Harry Potter and the Unexpected Powers
Disclaimer: Everything you recognise still belongs to JK Rowling!!!
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Chapter 5
The Order of the Phoenix
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After his quick shower Harry quickly put on the clothes that had been provided for him. Obviously, the house elves thought that the uniform code didn't apply during the summer holidays, so Harry was now wearing a pair of blue jeans and a plain black T-Shirt.
Brushing his still damp black hair behind his ears quickly (over the past year and summer it had grown to just beyond his ears, which made it much more tameable), Harry grabbed his glasses and hurried back to the infirmary. Sirius and Remus smiled upon seeing him and together the three of them left for Dumbledore's office, though not after promising Madam Pomfrey that Harry would stop by for a last check-up the next morning.
Soon they were standing in front of the stone gargoyle which was guarding Dumbledore's office as always. Remus gave the password ("Milky Way!"), it jumped aside and let them step on to the moving staircase behind.
The heavy oak door at the top of the stairs was open and they could hear the chattering of many voices from inside the room. Harry entered Dumbledore's office after Sirius and Remus. The first thing he noticed was that the room had been enlarged. There was a long table in the centre of the room, only three seats (obviously theirs) were still vacant.
The second thing he noticed was that everyone in the room had stopped talking and was looking at him. Harry groaned inwardly and quickly slipped into his seat between Remus and Professor Snape. Both of them gave him an encouraging smile (though it was more a smirk in Snape's case), knowing fully well how much Harry hated being the centre of attention. Fortunately, Dumbledore took pity on Harry and cleared his throat loudly, making almost every person in the room jump and return to their previous conversations.
Harry looked around the room and noticed that he knew most of the people sitting around the table. There were Professors McGonagall (who gave him a small smile), Flitwick, Sprout, Sinistra, Vektor, Snape and Dumbledore, and Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Hagrid (who beamed at him), Mad-Eye-Moody (the real one), Arthur Weasley and his two oldest sons, Bill and Charlie (all three of whom nodded at him in greeting).
There were, however, two other people in the room. One of them, a short woman with grey hair and a grouchy expression on her face, sat right next to Professor Snape. With some amount of shock Harry recognised the old lady who had used to baby-sit him years before at the Dursleys'.
"Mrs. Figg?" he asked in complete disbelief.
The woman turned to him and smiled.
"Hello, Harry. It is good to see you."
Harry gaped at her.
"But.....what are you doing here?"
Mrs. Figg tutted impatiently.
"Honestly, boy, I thought you were more intelligent than that- obviously, I am part of the Order Council. I am a squib."
Harry gaped at her wordlessly.
"Shut your mouth," Mrs. Figg told him briskly, "You're looking stupid."
Harry's jaws clicked shut audibly, though he was still goggling at his one- time babysitter.
"You're a good actor, boy," Mrs. Figg remarked, eyeing him critically. "Dumbledore told me. Never suspected a thing."
Harry looked down at the table quickly, avoiding her piercing stare and scowling to himself defiantly.
"Aren't there more people in the Council than this?" he asked Remus to distract himself.
Remus nodded.
"Yes, Emmeline Vance, Elphias Doge, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Nymphadora Tonks are currently on missions. I am not quite sure about Dumbledore's brother Aberforth, I suspect that he is as well....."
A warm hand on his shoulder redirected Harry's thoughts to the meeting. Dumbledore had stepped up behind him and everyone had quieted down and was looking at the headmaster and Harry expectantly.
"Good evening, everybody. I have no doubt that you all know our young Mr. Potter here. Harry, this" (he pointed at the only person in the room whom Harry didn't know, a man with dark blond hair and brown eyes that looked to be in his mid-thirties like Sirius, Remus and Professor Snape, though decidedly more ragged) "is Mundungus Fletcher. He was friends with your parents and the rest of the Marauders."
Harry smiled at the man who grinned at him lopsidedly in return. Harry decided he liked him immediately, despite his unkempt appearance.
"Harry, I have already told you about the foundation and history of the Order of the Phoenix, what I have yet to explain to you however is why you are here."
Dumbledore paused for a moment and went back around the table to his seat. After he had sat down, he leaned forward slightly and looked at Harry intently.
"Harry, have you had any dreams about Voldemort" (Harry was surprised to see that none of the people in the room flinched at the name) "lately?" Harry stared at Dumbledore. Surely he could not mean..... Could he know about Harry's dream about Snape being discovered a spy? Had that really happened? Should he tell them? If it had never happened, he would be making a fool of himself.....
Dumbledore seemed to read some of Harry's thoughts, because he prodded,
"One involving Professor Snape, Harry."
Harry frowned. So the dream had really happened? Feeling all eyes on him, Harry started to squirm slightly uncomfortably and licked his lips nervously, eyes darting from one face to another.
"Actually, yes, I had one dream about Voldemort involving Professor Snape. I.....I wasn't sure if it had been real."
Dumbledore nodded.
"Please tell us about the dream, Harry."
Harry nodded nervously and tried to remember the dream as clearly as possible. It was hard, because like any of his visions about Voldemort, the dream had started to slip away like water in his hand soon after he had woken up that day.
"It was-"Harry stopped, frowned, and started again. "It was after I'd fallen asleep two nights ago. I was dreaming about Quidditch, but then I suddenly found myself on the back of a phoenix instead of my broom. The phoenix soared over a huge, dark forest with lots of dark magical beasts in it.
"After a while, I saw a castle looming in the distance. It was huge, almost as big as Hogwarts, but it was completely and utterly black. There were no sounds in the air, no owls hooting or anything, even the wind had stopped blowing when we came closer to the castle. It wasn't really a castle, more of a fortress, and it radiated pure misery and evil. The phoenix swooped through a window and dropped me onto the stone floor behind a gigantic pillar, then it simply vanished."
Harry drew a deep breath, frowning in remembrance.
"The room I had arrived in seemed to be some kind of throne room. Voldemort was there, sitting on a gigantic chair in the front of the room, and in front of him there were Deatheaters. He just sat there for a while, looking at them. It was strange because I could hear his thoughts. Nothing important, though, he was just on about the incompetence of some of his Deatheaters, mainly Pettigrew."
Harry spat out the name like a curse.
"Then he started to walk along the line of Deatheaters, looking each in the face for a while before stopping at the very end. Oh yeah, he tortured Pettigrew for a bit because the rat wouldn't stop stuttering. Then, he started a 'touching' speech about a traitor he had discovered and told the Deatheater to take off his mask."
Harry glanced quickly at his potions professor, who nodded at him.
"Go on, boy. Obviously, that Deatheater was me."
Harry nodded.
"Well, Voldemort hit you with the Cruciatus curse. I was horrified at first and didn't know what to do. I can never do anything in those dreams, I always have to watch from the sidelines, I have to watch Voldemort torture muggles and wizards just for the fun of it but I can never interfere, never help them..... and then, I suddenly got really angry because I was feeling so helpless. I hate feeling helpless. So, without further thinking, I launched myself out of the shadows and right in front of the curse."
Harry grimaced as he remembered the horrendous pain he had felt.
"I don't really know what possessed me at that moment, but somehow I knew what I had to do. I managed to turn around..... that's when Professor Snape told me that I was glowing. I hadn't even noticed before, but there was blue, white and gold light all around me. I knew that I had to find a way to get Professor Snape out of there quickly..... and then, I suddenly found myself pointing my hand at him and shouting 'Mitto Severus Snape ad Hogwarts!' Don't ask me where that came from, it just seemed like the right thing to do. And, well, the spell seemed to work, I heard Voldemort scream in rage and then I blacked out from the pain."
Harry finished recounting his dream and looked at Snape uncertainly.
"So, this really did happen?"
Snape nodded and opened his mouth to say something but at that moment Dumbledore interrupted.
"Very well, Harry. I suppose I don't have to tell you that you probably saved Severus's life, and I thank you for that. As for the glow you and Professor Snape mentioned, my guess is that in your rage, managed to gain some of the powers that should have been blocked until your fifteenth birthday. Gold for Gryffindor, white for Merlin, blue for Ravenclaw.....
