Chapter Four: Dancing

Rose was engulfed in a hug as soon as the doors shut behind them. "Omph," her breath was forced out of her lungs from the strength of the squeeze and she laughed, batting at Jack's arms, "Let me go, Jack. It's good to see you too, but I need to breathe."

Jack let her go, but he was still grinning, "It's great to see you, Rose."

She could hardly be angry at him, but suddenly she was. She felt the anger and the hurt and all of the myriad emotions that she had felt ever since the Doctor – and by extension Jack – had left her on Earth. "You left me."

"I..." Jack's grin faded as he took in her expression.

"Rose, what was going on at that docking berth?" the Doctor asked, completely oblivious to the change of mood that had occurred between the two humans.

"You left me," Rose repeated, this time directing her words at the Doctor.

The Doctor blinked as he suddenly recognized what was happening before him, "Rose, we don't..."

"You. Left. Me," she repeated the words as she stalked forward to emphasize each word by poking him in the chest.

"Yes," the Doctor sighed, "I did. I'm sorry."

"Why?"

The Doctor's eyes were hooded, and she noted the flash of pain on his face before a mask slipped over his expression. She had seen that look only once before – as he had shoved her out of the TARDIS doors. This time he would not do the same thing to her. This time she wouldn't let him.

The Time Lord wondered just what he should tell her. Should he tell her the truth? Should he tell her that he was scared? Or should he continue to hide behind a manic grin and let the feel of her hand within his own be the only touch he should ever know from her? He was the last of a species, the last of his kind – for him to feel this strongly about a silly, adorable little ape that even now was glaring at him was astonishing. He was the Doctor. He was not human. But sometimes he wanted to be.

"Don't leave," he whispered. The unspoken 'me' echoed through the room.

"Doctor, you left me," she replied just as softly. He could hear the warning, the anger, and the despair in her voice. It was a match for his own.

He ran a hand across his head in an unconscious gesture as he suddenly wanted to run. He did not want to do this now. Not here. Not after three months of self-induced torture. Not after listening to Jack yell at him at least once (if not twice or more) a day for leaving her behind. The Doctor had no desire to examine his soul or his hearts again – he was afraid of what he might find. No, he corrected himself as he looked at the young Englishwoman before him; he knew what he would find. He would find her. No more Gallifrey, no more Time Lords, only Rose Tyler.

He loved her.

The Doctor closed his eyes against the sting of tears, "Rose," he said, and her name was a benediction and a prayer, "I was scared." The admission caused Rose to stare at him in shock. Unnoticed by either, Jack quietly slipped from the room. This was something that was between the two of them – he would come back later once the smoke had cleared and they were a team again.

"Scared? Of what?" she asked, though she thought she might know the answer. He was scared of her and of what could be.

"Everything. I was terrified because at any moment I might lose you," his eyes were open as he looked at her, and within the blue tinged depths she could see an oncoming storm.

"People die everyday," she pointed out, wanting to draw the complete truth from him, "Why should you live in fear of something that might happen? Everybody dies eventually, Doctor, even you."

"Because," he said, and she could clearly see the storm in his eyes, "I can't lose you. I left you because I couldn't lose you." Even he could see the illogic of that argument, but as the Doctor was swiftly recognizing there was nothing logical about emotions.

"You're daft, you are," Rose said and a tiny smile appeared on her face, "You can't lose me. I'm here aren't I? I looked for you, you know. For the past three years I looked."

It was his turn to ask, "Why?" He had thought he had hurt her too badly for her to look for him. How he had underestimated her.

"Because," Rose said, staring at a point somewhere over his shoulder, "I couldn't stay in London and try to live my old life again. I've seen too much, I've done too much. Home isn't London, Doctor, its here. It's always been here. I looked for you because I can't do this alone. And I don't want to anymore."

The sudden sob that tore out of his throat startled them both and the Doctor leaned against one of the columns in the control room for support. "Rose," he whispered and he suddenly felt her arms wrap around him.

"It'll be okay, Doctor, it will be," she whispered into his jacket as she hugged him tightly, "I'm here, and I won't leave."

"I didn't want to make you leave," he confessed, burying his face into her hair, "I didn't want to...but I was so scared."

"You don't have to be anymore."

He smiled into her hair, "I know." He whispered something in Gallifreyan, something that he knew the TARDIS would not translate. One day he would tell her, he promised himself, one day soon. But for now, for now he would cherish this single moment wherein she was in his arms.

Rose was home. And the Doctor suddenly felt like dancing.