Disclaimer : I only own Malika, Jane and Cynthia…

Chapter 14

December 1994

Malika couldn't help the scowl that appeared on her face at the sight of the woman standing before her. She acknowledged her with a slight nod of her head and a cool 'Cynthia'.

The other woman nodded back, "Malika, it's been a long time." Cynthia's voice was equally cool.

"What are you doing here?"

"I want to help, what other reason could I be here?"

"Somehow, I don't believe you." Malika's voice was uncharacteristically harsh as she spoke with Cynthia, but she didn't care. Malika had never been one to easily dislike a person, but she couldn't help hating Cynthia with every fibre of her being.

Cynthia sighed frustrated, "Look, if this is about what happened in the past, it's behind us. People make mistakes and I was young."

Malika wasn't impressed but didn't say anything. After an uncomfortable silence, Cynthia tried again.

"If you want to succeed with this, you're going to need people in the right places. I'm working pretty close with some of Umbridge's trustees, I could hand you information you will need."

"Why would you do this?" Malika's voice sounded incredulous.

"I regret what I did, Malika." That was indeed the reason, although Cynthia had never thought she would ever admit it, and definitely not to Malika. After all, Cynthia had never been able to stand her and she had always partially blamed Malika for what happened, although she knew that wasn't fair.

The ironical part about this was, although both women would never admit it, if they even realised it, the main reason why they had started hating each other, was because they were jealous of each other back then.

Malika nodded. "Alright, then. I'll make sure to let you know when our next meeting will be. We will then see how exactly we are going to organize this."

Cynthia nodded and left quickly, Malika sighed inwardly while she watched the other woman leave. A moment later, Kingsley appeared next to her. "Who was that?"

Malika shook her head, before quietly answering, "Long story, let's go."

December 1976 (Marauders 7th year)

The Yule Ball had been going on for a few hours and things were going smoothly.

James and Lily had been dancing together almost non-stop and seemed to really enjoy each other's company, much to their friends' surprise (Sirius had predicted they wouldn't last an hour without an argument).

Peter was off dancing with his Huffelpuff date, his friends hadn't seen him since they had arrived at the Ball.

Remus and Sirius had taken turns at dancing with Malika without one of them having reason to feel jealous. Everything was going great, that is, until now.

Sirius had been dancing with Malika when a slow song started. It was Remus' turn now, but Sirius didn't really feel like letting Malika go, since this was the perfect chance to be close to her. After a moment, however, Remus appeared beside them, tapping Sirius on his shoulder. "I think it's my turn." Reluctantly, Sirius let go of Malika, handed her over to his friend and seated himself at their table.

The house tables had been replaced by little tables near the walls, leaving a large space to dance in the middle of the Great Hall. At the start of the Ball, the Marauders had claimed a table with excellent view over the dance floor and near the larger table with snacks and punch.

Now, Sirius was sitting there alone, watching Remus and Malika dancing close together. A pang of jealousy went through him while he was watching them and he was thinking by himself why it was necessary for them to dance so closely. Sirius was just thinking about intervening when a pretty blond girl approached him and shyly asked him to dance. He reluctantly agreed, thinking everything was better than watching Malika dancing so intimately with Remus.

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Remus felt like he had never been this happy in his entire life, dancing with Malika like this was a dream coming true. He had pulled her close to him and to his greatest joy she didn't object. She had laid her head on his shoulder, it seemed like she fitted perfectly against his body. He breathed in her scent deeply and let it intoxicate him even more, wishing they could stay like this forever.

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James and Lily had been dancing but when the first tones of the slow song had sounded through the Great Hall, James had stopped dancing and took Lily by the hand, guiding her outside. He didn't answer her questions about what he was up to, but only smiled mysteriously.

The whole evening had been fantastic and there was only one thing that could make it even more perfect, but James didn't want that to happen in the Great Hall, where everyone could see them. He needed a more private setting.

Once they had arrived outside, they resumed dancing on the sounds of the soft music that reached them even here. After a moment, Lily repeated her inquiry as to why he took her outside. Now James did answer.

"I wanted a more private place, where we could be alone."

"And why would you want that?"

"Because I don't want the whole school to see what I'm about to do." James whispered this, while looking intently in Lily's eyes.

