A/N Please give Feedback, good or bad is always appreciated and adored and
especially encouraging to write another chapter. Also don't forget to check
out Illusion of Sin, it's another fic by me. It's new and I worked really
hard on it so I hope you'll like it and please give feedback on it too!
Good and bad is really appreciated. Just copy and paste the link
Thanks for Reading and Enjoy!
Recap:
Kat arrives back from agent training, quite unexpected.
Redemption
Chapter Fifty Four
If ever there was a perfect dream to be interrupted, it was his and Eric Weiss fought tooth and nail
He stood on the darkened stage in a black tuxedo with tails. The starched white collar was decidedly annoying as it scratched at his neck. He donned a top hat to complete the look. The audience thundered its applause as he made a sweeping bow, the fog rolling in around his ankles. "And now for my next trick... Eric wake up," a faint voice called to him.
"Go away," he mumbled still content on finishing his dream. The audience was still waiting for him.
"Please."
"No." The pleading voice sounded so familiar to him as he tried to ignore the constant bouncing around him.
"Pretty please."
He grumbled sleepily and then heard a deep heavy sigh and felt an unfamiliar weight against his chest. His chest felt heavy as he breathed in and out still clinging to the dreamt image in his mind. He was curious as to the source of the weight, but was also reluctant to fully wake. He didn't feel threatened. He could still see the audience in his mind the cheering and clapping, urging him on. Light fingers gently tapped his cheek and he twitched slightly at the annoyance and tried to slap the offending movement with his hand.
"Come on," he groaned grumpily as the image of the audience slipped from his mind and he was forced to open his eyes. It took a few seconds in his sleep-induced daze to recognize the scene before him.
The lightweight he felt on his chest was a body. A relatively small body that straddled his hips and lay down on his chest. Her hands were folded; her fingers interlaced on his chest and her chin rested on them. Her eyes were large and innocent waiting in anticipation staring him right in the eyes.
"What the- Jesus Kat!" Weiss jumped slightly recognizing that it was an actual person sitting on him.
"Finally you're awake." Kat let out a dramatic sigh as she pulled her chest off his and sat up still sitting on his waist.
Weiss pulled his body up slightly so he was leaning against the headboard. He rubbed his eyes and blinked several times to get a better look at her. Her head was cocked to one side with that wide-eyed child like innocent look that only she could deliver after breaking and entering.
She seemed older. Her hair was much longer than he remembered, now reaching about half way down her back. She no longer straightened it and she wore it loose and curled with the sides twisted together and held back by a clip. She was wearing a pink tank top and denim shorts. Although she didn't look much bigger, it was clearly evident that she'd built up a lot of muscle during her three-month training regime.
Weiss checked the alarm clock beside his head. It was only eight am. "What are you doing here? How did you get in, didn't I set the alarm?" He rubbed his eyes tiredly as he rambled his questions and then ran a hand through his hair which was stuck out at odd angles.
"I wanted to see you," she gave him a look of annoyance. "And yes you did set the alarm, I just did a little creative rewiring and lock picking."
"Is that what they're teaching you in Spy School these days-how to break and enter into your friends homes. Why couldn't you ring the doorbell like a normal person?" Weiss yawned loudly and shut his eyes suddenly grateful for the fact that he was wearing sweat pants and a T-shirt. Only Kat would have the guts to break into the house of someone she hadn't seen in three months and wake them out of a dead sleep.
"Don't worry, I'll wire it back the way it was. Besides it was early, real early."
Weiss cracked one eye open. "8 AM on a Saturday morning is early 'Shiner, how long have you been here?"
"Couple hours," She shrugged. "Since like five."
"What!" He stretched groaning as the kinks popped out of his arms and back.
"Jet lag," she explained simply. "I got back last night and I couldn't sleep anymore."
"Who else knows you're back?"
"Just you, Sydney, Vaughn and my dad. Come to the beach with me?" she requested.
"What? Kat it's 8 O'clock on a Saturday morning. I didn't get in until three last night."
"Please," she begged. "It's my last two days of freedom."
"What are you talking about?" Weiss yawned loudly shutting his eyes once more.
"Eric," Kat pinched his cheek lightly and was rewarded with a deep growl as he was forced to open his eyes. "I'm done now. I'm CIA. I start work on Monday."
"Serious?"
"Yes." She nodded rolling her eyes at him. "Please?"
