YESH! The real re-formatted chapter! As I said before, the last chapter I'd forgotten to save. Woops. I also added a bit that wasn't originally there. Yeah, this story scars my mind. And yet, I continue to write it.

Trees and Orcses, Precious: Chapter Two, Bombadil's Bar and Grill

Gollum was extremely nervous. He had never been on a date before (A/N not surprisingly) and did not know what to expect. He cleaned himself off in a stream, and put on his best loincloth. Truthfully, he only had one loincloth… but that's beside the point. See, there's the point, and there's the bit about Gollum only having one loincloth… it's right next to it. See?

On the way to their meeting place, Gollum picked a small bouquet of flowers for Treebeard. As promised, when the sun had set to the point where it touched the tops of the trees, Treebeard arrived. He had straightened out his foliage and was lookin' good! Erm… as good as a walking, talking tree could look… I think…

They stared at each other for a minute. Gollum took the flowers from behind his back. "These are for you," he said, looking down.

Treebeard gasped. "Thank you so!" He immediately took the flowers and re-planted them, using some of his Ent magic to make them grow roots. "Now they can live and grow in peace. It is a horribly thing when plants are ripped from the ground."

Gollum blushed. "We should get going," he said, changing the subject.

They walked through the quiet forest, not speaking to each other. They keep on giving each other furtive little looks when the other wasn't looking. (A/N Like I would be probably be doing, except that I've never really been in that kind of a situation before, and if I was… I'd probably be walking into trees as well and making a big fool of myself… because I'm like that.)

Finally, they reached a small pavilion labeled "Bombadil's Bar and Grill". They entered. Inside, sitting behind the counter, was Bombadil and-- (BOOM! CRASH! BOOM! Forbidding music plays) STOP IT SAVVIE! (A/N at the time I originally wrote this, every time I said "Bombadil, my friend would say… what she said. I don't remember why. I guess she was just weird like that… AND SHE STILL IS!) Yeah, Bombadil and none other than the DWG ( The Deranged Windmill Guy).

(A/N If any of you don't know who the DWG is and have absolutely NO idea what I mean when I talk about the Deranged Windmill Guy… And I'm sure there's quite a bit… just read "Hey, Ocarina! The Cheesy Zelda Musical" by Galaxy Girl. (no longer on for the same reason this story was taken off… script format) 'Tis a Zelda thing… incase you didn't get that. The DWG is a crazy old guy who lives in a windmill in "The Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time". He's obsessed with spinning things… things that go round and round.)

The two of them were talking about the good old days when they used to go about ravaging houses and creeping people out… come to think about it, they still do that. Hehe, oh well. In the background in the DWG's song, "The Song of Storms", was playing.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! I HAVE DONE IT! I HAVE COMBINED TWO GREAT EVILS INTO ONE STORY! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! If this oliphant goes over five miles an hour… it will explode! MWEHEHEHEHEHEEEE! Yeah… ignore that.

Treebeard Looked around, slightly disturbed (who wouldn't be? Oh, right: Gollum) "Is this the right place?" he asked.

"Yes, precious, it is," he responded.

Bombadil walked up to them. "Yo, my hommies! Wazzuuuuup?"

The DWG laughed maniacally. "Spinning, spinning, spinning! Round, round, round! Kill, kill, kill!"

"Don't panic… Don't run…" Treebeard muttered to himself.

"Hullo, precious. We is very good!" Gollum said, shaking Bombadil's hand.

He smiled and looked up at Treebeard. "Sooo, I see you have a friend." Gollum blushed.

"Spinning, spinning, spinning! Round, round, round! Kill, kill, kill!" said the DWG from the corner he was in, playing his weird crank music box.

"What will it be, then? The usual, I suppose; worm spaghetti and raw fish?" He continued as if there had been no disturbance. And then—

"Spinning, spinning, spinning! Round, round, round! Kill, kill, kill!"

"Yes, that is good, precious." Gollum turned to Treebeard. "What would it like?"

Treebeard still looked apprehensive. "Do you have Ent draught?"

Bombadil grinned. "Actually, we do. Where do you want to sit?"

"Spinning, spinning, spi—"

"Please stop," Bombadil told him.

"Stopping, stopping, stopping," the DWG complied.

"Sit? No, I do not sit. I'm not very, hrm, bendable," he said.

"Why doesn't we sit on roof? Then you can stand next to us while we eat, precious!" Gollum suggested.

"Good plan! Good plan!" Bombadil said.

Treebeard lifted Gollum up onto the roof.

"Thank you, my love," he said.

Treebeard looked surprised. " 'My love'? Do you really think we're ready for that now?"

Gollum thought for a moment. "No, perhaps not, precious. We supposes taking things a bit slower is good."

"Don't be hasty," said the Ent.

On ground, next to Treebeard's feet, Bombadil called up. "Ehh, youse don't suppose, you couldn't give me a lift, could you?" Treebeard picked him up. "Thank you." He handed their food and drink to them. "Have a nice time, kids!"

Treebeard raised an eyebrow (assuming he has eyebrows) "Kids?" he asked.

Gollum laughed. "He's really old, precious."

Bombadil looked at him, smiling. "Hey, I may be old, but I'm still kickin'!" He turned to Treebeard. "Could, youse possibly give me a lift down?"

"NOOOOO!" I say and push him off the edge, laughing maniacally. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

Okay, maybe not.

"Here you are," Treebeard said, putting him back down on the ground.

Gollum slurped down his worms and raw fish. "How does it like it, precious?"

Treebeard took a sip of the Ent Draught. "Mmm… very nice. Hoom, hrum."

"Good," Gollum said. They sat (or in Treebeard's case, stand) there for a while, enjoying their food. Words were passed… Hey, you make it up! I don't know what goes on at these things… I'm only 16. What? I'm sure there are a lot of people my age who've never been on a date before. WHAT? Don't give me that look! (A/N at the time I wrote that, I hadn't. However, I don't really count the one I have had… it was just a movie anyway. Yeah…)

Okay, I'm ending it here. It was a little longer than the last chapter. Oh, just be happy I've finally re-formatted it! Sheesh! … No… I don't know what the next chapter is going to be called. You think I would? Silly people… I don't know everything… except when it comes to LOTR. Even then… I'm just gonna go now. Namarie!

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