"It seems to me that although your powers are still sealed off, you can already have access to them in times of desperate need. However, Harry, with Professor Snape exposed as our spy, we are currently facing a big predicament as we do not have a source in Voldemort's inner circle anymore to inform us of his plans in advance. This is a disaster for both the magical and the muggle world..... And this is where you come in, Harry."
"Me?" Harry asked in surprise.
"Yes, you, Mr. Potter." Dumbledore repeated, his eyes twinkling overtime. "Your scar and with it your link to Voldemort is at the moment the only way for us to receive intelligence on Voldemort and his plans. It is crucial, Harry, that we know about any Voldemort-related dreams you may have from now on, however unimportant they may seem to you. And this is why I want you, Harry, to join the Order of the Phoenix."
Harry gasped and stared at his headmaster. The other people in the room were silent, confirming Harry's suspicions that they had known about this before. Harry didn't like the fact that, yet again, he seemed to be the last person to know about a decision that would probably affect his entire life. He knew he should probably feel honoured that they wanted him to be part of the Order, but couldn't help thinking that he wouldn't be of much use and that he couldn't make those dreams come in order to give the Council information.
Dumbledore, undoubtedly, knew this as well, so what was the point in him joining the Order? Besides, Harry knew that he would be the centre of attention even more than before and he would probably have to lie to his friends..... or worse yet, if Ron found out he would maybe be jealous again and would refuse to talk to Harry for half of the school year. And if that weren't enough problems already, he wasn't sure if he liked the responsibility and added pressure that came from holding the position of an (unwilling) spy for the Order.
"You want me to join the Order just because of the dreams I have about Voldemort? I could just as well tell you about them without being in the Order. You do realize that I can't influence at which time I have those dreams, Professor, don't you? And I can't even remember them most of the time after I wake up. "
Dumbledore nodded calmly.
"Precisely, Harry. Though you share this connection with Voldemort, you can't give us all the information you saw in your dreams because you are starting to forget about them as soon as you stop dreaming.
"One thing about the Order Council you must know, Harry, is that we all have a mental connection. It's a bit like telepathy, only that we can't read each other's thoughts permanently. But we can send messages or images through this bond, to specific members, Council or not, or to everyone in the council, or in the Order.
"If you were part of the Order Council, Harry, you would be enclosed in this mental bond. I could put a charm on you so that every time you dream of a specific thing, in this case, Voldemort, your dream would be sent to all of us here. We would make sure that you will only send it to the Council. This way, even if you were to forget about the dream, all of us here would remember it. Do you understand?"
Harry nodded in affirmative. This sounded like a good plan to him, but there was still one more thing that was bothering him. He had never told anyone, but whenever he had any visions about Voldemort his scar hurt as terribly as if someone was hitting him with the Cruciatus Curse. He didn't want people to worry about him or to suffer from his, Harry's, pain.
"Professor, what about my scar? You know that it hurts whenever I have those dreams....."
Dumbledore seemed to understand where Harry was going because he held up his hand.
"Don't worry, my boy. Though we will see your dreams, we won't be able to hear your thoughts or feel anything that you feel, which includes the pain of your scar, unless your emotions are extraordinarily strong. In that case we will probably feel a faint echo of whatever it is that you are feeling."
This didn't reassure Harry in the slightest, but he nodded anyway, not wanting to give himself away. Dumbledore, seeing that Harry was still hesitating, decided to elaborate further.
"And if that is not enough to convince you, Harry, there is also the fact that in merely two weeks, you will be more powerful than most of us here put together."
Harry frowned. He didn't like to be reminded of the prophecy, it always made him realize that one of his greatest wishes, along with the wish of getting to know his parents, would never be fulfilled: The wish to be just a normal, almost-fifteen-year-old teenager, just Harry Potter, not The-Boy- Who-Lived.
But he could see Dumbledore's point and relented.
"Alright. If this is what you all want, I'm going to join the Order of the Phoenix."
Immediately, smiles broke out on all faces (well, not Mad-Eye-Moody's, but even he looked less intimidating than usually). It seemed that they had wanted him to join more than they had let on. Dumbledore, too, looked very pleased.
"Splendid! Let us prepare everything for the initiation ceremony."
'Initiation ceremony? Huh?' Harry suddenly had a bad feeling about the whole thing.
Dumbledore clapped his hands together, and immediately the table vanished and the chairs arranged themselves in a circle around Harry's chair. Everyone jumped up in surprise, and all chairs vanished into thin air at once. Dumbledore just smiled when everyone turned to look at him disdainfully and joined his fellow Order members.
The Council stood in a perfect circle around Harry, which made him feel extremely self-conscious. Suddenly it occurred to Harry that he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do or say. In a mild state of panic he turned to Dumbledore, who seemed to be reading his mind yet again because he smiled at Harry reassuringly.
"Relax, Harry. You will know what to do when the time has come. It is part of the ceremony that the new member is unaware of what will happen during the initiation. Do not worry, though, my boy, you will be just fine."
Harry couldn't help but notice that Dumbledore looked unusually solemn when he said this last sentence and that he, along with every other Council member (even Sirius, Minerva, Remus and Professor Snape), was not meeting his eyes. Harry's stomach started to fill with dread, and the only thing his mind seemed to be able to come up with was 'What have I gotten myself into this time?'.
Before he had time to do or say anything else, all Order members pointed their wands at him. They started to murmur a slow, quiet chant that Harry could not understand, and then a beam of light flew out of each of their wands and connected with him. Harry felt a strange warmth running through him, soothing him. Then the golden threads of light split up and connected with the other members, until every person in the room was connected via light with Harry and everyone else.
Then, a beautiful, unearthly song started to fill the air all around Harry, and Fawkes flew in through the window, landing on the golden net right in front of Harry. The Council stopped chanting and were looking at Harry and Fawkes expectantly. The phoenix song died away. Then Dumbledore cleared his throat and stepped forward, never breaking the golden threads of light.
"Harry James Potter, do you want to join the Order of the Phoenix?"
Harry's gaze was suddenly drawn to Fawkes and he looked into the bird's beautiful, black eyes.
"Yes, I do." Harry remembered what Dumbledore had told him about the initiation ceremony.
'No one, Harry, can lie while looking into a phoenix's eyes.....'
"Do you promise to be faithful to the Order and to never join the dark side?"
Harry was still looking into Fawkes's eyes.
"Yes, I promise."
"Would you give your life in order to protect your fellow Order members if they were in mortal peril?"
Harry felt a jolt of surprise and shock race through him at that question. What did they expect of him? That he go on missions with the rest of him and fight battles against Voldemort? He had only just completed his fourth year!
Nevertheless, he answered, knowing that it was the truth.
"Yes, I would."
Fawkes thrilled a high note, then he flew up and out of the window again. Harry fixed his gaze back on the headmaster.
Dumbledore stepped back into the circle and the beams of light brightened until they were almost blinding in their intensity.
"Harry James Potter, you have fulfilled the laws of the Order of the Phoenix and are now officially a member. In order for you to become a part of the Order Council, you must completely trust every Council member. In order for you to trust us and for us to trust you, we will have to view each other's best and worst memories."
Harry's panic suddenly returned full force. No! They could not make him do that! Harry threw himself against the invisible bonds that kept him in his place desperately, but if anything they seemed to tighten around him. Harry struggled wildly for a few moments, then the pressure on his chest became so heavy that he almost started to choke. Harry, realizing that there was no way out and that he would have to relive all those horrible memories, gave up completely and lowered his gaze. The bonds loosened and he could at least breathe freely again.
Then, the thread connecting him to Dumbledore started to glow red and pulse slightly, reminding him eerily of the light that had connected his and Voldemort's wands at the graveyard after the third task, and images he had never seen before started to display themselves in his mind's eye.
There was Dumbledore, being made headmaster of Hogwarts, and then Dumbledore, celebrating his defeat of Grindelwald. Obviously those were his best memories. After that the thread started to turn black, and Harry could see Dumbledore getting the news of his (Harry's) parents death. This surprised Harry for a moment, but then he berated himself for being so stupid. He had known that Dumbledore had been friends with his parents after all.