"It's too early," he groaned and sat up. Despite her protests he lifted her off his body and dropped her beside his legs. Laying back down he turned on his side and pulled the duvet up to his chin.
Heaving a large sigh she flopped down beside him and kicked her legs under the duvet.
Weiss closed his eyes again, trying to ignore Kat's restless turning beside him. She kept kicking his legs so it was a little difficult to ignore. "Alright, alright you win!" he turned over to face her.
"Really?" she propped her head up with her hand.
"Yes we'll go to the beach. Just let me wake up and take a shower alright."
"You're awesome," she leaned over and kissed his cheek before standing up on the bed and walking over him to the other side. Instinctively he reached up and grabbed her by the waist as she walked over his form to prevent her from stepping some place she shouldn't. "I'll make you breakfast." She jumped off the bed landing with a loud thump. "How about pancakes? You like pancakes right?"
"Sure Kat." Weiss rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. "Hmm," he mumbled into the soft fabric. "Pancakes sound good. Panca- Kat no!" he shouted literally jumping out of his bed in an effort to get to the kitchen as fast as he could. He nearly skidded into the wall as he reached the kitchen. Kat was staring out the living room window a box in her hand. Weiss had to call her name twice before she responded and turned to him.
"Yeah?"
"You were kidding right, about the pancakes?"
Kat laughed and held up the cereal box she was holding.
"Thank God," he sighed in relief.
"You thought I was serious," she grinned.
Weiss walked over to her. "You and your domestic skills, or lack there of are never allowed in my kitchen. I like the color of my kitchen." He took the box from her and set it on the counter.
"Come on, Sydney liked the paint job, though I still say we should have painted the ceiling."
"Yeah and my ass would have been on the roof," he laughed. She laughed as well but her heart wasn't in it. "You okay?" he asked.
"Sure," she nodded. "I'm just happy to be home. I missed LA."
"Come here," Weiss put an arm around her shoulders and drew her to him. "LA is happy to have you home," he said giving her a friendly hug. "Everyone missed you."
"Thanks Eric, I missed you too." She gave him a genuine smile.
"Alright," he pulled away from her. "Let me take a shower then I'll take you out for breakfast and to the beach."
She nodded and turned back to the window. "Sounds great."
Weiss padded back to the hallway and stood for a moment watching her. She was sad, something wasn't quite right.
He had a much better handle on Kat now. More often now, he could tell when she was falsifying happiness. Today she was. He watched her through breakfast, laughing at his jokes and making a few of her own. She picked at her breakfast barely eating anything preferring to simply move it around on her plate as she usually did when she was upset. As Eric paid the bill and signed his visa slip, he caught her watching a young child with great interest and it was then that he realized what had her so upset.
The waitress handed his credit card back and he slipped it in his pocket watching Kat for a few more moments. She turned and caught his eye. Shaking her head she laughed at him and made a face like she usually did when she caught him watching her.
He did that a lot... watched her, but to him, the reason was unknown-he just did it. 'God Kat, why didn't you say anything,' he thought to himself. Weiss gave her a smile deciding not to press her, to let her come to him when she was ready.
"Don't do it Kat. I'm warning you don't-"
Weiss' pleas were ignored as Kat splashed a bucket full of water on him.
"That was supposed to be for the moat," he grumbled flicking the salt water in her direction.
"So what I'll get some more. "Kat grabbed another bucket and took off down to the ocean line. She and Weiss had arrived at the beach shortly after breakfast and had set at building a village of castles in the mid July heat.
Jack had been watching the two construct an elaborate castle under Kat's careful instruction for quite some time and with Kat finally separated from Agent Weiss he approached the younger man. "I wasn't aware you had such an artistic side."
Weiss stood up quickly brushing the sand from his hands. "Agent Bristow?" He was surprised, unable to believe that Jack Bristow was standing on the beach in a dark business suit.
Jack removed his sunglasses and slipped them into his breast pocket. "How is she?" he asked crossing his arms over his chest as they watched Kat help a few random little girls fill up some sandbuckets with water.
"She's..." Weiss shrugged. "Do you know what today is?" he asked carefully watching Kat interact with the children.
"I know."
"She's doing what she does best," Weiss said honestly. "Pretending like there's nothing wrong."
