A/N:
Raina: In answer to your question about the age difference. Kat is 17
(almost 18) and Weiss I figured to be older than Syd but Younger than
Vaughn by a year or two. I just realized now that when I mapped out all the
ages and everything, I calculated Syd to be 30 which would mean the story
takes place after her missing two years. But really it takes place before
her missing two years so I'm just going to ignore that little bit lol.
Anyway so I put Weiss at 31 so, 18 & 31=13 year difference.
Thank you everyone for all the great replies. I'm glad your enjoying, keep 'em up lol. I'm updating all my PM lists so if you want to be notified when I post new chapters just let me know E
Redemption
Chapter Forty One
Dr. Barnette carefully flipped through the pad of drawings Jack had given her. Finally she set them down and took off her glasses looking up and Jack and Sydney's expectant faces. "You were right to bring them to me."
"So what are they, I mean what do they mean?" Sydney asked.
"I couldn't say," she shook her head.
"She hasn't given you any idea from your sessions?"
"I wouldn't know," Dr. Barnette said. "She won't talk to me."
"What?" Sydney was confused. "She said your sessions were going well, she said she thought she was making real progress. She lied?"
Barnette nodded in confirmation.
"But why?"
"When doesn't your sister lie," Jack stood and studied a framed piece of art on the adjacent wall. "Every word out of her mouth is a falsification of the truth. Anything from what she remembers about Moscow to what she did or more often did not eat for breakfast. She won't trust anyone. I'd even consider giving her a lie detector test if I didn't think she could lie her way through to a passing grade."
"I didn't realize things were so bad, why didn't you tell me?"
"Your concentration was needed elsewhere."
"She's my sister-"
"I didn't think it would have made a difference."
"What's important right now is finding out where all this is coming from," Barnette pointed to the drawing of Jack and Sydney. "I met with Kat last Tuesday, the day after you returned from Moscow. During that meeting she was willing to talk to me. I talked with her for an hour and a half but the next day she wouldn't talk at all. Not a word. Now something must have happened between Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning to set this off. Agent Bristow do you have any idea of what that could be?"
Jack nodded and explained to Sydney and Barnette about the nightmare Kat had experienced Tuesday night. She hadn't said much about it, only that in the dream she had stabbed and killed both Sydney and Jack. He also revealed her secret regarding the continuing nightmares.
"I never knew," Sydney shook her head sadly. "She lived in my house for four months and I never knew, how could I not?"
"Your sister is very skilled at deception," Barnette adjusted her glasses. "In some ways far better than either of your abilities. Not necessarily because she wants to be, but because she has to be. She's been learning how to lie, to deceive and how to cover things up since she was a child. It was a means of survival. In her case, she's most likely developed coping mechanisms for her nightmares that allow her to hide them from everyone. Things like waking up in the middle before she screams, keeping her mouth closed so you can't hear her crying at night. Making herself realize it's a nightmare and waking up before it gets too bad, even pretending to sleep when other people are there because she's afraid of having one, afraid of people knowing the truth. Obviously there are times when she can't stop them and you hear her but for the majority of the time she's learned how to hide them."
"She shouldn't have to," Sydney sighed.
"No she shouldn't," Barnette slipped her glasses off. "Sydney, though your sister appears very grown up and in most aspects she is. She's far beyond her years experienced more than one should have to but in other aspects she's still very much a child. She missed out on a lot of experiences, a lot of stages of development. She's never learnt to trust adults or really anyone in general. Just about every single one she had the potential to get close to betrayed her in some way or another and she doesn't want to get hurt."
Jack stared out the window as he listened to Barnette speak and he realized he'd severely underestimated his daughter. He knew that he had to give her something she desperately wanted even if the very thought of it unnerved him. "What about Agent Weiss?" he asked turned back to the doctor and Sydney.
"Agent Weiss is different," Barnette began. "He's like her security blanket, the one person she can go to for anything. She trusts him with her life. My guess is that he sees more of the real side of her than anyone else does. She's not afraid of him because he doesn't have the potential to hurt her the way that either of you do-"She was interrupted by a knock on the door and a moment later Kat walked in surprised to find Jack and Sydney there.
