Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!
Chapter 7: How To Kill a Trunkle in Less Than 11 Years!
It looks like everyone is enjoying themselves at the castle! ...SORTA!
Pikario swooned. "Oh, Peach! How I longed for your love for all these years!"
Shroomsworth rolled his eyes. "WHAT years?"
Peach giggled! "Tee hee! That's so sweet!"
Chuigi shook his head. "Suck up..."
Shroomsworth cleared his throat! "I love to be the one who interrupts this wonderful love scene, but Peach wants to visit someplace called Little Fungus Town!"
Pikario frowned! "What? Peach, wouldn't you want stay here with me so we can... you know?"
Chuigi looked away. "Eww..."
Peach sighed. "Sorry, but as the Shroomish Kingdom representative and all that crap, I have to go!"
"Damn it..." Pikario growled under his breath!
"Oh, boo hoo! It's the tragedy of the century!" Shroomsworth sarcastically cried with a hankie included!
"Welcome to my world..." Lady Luna said, smirking!
Then, the Red Oho Jee appeared! "Are we strange?"
The Blue Oho Jee appeared, too! "What that mean?"
Peach picked up the Red one! "How cute! For me? You shouldn't have!"
"I had traveled the seven seas to catch them for you!" Pikario boasted like a jerk!
Peach swooned! "AW! That's cute!"
Chuigi turned away. "Meh."
"Little Fungus Town is past Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley!" Queen Where decided to inform everyone in the room!
Peach looked scared! "Oh, dear! Pikario, Chuigi, will you take me there?"
"NO!" Chuigi spat!
Pikario knocked him over! "YES!"
Queen Where said, "If I were you, I'd be too lazy to walk there, so off you go!" So, she used her Vine Whip to catapult Peach and Shroomsworth all the way to Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley!
Pikario got mad! "HEY! What about us!"
Queen Where pushed them out!"Walking is good for you!"
Sometime later, in the middle of nowhere!
Pikario threw his arms up and shouted!"WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!"
Chuigi pointed! "Look, a cave!"
So, they go in, seeing the Hammerhead Bros. again!
Sledge sweatdropped. "Hey, it's those two again!"
"Oh no..." Hammer groaned!
Pikario pointed at Hammer! "Hey, it's you!"
Chuigi made a face! "Déjà vu..."
Hammer gave them the Super Hammers! "Just take these and leave us alone!"
Pikario smiled. "W00t! Now we can go break into houses and steal stuff!"
"And play stupid mini games with a rock to get new attacks!" Chuigi added!
And they do!
A Golem appeared! "THWOMP! I am THWOMP!"
Pikario frowned! "No, you're not!"
Chuigi laughed and pointed! "You're just a stupid Golem!"
The Thwomp THWOMPED the ground! "THWOMP! SILENCE! I am a Golem named Thwomp!"
"That must suck..." Pikario mused!
The Thwomp THWOMPED the ground! "THWOMP! SILENCE!"
"Why do you keep saying "THWOMP!"?" Chuigi, for once, smartly asked!
The Thwomp THWOMPED the ground! "THWOMP! I don't know! Pay me 200 coins to play a stupid mini game!"
"Ah, what the heck?" Chuigi gavehim 200 coins!
The Thwomp THWOMPED the ground! "THWOMP! Break these rocks that magically appeared out of nowhere!"
Pikario's ears stood straight up! "My god! They must be evil rocks!"
So, he breaks all 3 with his Hammer, getting 8,564,905,784,774 coins, a Secret Scroll, and a tampon!
Chuigi sweatdropped! "Eh?"
Pikario help up the tampon! "This is one fucked-up looking condom..."
The Thwomp THWOMPED the ground! "THWOMP! GRR, GET OUT OF OUT HERE BEFORE I CRUSH YOU!"
At Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley!
Pikario saw Peach! "Oh, happy day! Peach, we're together again!"
Shroomsworth rolled his eyes! "Oh, puh-leese!"
Chuigi watched the sand blow in the wind! "What kind of valley is this?"
"Tee hee!" Peach ironically answered! "Anywho, let's get started!"
Shroomsworth suddenly started singing! "Everybody's looking for that something, one thing that makes it all complete. You'll find it in the strangest places, places you never knew it could be... Some find it in the faces of their children; some find it in their lover's eyes..."
Pikario followed Peach! "Blah, blah, blah! Why are you toying with us?"