So the circle continued, Harry seeing the best and the worst memories of everyone . He saw Sirius being made godfather of Harry (which surprised him again) and discovering his best friends' dead bodies. Then he watched as the scene with Pettigrew displayed itself and Sirius got thrown into Azkaban.
He saw Remus making friends with Sirius, his father and Pettigrew, and then saw him gettng bitten by a werewolf at the age of four.
He saw Arabella Figg laughing with her friends, none of whom Harry recognised, then saw her in a battle against Voldemort with one of her friends from before, and her friend was being killed by a Deatheater.
He saw Mundungus Fletcher marrying a beautiful young woman, then saw Mundungus reading a newspaper article that said that someone called Emeline Fletcher (probably the woman from before) was missing.
He saw Moody imprisoning an (obviously famous) Deatheater couple and then saw him being trapped in Crouch's trunk the year before.
He saw Hagrid getting accepted at Hogwarts, and then saw him receiving the notice of his father's death and being expelled from the school, then he witnessed the scene from more than two years ago in Hagrid's hut again, when they had taken him away to Azkaban.
He saw Arthur Weasley marrying Molly and meeting each of his kids for the first time (which meant, seven times basically the same memory) and then saw him being thrown into Azkaban for two weeks because of some plot of Lucius Malfoy's.
He saw Bill being made head boy and then saw him being hit by some particularly nasty hexes in Egypt.
He saw Charlie working with his dragons in Romania and being made Quidditch team captain at Hogwarts and receiving an offer of the English National Quidditch Team, and then saw him getting nastily burnt by a Hungarian Horntail.
He saw Professor Vektor being made Professor at Hogwarts and then saw him running into a burning house (probably his own) as a child, trying in vain to safe what Harry assumed was his little sister from the fire.
He saw Professor Sinistra looking at the stars, then getting the news of her uncle's death as a student.
He saw Professor Sprout discovering an (until then) unknown plant, and then seeing Cedric's dead body on the ground.
He saw Professor Flitwick teaching his charms classes, and then he saw him drinking a de-growing potion as a child. Harry supposed that explained a lot.
He saw Minerva being made godmother of Harry (which surprised him again) and then saw her getting the news of Harry's parents' deaths and losing the battle of Harry's custody.
And finally he saw Severus getting a second chance from Dumbledore, then saw him joining the Deatheaters and Voldemort.
Harry had watched those memories with fascination. He felt pity and amazement for most of the Council and was still struggling with all those foreign memories. Harry was snapped out of his daze when suddenly all the golden threads of light started to glow red. Harry felt uncomfortable, like a giant hand was sifting through his memories. Then, a memory of his own displayed itself in front of his mind's eye, and Harry knew that the other people in the room could see it as well.
It was a memory of what had happened almost four years ago, when Hagrid had come and told Harry about his being a wizard, and another memory of the first train ride when he had met Ron and Hermione. He watched himself and Ron and Hermione fight the Mountain Troll, then he saw Gryffindor winning the house cup in his first, second and third year, and the Quidditch cup in third year. And finally Harry watched himself discovering that his godfather was innocent and listened to Minerva telling him that she was his godmother again.
Harry realized that there were a lot more memories from him than from any of the others, but he supposed that it was natural because it was his initiation ceremony.
But then Harry was again jolted out of his thoughts by the threads of light that were starting to glow a black colour. Harry closed his eyes as he felt panic close in on him again. He didn't want to relive his worst memories, he didn't even want to think about them, and he most definitely didn't want anyone else to see them!
It started on that fateful Halloween night almost fourteen years before, Harry watched his parents be killed by Voldemort, those horrible memories that had been haunting his nightmares for years were all dragged to the surface.
The next memories were all mostly the same: Dudley shunning Harry for something Harry hadn't even done, or Harry doing magic accidentally, and then Harry being punished for it, everything Harry had tried so hard to hide from everybody.
It started with the first slaps Harry had received at the age of seven and stopped with the past two weeks. Then came the thing Harry had been dreading the most:
The third task of the TriWizard Tournament. Harry watched himself fighting the skrewt, hanging upside down in the strange golden mist, saving Cedric from Krum, answering the Sphinx's riddle.
Then he listened to himself and Cedric arguing over the cup, and then watched as they were both whisked away by the portkey.
Though Harry was not able to move, he felt his desperation and urgency to interfere mount with every second. He watched as Pettigrew killed Cedric and screamed inside at the injustice of it. Then he saw Voldemort rise again, saw himself being hit by the Cruciatus curse, duelling with Voldemort..... and then the Priori Incantatem, Cedric's echo, his parents' echoes.
After Harry had touched the portkey again, the scene faded away and Harry knew that the ceremony was over. He didn't open his eyes. He didn't want to know how they were looking at him, he didn't even care anymore. All he could feel at the moment was guilt, anger, bitterness and self-loathing.
He could hear the Council members gasp, and knew that they had probably felt his emotions through the lingering connection.
The threads of light were getting thinner and thinner and finally faded away completely. The strange warmth that had flooded Harry the instant the light had connected with him vanished as well, leaving Harry feeling cold and empty inside.
Now that the connection had been broken, the invisible bonds that had held Harry in place had apparently vanished as well and Harry just allowed himself to slump to the floor, feeling exhausted and drained.
He could hear footsteps rushing towards him and himself being turned over by a gentle hand. It reminded him so much of last year when he had come back with the portkey and Cedric's body that Harry felt shivers running up and down his spine.
"Harry!" someone called. Harry recognised the worried voice of his godfather. Realizing that he couldn't very well lie there forever Harry sighed and reluctantly opened his eyes. He could see Sirius, Remus, Minerva, Dumbledore, Snape and Arthur Weasley all bending over him, looks of concern on their faces.
When they saw that Harry had opened his eyes they all breathed a sigh of relief and stepped back a little, giving Harry space to stand, which he did on very shaky legs. Harry didn't know what to say, he really didn't know. And neither, it seemed, did the other members. After a few moments of awkward silence, Dumbledore cleared his throat.
"Right. Let's call this meeting to an end. Next meeting will be in a week, goodnight everybody."
Slowly, the Council started to leave Dumbledore's office, all of them muttering 'goodbyes' to each other. Arthur Weasley was the last to leave, claiming that he had to go home or Molly would kill him.
In the end, only Harry, Sirius, Remus, Minerva, Snape and Dumbledore remained. Dumbledore waved his wand and his office returned to its normal size. Then, with another flick of the wand, a sofa and three armchairs appeared, all facing a small table in the middle. Harry looked at his headmaster quizzically. Dumbledore saw his questioning gaze and said firmly,
"I believe the six of us should have a talk, Harry."
Harry squashed his annoyance. He knew that the headmaster meant well, and so did the others in the room.
They all sat down, Harry on the sofa between Sirius and Remus, and Dumbledore, Snape and McGonagall in the armchairs.
There was an uncomfortable silence. Harry fiddled with his hands nervously, not quite knowing what to expect.
Then Dumbledore spoke.
"Harry, about that last memory of yours. The graveyard."
Harry scowled and looked away. Then he felt a firm hand under his chin, forcing him to look up and Remus in the eyes.
"Harry," Remus said, "You must stop beating yourself up over it. Cedric's death and Voldemort's return were not your fault. You can ask anyone who has been in the room and they will tell you the same. There was nothing you could have done!"
Harry squirmed. Technically, he knew that. He had gone over the events in his head countless times and looked for anything he could have done differently..... but other than being egoistical and taking the cup alone, nothing had come to him. He knew that he shouldn't feel guilty for being noble, but he couldn't help it.
"Potter?" Snape prompted.
Harry met their eyes full-on.
"I know there is nothing I could have done."
Sirius frowned.
"Then why, Harry, do you still feel guilty about Cedric's death?"
Harry turned to look at Sirius. And suddenly it occurred to him that Sirius was in a similar situation.
