Disclaimer: "I could tell she appreciated how hard it was for me to say that." "Did you know you're really annoying when you talk?"

(An: And here is the second chapter... as I said before, it is SLASH. So don't blame me if you read it and don't like it or whatever. This one is a lot less serious... and there aren't any flashbacks. For the perpetually clueless, JP is a canon character. He has a twin sister Aurora who had a relationship with Sasquatch (the one alluded to here). By the way, there IS continuity. The first chapter hinted at a lot that happens later on, and Remy and Marie show up again. So don't worry.)

Jean-Paul Beaubier was nineteen years old. He liked cold places, hated America, and wanted nothing more than for his twin sister to show up so he could leave.

Bobby Drake knew none of this when he first saw him. He only knew that the guy muttering to himself at the bus stop bench was probably crazy, but nonetheless the sexiest guy he'd ever seen.

Bobby set down his fork. "I'll be right back, Jubes."

"Why are you telling me?" she replied, without looking up from her magazine.

"Watch my pie."

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "Will do, cheif."

Bobby walked out of the Acoustic Cafe and sat down next to the guy. "You," said Bobby, "look like you could use some pie."

He didn't favor Bobby with a glance.

"I," Bobby went on, ignoring that, "can provide that pie. Now the question is, what kind of pie do you like?"

Now he looked. His eyebrow went up.

"They've got really good pie back there. Really, really good pie. I should know. I ditched my pie to come discuss pie with you, the crazy pieless man."

Finally he spoke. He had a French accent that was as pleasing as the rest of him. "Who are you," he asked, "to call me crazy, when you are the one who offered pie to a complete stranger?"

"But it's really good pie."

"I am not interested in American," the way he sneered when he said it made being American the worst of afflicitions, "pie."

"Not even really good pie?" No response. "We've got French Silk."

"I give you an A for effort, if not for intelligence."

"What are you doing here, anyway? You look like you belong in some Paris cafe, going 'These Americans, they make my ass twitch.'"

The man's lips quivered slightly in a way that suggested he wanted to laugh but wasn't going to, just to spite Bobby. "I am on a business trip, of sorts. And I am waiting for my sister, but I'm beginning to regret it, because she's probably just snogging her boyfriend somewhere and thinking nothing of her poor frere."

"So you have nothing to do?"

"...Non, not really..."

"So come have pie!"

"Why are you so obsessed with pie!"

"It's really good pie!"

"Do you work there or something?" Bobby could tell he was getting the guy exasperated. Which was good.

"No... but my best friend does." He leaned over in a conspirator's whisper. "She gives me a discount on the pie."

"You're just not going to give up and go away, are you."

"Unless Jubes says someone's eating my pie, no."

"Who's Jubes?"

"My waitress friend." Bobby nodded back at the resteraunt.

An unreadable expression flicked across the other guy's face. Then he shrugged. "Oh, why not."

"Great!"

Bobby fairly skipped back into the cafe; his new "friend" followed at a more subdued pace.

"Thanks for watching my pie, Jubes."

"I still don't get why anyone would take it."

Bobby stared at her incredulously for a moment, then sat down.

"Who's your friend? He's hot."

"If there's one thing that can be said for Americans," the man muttered, sitting down across from Bobby, "you do not mince words."

Jubilee snapped her gum. "Well, it's true. You must have a lot of stalkers."

"No, that's my sister. She was in a Wonderbra ad. I have to wear a shirt at public events that says 'No, I CAN'T give you her number.'"

Bobby snorted. "What's your name, anyway?"

"Jean-Paul Beaubier."

"Bobby, Bobby Drake. And this is Jubes."

"He means Jubilee."

"Close enough. So, anyway, JP- do you mind if I call you JP?"

"If I can call you otter-pop."

"...Otter-pop? Is that some kind of French delicacy or something?"

Jean-Paul looked vaguely squicked at the idea. "Non. It's a Canadian thing."

"I thought you were French. You sound French. Doesn't he sound French?" (This last was directed at Jubilee.)

"I'm French-Canadian."

"Ooh. Neato."

Jean-Paul rolled his eyes. "So what were you saying?"

"Oh, right. What kind of pie do you want?"

"I thought we established I don't want pie."

"Why not?" Bobby and Jubilee simultaneously demanded.

Again, that weird look crossed his face. He rolled his eyes. "I don't like pie."

Double gasps.

"What?"

"You can't not like this pie," Bobby replied.

"He's right, you know," Jubilee said, nodding sagely. "The chef won an award for his pie."

Bobby took a forkful of pie and offered it to Jean-Paul, who stared at it as though it were something he'd never seen before. "Try the pie," Bobby commanded.

