Redemption
Chapter Forty Six
Irina had a firm grip on her daughter as she somewhat forcefully pushed her down the hallway. Kat struggled trying to get away from her but it was useless, the older woman was much stronger and bigger than she was.
"Why did you do that?" Kat shouted at Irina.
Ignoring her daughters shouting Irina guided her down the stairs and into the dining room. Before she knew it Kat was sitting on a chair, her hands and feet cuffed to the sturdy wood.
"They were tranq darts. Your sister and friends will be awake in twenty minutes," Irina explained. "Now stop struggling, you'll bruise your wrists."
Kat pulled against the handcuffs for a few more seconds before residing to the fact that she wasn't going to be getting out of them any time soon. She watched Irina pull the .48 out of her waistband. "What, are you going to shoot me too? That's what you did the first time you saw Sydney?"
"No," Irina said coldly, fully aware of the implications Kat was making. She set the gun on the table and then grabbed a chair and flipped it around backwards. She straddled the chair and rested her arms and chin on the back. "When you have a gun on someone, you had better be fully prepared to use it, otherwise you've only succeeded in killing yourself. Alright now Katarina, let's have a little chat."
"F*** off," Kat rolled her eyes and looked past Irina at an imaginary spot on the wall. "I don't have anything to say to you."
"Watch your language young lady," Irina scolded. "I certainly never taught you to speak like that."
"No you didn't that's right," she said sarcastically. "You left me with three bullet holes in my stomach, while you went around the world and did who knows what with who knows who, because I was the dark dirty little secret that would have infringed on all your plans. Which were what exactly? Taking over the world, murdering CIA Agents, killing Vaughn's father—"
"That's enough," Irina cut her off and Kat could practically see her anger rising as the vein in her forehead showed its colors. "We are not here to discuss my actions. We're here to talk about you."
"Well I don't want to, so what are you going to do send me to my room without supper?" Kat glanced at Irina's tight fists, her knuckles were turning white in an attempt to control her anger and Kat knew she had her exactly where she wanted. "Do you know what it's like to go to bed without supper?" she asked casually.
"Stop."
"Because I do," she continued. "When I was twelve, I was in this foster home, the best one I'd been in, in a long time; enough food to eat, clean sheets, warm blankets. Well at least that's what I thought. I'd been there about a week when it happened. One of the other kids broke a window and I was the new kid so of course they blamed it on me. Only problem is I wouldn't fess up so I got sent to my room without my supper. The next day, I still denied it. You see I had this false idea that my foster parents would actually believe me over their biological children. They didn't. I didn't eat for four days because I wouldn't confess to something I didn't do. Four days, no breakfast, no lunch and no dinner, and then I finally did. I lied and told them I broke the window. I didn't get food though, I got moved to a new foster home. And that's where it happened, where I got—" Kat stopped suddenly realizing the tears were running down her face, she'd said too much.
"Where you got what?" Irina asked softly. Her hands reached out framing Kat's face and she thumbed away her tears.
"Don't talk to me," she whispered.
"Where you got pregnant?"
"I said don't talk to me, you don't know anything," Kat screamed at her. "You leave him out of this, you leave Joshua out of this. He hasn't done anything wrong, he's just a child, he's just a baby-"
Irina dropped her hands. The implications of her daughter's words, the words she hadn't meant to stay rang in her ears. She didn't press her for more information. Asking for more would destroy everything she'd been trying to accomplish. Irina tucked a stray lock of hair behind her daughter's ear as she waited for Kat to regain her composure. When she looked up again, her eyes were clear and she was cool.
"What is it that you want? Why are you doing this to me?"
"Why are you here?" Irina asked. "Why are you continuing this futile search for something you don't know anything about."
"Don't talk to me," Kat said coldly. "I don't intend to give you any information and betray the CIA, betray my country."
"You don't work for the CIA," she said through clenched teeth.
"My loyalty remains with my country."
"Stop looking for the scroll Katarina," Irina sighed. "I don't want you involved in this. I don't want you involved in this life-"
"Get over yourself," she scoffed. "I've been involved in this life from the day I was born. You put me in this life mother, you! The only break I had was your twelve-year hiatus. You could have actually done something good for a change and left me with my father, but no then you would have revealed your little secret."