"Sirius," he said, "Do you still feel guilty about my parents' death?"
Sirius looked uncomfortable.
"Harry, that's completely beside the point, now. We're talking about you, not me."
"Do you?" Harry pressed.
"Harry, I really don't think....."
"But do you?" Harry interrupted again.
"YES! For heaven's sake, yes! I feel guilty about Lily and James' deaths even after almost fourteen years! I know that there is no way to change the past, but I can't help feeling responsible."
"And so you're making my point for me, Sirius." Harry said quietly.
"Your point?" Sirius asked confused. "What point?"
Harry sighed.
"Don't you see how similar our situations are, Sirius? You persuaded my parents to change secret keepers because you thought it would be best for everyone. What you couldn't have known was that Pettigrew was the spy. And so he betrayed my parents to Voldemort, who killed them. You made a small mistake that isn't even really a mistake because you couldn't possibly have known what would happen. You thought it was for the best. Yet this little mistake proved to be fatal. So you know that there was nothing you could have done, does that make you feel any less guilty?"
Sirius stared at Harry.
"No." he admitted eventually..
Harry nodded.
"Exactly. I persuaded Cedric to take the cup with me because I thought it would be best for everyone. What I couldn't possibly have known was that the cup was a portkey. And so he took Cedric and me to Voldemort, who made Pettigrew kill Cedric. I made a small mistake which wasn't even really a mistake because I couldn't have known what would happen. I thought it was for the best. Yet this little mistake proved to be fatal. So I know that there was nothing I could have done, does that make me feel any less guilty?"
Silence filled the room. Everyone stared at Harry and he knew that they could see what he was getting at.
"You see?" Harry said quietly. "Sirius, my parents' death wasn't your fault. I'm sure that countless people have told you that. You know that as well as I do, as we all do. Yet you can't help feeling guilty. I know that Cedric's death wasn't my fault, either. But this doesn't mean that I don't feel guilty, so stop being such a hypocrite."
Harry looked down on his shoes. What he wanted to do more than anything was to curl up in his bed and forget all about this miserable day. So much had happened in one single day, he could hardly believe it.
He had found out that Professor McGonagall, Transfigurations Professor, Head of Gryffindor House and Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was in fact his godmother, he had made peace with Snape, he had found out why Voldemort wanted to kill him and that he was destined to defeat the evil bastard, he had learnt about the Order of the Phoenix, not to mention that he had become part of the Order Council and had just had to relive his worst memories in front of 16 other people, most of whom he only knew fleetingly.
He wanted to sleep.
His thoughts must have been showing on his face because he heard Dumbledore say,
"I think that is enough for today. Minerva, please show Harry to his new room. Sirius, Remus, please follow me. Severus, I trust that you will be fine?"
Severus nodded and with a last glance at Harry he left the room quickly.
Minerva hauled him to his feet and together the two of them left the office, muttering a quick 'goodnight' to everybody.
Silently, they descended the moving staircase and stepped out behind the stone gargoyle. Harry followed Minerva to a part of the castle where he had never been before.
"This is the teachers' wing," Minerva explained. "You will be staying here for the holidays and so will Rhianna Lupin once she arrives."
Harry looked up immediately. He had almost forgotten about Lupin's daughter.
"When will she arrive?" he asked curiously.
"Around the time of your birthday, I believe..... which means, in approximately two weeks."
They had stopped at a portrait of a young man with black hair and impossibly green eyes.
"Who's that?" Harry asked, shocked by the resemblance between himself and the portrait.
"That is Merlin, Harry. I believe that he is sixteen in the picture. Obviously, this is where you get your eyes from."
She gave Harry an uncharacteristic half-smile.
Suddenly the portrait stirred.
"Why, hello there, Minerva! And who might you be?"
Harry grinned at his ancestor, deciding that he liked him.
"I'm Harry. Nice to meet you!"
Minerva interrupted.
"Harry, this is your room. The password is 'Elven Clearing'."
The portrait swung open reluctantly, as if wanting to talk to Harry longer, and Harry climbed through the portrait hole behind his godmother.
As soon as he had entered the room, his jaw dropped. The room (his room!) was huge. The ceiling was charmed like the ceiling in the great hall, it showed the sky outside. The wall opposite the entrance was practically one huge window, though it was divided into several sections. Every other section could be opened.
On the left wall, there was a huge four-poster bed that looked as though it was a giant tree, the bed posts were beautiful tree trunks and the curtains and canopy were made of real leaves. A soft breeze rustled the leaves from time to time, making it seem as though the bed was alive- which, Harry thought, it probably was. His trunk stood at the end of the bed. All the wood in the room was a nice, light colour, probably alder or something like that. There was a bedside table, on which Harry's wand lay, and a table with two chairs.
On the wall below the windows there was a desk with several quills, rolls of parchment and bottles of ink. On the right wall there were a few book shelves and a wardrobe. The floor was covered in real grass, soft and green, and, as Minerva explained, charmed so that it needed neither water nor anything else and was indestructible. Apparently, the bed had the same charm on it.
The walls of the room looked like a real forest, too and were magical because the younger trees were swaying slightly in the wind and from time to time an animal would rush past or even stick its head through the wall into Harry's room. To top it all off, a real stream was running through Harry's room. It was deep, but the current was not strong.
"It will always have the temperature you want it to have. You can drink the water or swim in there or both, it's up to you. There's a permanent cleaning spell on the water, so you need not worry about hygiene, it will always be clean no matter what you do. You can even wash your hair in there if you like, the shampoo or soap will vanish immediately. If you dive under the wall you will land directly in the lake on the grounds. You can return here by diving under the rocks at the south end of the lake. Do you have any questions?"
Harry shook his head and finally managed to close his mouth.
"This is brilliant! Thank you so much!"
Minerva smiled at him almost motherly.
"You are most welcome, Harry. Now, I suggest that you unpack your trunk and then go to sleep, it has been a long day. Goodnight."
Minerva started to walk towards the door but then hesitated and turned around once more.
"Harry.....are you alright? Because of- tonight?"
Harry forced a smile and said:
"I'm fine, Minerva. Don't worry."
The professor gave him another rare smile and left.
Harry started to unpack his trunk immediately. He put his old schoolbooks and all the other books he possessed (most of them about Quidditch) on to the book shelves, then got another pleasant surprise as he started to put his clothes away.
Instead of Dudley's large hand-me-downs that he was used to, his trunk was full of new muggle clothes that actually fit, light, colourful wizarding summer robes, mainly green, blue and red ones, heavy cloaks and robes for cold winter days and even two or three pyjamas. Harry gaped at those clothes for while, wondering who on earth would give him so much. Then he noticed a note at the bottom of the trunk. With slightly shaking fingers he unfolded it and read:
Dear Harry,
I retrieved your things from the Dursleys and saw the clothes those muggles have given you. I threw them all away and bought you new ones instead. We can't have you running around in your school robes or those rags all summer, can we? If you look into your wardrobe, you will also find a new pair of shoes and swimming trunks. All those clothes are charmed so that they will grow with you whenever you grow and will always fit you perfectly. Consider this thirteen birthday gifts in one from your godmother.
Love, Minerva
P.S.: Don't even think of thanking me for this, or I will hex you.
Harry smiled happily. This was great! He quickly went over to the wardrobe and opened it. Sure enough, there was a brand-new pair of black-and-white sports shoes and a blue pair of swimming trunks.
Harry put all of his new clothes into the wardrobe and then changed into one of the new pyjamas. He shoved his trunk under the bed and looked around his room in satisfaction.
Deciding to take a bath in the stream first thing in the morning, Harry yawned and climbed into the amazingly soft bed. The covers were midnight blue, Harry could see the night sky through the leaves above his head and hear a soft breeze rustling them.
Shoving all thoughts of the evening out of his head, Harry closed his eyes and fell asleep quickly.
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A/N: Phew! That was chapter 5! What do you think? Did you like it? Please review and let me know!
Thanks to all those wonderful people who reviewed the last chapter!