"And what would that be?" Lily asked breathlessly.

James smiled and leaned in slowly, careful to make sure Lily was alright with what he wanted to do. To his joy, she didn't seem to object. A moment later, their lips met.

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Malika was happy, she really enjoyed herself this evening and her arrangement with the boys hadn't caused any problems, like she had feared it would. She was really glad she had accepted their offer, even though she had been a bit sceptic about it at first.

At this moment, Malika was dancing with Remus, she herself was surprised at how close they were dancing and what surprised her even more was the fact she didn't object.

Malika knew before she liked to be close to Remus, but she never gave in to that because she was afraid it might hurt Sirius if he saw them. Right now, though, Malika felt like she didn't really care what other people were thinking, even Sirius, she was enjoying herself too much to think about other people's feelings.

For a moment, Malika compared dancing with Remus to dancing with Sirius. She liked dancing with Sirius, because they had fun together, that had always been the main reason why she liked to be around Sirius, he was always fun to hang out with.

With Remus, though, it was different. No matter what they were doing or talking about, she always felt at ease with him, even dancing close together. Malika had never thought she could feel this comfortable while standing so close to a boy, but she felt like she could stay like this forever, in Remus' arms. It was simply perfect.

Malika felt her heartbeat quicken suddenly. She repeated her own thoughts a few times, trying to figure them out. Is this really what I think? Is this how I feel?

She carefully lifted her head from Remus' shoulder to look at him, he smiled at her as their eyes locked. Malika's heart did a little jumping thing and started beating even faster at the look in his eyes. There was so much love in them and she felt like she wanted nothing more than to return his feelings.

The song ended and Remus let go of Malika, took her hand and guided her to their table. Sirius appeared beside them almost immediately and asked Malika to dance, but she declined.

"I need to take a break, if you don't mind."

"Of course not." The three of them sat down and Malika scanned the crowd to see if she could find Lily. After a moment, she stood. "I'm going for some fresh air." Both boys almost simultaneously offered to accompany her, but she told them she wanted to be alone for a moment and they let her go.

Malika wandered outside of the Great Hall, through the Entrance Hall and onto the grounds, thinking back at what she had felt while she had been dancing with Remus. It really did feel wonderful. But could it be love? She needed to talk to Lily, if only she knew where her friend was.

Malika had arrived outside now, not really paying attention to her surroundings. That is, until she heard a voice calling her name. She turned quickly to find James and Lily sitting very close together on a bench standing against the wall near the entrance to the school, James arm draped across Lily's shoulder.

Malika approached her friends. "What are you two doing here? Shouldn't you be inside dancing?"

They smiled and James replied. "We wanted some alone time, away from the crowd."

"Oh, sorry, I'll leave you two then." Lily called her back before she could leave.

"No, stay. You seemed to be deep in thought. Is something bothering you?"

"No… I mean, not really." Lily looked sceptical to her friend and Malika sighed. "All right, I actually wanted to talk to you."

"I guess I better leave you then." James already stood. Malika smiled at him.

"Thanks James, you'll get her back in five minutes."

"All right, but I hold you to that."

Malika sat down on the bench, next to Lily.

"Did something happen?" Lily watched her friend with concern in her eyes.

Malika bit her lip for a moment, thinking about the question and the right answer to it.

"Nothing actually happened, but, well, something happened. All right, this doesn't make any sense, does it?"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Let's just say that, most of the time, I can follow your way of thinking, but now I'm completely lost."

"I thought so."

"Can you just explain to me what happened then? Or what didn't happen? Or let's just say, whatever you wanted to talk about."

Malika smiled and started explaining how she felt while dancing with Remus and the thoughts that had appeared in her mind. "…And now I'm wondering if this is what love feels like, or if it was just provoked by the moment and the atmosphere."

A silence fell between the girls, before Lily answered softly. "What you described to me does sound a lot like love Malika, but only you can actually make that decision. Let me just tell you that I've always thought there was something special between Remus and you and I think you two are really made for each other."

Malika again bit her lip in thought. Finally she said, "I think I need a little more time to figure this out and see if I really love him."

Lily gave a frustrated sigh. "Malika, you should really stop doing this. Love isn't something you have to think about all the time, you really have to stop this thinking and start listening to your heart."