"I'll pass."

"Your loss," said Bobby after a second, and popped it into his mouth. "So who's your sister?"

"Jean-Marie, but don't call her that, or she'll punch you."

"What, not a big fan of hyphenated names?"

"No, she's got a split personality." Bobby stared. "No, really! I know, it sounds like a soap opera. Everyone says that. Anyway, right now, she's 'Aurora' and if you call her Jean-Marie... well... let's just say she's got one helluva left hook."

"Hey, Jubes! Get your ass over here!" yelled a girl at the waitress's station. Jubilee booked it.

Jean-Paul looked at her, then raised an eyebrow at Bobby.

"What?"

"So..."

"So what?"

"So how long have you two been dating?"

"...WHY does everyone ask that!"

"Because you act like it. So you're not?"

"No!" Bobby shook his head fervently.

Jean-Paul raised an eyebrow again.

"...Do you do that a lot?"

"Why, yes. I am usually considered a bitter, cynical jerk. The public morale is not good, but hey, they still pay me."

"What do you do, anyway?"

"I won a few trophies for skiing, my sister is the Canadian face of boobs, and I led a couple of gay pride rallies."

Bobby (who was unlucky enough to be taking a drink at the time) ending up spitting half his coffee onto the remains of his pie.

"Quoi?"

"You're gay?"

Jean-Paul rolled his eyes. "You know, it's funny, everyone does that."

Bobby didn't really hear this. Probably because he was screaming THANK YOU GOD! in his head and trying not to let it show on his face at the same time.

Thankfully, Jubilee came over with another piece of pie.

"I love you," said Bobby, grabbing the pie. He paused, not spotting the look on his other friends faces. "You want this?" He offered the pie to Jean-Paul, who shook his head.

"Let's get one thing straight, otter-pop- I do not and will not want any pie."

"So I can call you JP?"

"Do you make it a habit to pick up random threads of conversations?"

Bobby tapped his lips. "Why, yes, yes I do."

"He does," Jubilee stage-whispered to Jean-Paul.

"We are short-staffed today, JUBILATION!"

"Ack!" Jubilee ran.

"...Jubilation?" Jean-Paul asked.

"Real name," Bobby replied, sipping his coffee. "Everyone calls her Jubilee because her name is Jubilation Lee- genius, isn't it?- and I've known her for so long that I just call her Jubes. Got it?"

"Ah," said Jean-Paul, smiling slightly.

Focus, Drake, FOCUS, dammit. He managed to choke out a "Very good."

Now Jean-Paul was downright smirking.

Bobby resisted the urge to bang his head on the table.

"You meet the weirdest people here," Jubilee commented, walking back over and leaning on the booth. "Are you sure you don't want pie? It's really good."

"You work here. I'm not about to trust your opinion."

"Now that's just rude."

"WHAT PART OF SHORT-STAFFED DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!"

"Who is that screaming woman, anyway?" Jean-Paul asked.

"Eh, that'd be Wanda," said Bobby, flicking cheeky fingers at Jubilee. "She's kind of the boss. And Jubilee's the ass monkey."

Jean-Paul choked.

"Ha! Triumph!"

"I fear your irreverant stupidity is getting to me, yes."

"Hey, it's not irreverant! I have to think hard to be this stupid."

Jean-Paul shook his head. "You are living proof that Americans really are as stupid as they sound."

"Now, you see, that's just not nice."

"Mon cher, I have never claimed to be nice. In fact, most people claim that I am an insufferable ass."

A really sexyass... "Hey, what does cher mean? Jubilee, do you know?"

"Why are you asking me? I'm two years younger than you."

"Well, still..." Bobby and Jubilee looked expectantly at Jean-Paul.

That smirk came back. "Oh, no, I'm not telling..."

"Is it a swear word?"

"No... I like teaching small children French swearwords. It's funny."

"I'm not a small child!" Bobby replied. "I'm eighteen!"

"And I didn't teach you a swear word, so there you go."

"Oh. Right."

Right then, a very pissed-off looking Wanda came over, grabbed Jubilee's arm, and dragged her off.

"Have fun doing dishes!" Bobby said, twiddling his fingers at them.

"You're very rude to her, you know."

"And you're very rude to me, but you don't hear me complaining."

"Oui, but I don't have a thing for you the size of the Eiffel Tower."

"Why does everyone say that!" Bobby cried.

"Because it's true?"

"Is not."

"I will not stoop to your level."

"It's not true."

"I'm not taking the bait."

"It's not!"

Jean-Paul made an exasperated noise. "It is too. SATISFIED!"

"You're really weird."

"Says Super Pie Man."

"But it's really good pie!"