See ya,
Felinity ^_^
Disclaimer: Everything you recognise still belongs to JK Rowling!!!
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Chapter 5
The Order of the Phoenix
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After his quick shower Harry quickly put on the clothes that had been provided for him. Obviously, the house elves thought that the uniform code didn't apply during the summer holidays, so Harry was now wearing a pair of blue jeans and a plain black T-Shirt.
Brushing his still damp black hair behind his ears quickly (over the past year and summer it had grown to just beyond his ears, which made it much more tameable), Harry grabbed his glasses and hurried back to the infirmary. Sirius and Remus smiled upon seeing him and together the three of them left for Dumbledore's office, though not after promising Madam Pomfrey that Harry would stop by for a last check-up the next morning.
Soon they were standing in front of the stone gargoyle which was guarding Dumbledore's office as always. Remus gave the password ("Milky Way!"), it jumped aside and let them step on to the moving staircase behind.
The heavy oak door at the top of the stairs was open and they could hear the chattering of many voices from inside the room. Harry entered Dumbledore's office after Sirius and Remus. The first thing he noticed was that the room had been enlarged. There was a long table in the centre of the room, only three seats (obviously theirs) were still vacant.
The second thing he noticed was that everyone in the room had stopped talking and was looking at him. Harry groaned inwardly and quickly slipped into his seat between Remus and Professor Snape. Both of them gave him an encouraging smile (though it was more a smirk in Snape's case), knowing fully well how much Harry hated being the centre of attention. Fortunately, Dumbledore took pity on Harry and cleared his throat loudly, making almost every person in the room jump and return to their previous conversations.
Harry looked around the room and noticed that he knew most of the people sitting around the table. There were Professors McGonagall (who gave him a small smile), Flitwick, Sprout, Sinistra, Vektor, Snape and Dumbledore, and Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Hagrid (who beamed at him), Mad-Eye-Moody (the real one), Arthur Weasley and his two oldest sons, Bill and Charlie (all three of whom nodded at him in greeting).
There were, however, two other people in the room. One of them, a short woman with grey hair and a grouchy expression on her face, sat right next to Professor Snape. With some amount of shock Harry recognised the old lady who had used to baby-sit him years before at the Dursleys'.
"Mrs. Figg?" he asked in complete disbelief.
The woman turned to him and smiled.
"Hello, Harry. It is good to see you."
Harry gaped at her.
"But.....what are you doing here?"
Mrs. Figg tutted impatiently.
"Honestly, boy, I thought you were more intelligent than that- obviously, I am part of the Order Council. I am a squib."
Harry gaped at her wordlessly.
"Shut your mouth," Mrs. Figg told him briskly, "You're looking stupid."
Harry's jaws clicked shut audibly, though he was still goggling at his one- time babysitter.
"You're a good actor, boy," Mrs. Figg remarked, eyeing him critically. "Dumbledore told me. Never suspected a thing."
Harry looked down at the table quickly, avoiding her piercing stare and scowling to himself defiantly.
"Aren't there more people in the Council than this?" he asked Remus to distract himself.
Remus nodded.
"Yes, Emmeline Vance, Elphias Doge, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Nymphadora Tonks are currently on missions. I am not quite sure about Dumbledore's brother Aberforth, I suspect that he is as well....."
A warm hand on his shoulder redirected Harry's thoughts to the meeting. Dumbledore had stepped up behind him and everyone had quieted down and was looking at the headmaster and Harry expectantly.
"Good evening, everybody. I have no doubt that you all know our young Mr. Potter here. Harry, this" (he pointed at the only person in the room whom Harry didn't know, a man with dark blond hair and brown eyes that looked to be in his mid-thirties like Sirius, Remus and Professor Snape, though decidedly more ragged) "is Mundungus Fletcher. He was friends with your parents and the rest of the Marauders."
Harry smiled at the man who grinned at him lopsidedly in return. Harry decided he liked him immediately, despite his unkempt appearance.
"Harry, I have already told you about the foundation and history of the Order of the Phoenix, what I have yet to explain to you however is why you are here."
Dumbledore paused for a moment and went back around the table to his seat. After he had sat down, he leaned forward slightly and looked at Harry intently.
"Harry, have you had any dreams about Voldemort" (Harry was surprised to see that none of the people in the room flinched at the name) "lately?" Harry stared at Dumbledore. Surely he could not mean..... Could he know about Harry's dream about Snape being discovered a spy? Had that really happened? Should he tell them? If it had never happened, he would be making a fool of himself.....
Dumbledore seemed to read some of Harry's thoughts, because he prodded,
"One involving Professor Snape, Harry."
Harry frowned. So the dream had really happened? Feeling all eyes on him, Harry started to squirm slightly uncomfortably and licked his lips nervously, eyes darting from one face to another.
"Actually, yes, I had one dream about Voldemort involving Professor Snape. I.....I wasn't sure if it had been real."
Dumbledore nodded.
"Please tell us about the dream, Harry."
Harry nodded nervously and tried to remember the dream as clearly as possible. It was hard, because like any of his visions about Voldemort, the dream had started to slip away like water in his hand soon after he had woken up that day.
"It was-"Harry stopped, frowned, and started again. "It was after I'd fallen asleep two nights ago. I was dreaming about Quidditch, but then I suddenly found myself on the back of a phoenix instead of my broom. The phoenix soared over a huge, dark forest with lots of dark magical beasts in it.
"After a while, I saw a castle looming in the distance. It was huge, almost as big as Hogwarts, but it was completely and utterly black. There were no sounds in the air, no owls hooting or anything, even the wind had stopped blowing when we came closer to the castle. It wasn't really a castle, more of a fortress, and it radiated pure misery and evil. The phoenix swooped through a window and dropped me onto the stone floor behind a gigantic pillar, then it simply vanished."
Harry drew a deep breath, frowning in remembrance.
"The room I had arrived in seemed to be some kind of throne room. Voldemort was there, sitting on a gigantic chair in the front of the room, and in front of him there were Deatheaters. He just sat there for a while, looking at them. It was strange because I could hear his thoughts. Nothing important, though, he was just on about the incompetence of some of his Deatheaters, mainly Pettigrew."
Harry spat out the name like a curse.
"Then he started to walk along the line of Deatheaters, looking each in the face for a while before stopping at the very end. Oh yeah, he tortured Pettigrew for a bit because the rat wouldn't stop stuttering. Then, he started a 'touching' speech about a traitor he had discovered and told the Deatheater to take off his mask."
Harry glanced quickly at his potions professor, who nodded at him.
"Go on, boy. Obviously, that Deatheater was me."
Harry nodded.
"Well, Voldemort hit you with the Cruciatus curse. I was horrified at first and didn't know what to do. I can never do anything in those dreams, I always have to watch from the sidelines, I have to watch Voldemort torture muggles and wizards just for the fun of it but I can never interfere, never help them..... and then, I suddenly got really angry because I was feeling so helpless. I hate feeling helpless. So, without further thinking, I launched myself out of the shadows and right in front of the curse."
Harry grimaced as he remembered the horrendous pain he had felt.
"I don't really know what possessed me at that moment, but somehow I knew what I had to do. I managed to turn around..... that's when Professor Snape told me that I was glowing. I hadn't even noticed before, but there was blue, white and gold light all around me. I knew that I had to find a way to get Professor Snape out of there quickly..... and then, I suddenly found myself pointing my hand at him and shouting 'Mitto Severus Snape ad Hogwarts!' Don't ask me where that came from, it just seemed like the right thing to do. And, well, the spell seemed to work, I heard Voldemort scream in rage and then I blacked out from the pain."
Harry finished recounting his dream and looked at Snape uncertainly.
"So, this really did happen?"
Snape nodded and opened his mouth to say something but at that moment Dumbledore interrupted.
"Very well, Harry. I suppose I don't have to tell you that you probably saved Severus's life, and I thank you for that. As for the glow you and Professor Snape mentioned, my guess is that in your rage, managed to gain some of the powers that should have been blocked until your fifteenth birthday. Gold for Gryffindor, white for Merlin, blue for Ravenclaw.....