"Katy," Sydney stood up to give her a hug.
"What are you doing here?" she stepped back avoiding her sisters arms.
"Well there's some things we need to discuss," Sydney explained. "We thought doing it here with Dr. Barnette would be a good idea."
"Okay," she said slowly and lowered herself into Jack's vacated chair. "What did someone die?" she asked judging the reaction on their faces.
Barnette flipped the pad of paper over to show her. "We want to talk about your drawings."
"You went through my stuff?" She said accusingly at Jack and stood up facing him.
"You left it on your desk," he explained calmly. "It wasn't hidden."
"It doesn't matter, it wasn't your property!"
"Katy please," Sydney stood and reached for her once more but the younger girl backed out of her reach. "We just need to know what's going on with you."
"I'm fine!"
"No," she shook her head. "You're not."
"Yes I am."
"No, you're not. Please just let us help you."
"Because," she cried exasperated.
"Because why?"
"Because, I don't want to hurt you," she whispered.
"You're worried that you might hurt them because of your dreams?" Barnette asked.
She didn't need to answer.
"Katy, that's ridiculous," Sydney sighed. "They're just dreams, they don't mean anything. You could never hurt me or dad or anyone."
"Don't be naïve," she scoffed. "You've seen me, you know what I am capable of. I shot a man; I killed him.
"Katarina, you did what you had to do. If you hadn't shot Viktor Melnikov, he would have killed her." Jack's voice was firm. "You had to make a choice a bad choice but a choice none the less and you made the right decision.
"Who are we talking about?" Barnette interrupted and was surprised to see three worried sets of eyes looking at her.
"It was me," Sydney lied. "Melnikov was about to stab me but Katy shot him first." She looked over at her sister wondering if her hatred for their mother would cause her to say something else. But thankfully it didn't and the secret of Irina's involvement in her daughters rescue was kept.
"I see," Barnette nodded slowly. "Kat killing someone in self defense is a far cry from what your drawings predict of pre-mediated murder. There is a clear line of division that I do not believe you could cross."
Kat turned to Barnette a look of sheer distaste, evident on her face. "Forgive me Dr. Barnette but sitting in your office for an hour, a few times a week does not give you the right to judge my actions, or lack there of. I don't even know what I am capable of anymore-"
"Enough." Jack interrupted and crossed his arms over his chest looking down at Kat. "Katarina, you once told me that there were exactly four people in the world have you had any amount of trust in." He waited for her acknowledgement before continuing. "Two of those four people included Sydney and myself, has that assessment changed at all?"
Slowly Kat shook her head; her eyes still full of unshed tears.
"Then live up to your judgement," he spoke quietly. "Trust that we will not allow you to be put in the position."
"I can't," she whispered shaking her head. "I can't risk it."
"Yes you can."
"I can't," she shook her head. "I can't risk loosing you, people die around me, people close to me—they die."
"If you don't at least try, then you've already lost." He held out his hand to her. She eyed it and then him and back to his hand, judging if she could take the risk. She did and Jack knew that she was back. The little girl who'd clung to him so tightly the week before, apologizing for giving into Khasinau and deciding to give him a chance, to give them both a chance and called him Daddy, even if only that once, was back.
Barnette watched the exchange between father and daughter silently. She sat back in her chair marveled as Kat slipped her hand into Jacks and nodded in acceptance. She would have never been able to believe it if she hadn't seen it with her own two eyes. Jack Bristow showed compassion, and acceptance and one could even say love, to the girl who'd fought so hard against him. She was his daughter yes, but he also knew how to melt the ice within her.
"Don't ever scare me like that again," Sydney half laughed as she hugged her sister.
"Are we done?" Kat asked looking at Barnette
"For today," she nodded. "But only under the condition that you're not going to shut everyone out when something difficult comes up."
Kat glanced quickly at both Sydney and Jack before answering. "I promise."
"Good," she stood and held out the pad of paper with Kat's drawings on it to her.
"No," she shook her head. "I don't need them, just throw them in the garbage, that's where they belong."
