to tell her it was not her fault and that anything was going to be okay.

Surely when she thought about it objectively she knew that she only miscarried because something had been wrong with the baby. But she didn't feel it that way. Maybe if she hadn't taken that glass of wine, or that cigarette, if she hadn't gone for a long run or work double shifts... Maybe that baby would have survived.

She fought the urge to tell Grissom for two weeks. She was still so angry with him for suggesting abortion. Now he had gotten what he wanted. There would be no baby. She didn't dare tell him while the wounds were fresh. She knew she wouldn't be able to stand the look of relief in his eyes when she'd tell him he wouldn't be a daddy after all.

Get real Sidle, this is Grissom. He might be an insensitive jerk when it came to conversations, he might have said some things and he might have made some suggestions that you won't forget in a long time, but Grissom would never be happy about something like this. Grissom is not the kind of person to enjoy another's grief.

They had shared passionate moments. He had acted a way she hadn't dared to imagine possible. He was generous and kind, he wanted to know about her past. His 'How are you?'s were sincere and not just a matter of speach.

But still she couldn't overcome the hurt and reject she had felt when he found her in the music store. She could have come to peace with the fact that he had rejected their child at first, as some sort of defense mechanism. To be very honest she had even thought about the possibility herself for one split second. The fact however, that after a little while he still felt that he couldn't handle a child made her more than sad. His telling her he wanted to be there for the child just now, after four weeks of reconsidering didn't change that.

But as she had told him, it didn't matter anymore. She was no longer pregnant and probably wouldn't be for a very long time. Maybe not ever.

The thought made her sad. Being pregnant had been more special to her than she had ever thought possible. The idea of something growing inside of her -or not, as it turned out- had overwhelmed her and she couldn't stop thinking about it. Now she couldn't stop thinking about the fact that there was nothing growing inside her.

She lowered herself on a bench in front of the lab building. The sun was starting to rise in the east and it cast a golden shine on everything around. The heat was already obvious. It was going to be a hot day.

Realising she had the next night off she decided to enjoy the heat for once instead of fighting it, searching for cool in her room, unsuccesfully obviously. She needed some pampering.

Since when have you become a softy Sidle? Just go back to your apartment, turn on every fan you can find and enjoy a nice copy of Nicholas Evans while sitting in your window.

She decided to do exactly that.

Lingering on the bench for just a couple more minutes Sara closed her eyes and let the rays of the morning sun tickle her face. She'd have to start paying attention to the small things in life. She'd have to find joy again, now that she wouldn't be able to find it in her work for a while.

Sara tensed as a shadow cast over her. She was not prepared for another encounter with Grissom. She needed time, if only a few hours. He needed time to get used to the fact that there was no bond between them now. No need to play nice anymore. No need to treat her any different than he had for years, any different than other CSI's.

She slowly opened her eyes and squinted through her lashes.

"I thought you were sleeping." A familiar voice said.

"I hardly ever do." Sara answered.

"As if I don't know that!"

Sara was already tired of the conversation.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Sure..." Sara answered politely. "I'm going in a minute though..."

"That's okay."

Her company sat down.

"Woah... What's that smell? It smells... Hammish..." Sara cried out, fighting the urge to pinch her nose.

"It's spam."

"Oh... You know... I used to not be able to remember that name!" Sara told.

"I knew it was something with 'sp' and it sounded like something but it wasn't... I used to call it 'spork'."

"Really?" Sofia grinned. "Well, that's not too weird you know... After all... Ham is made of pork."

"Exactly!" Sara nodded.

The scent of spam had nauseated her, as did the company and she couldn't wait to get out of there.

"Sorry if I seem rude, but I have an appointment so I really have to get going."

"Sure!" Sofia smiled.

Sara stood up.

"I'm free tonight, so I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Borro!" Sofia produced with her mouth full.

Sara turned and left for her car.

Feeling better already? I know I do! Please review. Need your opinions!