Fate Can't Deny: Who Says You Can't Go Home?
The soft breeze, warmed her face as she fled down the sidewalk. She struggled through multiple passer byers, in an attempt not collide with them, but didn't entirely succeed.
"Excuse me," she whispered under her breath, having bumped shoulders with a man whom was walking in the opposite direction to where she was heading. She didn't bother to look up, and he didn't seem to be too shaken up over it. It had almost slowed her down, but she wasn't in control anymore, as her emotions went haywire, her actions only followed.
"Sam!" A voice called out. It came from behind her, and easily beat over the constant hum of the crowds. "Samantha!"
Part of her wanted to follow his voice, but the other warned her; told her not to. Her pace quickened as she made her way back to the Gazette building; back to Tristin. Following the familiar route, with only partial vision.
A million thoughts and regrets filled her to the point, she couldn't bare anymore.
Once more, "Sam!"
She turned the corner, finding herself alone on the present path ahead. Every tear that fell down her cheek, dripped off, as some stained her shirt; others her heart. Everything seemed silent, as she stood beneath the fading skies. The sound of her feet hitting the pavement in a rhythmic manner was all the company she had. But it didn't seem to bother her as much as any real company might.
Effortlessly tears still managed to stray from her brown eyes, which trailed their way up and down the passing scenery; full trees, healthy green grass, black driveways and flowers filling flowerbeds everywhere. The summer had been heated and welcoming each and everyday, the warmth lasting to the bone. Rounding another corner, she came face with the Gazette building, and was glad to find the parking lot was almost empty. The large pillars and auburn toned brick, was almost comforting to her. The last thing she needed was to have to try and explain her current array of tears to anyone she may pass.
She used her shoulder to push open the glass doors leading into the seven story building. A burst of hot air followed her in, and mixed itself amongst the overly airconditioned climate. Her eyes; still glazed over with emotion were no use to her.
She gently used her index finger, to push the button; calling the elevator, which arrived immediately. With the back of her hand she was able to be rid of the first signs of tears. The blonde carelessly threw her back against the elevator wall, tilting her head back and squeezing her eyes shut. Only in hope of erasing anything that may have just happened. Choosing the appropriate floor, she rod upwards in the elevator trying to concentrate on the task at hand; retrieving her bookbag.
Almost mechanically, she brought her hands up to her watery eyes, wiping away the salty tears that were welling up inside them. She let one hand travel through her blonde hair as the other cradled her face. Her head was almost pounding from the millions of thoughts running through it. Her emotions running on such a high she thought her heart would constrict.
As Sam heard the elevator door opening she lowered her head even more. She was in no mood to try and hide her current emotions as they intensely ran through her. The elevator dinged as the doors opened wide and she heard the shuffle off feet as someone walked into the small space. At the same time that Sam felt the jolt of the elevator starting back on it's ascent towards the top floor she also felt the strong feeling of someone's eyes locked on her.
Without even bothering to look in the direction of her newly acquired audience, Sam lifted her head and pursed her lips together. "What are you looking at?" she burst out sharply.
"You mean me?" A strangely familiar voice answered. "Oh, I just wonder from room to room."
"Carter?" Sam exclaimed with mild disposition, turning towards him. And as she let her sparkling brown eyes settle on him the little control she had over her emotions snapped and she dissolved into a mess of sobs.
"Who-Wha... Okay, crying girl. Crying Sam... This... can't be good" Carter murmured to both occupants of the elevator.
Burying her face into Carters sharp yet comforting shoulder, Sam let it all go. The stress of class, the b-word and the childhood reunion that may've gotten too friendly. All gloves were off, as she tightly clenched her arms around the only person in the world she felt she could trust at this moment.
The elevator reached the top floor and Carter lead them both carefully out. The door closed cautiously behind them; he didn't dare lead them any further. Unsuspectedly her voice still shaking with tears, broke through what had become one long convulsive weep.
"Everything's so different... I miss home, I miss the diner, I miss my house.. I miss yo-" she exclaimed.
Carter interrupted the blonde in an attempt to reassure her. "I'm right here!"
She continued, "I can't do it anymore. I just can't Carter. I want to go... I don't know where. Just go." Her eyes still moist with tears stared up at him, with hope. Hope he'd make it better; if she couldn't... Carter could. She told herself.
Staring down at her, he saw the same girl he'd known back in California. The face he missed so much was now here in front of him... wet with tears. But not happy tears. Her brown eyes gleamed, silently but surely shouting 'Save me!'. He'd do anything to save her.
"So.. You're not even going to ask me what I'm doing here?" Carter asked sarcastically, at an attempt to lighten the mood. Plastering a goofy smile on his face, he was desperate to at least see her smile. No luck.
Sam's eyes had grown weak and tired from the tears. Once again she attempted to dry them. She didn't care how awful she looked, she was just so happy to see such a friendly and familiar face. Hear a voice. Feel a touch. At that moment something hit her, in the pit of her stomach... She knew what she missed in a whole, was California. Maybe it had been foolish to leave the only place she'd ever known so quickly to chase what seemed to be a hopeless dream, a hopeless life. There was confusion. But even amongst the chaos in her mind... there was California.
"California was my home." she whispered to the ground, in realization.
Carter placed his finger gently beneath her delicate chin, slowly pushing it up to meet his gaze. "Who says you can't go home?"
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If there is a stage at which a single being becomes truly an adult, it must be when they grasp the irony that they must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. But are your dreams really a life you want or a life you have?
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