"I wish I had a chalkboard so I could keep track of how many times you've said that."

"I'm gonna keep saying it until you try the pie."

"And I'm not going to. I don't like pie."

"Which proves that you are as I first assumed."

"Which is?"

"Completely crazy."

"That's been said, oui."

"Crazy, gay, and famous. You do not have a lot going for you, man."

"Thank you for informing me of that. I shall go quietly cry in the corner, bemoaning my wasted, gay life."

"I'm not saying it because you're gay!" Bobby objected. "You're just an asshole."

"This is true."

"Damn straight it is."

Jean-Paul got up. "Excuse me a moment." He walked off.

Bobby got a crafty smile on his face and followed.

Jean-Paul walked into the bathroom. After a moment, Bobby came over and leaned against the wall by the door.

When Jean-Paul came out, Bobby all but tackled him.

&&&

"Ok, kid," said Wanda. "It's a ghost town in here now, so guess what we get to do?"

"You only take on that screamingly sarcastic cheerful tone when..."

Wanda handed her a mop. "Yep, we get to clean the men's bathroom."

Jubilee groaned.

"Cheer up! This is why you took this job!"

A FEW MINUTES LATER...

"You open it."

"No, you open it."

"I pull seniority."

Jubilee muttered something that probably wasn't very nice, but pushed open the door.

Leaning against the wall of said bathroom and macking heavily were Bobby and Jean-Paul.

Jubilee stared for a moment. Then her mop clattered to the ground as she fell over in a dead faint.

"...Would you guys get a stall?" Wanda demanded, after determining that Jubilee wasn't dead.

"Hi Wanda," said Bobby.

It took Jean-Paul a moment longer to get his composure back. "Is she ok?" he asked, pointing down at Jubilee.

"She's just suffering from a severe case of shock. Would you move so I can scrub the pheremones off the wall, please?"

Jean-Paul and Bobby exchanged glances, and then decided now would be a good time to leave.

They went back to their table, at which Bobby resumed eating his pie. "You taste like that merde," Jean-Paul commented.

"I am assuming," said Bobby, without looking up, "that the word merde means something rude and disgusting in French, neither of which describe this pie."

"You assume correctly." He drummed his fingers on the table. "So do you treat all of your conquests like that?"

"To be honest, I've never kissed a guy before," Bobby replied, tapping his index fingers together and looking a little sheepish. "I had a few girlfriends in freshman year, but..."

"Nothing doing?"

"Exactly."

"A shopkeeper friend of mine pretty much smacked me to get me to understand."

"Ah."

And that, of course, was when Jubilee came over. She had a rather nasty bump on her head and an even nastier scowl. "Robert Francis Drake!" she cried. "Why didn't you just say you were gay!" She slapped him across the face. Hard. And then she walked off, trying to maintain her dignity.

"Ouch," said Jean-Paul.

"I second that," Bobby muttered, rubbing his cheek. "That's gonna leave a mark."

Wanda came over. She leaned against the booth, panting a little. "Man it is hard to book in this uniform." She glanced at Bobby. "I'm assuming by the bright red slap mark that Jubes has already been by here?"

"Yep," said Bobby. "I'm assuming by the fact that you knew that Jubes would slap me that you have an idea of what the hell is going on?"

Wanda stared at him for a second, and then started to laugh. "Oh my GOD. Jubilee and Marie said you didn't know, but I never believed them... Oh, GOD this is rich..."

"What," Bobby demanded, "are you TALKING about!"

"Did you once stop to think about your best friend?" Wanda asked, putting one hand on her hip and the other on the table. "Did you ever consider that all her weird behavior might be because she's been crushing on you since, like, the sixth grade?"

Bobby's jaw dropped.

"You know, you look kind of like a fish when you do that," Jean-Paul commented.

"...You're not serious."

"As a matter of fact, I am. Everyone else here has already figured it out. You're just perpetually clueless."

"Yes, yes I am." He paused. He raised a hand. "Can I sign for that ton of bricks, please?"

Wanda snorted. "And if you want to keep up any vestige of friendship with her, I suggest you go talk to her. She's cleaning the bathroom."

"You know, I wondered why you guys were coming in there..."

"Pervert." Wanda walked off.

"Go on, then," said Jean-Paul, flicking his fingers at Bobby.

&&&

Bobby found Jubilee in the men's bathroom, scrubbing obstinately at a rude word on the condom machine. She glanced over, and after a second, her face became blank. "I'm not mad," she said. "Minorly pissed, but not mad."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"Not to a girl, it isn't."

"Oh. Right. Girl-ese. Forgot. So... you're not mad?"

"I just said that. I'm minorly pissed because you could have just said you were gay and spared me the bitterness."

