Spiral Chapter 5.
This is really, really, short. It's just various characters being introspective. Still, I couldn't put half of the next chapter in here because the next chap. really needs to all be together.
---
Stefan could feel his legs shaking as he walked along, and, fearing he would collapse, made his way to a nearby café. A waitress bustled over to him and took his order for hot chocolate with cream and double chocolate cake, looking concerned. She asked if he was feeling alright, and gave him a disbelieving look when he claimed he was fine.
After his reassurances he didn't need any help she nodded, moving away to get his food. He slumped back against the chair, brushing his flaxen hair out of his face with an almost subconscious movement. He felt so dizzy; the shock of the day's event leaving him feeling completely drained. It was still sinking in that he had escaped alive, when he could so easily have died.
He felt better when he'd finished the food he'd ordered – classic comfort food, hot chocolate and cake. The sugar was filling in for the energy he'd spent coping with the confrontation with the magicians.
But there was still a massive problem – what to do now? Now he'd had time to think about it, he rejected out of hand the idea that the magician in charge of the Resistance's capture, the infamous Mandrake, had let him go freely. No. There was almost certainly some kind of tracker on him or something following him.
He wouldn't give in. He'd never go back to his friends if it would mean their deaths.
---
Kitty woke up with the normal mix of depression and tired determination, then remembered the chaos of yesterday. Oh gods. Stefan.
Bartimaeus, standing looking out of the window idly, turned round at Kitty's movement. Kitty looked up at him, rubbing her eyes with an almost feline movement. She mumbled something incomprehensible, blushed slightly, and repeated herself.
"Is there… any chance that Stefan's OK?"
Bartimaeus looked at the floor, unsure over what to say. Kitty knew as well as he did that the chance was next to nothing. He wondered if he should say something comforting, or hug her or something. He wouldn't be able to make her feel better, why should he try?
He turned away, back to watching people pass in the road below him. A few seconds of silence, then he heard her sniff behind him and realised she was crying. He glanced back slightly towards her. Such sentimentality. She was human, after all.
Never mind that she knew there was no chance of saving him, she could not accept that intellectually and she attributed blame for his death to herself. He remembered her rash attempt to rescue her friend from Nathaniel. Such a fatal flaw, the recklessness brought on by love.
"It never gets easier, losing someone to them" Her voice was soft, cracking slightly with emotion. She raised it to a harsh shout:
"Not that you'd understand. You've never cried for anyone!"
She jerked her head to the side and turned away, heading to the only other room n her flat, the bathroom. She slammed the door.
Bartimaeus let himself slide down the wall into a sitting position, pondering the truth of her words. He had fond memories and bad ones, people he liked and ones he despised. None of his feelings for people could be called love.
He could explain it scientifically: djinn do not reproduce sexually, so they do not have the genetic imperative to do so. They don't need to love anyone.
He, inexplicably, felt upset at the thought that he would never understand what lead humans to feel this way about each other.
---
Kitty had regretted the question as soon as it crossed her lips. She had just made a complete idiot of herself, and she knew it. Bartimaeus would probably walk out on her, or just vanish in disgust without even bothering to tell her what a stupid little girl she was being.
Take deep breaths… Calm yourself down.
She splashed water over her face, ran a comb through her hair, gave up on combing it and tied it back, promising herself a shower when she'd talked to Bartimaeus and sorted that out.
She'd lost control of herself, she knew. It wasn't Bartimaeus' fault that Stefan had been captured, and she had no right to shout at him like that. She was just upset.
Would Bartimaeus understand that? He wasn't human, he didn't think like she did.
Whether he would understand or not, she had to apologise. Hopefully he cared enough about the mission of bringing down the magicians he would stay despite her lack of composure.
She wondered if she'd actually hurt his feelings, or just seemed foolish.
Did he care about not being human? Would he be human, given the chance.
That's irrelevant, Kathleen Jones, go and apologise. Whenever she told herself off it was in that voice, her mother's voice. She missed her parents, but in the way you miss someone who's been a part of your life for so long that they become part of your habits, not how you miss someone you can't live without.
She smiled at the thought of her mother telling her to apologise to Bartimaeus, the idea of them knowing each other at all. The life she was leading was already completely foreign to her mother, and the fact a demon was staying in her flat would make it immeasurably more so.
Kathleen, stop procrastinating.
She smiled, walked out to face Bartimaeus.
Please, forgive me.
We can't do this without you.
Well? Like it? Love it? Hate it?
I only got one review last time, thanks LadySamurai. Please, reviews make me write faster! (pleading look)
That button's all lonely… It wants to be clicked!