Jack nodded understanding completely. "Agent Weiss I have a request." He turned to face Weiss. "Sydney and I are going to be occupied for the next two days, as will Agent Vaughn and Tippin. Could Katarina stay with you?"
"Sure," he shrugged. "What's going on?"
Jack handed Eric a knapsack. "I've packed some of her clothes. I'm going to tell her that we will be out of town." Kat turned and spotted Jack and Weiss watching her and she walked quickly back to them. "Sydney will call you later with the details. Watch what she's eating, she tends to get a little reckless when she's upset."
"Of course." Weiss gave Kat a smile as she walked up to them.
"What is it? Is everything okay?" Kat asked urgently.
"Everything is fine Katarina." Jack reached out and brushed a few strands of hair away from her face.
"What's wrong? I left a note."
"I got it thank you." And he was thankful to find a note after waking up at six in the morning to find her bed empty. "Katarina, would you take a walk with me?"
"You'll get sand in your shoes," she laughed looking down at his polished black leather shoes that were already coated in a fine layer of dusty sand.
Weiss had to hold in his laughter as Jack stepped onto a beach blanket and removed his socks and shoes. After folding up the cuffs he stood up and held out his hand to his daughter.
Clearly surprised Kat gave Weiss a look before taking his hand and they walked down the beach.
"What's going on?" she asked after a few moments of silence.
Jack's pace slowed until he stopped. He turned to face Kat. "You look different," he tugged slightly at a lock of hair that had fallen out of its clip. "Older."
"It was only three months Jack-"
"How's your back?" he interrupted.
"My back?" Confused Kat turned her back to him so he could see for himself. She was wearing a simple black bathing suit and denim shorts to cover the scars. "It's fine."
"They healed nicely," he said gently touching the scars that Viktor Melnikov had inflicted upon her using his belt. Jack put an arm around her shoulders as they started walking again. Kat reached to her side and took his hand squeezing it gently.
"Jack, you're starting to scare me," she said softly. "Is Sydney okay, have I done something?"
"No," he shook his head. "Sydney is fine and you haven't done anything wrong." Spotting a bench slightly up from the shoreline he walked her towards it. "I'm going to be away on business in Paris for a few days. Sydney and Agent Vaughn are also on an operation and won't be back until Monday at the earliest. For the time being I'd like you to stay with Agent Weiss, is that alright?" When Kat nodded her approval he moved on. "Katarina, I know what today is."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Instinctively Kat drew her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees hugging them in protection.
"I saw your sketch book, you're drawing him again." Jack gently prodded her knowing this wasn't going to be easy, his daughter had already gone completely rigid and pulled away from his touch. "Katarina, you need to stop this obsession. Continuing to want something you can never have will destroy you."
"Maybe he's what keeps me going." Angrily Kat stood and ran towards the shoreline. Kicking her feet in the wet sand, she dug her toes in and clenched her hands into fists; her entire body shook in anger. Who was he to tell her what to do how to feel? She breathed deeply and blinked away the tears. She would not lose it in front of him; she would not show weakness or cry in front of him.
Jack allowed her a few moments by herself to calm down before following. "Sweetheart," he touched her shoulder and as expected she pulled away. Kat took a step back and watched with a sudden fascination as the waves pulled them out to sea leaving a smooth surface in their wake.
"The ocean is taking them out to sea," Jack said softly in her ear.
"To play with the dolphins." She looked up at Jack's surprised face. "Irina used to say that," she explained. "She used to take me to the Jersey shore when I was little."
"I used to tell Sydney that when she was young." Jack explained. "Laura and I would take her to the beach often. They both loved it."
"That would explain it," Kat stepped on the wet sand and made new footprints. She stepped back allowing the wave to wash them away. "She used to get this look in her eye, like she wasn't really all there. She must have been remembering Sydney."
Jack put a firm hand on her shoulder and guided Kat away from the water's edge. "Katarina, I am not asking you to forget him, or to diminish his importance to you but I cannot blindly stand by while you torture yourself. I see what it is doing to you. Thinking about him constantly is killing you."
"He's my-"
"I understand," Jack interrupted. "He's happy and safe and he will remain so but I will not allow his existence to depreciate your happiness."
"You don't understand-"Kat kicked the sand and took off running.
"Katarina." Jack called her name sharply and she slowed to a walk waiting until he caught up with her.