"But I want to know for sure that I love him before I tell him Lily."

"I know, and I understand that, but listen to me. If you wait too long, you might lose him, because one day he'll be tired of waiting for you and move on."

Malika looked down at her hands, tears forming in her eyes. Lily sighed again and laid a comforting arm around her friend's shoulders. "I'm sorry Malika, I just don't want you to miss your chance. Please take my advice and don't wait until it's too late. Think about it." With that, Lily stood and left the other girl alone with her thoughts.

Malika stayed there for another half an hour, sitting on the bench and thinking about Lily's words. She knew her friend was right. But she also didn't want to go through another relationship that ended in such a disaster like the one with Sirius. She wanted to be sure about her feelings first this time.

When she finally returned to the Great Hall, she didn't really feel like dancing and partying anymore, so she announced to her friends that she was feeling tired and would return to Gryffindor Tower. Remus insisted to accompany her, claiming he was tired too (which was in fact true, but that wasn't the real reason) and dismissing her protests about her breaking up the fun for him. They returned to the tower in a comfortable silence.

When they had arrived there, however, neither of them wanted to leave the other to head for their dormitories, and so they sat down on the couch together. It was one of the only times where an awkward silence fell between them and neither of them knew what to say to the other. Remus was the first to speak.

"So, did you enjoy the Yule Ball?"

Malika smiled at him. "Yes, very much."

"Me too." Remus smiled back at her, feeling his heartbeat quicken once more when their eyes locked, like it had every time when they had danced together.

Another silence fell between them and Malika looked away again, staring in thought into the blazing fire before her.

"Are you all right? You seemed a bit distressed when you came back inside."

Malika turned back to Remus, who had now a concerned look in his eyes. "I had a conversation with Lily. She said some things I didn't want to hear, but I know I have to think about it anyway."

"You want to talk about it?"

Malika's eyes grew big and her 'no' sounded a little fiercer than she had wanted it to, she immediately cursed herself when Remus frowned and a hurt look appeared in his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I understand." Remus hesitated a moment and continued in a much quieter voice. "I suppose that means you were talking about me."

Malika couldn't help blushing and returned to staring into the fire.

After another long silence, Remus started speaking again, unknowingly saying the things Malika dreaded the most.

"Malika, there's something I want to talk about. I…Sirius and I have given you all the time to think. I have really tried to give you space and not push you into making a decision. But I don't know if I can take this much longer. I want you to be honest with me if you don't have feelings for me. This evening was wonderful, but I'm afraid I'm getting myself ready for a hard fall and I don't know if I can take that."

Malika returned her gaze to Remus and felt her heart almost breaking at the pain she saw momentarily flicker in his eyes. She took a deep breath before whispering, "I do have feelings for you, Remus, I just need a little more time, please be patient."

She saw his eyes widen at her words and smiled softly at him. He licked his lips nervously. "Malika, I…"

He fell silent again and they stared in each others eyes. Slowly, without really realizing it, they were leaning closer to each other until suddenly their lips touched into a soft, lingering kiss.

When they pulled back, Malika stood up quickly and repeated quietly, "A little more time, please." Then, before Remus had the chance to recover and think of something to say, she disappeared up the staircase, towards her dormitory.

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Remus stayed in the same spot for a long time after Malika had gone upstairs, staring into the fire and repeating what had just happened over and over again.

She said she has feelings for me.

He wanted to be elated about it, but that was a bit tempered by her 'a little more time'.

How much time? How long can I keep doing this?

And there still was that conversation she had had with Lily, it had definitely been about him. But what had they talked about exactly and what advise had Lily given her? Had Lily told her he wasn't good enough or had she tried to convince Malika to give him a chance? Remus didn't know which one of them would bother him the most.

Suddenly a different thought struck him. What if they know what I am? What if Lily told her she shouldn't put up with a Dark Creature like me?

After an hour or something, Remus decided this wasn't getting him anywhere. He went to his dormitory and crawled into bed, banning his conversation with Malika out of his mind for the moment. Another memory replaced it immediately, a memory of soft lips on his. It was this memory that followed him in his dreams, which were filled with sharing many more kisses with Malika and occasionally even more than that.

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