Barnette nodded and set it back on her desk. "I will see you tomorrow then. We'll work on your dreams and with any luck they will stop."
"Thanks," she nodded. "See you tomorrow," she smiled briefly as the three left the office.
~ ~ ~
She stood in the doorway watching as he packed his suitcase. Carefully folded ties joined pressed shirts and pants in a methodical manner. Feeling someone else in the room, he looked up and noticed her in the doorway. "Hi."
"You're going away?" she asked.
"Yes," Jack nodded. "Just for a few days, on business. I was going to talk to you about it when you woke up. You're going to stay with Sydney until I get back. Are you feeling better" After their meeting with Barnette, Jack had taken the rest of the day off and given Kat a sleeping pill as soon as they got home, to help her sleep deeper.
Kat nodded and held out a plate to him containing a grilled cheese sandwich. "I thought you might be hungry. I didn't burn it at all this time," she said proudly.
He near laughed remembering the last time she'd made a grilled cheese sandwich. They were both rewarded with a ruined frying pan and the knowledge that the smoke detectors were in full working order. "Thanks," he took the plate and sat on the edge of the bed taking a bit of the sandwich before offering her the other half.
Kat sat on his bed and took the other half of the sandwich. "How long are you going for?"
"Four or five days," he answered. "A week at most. You're still working on those codes?" he asked pointing at the file she held.
"Yeah, I just found something," she smiled and opened the folder. "The reason why no one can decode it is because they've never seen it before." She passed Jack an old drawing she'd made as a child. "I made this when I was in first grade, it was in that box of pictures that Irina sent. See this here?" she pointed out some markings on the bottom right corner that resembled some sort of ancient writings. "It means Katy." She saw the confused look on Jack's face. "It used to drive my teachers nuts. I signed everything like this up until like second grade." She pulled out one of the pages of scrambled letters and numbers and pointed to the tiny markings on the bottom right hand corner, they were an exact match. "I wrote this code. I have no idea what it says but I know I wrote it."
"You're sure?" he asked.
"Yeah," she nodded. "I mean I don't even know if Alexander Khasinau knew what it said, but its mine. I just don't know what it says yet. I just have to work at it harder I guess."
"Don't worry about it."
She nodded and picked up a book lying beside his suitcase. "I never pegged you for a comedy fan," she said holding up Shakespear's Taming of the Shrew.
"Hamlet's my favorite, but I enjoy the comedies as well," Jack turned to face her. "What about you? What's your favorite book?"
"Alice in Wonderland and A Little Princess," she admitted with a smile. "But really Les Miserables."
"Victor Hugo?"
She nodded. "But the French text, the translation isn't as good. Anna Karenina too, I used to have them, in New York, but apparently The Covenant thought them to be of value," she said bitterly.
They sat in silence for a few minutes eating their half of the sandwich. "I am sorry," she said softly looking at Jack. "For leaving last night, I just didn't know what else to do. I just couldn't stay, I was afraid that I would hurt you."
"Come to me, or Sydney," he said softly. "Don't let it get as bad as it did and we'll figure it out."
"Okay," she nodded. "Could you do something for me?" She asked hesitantly.
"What is it?" Jack asked.
"I know you said it couldn't happen but...."
"Yes?"
"Could you hide all the knives? All the sharp ones, just some place I won't find them?"
Jack nodded, "I can do that."
"Thanks," she was relieved.
"I spoke with Director Devlin a little while ago, he's cleared you to see Arvin Sloane."
She looked at him surprise clearly evident on her face. "But I thought you said no."
"I did, but it's not really my decision to make. If its what you really want than my opinion is irrelevant. There are some conditions however." Jack set the papers with the codes he'd been holding back in the file folder and set it to the side. "Under no circumstances are you to be left alone with him and you are forbidden to have any kind of physical contact. I will be with you at all times and I will end it at any time if I feel that your safety, physical or emotional is threatened. You are not to talk about Joshua and any questions that I feel are inappropriate will be stopped. Do you understand?"
"Yes," she nodded. "Thank you, this means a lot to me. I really need this, I need answers. I need to know why he did it. Why he trained me and kept me away from Sydney...... and you."