"I am not trying to hurt you." Jack walked with his hands at his sides unable to physically touch her or offer any form of comfort. "But you are only hurting yourself and I do not want that to continue. You can love him, but by constantly yearning for what you can't have, you're destroying yourself." Kat kept her gaze locked on her feet as she walked not wanting to look up at him even for a moment.
"I don't know," she said softly.
"What do you mean?" he pressed her gently.
"I don't know if I feel this way because I love him or because I think I'm supposed to. I don't know if it's what I want, or if it's just what I think I want."
"I don't believe there is a right or a wrong answer to that question." Jack stopped walking as they neared Weiss and he turned Kat to face him. "I'm not asking you to forget him sweetheart. I'm just asking you to put the past behind you. Moving on does not mean you're forgetting him or feeling that he is of any less importance. It gives you the chance to be happy. Your happiness is important to me."
Kat stayed silent, her eyes cast down at the sand.
Leaning down slightly he kissed the top of her head. "We'll talk more when I get back. Be good," he added with a slight smile.
She watched him go. It was the strangest image. Amongst the crowd in bathing suits, shorts, and t-shirts, her father stood in a black suit in a place she would have never expected. She turned back to the ocean blinking the tears from her eyes.
Maybe her father was right. Maybe she would never know if she truly loved him. Falsifying emotions came so naturally to her that sometimes even she couldn't tell the difference, between what was real, and what was not. They were blending together into something she could no longer control and that frightened her. Control had always been her strength; it was what enabled her to survive for all those years. Distance from pure emotions had kept her alive. This confusion that she felt threatened to overwhelm her.
"Are you okay?"
She flinched at the sound of his voice, but turned and nodded. "Of course."
"Good." Weiss grabbed her suddenly and tossed her over his shoulder. Running into the waves he ignored her laughter and pleas to be put down as he threatened to drop in the surf. Eventually he gave in and set her down in the cool waters. Kat began to walk back but suddenly turned and jumped on Weiss pushing them both into the water. They came up sputtering and spitting out salt water. Laughter filled the air as the two splashed back and forth on the hot mid-July day.
A/N Please give Feedback, good or bad is always appreciated and adored and especially encouraging to write another chapter. Also don't forget to check out Illusion of Sin, it's another fic by me. It's new and I worked really hard on it so I hope you'll like it and please give feedback on it too! Good and bad is really appreciated. Just copy and paste the link Thanks for Reading Erin
Recap:
Kat arrives back from agent training, quite unexpected.
Redemption
Chapter Fifty Four
If ever there was a perfect dream to be interrupted, it was his and Eric Weiss fought tooth and nail
He stood on the darkened stage in a black tuxedo with tails. The starched white collar was decidedly annoying as it scratched at his neck. He donned a top hat to complete the look. The audience thundered its applause as he made a sweeping bow, the fog rolling in around his ankles. "And now for my next trick... Eric wake up," a faint voice called to him.
"Go away," he mumbled still content on finishing his dream. The audience was still waiting for him.
"Please."
"No." The pleading voice sounded so familiar to him as he tried to ignore the constant bouncing around him.
"Pretty please."
He grumbled sleepily and then heard a deep heavy sigh and felt an unfamiliar weight against his chest. His chest felt heavy as he breathed in and out still clinging to the dreamt image in his mind. He was curious as to the source of the weight, but was also reluctant to fully wake. He didn't feel threatened. He could still see the audience in his mind the cheering and clapping, urging him on. Light fingers gently tapped his cheek and he twitched slightly at the annoyance and tried to slap the offending movement with his hand.
"Come on," he groaned grumpily as the image of the audience slipped from his mind and he was forced to open his eyes. It took a few seconds in his sleep-induced daze to recognize the scene before him.
The lightweight he felt on his chest was a body. A relatively small body that straddled his hips and lay down on his chest. Her hands were folded; her fingers interlaced on his chest and her chin rested on them. Her eyes were large and innocent waiting in anticipation staring him right in the eyes.
"What the- Jesus Kat!" Weiss jumped slightly recognizing that it was an actual person sitting on him.
"Finally you're awake." Kat let out a dramatic sigh as she pulled her chest off his and sat up still sitting on his waist.
Weiss pulled his body up slightly so he was leaning against the headboard. He rubbed his eyes and blinked several times to get a better look at her. Her head was cocked to one side with that wide-eyed child like innocent look that only she could deliver after breaking and entering.