"It seems to me that although your powers are still sealed off, you can already have access to them in times of desperate need. However, Harry, with Professor Snape exposed as our spy, we are currently facing a big predicament as we do not have a source in Voldemort's inner circle anymore to inform us of his plans in advance. This is a disaster for both the magical and the muggle world..... And this is where you come in, Harry."
"Me?" Harry asked in surprise.
"Yes, you, Mr. Potter." Dumbledore repeated, his eyes twinkling overtime. "Your scar and with it your link to Voldemort is at the moment the only way for us to receive intelligence on Voldemort and his plans. It is crucial, Harry, that we know about any Voldemort-related dreams you may have from now on, however unimportant they may seem to you. And this is why I want you, Harry, to join the Order of the Phoenix."
Harry gasped and stared at his headmaster. The other people in the room were silent, confirming Harry's suspicions that they had known about this before. Harry didn't like the fact that, yet again, he seemed to be the last person to know about a decision that would probably affect his entire life. He knew he should probably feel honoured that they wanted him to be part of the Order, but couldn't help thinking that he wouldn't be of much use and that he couldn't make those dreams come in order to give the Council information.
Dumbledore, undoubtedly, knew this as well, so what was the point in him joining the Order? Besides, Harry knew that he would be the centre of attention even more than before and he would probably have to lie to his friends..... or worse yet, if Ron found out he would maybe be jealous again and would refuse to talk to Harry for half of the school year. And if that weren't enough problems already, he wasn't sure if he liked the responsibility and added pressure that came from holding the position of an (unwilling) spy for the Order.
"You want me to join the Order just because of the dreams I have about Voldemort? I could just as well tell you about them without being in the Order. You do realize that I can't influence at which time I have those dreams, Professor, don't you? And I can't even remember them most of the time after I wake up. "
Dumbledore nodded calmly.
"Precisely, Harry. Though you share this connection with Voldemort, you can't give us all the information you saw in your dreams because you are starting to forget about them as soon as you stop dreaming.
"One thing about the Order Council you must know, Harry, is that we all have a mental connection. It's a bit like telepathy, only that we can't read each other's thoughts permanently. But we can send messages or images through this bond, to specific members, Council or not, or to everyone in the council, or in the Order.
"If you were part of the Order Council, Harry, you would be enclosed in this mental bond. I could put a charm on you so that every time you dream of a specific thing, in this case, Voldemort, your dream would be sent to all of us here. We would make sure that you will only send it to the Council. This way, even if you were to forget about the dream, all of us here would remember it. Do you understand?"
Harry nodded in affirmative. This sounded like a good plan to him, but there was still one more thing that was bothering him. He had never told anyone, but whenever he had any visions about Voldemort his scar hurt as terribly as if someone was hitting him with the Cruciatus Curse. He didn't want people to worry about him or to suffer from his, Harry's, pain.
"Professor, what about my scar? You know that it hurts whenever I have those dreams....."
Dumbledore seemed to understand where Harry was going because he held up his hand.
"Don't worry, my boy. Though we will see your dreams, we won't be able to hear your thoughts or feel anything that you feel, which includes the pain of your scar, unless your emotions are extraordinarily strong. In that case we will probably feel a faint echo of whatever it is that you are feeling."
This didn't reassure Harry in the slightest, but he nodded anyway, not wanting to give himself away. Dumbledore, seeing that Harry was still hesitating, decided to elaborate further.
"And if that is not enough to convince you, Harry, there is also the fact that in merely two weeks, you will be more powerful than most of us here put together."
Harry frowned. He didn't like to be reminded of the prophecy, it always made him realize that one of his greatest wishes, along with the wish of getting to know his parents, would never be fulfilled: The wish to be just a normal, almost-fifteen-year-old teenager, just Harry Potter, not The-Boy- Who-Lived.
But he could see Dumbledore's point and relented.
"Alright. If this is what you all want, I'm going to join the Order of the Phoenix."
Immediately, smiles broke out on all faces (well, not Mad-Eye-Moody's, but even he looked less intimidating than usually). It seemed that they had wanted him to join more than they had let on. Dumbledore, too, looked very pleased.
"Splendid! Let us prepare everything for the initiation ceremony."
'Initiation ceremony? Huh?' Harry suddenly had a bad feeling about the whole thing.
Dumbledore clapped his hands together, and immediately the table vanished and the chairs arranged themselves in a circle around Harry's chair. Everyone jumped up in surprise, and all chairs vanished into thin air at once. Dumbledore just smiled when everyone turned to look at him disdainfully and joined his fellow Order members.
The Council stood in a perfect circle around Harry, which made him feel extremely self-conscious. Suddenly it occurred to Harry that he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do or say. In a mild state of panic he turned to Dumbledore, who seemed to be reading his mind yet again because he smiled at Harry reassuringly.
"Relax, Harry. You will know what to do when the time has come. It is part of the ceremony that the new member is unaware of what will happen during the initiation. Do not worry, though, my boy, you will be just fine."
Harry couldn't help but notice that Dumbledore looked unusually solemn when he said this last sentence and that he, along with every other Council member (even Sirius, Minerva, Remus and Professor Snape), was not meeting his eyes. Harry's stomach started to fill with dread, and the only thing his mind seemed to be able to come up with was 'What have I gotten myself into this time?'.
Before he had time to do or say anything else, all Order members pointed their wands at him. They started to murmur a slow, quiet chant that Harry could not understand, and then a beam of light flew out of each of their wands and connected with him. Harry felt a strange warmth running through him, soothing him. Then the golden threads of light split up and connected with the other members, until every person in the room was connected via light with Harry and everyone else.
Then, a beautiful, unearthly song started to fill the air all around Harry, and Fawkes flew in through the window, landing on the golden net right in front of Harry. The Council stopped chanting and were looking at Harry and Fawkes expectantly. The phoenix song died away. Then Dumbledore cleared his throat and stepped forward, never breaking the golden threads of light.
"Harry James Potter, do you want to join the Order of the Phoenix?"
Harry's gaze was suddenly drawn to Fawkes and he looked into the bird's beautiful, black eyes.
"Yes, I do." Harry remembered what Dumbledore had told him about the initiation ceremony.
'No one, Harry, can lie while looking into a phoenix's eyes.....'
"Do you promise to be faithful to the Order and to never join the dark side?"
Harry was still looking into Fawkes's eyes.
"Yes, I promise."
"Would you give your life in order to protect your fellow Order members if they were in mortal peril?"
Harry felt a jolt of surprise and shock race through him at that question. What did they expect of him? That he go on missions with the rest of him and fight battles against Voldemort? He had only just completed his fourth year!
Nevertheless, he answered, knowing that it was the truth.
"Yes, I would."
Fawkes thrilled a high note, then he flew up and out of the window again. Harry fixed his gaze back on the headmaster.
Dumbledore stepped back into the circle and the beams of light brightened until they were almost blinding in their intensity.
"Harry James Potter, you have fulfilled the laws of the Order of the Phoenix and are now officially a member. In order for you to become a part of the Order Council, you must completely trust every Council member. In order for you to trust us and for us to trust you, we will have to view each other's best and worst memories."
Harry's panic suddenly returned full force. No! They could not make him do that! Harry threw himself against the invisible bonds that kept him in his place desperately, but if anything they seemed to tighten around him. Harry struggled wildly for a few moments, then the pressure on his chest became so heavy that he almost started to choke. Harry, realizing that there was no way out and that he would have to relive all those horrible memories, gave up completely and lowered his gaze. The bonds loosened and he could at least breathe freely again.
Then, the thread connecting him to Dumbledore started to glow red and pulse slightly, reminding him eerily of the light that had connected his and Voldemort's wands at the graveyard after the third task, and images he had never seen before started to display themselves in his mind's eye.
There was Dumbledore, being made headmaster of Hogwarts, and then Dumbledore, celebrating his defeat of Grindelwald. Obviously those were his best memories. After that the thread started to turn black, and Harry could see Dumbledore getting the news of his (Harry's) parents death. This surprised Harry for a moment, but then he berated himself for being so stupid. He had known that Dumbledore had been friends with his parents after all.