"Arvin Sloane is not a man easily influenced. Just because you want to know, doesn't mean he's going to tell you."
"I know," she managed a half smile. "But I have to at least try, I haven't got anything to lose right?"
He hoped she was right.
Thank you everyone for all the great replies. I'm glad your enjoying, keep 'em up lol. I'm updating all my PM lists so if you want to be notified when I post new chapters just let me know E
Redemption
Chapter Forty One
Dr. Barnette carefully flipped through the pad of drawings Jack had given her. Finally she set them down and took off her glasses looking up and Jack and Sydney's expectant faces. "You were right to bring them to me."
"So what are they, I mean what do they mean?" Sydney asked.
"I couldn't say," she shook her head.
"She hasn't given you any idea from your sessions?"
"I wouldn't know," Dr. Barnette said. "She won't talk to me."
"What?" Sydney was confused. "She said your sessions were going well, she said she thought she was making real progress. She lied?"
Barnette nodded in confirmation.
"But why?"
"When doesn't your sister lie," Jack stood and studied a framed piece of art on the adjacent wall. "Every word out of her mouth is a falsification of the truth. Anything from what she remembers about Moscow to what she did or more often did not eat for breakfast. She won't trust anyone. I'd even consider giving her a lie detector test if I didn't think she could lie her way through to a passing grade."
"I didn't realize things were so bad, why didn't you tell me?"
"Your concentration was needed elsewhere."
"She's my sister-"
"I didn't think it would have made a difference."
"What's important right now is finding out where all this is coming from," Barnette pointed to the drawing of Jack and Sydney. "I met with Kat last Tuesday, the day after you returned from Moscow. During that meeting she was willing to talk to me. I talked with her for an hour and a half but the next day she wouldn't talk at all. Not a word. Now something must have happened between Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning to set this off. Agent Bristow do you have any idea of what that could be?"
Jack nodded and explained to Sydney and Barnette about the nightmare Kat had experienced Tuesday night. She hadn't said much about it, only that in the dream she had stabbed and killed both Sydney and Jack. He also revealed her secret regarding the continuing nightmares.
"I never knew," Sydney shook her head sadly. "She lived in my house for four months and I never knew, how could I not?"
"Your sister is very skilled at deception," Barnette adjusted her glasses. "In some ways far better than either of your abilities. Not necessarily because she wants to be, but because she has to be. She's been learning how to lie, to deceive and how to cover things up since she was a child. It was a means of survival. In her case, she's most likely developed coping mechanisms for her nightmares that allow her to hide them from everyone. Things like waking up in the middle before she screams, keeping her mouth closed so you can't hear her crying at night. Making herself realize it's a nightmare and waking up before it gets too bad, even pretending to sleep when other people are there because she's afraid of having one, afraid of people knowing the truth. Obviously there are times when she can't stop them and you hear her but for the majority of the time she's learned how to hide them."
"She shouldn't have to," Sydney sighed.
"No she shouldn't," Barnette slipped her glasses off. "Sydney, though your sister appears very grown up and in most aspects she is. She's far beyond her years experienced more than one should have to but in other aspects she's still very much a child. She missed out on a lot of experiences, a lot of stages of development. She's never learnt to trust adults or really anyone in general. Just about every single one she had the potential to get close to betrayed her in some way or another and she doesn't want to get hurt."
Jack stared out the window as he listened to Barnette speak and he realized he'd severely underestimated his daughter. He knew that he had to give her something she desperately wanted even if the very thought of it unnerved him. "What about Agent Weiss?" he asked turned back to the doctor and Sydney.
"Agent Weiss is different," Barnette began. "He's like her security blanket, the one person she can go to for anything. She trusts him with her life. My guess is that he sees more of the real side of her than anyone else does. She's not afraid of him because he doesn't have the potential to hurt her the way that either of you do-"She was interrupted by a knock on the door and a moment later Kat walked in surprised to find Jack and Sydney there.
"Katy," Sydney stood up to give her a hug.
"What are you doing here?" she stepped back avoiding her sisters arms.
"Well there's some things we need to discuss," Sydney explained. "We thought doing it here with Dr. Barnette would be a good idea."