Bobby rubbed his neck. "It's... you know... not that simple."

Jubilee raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, so it is that simple. But it's also pretty awkward. What was I supposed to say, 'What did I do over my summer vacation? Oh, I just discovered I was gay, that's all. So what did you do?'"

"...I guess..."

"So we're cool right?"

"No, I'm going to be heartbroken for at least a week more, but I'll suffer through it."

Bobby smiled at her. "Good girl. You missed a spot, by the way."

Jubilee held out her bottle of cleaning fluid like a gun at him. "Out, foul spot! Out!"

Bobby got the hint and left.

After he exited, Jubilee sat down with a whump, rubbing at her eyes. "Stupid Bobby," she muttered. "Why do I even like him? He's an idiot."

A short, hairy man came into the bathroom. Jubilee stared. Short and hairy he might've been, but Jubilee liked him right away.

"Do you mind?" he said.

"What, do you need a condom?"

The man glared at her. "It's hard to pee with a girl starin' at you, firecracker."

Jubilee flipped her hair over her shoulder and walked out. As soon as she did, she dropped her composure. I wonder what his phone number is...

&&&

"So..." said Bobby, sitting back down at his booth. "Why are you waiting for your sister, anyway? Why don't you just call a cab?"

"Well..." Jean-Paul began to fiddle with a napkin.

"You're fiddling."

"What?"

"You're fiddling. Spit it out."

"Well... I was going to go back to France as soon as she showed up, 'cause you know, we've only got one private jet, but now..." That sexy smirk was back.

"But now..." Bobby prompted, not one to wait for anything.

"But now I may just have to stick around a while longer."

"So you like America?"

"No, I hate it with a passion that burns hotter than a thousand suns, but I have to admit, not all of you are bad..."

"That's better than nothing, anyway."

Jubilee interrupted a comfortable silence, sitting down by Bobby, a smirk on her face.

"We're cool, right?" Bobby asked.

"What else?" she replied, humming to herself.

"Why are you so cheerful?"

She cast a meaningful glance at a grumpy man in a corner booth.

"He's at least twenty years older than you," Jean-Paul pointed out.

"So I go for older men."

"Don't you have something better to do then stare at creepy old guys?" Bobby asked, pulling a squicked face.

"He's got a nice ass," Jean-Paul admitted, as the man walked out of the cafe.

"Not you t- hey, you're right..."

"I saw him first, I get dibs!"

Jean-Paul followed the man with his eyes as he walked down to the bus stop, and then spotted someone. "Hey, there's Aurora!" He grabbed Bobby. "Come on!"

Sitting out on the bus stop bench was a girl who looked exactly like Jean-Paul in some kind of gender-switch mirror. She was very... involved with a tall, bear-ish man.

Jean-Paul walked up behind the bench and cleared his throat.

Aurora held up a finger. After a second she broke it off with the man, winking at him. She glanced over at Jean-Paul. "So you found a way to... entertain yourself?" She nodded at Bobby.

Jean-Paul was Not Amused. "Very funny," he replied. "And how long did you spend making out with him," he nodded at her boyfriend, "before you remembered you were supposed to come find me?"

She glanced at him. "Twenty minutes, would you say?"

"It was longer than that!"

"Don't flatter yourself, sweetie," she replied, tapping his chest. She glanced at Bobby again. "He's not coming on the plane with us."

Jean-Paul rolled his eyes. "Oh, fine," he muttered. He put a card in Bobby's hand. "Call me sometime." He winked at Bobby.

Bobby stared at him for a second, then at the card, then back at Jean-Paul. Oh, as if! He grabbed Jean-Paul by the shoulders and kissed him.

"Oh, get a ROOM!" Aurora yelled, looking squicked.

"How do you think I felt?" Jean-Paul returned, looking slightly dazed for such a retort.

"You have the sarcasm on speed dial, don't you?" said Bobby.

"It's a French thing."

"It's sexy."

Aurora pulled a face. She grabbed Jean-Paul by the hand. "Come on, little brother, we've got a plane to catch."

Bobby waved at the retreating group, a goofy smile on his face.

"Wipe that grin off your face, boy," said Jubilee, slinging an arm around his shoulder.

"Why should I? I have an incredibly sexy best friend and an even sexier French-Canadian boyfriend. What more could anybody ask for?"

"Damn straight!"

(You see, this chapter, is a prime example of what NOT to expect from the rest of this story. It's not really long, it came out quickly, and it's slash. The others will hopefully be longer, but will take me longer, and are all straight couples. This was just for my fun. Oh, btw, I happen to like two canon couples that wouldn't work in Evo- Bobby/JP and Jubilee/Logan. Review!)