She seemed older. Her hair was much longer than he remembered, now reaching about half way down her back. She no longer straightened it and she wore it loose and curled with the sides twisted together and held back by a clip. She was wearing a pink tank top and denim shorts. Although she didn't look much bigger, it was clearly evident that she'd built up a lot of muscle during her three-month training regime.
Weiss checked the alarm clock beside his head. It was only eight am. "What are you doing here? How did you get in, didn't I set the alarm?" He rubbed his eyes tiredly as he rambled his questions and then ran a hand through his hair which was stuck out at odd angles.
"I wanted to see you," she gave him a look of annoyance. "And yes you did set the alarm, I just did a little creative rewiring and lock picking."
"Is that what they're teaching you in Spy School these days-how to break and enter into your friends homes. Why couldn't you ring the doorbell like a normal person?" Weiss yawned loudly and shut his eyes suddenly grateful for the fact that he was wearing sweat pants and a T-shirt. Only Kat would have the guts to break into the house of someone she hadn't seen in three months and wake them out of a dead sleep.
"Don't worry, I'll wire it back the way it was. Besides it was early, real early."
Weiss cracked one eye open. "8 AM on a Saturday morning is early 'Shiner, how long have you been here?"
"Couple hours," She shrugged. "Since like five."
"What!" He stretched groaning as the kinks popped out of his arms and back.
"Jet lag," she explained simply. "I got back last night and I couldn't sleep anymore."
"Who else knows you're back?"
"Just you, Sydney, Vaughn and my dad. Come to the beach with me?" she requested.
"What? Kat it's 8 O'clock on a Saturday morning. I didn't get in until three last night."
"Please," she begged. "It's my last two days of freedom."
"What are you talking about?" Weiss yawned loudly shutting his eyes once more.
"Eric," Kat pinched his cheek lightly and was rewarded with a deep growl as he was forced to open his eyes. "I'm done now. I'm CIA. I start work on Monday."
"Serious?"
"Yes." She nodded rolling her eyes at him. "Please?"
"It's too early," he groaned and sat up. Despite her protests he lifted her off his body and dropped her beside his legs. Laying back down he turned on his side and pulled the duvet up to his chin.
Heaving a large sigh she flopped down beside him and kicked her legs under the duvet.
Weiss closed his eyes again, trying to ignore Kat's restless turning beside him. She kept kicking his legs so it was a little difficult to ignore. "Alright, alright you win!" he turned over to face her.
"Really?" she propped her head up with her hand.
"Yes we'll go to the beach. Just let me wake up and take a shower alright."
"You're awesome," she leaned over and kissed his cheek before standing up on the bed and walking over him to the other side. Instinctively he reached up and grabbed her by the waist as she walked over his form to prevent her from stepping some place she shouldn't. "I'll make you breakfast." She jumped off the bed landing with a loud thump. "How about pancakes? You like pancakes right?"
"Sure Kat." Weiss rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. "Hmm," he mumbled into the soft fabric. "Pancakes sound good. Panca- Kat no!" he shouted literally jumping out of his bed in an effort to get to the kitchen as fast as he could. He nearly skidded into the wall as he reached the kitchen. Kat was staring out the living room window a box in her hand. Weiss had to call her name twice before she responded and turned to him.
"Yeah?"
"You were kidding right, about the pancakes?"
Kat laughed and held up the cereal box she was holding.
"Thank God," he sighed in relief.
"You thought I was serious," she grinned.
Weiss walked over to her. "You and your domestic skills, or lack there of are never allowed in my kitchen. I like the color of my kitchen." He took the box from her and set it on the counter.
"Come on, Sydney liked the paint job, though I still say we should have painted the ceiling."
"Yeah and my ass would have been on the roof," he laughed. She laughed as well but her heart wasn't in it. "You okay?" he asked.
"Sure," she nodded. "I'm just happy to be home. I missed LA."
"Come here," Weiss put an arm around her shoulders and drew her to him. "LA is happy to have you home," he said giving her a friendly hug. "Everyone missed you."
"Thanks Eric, I missed you too." She gave him a genuine smile.
"Alright," he pulled away from her. "Let me take a shower then I'll take you out for breakfast and to the beach."
She nodded and turned back to the window. "Sounds great."
Weiss padded back to the hallway and stood for a moment watching her. She was sad, something wasn't quite right.