"Okay," she said slowly and lowered herself into Jack's vacated chair. "What did someone die?" she asked judging the reaction on their faces.
Barnette flipped the pad of paper over to show her. "We want to talk about your drawings."
"You went through my stuff?" She said accusingly at Jack and stood up facing him.
"You left it on your desk," he explained calmly. "It wasn't hidden."
"It doesn't matter, it wasn't your property!"
"Katy please," Sydney stood and reached for her once more but the younger girl backed out of her reach. "We just need to know what's going on with you."
"I'm fine!"
"No," she shook her head. "You're not."
"Yes I am."
"No, you're not. Please just let us help you."
"Because," she cried exasperated.
"Because why?"
"Because, I don't want to hurt you," she whispered.
"You're worried that you might hurt them because of your dreams?" Barnette asked.
She didn't need to answer.
"Katy, that's ridiculous," Sydney sighed. "They're just dreams, they don't mean anything. You could never hurt me or dad or anyone."
"Don't be naïve," she scoffed. "You've seen me, you know what I am capable of. I shot a man; I killed him.
"Katarina, you did what you had to do. If you hadn't shot Viktor Melnikov, he would have killed her." Jack's voice was firm. "You had to make a choice a bad choice but a choice none the less and you made the right decision.
"Who are we talking about?" Barnette interrupted and was surprised to see three worried sets of eyes looking at her.
"It was me," Sydney lied. "Melnikov was about to stab me but Katy shot him first." She looked over at her sister wondering if her hatred for their mother would cause her to say something else. But thankfully it didn't and the secret of Irina's involvement in her daughters rescue was kept.
"I see," Barnette nodded slowly. "Kat killing someone in self defense is a far cry from what your drawings predict of pre-mediated murder. There is a clear line of division that I do not believe you could cross."
Kat turned to Barnette a look of sheer distaste, evident on her face. "Forgive me Dr. Barnette but sitting in your office for an hour, a few times a week does not give you the right to judge my actions, or lack there of. I don't even know what I am capable of anymore-"
"Enough." Jack interrupted and crossed his arms over his chest looking down at Kat. "Katarina, you once told me that there were exactly four people in the world have you had any amount of trust in." He waited for her acknowledgement before continuing. "Two of those four people included Sydney and myself, has that assessment changed at all?"
Slowly Kat shook her head; her eyes still full of unshed tears.
"Then live up to your judgement," he spoke quietly. "Trust that we will not allow you to be put in the position."
"I can't," she whispered shaking her head. "I can't risk it."
"Yes you can."
"I can't," she shook her head. "I can't risk loosing you, people die around me, people close to me—they die."
"If you don't at least try, then you've already lost." He held out his hand to her. She eyed it and then him and back to his hand, judging if she could take the risk. She did and Jack knew that she was back. The little girl who'd clung to him so tightly the week before, apologizing for giving into Khasinau and deciding to give him a chance, to give them both a chance and called him Daddy, even if only that once, was back.
Barnette watched the exchange between father and daughter silently. She sat back in her chair marveled as Kat slipped her hand into Jacks and nodded in acceptance. She would have never been able to believe it if she hadn't seen it with her own two eyes. Jack Bristow showed compassion, and acceptance and one could even say love, to the girl who'd fought so hard against him. She was his daughter yes, but he also knew how to melt the ice within her.
"Don't ever scare me like that again," Sydney half laughed as she hugged her sister.
"Are we done?" Kat asked looking at Barnette
"For today," she nodded. "But only under the condition that you're not going to shut everyone out when something difficult comes up."
Kat glanced quickly at both Sydney and Jack before answering. "I promise."
"Good," she stood and held out the pad of paper with Kat's drawings on it to her.
"No," she shook her head. "I don't need them, just throw them in the garbage, that's where they belong."
Barnette nodded and set it back on her desk. "I will see you tomorrow then. We'll work on your dreams and with any luck they will stop."
"Thanks," she nodded. "See you tomorrow," she smiled briefly as the three left the office.