"I did it to protect you." Irina stood and paced the floor in front of Kat's chair. "If the KGB found out you were alive, they would have killed you. For the first two years you were safe. We were in hiding and then Alexander found us. I had to tell him that he was your father, if he knew that Jack was your father—I feared his reaction. He blackmailed me Katy. We pretended Petrov was your father, it was safer. He wanted to keep an eye on us, to keep an eye on me and ensure that I wouldn't attempt to return to Jack. He used Jack and Sydney's lives as leverage against yours and my compliance with his wishes."
Kat watched Irina walk the floor attempting to judge for herself whether or not she was telling the truth.
"Somehow the KGB found out you existed and where we were. They sent orders. Alexander was to bring you and I back to Russia. How did they find out is the question. I now know it was a set up. Alexander accused Petrov of leaking the information. He admitted it. Alexander killed his brother."
"Or so you thought."
"Yes." Irina turned the chair around and sat back down leaning forwards in her seat. "It was a set up to make me believe that Alexander actually cared about you. Alexander leaked the information himself. You spent a year in Russia in his care and that was exactly what he wanted. I was constantly sent on missions, I was lucky if I saw you once a month."
"I don't believe you," Kat shook her head.
"Something happened and I told Alexander that it was the last one. I came back early, he wasn't expecting me, and I found you."
"Stop," there was a fearful quiver in her voice.
"You wouldn't look at me. There was blood on your hands."
"I don't want to hear this."
"You were four-years-old Katarina and there was blood on your hands, and your shoes, you wouldn't look at me there was something wrong with you."
"Stop it!"
"Why was there blood on your hands, what do you remember?"
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" Kat screamed. "I don't know, I don't remember."
"That's when I realized that he was training you," Irina said calmly. That he wanted you in Russia to train you. Whether or not you were his daughter didn't matter. He knew you were special. He was exploiting you for his own benefit." Irina looked over at her daughter unsure of whether or not she was actually remembering anything or if she just didn't want to hear it. "His guards took me away, I didn't see you for three days. When I did, it was your birthday-"
"The night we left Russia. The night Alex showed me The Contessa-"
"That's right," Irina fell to her knees in front of her daughter a smile on her face. "You remember Alexander, You remember Papa, you remember Russia and living here in this very house, The Contessa. You remember being Katarina. That night I took you and we left Russia. We went to New York and Katy we were happy, you loved New York, you stopped having bad dreams that you wouldn't talk about and then Alexander found us again."
"You left me."
"Yes I did," Irina nodded blinking tears from her eyes. "Alexander found me. He was training you for the KGB, a variation of project Christmas. They wanted you back, they would do anything to get you back." Irina wiped the tears from her face. "He came to me at the store and then you showed up. They just reacted when they shot you, you weren't supposed to be there. It was an accident. Your blood was all over me and he pulled me out of the store, the ambulance was almost there. I made a deal with him. Regardless of whether you lived or died, he would report to the KGB that you were dead and I would go with him, work with him. If I didn't he would have turned you over to the KGB and they would have used you. I couldn't allowed that to happen, you were so young, I knew what would happen."
"I hate you."
"Listen to me Katarina," Irina begged. "Listen to what I am telling you. I worked with him, and he provided me with false information on your living situation. Our deal was that I worked with him and once you turned eighteen, he would extract you. It was the only way I could keep you safe. When Sydney found me, it was clear that he was making plans to extract you early. You were barely sixteen; I couldn't allow that to happen so I killed him. I stayed away to keep you safe, to keep you out of this life. If I told Jack and Sydney about you, it would have gotten back to the people who knew you ever existed, ex-KGB and to my enemies and you never would have been safe."
"It didn't work."
Irina shook her head. "I was in hiding when The Covenant found out about you. I don't know how, but they did."
"And that makes it okay?" Kat's voice began to rise. "Do you have any idea what they did to me. I was six years old when it started. I had a baby when I was thirteen. Thirteen!"
"I did what I had to do," Irina stood and sat back down on the chair. "Yes I regret the outcome and I would kill anyone who harmed you. But you are alive now. I don't regret that. Everything I did was for your protection."
