Mr. Haney had just plucked a purple lollipop from his desk drawer when Nadine rushed into his office. "Principal Haney!" the girl cried out. "D.W. just stole a bottle of mustard from the lunchroom, and she's gonna do something terrible with it!"
"Come again?" said Mr. Haney, straightening his glasses.
Elsewhere, Beat and Molly were conversing while D.W. lurked around a corner, hiding an object behind her back.
"Explain that once more," Molly said to Beat.
"The square root of four is two," said the rabbit-aardvark girl as she pointed at the figures in Molly's notebook. "The square root of two is an irrational number."
"This whole class is irrational, if you ask me," said Molly. The rabbit girl wore a red dress, and her hair was steadily growing to cover her hazel eyes again.
"Maths are important," Beat told her. "You'll need them to make change at Chicken Licken, if for no other reason."
At that instant D.W. popped out of her hiding place, just as Nadine hurried to the scene, Principal Haney in tow. "Hello, what's this?" said Beat curiously.
"D.W., don't do it!" cried Nadine.
Undeterred, D.W. leaped forward, pointed the nozzle of the mustard bottle directly at Molly, and squeezed. Beat scarcely managed to dodge as the stream of mustard landed on Molly's dress, leaving a stringy yellow stain.
"My dress!" exclaimed Molly in horror. "My only dress!"
"Oh, D.W., how could you?" said Nadine with mock indignation.
D.W. responded by squirting another volley of mustard at Molly. Mr. Haney acted quickly, grabbing the bottle from D.W.'s hands, and staining his own hands yellow in the process.
Beat was shocked. "Dora Winifred Read, what are you thinking?"
"It's okay," said Molly, calming down. "I hate this dress, but my dad makes me wear it. Now I can go back to jeans."
Mr. Haney began to drag the smug-looking D.W. away. "You'll be sorry you did that, young lady," he said sternly.
"I'm not a young lady," said D.W. petulantly. "I'm a little girl. You should get your glasses checked."
"You have no right to torment Molly McDonald that way," said Principal Haney after he had seated D.W. on the other side of his desk. "She was a bully once, but she's been a model student ever since her father was released from jail."
"Are you gonna give me detention or not?" said D.W.
"Don't interrupt me," said Mr. Haney. "I've had as much as I can take of you kids making fun of Molly. She should be commended for her…"
"I don't have all day," said D.W., squirming in her seat. "Either give me detention, or I'm outta here."
Mr. Haney seemed to not hear her. "She should be commended for her change of character. As for you, I'll make sure your parents are notified of your…"
Growling impatiently, D.W. grabbed the object on the desk nearest her hand—a framed photo of the principal's late wife—and hurled it with all her might. The picture shattered against the back wall of the office, sending shards of glass onto the floor.
Mr. Haney glared at the ruined picture on the floor, then at D.W. "That does it, Miss Read," he said angrily. "Meet me in detention hall after school today. Now get out of my office and go to class."
"Thank you, Principal Haney," said D.W., smiling as she jumped down from the chair.
Puzzled by the girl's attitude, Mr. Haney reached into a drawer, pulled out another framed picture of his wife, set it down on the desk, and picked up the phone to call D.W.'s parents.
Hundreds of miles away in another principal's office, Bart Simpson walked into the room he knew very well. "Hey, Principal Skinner," he called to the blue-suited man behind the desk.
"What can I do for you, Bart?" asked Skinner with a forced smile.
"I really hate to snitch," said Bart seriously, "but I think you have a right to know—there's a kid from Elwood City hanging out with my sister, and he doesn't go to school."
to be continued