~ ~ ~
She stood in the doorway watching as he packed his suitcase. Carefully folded ties joined pressed shirts and pants in a methodical manner. Feeling someone else in the room, he looked up and noticed her in the doorway. "Hi."
"You're going away?" she asked.
"Yes," Jack nodded. "Just for a few days, on business. I was going to talk to you about it when you woke up. You're going to stay with Sydney until I get back. Are you feeling better" After their meeting with Barnette, Jack had taken the rest of the day off and given Kat a sleeping pill as soon as they got home, to help her sleep deeper.
Kat nodded and held out a plate to him containing a grilled cheese sandwich. "I thought you might be hungry. I didn't burn it at all this time," she said proudly.
He near laughed remembering the last time she'd made a grilled cheese sandwich. They were both rewarded with a ruined frying pan and the knowledge that the smoke detectors were in full working order. "Thanks," he took the plate and sat on the edge of the bed taking a bit of the sandwich before offering her the other half.
Kat sat on his bed and took the other half of the sandwich. "How long are you going for?"
"Four or five days," he answered. "A week at most. You're still working on those codes?" he asked pointing at the file she held.
"Yeah, I just found something," she smiled and opened the folder. "The reason why no one can decode it is because they've never seen it before." She passed Jack an old drawing she'd made as a child. "I made this when I was in first grade, it was in that box of pictures that Irina sent. See this here?" she pointed out some markings on the bottom right corner that resembled some sort of ancient writings. "It means Katy." She saw the confused look on Jack's face. "It used to drive my teachers nuts. I signed everything like this up until like second grade." She pulled out one of the pages of scrambled letters and numbers and pointed to the tiny markings on the bottom right hand corner, they were an exact match. "I wrote this code. I have no idea what it says but I know I wrote it."
"You're sure?" he asked.
"Yeah," she nodded. "I mean I don't even know if Alexander Khasinau knew what it said, but its mine. I just don't know what it says yet. I just have to work at it harder I guess."
"Don't worry about it."
She nodded and picked up a book lying beside his suitcase. "I never pegged you for a comedy fan," she said holding up Shakespear's Taming of the Shrew.
"Hamlet's my favorite, but I enjoy the comedies as well," Jack turned to face her. "What about you? What's your favorite book?"
"Alice in Wonderland and A Little Princess," she admitted with a smile. "But really Les Miserables."
"Victor Hugo?"
She nodded. "But the French text, the translation isn't as good. Anna Karenina too, I used to have them, in New York, but apparently The Covenant thought them to be of value," she said bitterly.
They sat in silence for a few minutes eating their half of the sandwich. "I am sorry," she said softly looking at Jack. "For leaving last night, I just didn't know what else to do. I just couldn't stay, I was afraid that I would hurt you."
"Come to me, or Sydney," he said softly. "Don't let it get as bad as it did and we'll figure it out."
"Okay," she nodded. "Could you do something for me?" She asked hesitantly.
"What is it?" Jack asked.
"I know you said it couldn't happen but...."
"Yes?"
"Could you hide all the knives? All the sharp ones, just some place I won't find them?"
Jack nodded, "I can do that."
"Thanks," she was relieved.
"I spoke with Director Devlin a little while ago, he's cleared you to see Arvin Sloane."
She looked at him surprise clearly evident on her face. "But I thought you said no."
"I did, but it's not really my decision to make. If its what you really want than my opinion is irrelevant. There are some conditions however." Jack set the papers with the codes he'd been holding back in the file folder and set it to the side. "Under no circumstances are you to be left alone with him and you are forbidden to have any kind of physical contact. I will be with you at all times and I will end it at any time if I feel that your safety, physical or emotional is threatened. You are not to talk about Joshua and any questions that I feel are inappropriate will be stopped. Do you understand?"
"Yes," she nodded. "Thank you, this means a lot to me. I really need this, I need answers. I need to know why he did it. Why he trained me and kept me away from Sydney...... and you."
"Arvin Sloane is not a man easily influenced. Just because you want to know, doesn't mean he's going to tell you."
"I know," she managed a half smile. "But I have to at least try, I haven't got anything to lose right?"
He hoped she was right.