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TheAmazingTecnocolorRingWraithand Faerlas and El Deno and nobody and Tera Earth and Luthien and Tari Oronar and Annamariah and Elithraniel and MoroTheWolfGod and Legolas's fanatical fan girl and Twilight Unicorn and ziggy and dragondaughter17 and Ellfine and Fwe and Surfredia and Elvin BlueEyes.
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Rules For Gender Change By The One Ring Of Sauron
3.) Thou shalt learn to understand why women have so many friends. Thou shalt learn to lean on thy friends for support and not be ashamed of it. Thy dependence on thy friends will make you feel stupid, but I shall make it so.
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Chapter Four
Let's be Best Friends
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While the snow storm raged on the mountain and the Fellowship struggled to keep the hobbits alive, Boromir cut her hair.
The little shelter they had was barely keeping out the whistling wind that cut right through their clothing. Snow built up around the little band as they squeezed together. The tiny fire that they had was doing its best to keep them warm but the odds were against it doing very much.
'What are you doing Boromir?" Aragorn asked, they were huddled together in the effort to shield the four shivering hobbit lasses.
"I'm just making life more practical." The red hair responded, she pulled a short and deadly looking blade from her belt and watched it glint in the fire light.
Aragorn grabbed her waist tightly in her own and said, "No Boromir, killing yourself will not make things easier! Think of the grief it would bring your family! I beg you!"
Boromir yanked free and snarled, "I'm not going to kill myself you idiot! If I was going to kill myself I would certainly not to do here in front of you all and I would certainly not slit my wrist to do so!"
So saying she pulled her long beautiful hair around her shoulder and began hacking at it. The hobbits were too cold to noticing what was going on, Gimli had actually fallen asleep and Gandalf and Legolas were busy mediating about something.
Aragorn watched as the gold red waves fall onto the snow. Boromir, used to trimming her hair on the battle field did a rather good if uneven job of making herself look terrible. Finally with a delicate pull the long tress fell free and Boromir sheathed her blade. Her hair hung in uneven chin length stands.
"I feel like a new man…person." She said.
"You look like a hedgehog." Aragorn commented dryly.
Boromir shot her a look that clearly said, 'Stay away ranger!' but she said nothing.
Legolas awoke and blinked a few times and said, "Good god Boromir! What happened to you?"
"I cut my hair to a more practical length!" the Gondorian defended. "I couldn't go around with that mane! It was getting caught in everything!"
"But your hair was so beautiful!' the elleth whined, then she caught herself and said, 'I mean…for a man turned into a woman…I mean I don't think that you're pretty…not in that way you understand…please, I."
"I know what you mean!" Boromir snapped, "Just shut up for once! I'm tired of you and Aragorn always acting like you know what I should and shouldn't be doing! I am forty years old for heaven's sake!"
"Well, I am sorry." Legolas said, she turned her face away and sniffed loudly.
Aragorn cuffed Boromir lightly and said, "Can't you be kinder? This is very hard for Legolas!"
Forgetting caution or the sleeping hobbits Boromir laughed sarcastically, "And it it's hard for me! For the love of god Aragorn! My father will absolutely kill me if he finds out I've been turned into a woman!"
"You're not the only one suffering here Boromir!" Aragorn counted, "Legolas is the only male in his family and is supposed to take his father's place as king someday! He can't do that as a woman! And I can't become king of Gondor because I'm a woman!"
They all stared at each other and as the ranger's last words were spoken the wind died down completely. As if on cue Gandalf snorted and stood up, "Time to go," she said brightly, "I'm glad to see you're all awake!"
Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas looked at each other sullenly, but said nothing. Gandalf looked at Boromir and then at the pile of red hair on the snow.
"Porcupine." the wizard muttered darkly.
In the pure light of dawn the situation they were in looked grim, not them the landscape, they looked ravishingly good. Well, that is everyone, but Boromir.
With a snug grin Legolas vaulted herself onto the top of the snow. Perched on the crusty ice of the snow she pranced a few feet and then with a coquettish smile she flipped head over heels backward.
"Show off." Gimli muttered.
"I've never seen anything like that in my life!" Sam gasped, "Look at that!"