"Sometimes I'd rather I was dead."
"No," Irina said firmly. "But if you continue in this search, you are only placing yourself in even more danger. You could end up dead and that is not an option. Stop looking."
"I can't."
"You have to."
"Don't you understand," Kat began struggling against the handcuffs again. "This is never going to end, not until I find it. I'm the only one who should know where it is and I can't remember. They aren't going to leave me alone until I find it, the Covenant, Khasinau, The CIA, you!"
"Stop!" Irina was on her feet and scared Kat suddenly grabbing her chair and pushing it backwards slamming into the table. "Stop looking!" Seeing the fear in her daughters eyes, Irina walked away to calm herself. Kat blinked the tears from her eyes and struggled to regain control of her breathing barely able to believe that Irina had come so close to hitting her. A few moments later Irina returned. "I'm sorry I don't want to scare you but this is serious. The scroll is not here, I don't know where it is but if you continue looking for it, you are putting yourself and those around you in grave danger. The consequences would be severe. You will not aid the CIA any further."
"You know something about the scroll don't you," Kat whispered. "That's why you don't want me to find it."
Irina pulled the chair closer to her daughter and sat down. Her hands moved to Kat's face threading her fingers through her hair several times. "You are everything I hoped you be," she said softly. "Strong, beautiful, independent, caring, courageous, determined, stubborn, loyal, wonderful and amazing."
Kat watched her carefully seeing the tears slip down Irina's cheeks.
"I remember every single detail about the first time I held you in my arms. You were such a good baby and always so quiet. I looked into your eyes and I knew I was in love. You were mine, all mine." Irina smoothed Kat's hair tucking it behind her ears. "I have to go, there isn't much time." Her hands framed Kat's face and she kissed her daughter's forehead before resting hers against it. "I love you. That was never a lie. My love for you, for your sister, and your father has always been true." Irina stood and leaned down and kissed Kat's forehead once more. "Please listen to what I said Katarina. I love you sweetheart, remember how much I've always loved you."
And then she was gone with the grace and mysteriousness that was Irina Derevko and left her daughter scared and alone struggling separate reality and memories.
Chapter Forty Six
Irina had a firm grip on her daughter as she somewhat forcefully pushed her down the hallway. Kat struggled trying to get away from her but it was useless, the older woman was much stronger and bigger than she was.
"Why did you do that?" Kat shouted at Irina.
Ignoring her daughters shouting Irina guided her down the stairs and into the dining room. Before she knew it Kat was sitting on a chair, her hands and feet cuffed to the sturdy wood.
"They were tranq darts. Your sister and friends will be awake in twenty minutes," Irina explained. "Now stop struggling, you'll bruise your wrists."
Kat pulled against the handcuffs for a few more seconds before residing to the fact that she wasn't going to be getting out of them any time soon. She watched Irina pull the .48 out of her waistband. "What, are you going to shoot me too? That's what you did the first time you saw Sydney?"
"No," Irina said coldly, fully aware of the implications Kat was making. She set the gun on the table and then grabbed a chair and flipped it around backwards. She straddled the chair and rested her arms and chin on the back. "When you have a gun on someone, you had better be fully prepared to use it, otherwise you've only succeeded in killing yourself. Alright now Katarina, let's have a little chat."
"F*** off," Kat rolled her eyes and looked past Irina at an imaginary spot on the wall. "I don't have anything to say to you."
"Watch your language young lady," Irina scolded. "I certainly never taught you to speak like that."
"No you didn't that's right," she said sarcastically. "You left me with three bullet holes in my stomach, while you went around the world and did who knows what with who knows who, because I was the dark dirty little secret that would have infringed on all your plans. Which were what exactly? Taking over the world, murdering CIA Agents, killing Vaughn's father—"
"That's enough," Irina cut her off and Kat could practically see her anger rising as the vein in her forehead showed its colors. "We are not here to discuss my actions. We're here to talk about you."
"Well I don't want to, so what are you going to do send me to my room without supper?" Kat glanced at Irina's tight fists, her knuckles were turning white in an attempt to control her anger and Kat knew she had her exactly where she wanted. "Do you know what it's like to go to bed without supper?" she asked casually.
"Stop."