So the circle continued, Harry seeing the best and the worst memories of everyone . He saw Sirius being made godfather of Harry (which surprised him again) and discovering his best friends' dead bodies. Then he watched as the scene with Pettigrew displayed itself and Sirius got thrown into Azkaban.
He saw Remus making friends with Sirius, his father and Pettigrew, and then saw him gettng bitten by a werewolf at the age of four.
He saw Arabella Figg laughing with her friends, none of whom Harry recognised, then saw her in a battle against Voldemort with one of her friends from before, and her friend was being killed by a Deatheater.
He saw Mundungus Fletcher marrying a beautiful young woman, then saw Mundungus reading a newspaper article that said that someone called Emeline Fletcher (probably the woman from before) was missing.
He saw Moody imprisoning an (obviously famous) Deatheater couple and then saw him being trapped in Crouch's trunk the year before.
He saw Hagrid getting accepted at Hogwarts, and then saw him receiving the notice of his father's death and being expelled from the school, then he witnessed the scene from more than two years ago in Hagrid's hut again, when they had taken him away to Azkaban.
He saw Arthur Weasley marrying Molly and meeting each of his kids for the first time (which meant, seven times basically the same memory) and then saw him being thrown into Azkaban for two weeks because of some plot of Lucius Malfoy's.
He saw Bill being made head boy and then saw him being hit by some particularly nasty hexes in Egypt.
He saw Charlie working with his dragons in Romania and being made Quidditch team captain at Hogwarts and receiving an offer of the English National Quidditch Team, and then saw him getting nastily burnt by a Hungarian Horntail.
He saw Professor Vektor being made Professor at Hogwarts and then saw him running into a burning house (probably his own) as a child, trying in vain to safe what Harry assumed was his little sister from the fire.
He saw Professor Sinistra looking at the stars, then getting the news of her uncle's death as a student.
He saw Professor Sprout discovering an (until then) unknown plant, and then seeing Cedric's dead body on the ground.
He saw Professor Flitwick teaching his charms classes, and then he saw him drinking a de-growing potion as a child. Harry supposed that explained a lot.
He saw Minerva being made godmother of Harry (which surprised him again) and then saw her getting the news of Harry's parents' deaths and losing the battle of Harry's custody.
And finally he saw Severus getting a second chance from Dumbledore, then saw him joining the Deatheaters and Voldemort.
Harry had watched those memories with fascination. He felt pity and amazement for most of the Council and was still struggling with all those foreign memories. Harry was snapped out of his daze when suddenly all the golden threads of light started to glow red. Harry felt uncomfortable, like a giant hand was sifting through his memories. Then, a memory of his own displayed itself in front of his mind's eye, and Harry knew that the other people in the room could see it as well.
It was a memory of what had happened almost four years ago, when Hagrid had come and told Harry about his being a wizard, and another memory of the first train ride when he had met Ron and Hermione. He watched himself and Ron and Hermione fight the Mountain Troll, then he saw Gryffindor winning the house cup in his first, second and third year, and the Quidditch cup in third year. And finally Harry watched himself discovering that his godfather was innocent and listened to Minerva telling him that she was his godmother again.
Harry realized that there were a lot more memories from him than from any of the others, but he supposed that it was natural because it was his initiation ceremony.
But then Harry was again jolted out of his thoughts by the threads of light that were starting to glow a black colour. Harry closed his eyes as he felt panic close in on him again. He didn't want to relive his worst memories, he didn't even want to think about them, and he most definitely didn't want anyone else to see them!
It started on that fateful Halloween night almost fourteen years before, Harry watched his parents be killed by Voldemort, those horrible memories that had been haunting his nightmares for years were all dragged to the surface.
The next memories were all mostly the same: Dudley shunning Harry for something Harry hadn't even done, or Harry doing magic accidentally, and then Harry being punished for it, everything Harry had tried so hard to hide from everybody.
It started with the first slaps Harry had received at the age of seven and stopped with the past two weeks. Then came the thing Harry had been dreading the most:
The third task of the TriWizard Tournament. Harry watched himself fighting the skrewt, hanging upside down in the strange golden mist, saving Cedric from Krum, answering the Sphinx's riddle.
Then he listened to himself and Cedric arguing over the cup, and then watched as they were both whisked away by the portkey.
Though Harry was not able to move, he felt his desperation and urgency to interfere mount with every second. He watched as Pettigrew killed Cedric and screamed inside at the injustice of it. Then he saw Voldemort rise again, saw himself being hit by the Cruciatus curse, duelling with Voldemort..... and then the Priori Incantatem, Cedric's echo, his parents' echoes.
After Harry had touched the portkey again, the scene faded away and Harry knew that the ceremony was over. He didn't open his eyes. He didn't want to know how they were looking at him, he didn't even care anymore. All he could feel at the moment was guilt, anger, bitterness and self-loathing.
He could hear the Council members gasp, and knew that they had probably felt his emotions through the lingering connection.
The threads of light were getting thinner and thinner and finally faded away completely. The strange warmth that had flooded Harry the instant the light had connected with him vanished as well, leaving Harry feeling cold and empty inside.
Now that the connection had been broken, the invisible bonds that had held Harry in place had apparently vanished as well and Harry just allowed himself to slump to the floor, feeling exhausted and drained.
He could hear footsteps rushing towards him and himself being turned over by a gentle hand. It reminded him so much of last year when he had come back with the portkey and Cedric's body that Harry felt shivers running up and down his spine.
"Harry!" someone called. Harry recognised the worried voice of his godfather. Realizing that he couldn't very well lie there forever Harry sighed and reluctantly opened his eyes. He could see Sirius, Remus, Minerva, Dumbledore, Snape and Arthur Weasley all bending over him, looks of concern on their faces.
When they saw that Harry had opened his eyes they all breathed a sigh of relief and stepped back a little, giving Harry space to stand, which he did on very shaky legs. Harry didn't know what to say, he really didn't know. And neither, it seemed, did the other members. After a few moments of awkward silence, Dumbledore cleared his throat.
"Right. Let's call this meeting to an end. Next meeting will be in a week, goodnight everybody."
Slowly, the Council started to leave Dumbledore's office, all of them muttering 'goodbyes' to each other. Arthur Weasley was the last to leave, claiming that he had to go home or Molly would kill him.
In the end, only Harry, Sirius, Remus, Minerva, Snape and Dumbledore remained. Dumbledore waved his wand and his office returned to its normal size. Then, with another flick of the wand, a sofa and three armchairs appeared, all facing a small table in the middle. Harry looked at his headmaster quizzically. Dumbledore saw his questioning gaze and said firmly,
"I believe the six of us should have a talk, Harry."
Harry squashed his annoyance. He knew that the headmaster meant well, and so did the others in the room.
They all sat down, Harry on the sofa between Sirius and Remus, and Dumbledore, Snape and McGonagall in the armchairs.
There was an uncomfortable silence. Harry fiddled with his hands nervously, not quite knowing what to expect.
Then Dumbledore spoke.
"Harry, about that last memory of yours. The graveyard."
Harry scowled and looked away. Then he felt a firm hand under his chin, forcing him to look up and Remus in the eyes.
"Harry," Remus said, "You must stop beating yourself up over it. Cedric's death and Voldemort's return were not your fault. You can ask anyone who has been in the room and they will tell you the same. There was nothing you could have done!"
Harry squirmed. Technically, he knew that. He had gone over the events in his head countless times and looked for anything he could have done differently..... but other than being egoistical and taking the cup alone, nothing had come to him. He knew that he shouldn't feel guilty for being noble, but he couldn't help it.
"Potter?" Snape prompted.
Harry met their eyes full-on.
"I know there is nothing I could have done."
Sirius frowned.
"Then why, Harry, do you still feel guilty about Cedric's death?"
Harry turned to look at Sirius. And suddenly it occurred to him that Sirius was in a similar situation.