The hobbits and Boromir watched as Legolas showed off doing cartwheels and handstands with ease and perfect grace. The hobbits rosy cheeks and cheery giggles were a relief to the humans and Istari. The three had huddled together and discussed the best thing to do.
"One of us has to go and see what's in front of us." Aragorn said, her grey eyes serious. "We can't bring the hobbits into a position that might be dangerous."
"Quite right Aragorn." Gandalf said, "I think I know who should go first."
"Who?" Boromir asked, "Obviously not me."
"Legolas of course." Gandalf answered, her blue eyes twinkling with mirth.
Legolas every inch the elf she was before over heard and called happily, "I'm off to find the sun!"
She nanced away her bow and quiver still strapped over her narrow shoulders. For another frozen hour the Fellowship waited for the elf to return with a full report of what was what.,
Meanwhile the hobbits were busy eating the semi frozen food they had while cracking jokes about Boromir's hair. Boromir finally challenged them to a snowball fight and they forgot about the temperature and the bad hair cut. Even Gimli and Aragorn snuck a few of the icy missiles at the crop haired Gondorian woman.
"Not fair Boromir! You're hands are bigger!" Pippin whined, "My snowballs are too small!"
"Then come over here and it will be us against the rest of them." Boromir smiled, her face looking more relecxed then it had in days.
Wild snowball flinging went on for minutes while the air was thick with the hail of cries of triumph and dismay. It was great fun, until…well.
Later, no one could remember who had thrown the snowball, but someone did. Mostly likely it was Boromir because none of the hobbits could have threw it quite that far, but Pippin did look rather guilty later. But the icy snowball smacked right into Legolas' face as she appeared over the hills of snow.
"Ow!" she screamed. Everyone rushed toward her but got bogged down in the snow. Finally Aragorn reached the elleth and pulling her hands away from her face saw that blood was poured out of a very broken looking nose.
"Don't touch it! Don't touch it!" she squealed.
"I have to look at it my friend hold still." Aragorn said gently.
Everyone crowded around to watch as Aragorn carefully examined the elleth's broken nose. Sam volunteered a handkerchief and helped melt snow to water help clean up the rapidly bruising nose.
"You'll be alright. A bit black and blue for a day or two but you should be fine." Aragorn finally announced.
"What I want to know." Legolas said in a nasally tone, "Is what idiot threw that thin\g in the first place."
Aragorn looked at the Fellowship and everyone looked back innocently. "I don't think we'll be finding out anytime soon Legolas. Come, tell us what you saw?"
An hour later Aragorn and Boromir were busy plowing a path through the snow with a hobbit on their backs. The going was tough but neither of the Gondorians would ever admit how hard it really was. After all the hobbits would never have the strength to break through on their own.
There was a lot of labored breathing, huffing and puffing but slowly and surely all the hobbits were moved to safety. At the bottom of the mountain they all collapsed into a heap in exhaustion. Legolas was breathing in a funny whistling manner and even in their state the hobbits couldn't stop giggling.
Sam managed to subdue herself and began rummaging through the packs for the makings of dinner. Boromir hauled herself up and began collecting wood like she usually did, making the two youngest hobbits help. They were tired yes, but they needed something to do other then poke fun at everyone else.
"I've never been so tired in my life." Pippin said. "I'll sleep for forever!"
"Not forever because we have to head off tomorrow for Moria." Merry said. She shifted the wood in her arms. She smiled brightly but to her surprise Pippin began to cry.
"I don't want to go on! I'm tired! I can't go on anymore." She dropped her wood and buried her face in her hands. Merry sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her cousin's shoulders.
"I know pip, don't cry." she said. "I'm tired too. But remember, we're doing this for Frodo."
"Maybe we shouldn't have come." Pippin sobbed, "We should have gone back to the Shire. At least we would still be men."
"Maybe, but we're here and we can't just give up on our friends. I'd never give up on you." Merry smiled, "Even if you did steal my favorite pipe and weed yesterday."
"But I didn't!" Pippin suddenly angry, "It was my pipe in the first place!"
"I should say not!' Merry protested, "I won it from you in that game at Bilbo's party!"
"I won that game not you! You were too busy making eyes at that lass too notice!"
Their voices rose as they argued, and back at the camp Gimli exchanged glances with Aragorn. They puffed on their pipes for a few moments and finally Gimli said, "At least things are getting back to normal."