He had a much better handle on Kat now. More often now, he could tell when she was falsifying happiness. Today she was. He watched her through breakfast, laughing at his jokes and making a few of her own. She picked at her breakfast barely eating anything preferring to simply move it around on her plate as she usually did when she was upset. As Eric paid the bill and signed his visa slip, he caught her watching a young child with great interest and it was then that he realized what had her so upset.
The waitress handed his credit card back and he slipped it in his pocket watching Kat for a few more moments. She turned and caught his eye. Shaking her head she laughed at him and made a face like she usually did when she caught him watching her.
He did that a lot... watched her, but to him, the reason was unknown-he just did it. 'God Kat, why didn't you say anything,' he thought to himself. Weiss gave her a smile deciding not to press her, to let her come to him when she was ready.
"Don't do it Kat. I'm warning you don't-"
Weiss' pleas were ignored as Kat splashed a bucket full of water on him.
"That was supposed to be for the moat," he grumbled flicking the salt water in her direction.
"So what I'll get some more. "Kat grabbed another bucket and took off down to the ocean line. She and Weiss had arrived at the beach shortly after breakfast and had set at building a village of castles in the mid July heat.
Jack had been watching the two construct an elaborate castle under Kat's careful instruction for quite some time and with Kat finally separated from Agent Weiss he approached the younger man. "I wasn't aware you had such an artistic side."
Weiss stood up quickly brushing the sand from his hands. "Agent Bristow?" He was surprised, unable to believe that Jack Bristow was standing on the beach in a dark business suit.
Jack removed his sunglasses and slipped them into his breast pocket. "How is she?" he asked crossing his arms over his chest as they watched Kat help a few random little girls fill up some sandbuckets with water.
"She's..." Weiss shrugged. "Do you know what today is?" he asked carefully watching Kat interact with the children.
"I know."
"She's doing what she does best," Weiss said honestly. "Pretending like there's nothing wrong."
Jack nodded understanding completely. "Agent Weiss I have a request." He turned to face Weiss. "Sydney and I are going to be occupied for the next two days, as will Agent Vaughn and Tippin. Could Katarina stay with you?"
"Sure," he shrugged. "What's going on?"
Jack handed Eric a knapsack. "I've packed some of her clothes. I'm going to tell her that we will be out of town." Kat turned and spotted Jack and Weiss watching her and she walked quickly back to them. "Sydney will call you later with the details. Watch what she's eating, she tends to get a little reckless when she's upset."
"Of course." Weiss gave Kat a smile as she walked up to them.
"What is it? Is everything okay?" Kat asked urgently.
"Everything is fine Katarina." Jack reached out and brushed a few strands of hair away from her face.
"What's wrong? I left a note."
"I got it thank you." And he was thankful to find a note after waking up at six in the morning to find her bed empty. "Katarina, would you take a walk with me?"
"You'll get sand in your shoes," she laughed looking down at his polished black leather shoes that were already coated in a fine layer of dusty sand.
Weiss had to hold in his laughter as Jack stepped onto a beach blanket and removed his socks and shoes. After folding up the cuffs he stood up and held out his hand to his daughter.
Clearly surprised Kat gave Weiss a look before taking his hand and they walked down the beach.
"What's going on?" she asked after a few moments of silence.
Jack's pace slowed until he stopped. He turned to face Kat. "You look different," he tugged slightly at a lock of hair that had fallen out of its clip. "Older."
"It was only three months Jack-"
"How's your back?" he interrupted.
"My back?" Confused Kat turned her back to him so he could see for himself. She was wearing a simple black bathing suit and denim shorts to cover the scars. "It's fine."
"They healed nicely," he said gently touching the scars that Viktor Melnikov had inflicted upon her using his belt. Jack put an arm around her shoulders as they started walking again. Kat reached to her side and took his hand squeezing it gently.
"Jack, you're starting to scare me," she said softly. "Is Sydney okay, have I done something?"
"No," he shook his head. "Sydney is fine and you haven't done anything wrong." Spotting a bench slightly up from the shoreline he walked her towards it. "I'm going to be away on business in Paris for a few days. Sydney and Agent Vaughn are also on an operation and won't be back until Monday at the earliest. For the time being I'd like you to stay with Agent Weiss, is that alright?" When Kat nodded her approval he moved on. "Katarina, I know what today is."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Instinctively Kat drew her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees hugging them in protection.