"Because I do," she continued. "When I was twelve, I was in this foster home, the best one I'd been in, in a long time; enough food to eat, clean sheets, warm blankets. Well at least that's what I thought. I'd been there about a week when it happened. One of the other kids broke a window and I was the new kid so of course they blamed it on me. Only problem is I wouldn't fess up so I got sent to my room without my supper. The next day, I still denied it. You see I had this false idea that my foster parents would actually believe me over their biological children. They didn't. I didn't eat for four days because I wouldn't confess to something I didn't do. Four days, no breakfast, no lunch and no dinner, and then I finally did. I lied and told them I broke the window. I didn't get food though, I got moved to a new foster home. And that's where it happened, where I got—" Kat stopped suddenly realizing the tears were running down her face, she'd said too much.
"Where you got what?" Irina asked softly. Her hands reached out framing Kat's face and she thumbed away her tears.
"Don't talk to me," she whispered.
"Where you got pregnant?"
"I said don't talk to me, you don't know anything," Kat screamed at her. "You leave him out of this, you leave Joshua out of this. He hasn't done anything wrong, he's just a child, he's just a baby-"
Irina dropped her hands. The implications of her daughter's words, the words she hadn't meant to stay rang in her ears. She didn't press her for more information. Asking for more would destroy everything she'd been trying to accomplish. Irina tucked a stray lock of hair behind her daughter's ear as she waited for Kat to regain her composure. When she looked up again, her eyes were clear and she was cool.
"What is it that you want? Why are you doing this to me?"
"Why are you here?" Irina asked. "Why are you continuing this futile search for something you don't know anything about."
"Don't talk to me," Kat said coldly. "I don't intend to give you any information and betray the CIA, betray my country."
"You don't work for the CIA," she said through clenched teeth.
"My loyalty remains with my country."
"Stop looking for the scroll Katarina," Irina sighed. "I don't want you involved in this. I don't want you involved in this life-"
"Get over yourself," she scoffed. "I've been involved in this life from the day I was born. You put me in this life mother, you! The only break I had was your twelve-year hiatus. You could have actually done something good for a change and left me with my father, but no then you would have revealed your little secret."
"I did it to protect you." Irina stood and paced the floor in front of Kat's chair. "If the KGB found out you were alive, they would have killed you. For the first two years you were safe. We were in hiding and then Alexander found us. I had to tell him that he was your father, if he knew that Jack was your father—I feared his reaction. He blackmailed me Katy. We pretended Petrov was your father, it was safer. He wanted to keep an eye on us, to keep an eye on me and ensure that I wouldn't attempt to return to Jack. He used Jack and Sydney's lives as leverage against yours and my compliance with his wishes."
Kat watched Irina walk the floor attempting to judge for herself whether or not she was telling the truth.
"Somehow the KGB found out you existed and where we were. They sent orders. Alexander was to bring you and I back to Russia. How did they find out is the question. I now know it was a set up. Alexander accused Petrov of leaking the information. He admitted it. Alexander killed his brother."
"Or so you thought."
"Yes." Irina turned the chair around and sat back down leaning forwards in her seat. "It was a set up to make me believe that Alexander actually cared about you. Alexander leaked the information himself. You spent a year in Russia in his care and that was exactly what he wanted. I was constantly sent on missions, I was lucky if I saw you once a month."
"I don't believe you," Kat shook her head.
"Something happened and I told Alexander that it was the last one. I came back early, he wasn't expecting me, and I found you."
"Stop," there was a fearful quiver in her voice.
"You wouldn't look at me. There was blood on your hands."
"I don't want to hear this."
"You were four-years-old Katarina and there was blood on your hands, and your shoes, you wouldn't look at me there was something wrong with you."
"Stop it!"
"Why was there blood on your hands, what do you remember?"
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" Kat screamed. "I don't know, I don't remember."