"Sirius," he said, "Do you still feel guilty about my parents' death?"
Sirius looked uncomfortable.
"Harry, that's completely beside the point, now. We're talking about you, not me."
"Do you?" Harry pressed.
"Harry, I really don't think....."
"But do you?" Harry interrupted again.
"YES! For heaven's sake, yes! I feel guilty about Lily and James' deaths even after almost fourteen years! I know that there is no way to change the past, but I can't help feeling responsible."
"And so you're making my point for me, Sirius." Harry said quietly.
"Your point?" Sirius asked confused. "What point?"
Harry sighed.
"Don't you see how similar our situations are, Sirius? You persuaded my parents to change secret keepers because you thought it would be best for everyone. What you couldn't have known was that Pettigrew was the spy. And so he betrayed my parents to Voldemort, who killed them. You made a small mistake that isn't even really a mistake because you couldn't possibly have known what would happen. You thought it was for the best. Yet this little mistake proved to be fatal. So you know that there was nothing you could have done, does that make you feel any less guilty?"
Sirius stared at Harry.
"No." he admitted eventually..
Harry nodded.
"Exactly. I persuaded Cedric to take the cup with me because I thought it would be best for everyone. What I couldn't possibly have known was that the cup was a portkey. And so he took Cedric and me to Voldemort, who made Pettigrew kill Cedric. I made a small mistake which wasn't even really a mistake because I couldn't have known what would happen. I thought it was for the best. Yet this little mistake proved to be fatal. So I know that there was nothing I could have done, does that make me feel any less guilty?"
Silence filled the room. Everyone stared at Harry and he knew that they could see what he was getting at.
"You see?" Harry said quietly. "Sirius, my parents' death wasn't your fault. I'm sure that countless people have told you that. You know that as well as I do, as we all do. Yet you can't help feeling guilty. I know that Cedric's death wasn't my fault, either. But this doesn't mean that I don't feel guilty, so stop being such a hypocrite."
Harry looked down on his shoes. What he wanted to do more than anything was to curl up in his bed and forget all about this miserable day. So much had happened in one single day, he could hardly believe it.
He had found out that Professor McGonagall, Transfigurations Professor, Head of Gryffindor House and Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was in fact his godmother, he had made peace with Snape, he had found out why Voldemort wanted to kill him and that he was destined to defeat the evil bastard, he had learnt about the Order of the Phoenix, not to mention that he had become part of the Order Council and had just had to relive his worst memories in front of 16 other people, most of whom he only knew fleetingly.
He wanted to sleep.
His thoughts must have been showing on his face because he heard Dumbledore say,
"I think that is enough for today. Minerva, please show Harry to his new room. Sirius, Remus, please follow me. Severus, I trust that you will be fine?"
Severus nodded and with a last glance at Harry he left the room quickly.
Minerva hauled him to his feet and together the two of them left the office, muttering a quick 'goodnight' to everybody.
Silently, they descended the moving staircase and stepped out behind the stone gargoyle. Harry followed Minerva to a part of the castle where he had never been before.
"This is the teachers' wing," Minerva explained. "You will be staying here for the holidays and so will Rhianna Lupin once she arrives."
Harry looked up immediately. He had almost forgotten about Lupin's daughter.
"When will she arrive?" he asked curiously.
"Around the time of your birthday, I believe..... which means, in approximately two weeks."
They had stopped at a portrait of a young man with black hair and impossibly green eyes.
"Who's that?" Harry asked, shocked by the resemblance between himself and the portrait.
"That is Merlin, Harry. I believe that he is sixteen in the picture. Obviously, this is where you get your eyes from."
She gave Harry an uncharacteristic half-smile.
Suddenly the portrait stirred.
"Why, hello there, Minerva! And who might you be?"
Harry grinned at his ancestor, deciding that he liked him.
"I'm Harry. Nice to meet you!"
Minerva interrupted.
"Harry, this is your room. The password is 'Elven Clearing'."
The portrait swung open reluctantly, as if wanting to talk to Harry longer, and Harry climbed through the portrait hole behind his godmother.
As soon as he had entered the room, his jaw dropped. The room (his room!) was huge. The ceiling was charmed like the ceiling in the great hall, it showed the sky outside. The wall opposite the entrance was practically one huge window, though it was divided into several sections. Every other section could be opened.
On the left wall, there was a huge four-poster bed that looked as though it was a giant tree, the bed posts were beautiful tree trunks and the curtains and canopy were made of real leaves. A soft breeze rustled the leaves from time to time, making it seem as though the bed was alive- which, Harry thought, it probably was. His trunk stood at the end of the bed. All the wood in the room was a nice, light colour, probably alder or something like that. There was a bedside table, on which Harry's wand lay, and a table with two chairs.
On the wall below the windows there was a desk with several quills, rolls of parchment and bottles of ink. On the right wall there were a few book shelves and a wardrobe. The floor was covered in real grass, soft and green, and, as Minerva explained, charmed so that it needed neither water nor anything else and was indestructible. Apparently, the bed had the same charm on it.
The walls of the room looked like a real forest, too and were magical because the younger trees were swaying slightly in the wind and from time to time an animal would rush past or even stick its head through the wall into Harry's room. To top it all off, a real stream was running through Harry's room. It was deep, but the current was not strong.
"It will always have the temperature you want it to have. You can drink the water or swim in there or both, it's up to you. There's a permanent cleaning spell on the water, so you need not worry about hygiene, it will always be clean no matter what you do. You can even wash your hair in there if you like, the shampoo or soap will vanish immediately. If you dive under the wall you will land directly in the lake on the grounds. You can return here by diving under the rocks at the south end of the lake. Do you have any questions?"
Harry shook his head and finally managed to close his mouth.
"This is brilliant! Thank you so much!"
Minerva smiled at him almost motherly.
"You are most welcome, Harry. Now, I suggest that you unpack your trunk and then go to sleep, it has been a long day. Goodnight."
Minerva started to walk towards the door but then hesitated and turned around once more.
"Harry.....are you alright? Because of- tonight?"
Harry forced a smile and said:
"I'm fine, Minerva. Don't worry."
The professor gave him another rare smile and left.
Harry started to unpack his trunk immediately. He put his old schoolbooks and all the other books he possessed (most of them about Quidditch) on to the book shelves, then got another pleasant surprise as he started to put his clothes away.
Instead of Dudley's large hand-me-downs that he was used to, his trunk was full of new muggle clothes that actually fit, light, colourful wizarding summer robes, mainly green, blue and red ones, heavy cloaks and robes for cold winter days and even two or three pyjamas. Harry gaped at those clothes for while, wondering who on earth would give him so much. Then he noticed a note at the bottom of the trunk. With slightly shaking fingers he unfolded it and read:
Dear Harry,
I retrieved your things from the Dursleys and saw the clothes those muggles have given you. I threw them all away and bought you new ones instead. We can't have you running around in your school robes or those rags all summer, can we? If you look into your wardrobe, you will also find a new pair of shoes and swimming trunks. All those clothes are charmed so that they will grow with you whenever you grow and will always fit you perfectly. Consider this thirteen birthday gifts in one from your godmother.
Love, Minerva
P.S.: Don't even think of thanking me for this, or I will hex you.
Harry smiled happily. This was great! He quickly went over to the wardrobe and opened it. Sure enough, there was a brand-new pair of black-and-white sports shoes and a blue pair of swimming trunks.
Harry put all of his new clothes into the wardrobe and then changed into one of the new pyjamas. He shoved his trunk under the bed and looked around his room in satisfaction.
Deciding to take a bath in the stream first thing in the morning, Harry yawned and climbed into the amazingly soft bed. The covers were midnight blue, Harry could see the night sky through the leaves above his head and hear a soft breeze rustling them.
Shoving all thoughts of the evening out of his head, Harry closed his eyes and fell asleep quickly.
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A/N: Phew! That was chapter 5! What do you think? Did you like it? Please review and let me know!
Thanks to all those wonderful people who reviewed the last chapter!
See ya,
Felinity ^_^