"I saw your sketch book, you're drawing him again." Jack gently prodded her knowing this wasn't going to be easy, his daughter had already gone completely rigid and pulled away from his touch. "Katarina, you need to stop this obsession. Continuing to want something you can never have will destroy you."
"Maybe he's what keeps me going." Angrily Kat stood and ran towards the shoreline. Kicking her feet in the wet sand, she dug her toes in and clenched her hands into fists; her entire body shook in anger. Who was he to tell her what to do how to feel? She breathed deeply and blinked away the tears. She would not lose it in front of him; she would not show weakness or cry in front of him.
Jack allowed her a few moments by herself to calm down before following. "Sweetheart," he touched her shoulder and as expected she pulled away. Kat took a step back and watched with a sudden fascination as the waves pulled them out to sea leaving a smooth surface in their wake.
"The ocean is taking them out to sea," Jack said softly in her ear.
"To play with the dolphins." She looked up at Jack's surprised face. "Irina used to say that," she explained. "She used to take me to the Jersey shore when I was little."
"I used to tell Sydney that when she was young." Jack explained. "Laura and I would take her to the beach often. They both loved it."
"That would explain it," Kat stepped on the wet sand and made new footprints. She stepped back allowing the wave to wash them away. "She used to get this look in her eye, like she wasn't really all there. She must have been remembering Sydney."
Jack put a firm hand on her shoulder and guided Kat away from the water's edge. "Katarina, I am not asking you to forget him, or to diminish his importance to you but I cannot blindly stand by while you torture yourself. I see what it is doing to you. Thinking about him constantly is killing you."
"He's my-"
"I understand," Jack interrupted. "He's happy and safe and he will remain so but I will not allow his existence to depreciate your happiness."
"You don't understand-"Kat kicked the sand and took off running.
"Katarina." Jack called her name sharply and she slowed to a walk waiting until he caught up with her.
"I am not trying to hurt you." Jack walked with his hands at his sides unable to physically touch her or offer any form of comfort. "But you are only hurting yourself and I do not want that to continue. You can love him, but by constantly yearning for what you can't have, you're destroying yourself." Kat kept her gaze locked on her feet as she walked not wanting to look up at him even for a moment.
"I don't know," she said softly.
"What do you mean?" he pressed her gently.
"I don't know if I feel this way because I love him or because I think I'm supposed to. I don't know if it's what I want, or if it's just what I think I want."
"I don't believe there is a right or a wrong answer to that question." Jack stopped walking as they neared Weiss and he turned Kat to face him. "I'm not asking you to forget him sweetheart. I'm just asking you to put the past behind you. Moving on does not mean you're forgetting him or feeling that he is of any less importance. It gives you the chance to be happy. Your happiness is important to me."
Kat stayed silent, her eyes cast down at the sand.
Leaning down slightly he kissed the top of her head. "We'll talk more when I get back. Be good," he added with a slight smile.
She watched him go. It was the strangest image. Amongst the crowd in bathing suits, shorts, and t-shirts, her father stood in a black suit in a place she would have never expected. She turned back to the ocean blinking the tears from her eyes.
Maybe her father was right. Maybe she would never know if she truly loved him. Falsifying emotions came so naturally to her that sometimes even she couldn't tell the difference, between what was real, and what was not. They were blending together into something she could no longer control and that frightened her. Control had always been her strength; it was what enabled her to survive for all those years. Distance from pure emotions had kept her alive. This confusion that she felt threatened to overwhelm her.
"Are you okay?"
She flinched at the sound of his voice, but turned and nodded. "Of course."
"Good." Weiss grabbed her suddenly and tossed her over his shoulder. Running into the waves he ignored her laughter and pleas to be put down as he threatened to drop in the surf. Eventually he gave in and set her down in the cool waters. Kat began to walk back but suddenly turned and jumped on Weiss pushing them both into the water. They came up sputtering and spitting out salt water. Laughter filled the air as the two splashed back and forth on the hot mid-July day.
A/N Please give Feedback, good or bad is always appreciated and adored and especially encouraging to write another chapter. Also don't forget to check out Illusion of Sin, it's another fic by me. It's new and I worked really hard on it so I hope you'll like it and please give feedback on it too! Good and bad is really appreciated. Just copy and paste the link Thanks for Reading Erin