"That's when I realized that he was training you," Irina said calmly. That he wanted you in Russia to train you. Whether or not you were his daughter didn't matter. He knew you were special. He was exploiting you for his own benefit." Irina looked over at her daughter unsure of whether or not she was actually remembering anything or if she just didn't want to hear it. "His guards took me away, I didn't see you for three days. When I did, it was your birthday-"
"The night we left Russia. The night Alex showed me The Contessa-"
"That's right," Irina fell to her knees in front of her daughter a smile on her face. "You remember Alexander, You remember Papa, you remember Russia and living here in this very house, The Contessa. You remember being Katarina. That night I took you and we left Russia. We went to New York and Katy we were happy, you loved New York, you stopped having bad dreams that you wouldn't talk about and then Alexander found us again."
"You left me."
"Yes I did," Irina nodded blinking tears from her eyes. "Alexander found me. He was training you for the KGB, a variation of project Christmas. They wanted you back, they would do anything to get you back." Irina wiped the tears from her face. "He came to me at the store and then you showed up. They just reacted when they shot you, you weren't supposed to be there. It was an accident. Your blood was all over me and he pulled me out of the store, the ambulance was almost there. I made a deal with him. Regardless of whether you lived or died, he would report to the KGB that you were dead and I would go with him, work with him. If I didn't he would have turned you over to the KGB and they would have used you. I couldn't allowed that to happen, you were so young, I knew what would happen."
"I hate you."
"Listen to me Katarina," Irina begged. "Listen to what I am telling you. I worked with him, and he provided me with false information on your living situation. Our deal was that I worked with him and once you turned eighteen, he would extract you. It was the only way I could keep you safe. When Sydney found me, it was clear that he was making plans to extract you early. You were barely sixteen; I couldn't allow that to happen so I killed him. I stayed away to keep you safe, to keep you out of this life. If I told Jack and Sydney about you, it would have gotten back to the people who knew you ever existed, ex-KGB and to my enemies and you never would have been safe."
"It didn't work."
Irina shook her head. "I was in hiding when The Covenant found out about you. I don't know how, but they did."
"And that makes it okay?" Kat's voice began to rise. "Do you have any idea what they did to me. I was six years old when it started. I had a baby when I was thirteen. Thirteen!"
"I did what I had to do," Irina stood and sat back down on the chair. "Yes I regret the outcome and I would kill anyone who harmed you. But you are alive now. I don't regret that. Everything I did was for your protection."
"Sometimes I'd rather I was dead."
"No," Irina said firmly. "But if you continue in this search, you are only placing yourself in even more danger. You could end up dead and that is not an option. Stop looking."
"I can't."
"You have to."
"Don't you understand," Kat began struggling against the handcuffs again. "This is never going to end, not until I find it. I'm the only one who should know where it is and I can't remember. They aren't going to leave me alone until I find it, the Covenant, Khasinau, The CIA, you!"
"Stop!" Irina was on her feet and scared Kat suddenly grabbing her chair and pushing it backwards slamming into the table. "Stop looking!" Seeing the fear in her daughters eyes, Irina walked away to calm herself. Kat blinked the tears from her eyes and struggled to regain control of her breathing barely able to believe that Irina had come so close to hitting her. A few moments later Irina returned. "I'm sorry I don't want to scare you but this is serious. The scroll is not here, I don't know where it is but if you continue looking for it, you are putting yourself and those around you in grave danger. The consequences would be severe. You will not aid the CIA any further."
"You know something about the scroll don't you," Kat whispered. "That's why you don't want me to find it."
Irina pulled the chair closer to her daughter and sat down. Her hands moved to Kat's face threading her fingers through her hair several times. "You are everything I hoped you be," she said softly. "Strong, beautiful, independent, caring, courageous, determined, stubborn, loyal, wonderful and amazing."
Kat watched her carefully seeing the tears slip down Irina's cheeks.
"I remember every single detail about the first time I held you in my arms. You were such a good baby and always so quiet. I looked into your eyes and I knew I was in love. You were mine, all mine." Irina smoothed Kat's hair tucking it behind her ears. "I have to go, there isn't much time." Her hands framed Kat's face and she kissed her daughter's forehead before resting hers against it. "I love you. That was never a lie. My love for you, for your sister, and your father has always been true." Irina stood and leaned down and kissed Kat's forehead once more. "Please listen to what I said Katarina. I love you sweetheart, remember how much I've always loved you."
And then she was gone with the grace and mysteriousness that was Irina Derevko and left her daughter scared and alone struggling separate reality and memories.