Shroomsworth watched them leave, then remembered! "OH NO! I totally forgot!"
So, Shroomsworth ran ahead to try and catch Pikario!
Pikario exploded!"WHAT DO YOU WANT! AND WHY ARE YOU SO HELLBENT ON KEEPING ME AWAY FROM PEACH!"
Shroomsworth started singing again! "Hey, guys! I just remembered! The wheels on the bus go round and round!"
"I DON'T CARE!" Pikario shouted!
Further away, Peach encounters a Gritty Goomba!
The Gritty Goomba popped its 3 heads up! "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! With my 3 heads of evilness, I shall take over the world!"
Peach waved at te 3-headed thing! "That was a nice speech, but I have to get to Little Fungus Town!"
"Oh! Good luck then!" the Gritty Goomba said, leaving!
Shroomsworth continued! "...the only one for me is you, and then we'll be so happy together!"
Pikario pointed at the Breloom!"YOU MUST BE GAY!"
"...or mentally retarded..." Chuigi added!
"...or some kind of strange combination of the two!" Pikario finished!
Sometime later!
Peach was excited! "Whee! Little Fungus Town is up ahead!"
Pikario sighed! "Finally!"
Chuigi also sighed! "Glad that's over!"
"We didn't even do anything!" Shroomsworth informed everyone!
Pikario growled! "When you go to bed, expect me to stab you in the back with a rusty knife!"
The group goes ahead to the entrance, but are stopped by the evil Trunkle!
"MWAHAHSHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Trunkle laughed!
"GASP!" Chuigi pointed over dramatically! "He spelled "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" wrong! He must be truly evil!"
Peach gasped! "Oh, my!"
Trunkle waved his branches around! "That, I am, because I'm the evil bastard of all the bad guys you've ever fought!"
Pikario got into a fighting stance! "Bring it on!"
Battle Mode Start! OH NO IT'S TRUNKLE! RUN AWAY!
"Watch, as I use my inhale ability to copy your powers!" Trunkle started to inhale things!
Chuigi noticed something! "You can't do that! It's copyrighted by HAL Laboratory!"
"And Nintendo'll sue our asses!" Pikario pulled on his ears!
"I don't care!" Trunkle spat, regaining 57,693,040 HP!
Pikario made a fist! "We WILL beat you!"
10 years later!
Pikario coughed up shit! "We CAN'T beat you!"
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Trunkle regained 74,944,840,383,939 HP!
"Why won't you die?" Chuigi panted!
Trunkle laughed madly! "Because I'm an evil bastard! And evil bastards never die!"
Chuigi made a face! "I thought happily deranged people never die..."
Pikario shrugged. "Deep down, we're all dead inside..."
Trunkle lost 74,405,868 HP! "What? You're confusing me with your confusing logic!"
Pikario got an idea! "That's it! Let's use our confusing logic, because all them evil bastards ain't too bright, is they?"
Chuigi smiled! "No, but I'm not sure if I answered your question!"
Pikario spoke! "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"
Chuigi rubbed his head! "Is the truth REALLY out there?"
"WHAT?" Trunkle lost a shitload of HP!
Pikario laughed! "Why can't we all just get along?"
Chuigi asked. "Who let the dogs out?"
"AHHHHHHHH!" Trunkle is losing HP! A lot of it!
Pikario pointed at Trunkle! "When the sun goes down every other Tennessee and the tide's not working, how long will it take me to realize what I'm doing?"
"If a tree falls in your backyard and I'm not around to hear it, what time is it last Thursday when it's supposed to rain, but my dressers backed out?" Chuigi asked, not sure what he even said!
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS CRAP!" Trunkle exploded!
Battle Mode Complete! Thank the stars that Trunkle is finally dead!
"I'M GOING HOME TO ASK MY MOM WHAT THE EQUIVALENT OF PIE IS!" Trunkle exclaimed, running away!
The Red Oho Jee was happy! "Hooray!"
"What he said, but with more emphasis!" the Blue Oho Jee added!
Then, a Shroomish appeared! "Wow! You have such amazing logic!"
A Breloom also appeared! "Everybody in this town is a dumbass, so that guy's been a real problem lately!"
Peach giggled. "Oh, Pikario! You're so sexy when you save the world like that!"
Chuigi sighed."Oh, barf..."
Authoress' Notes: Yes, I swear, Trunkle is more annoying than Bowletta! It takes from 20 minutes to an hour to kill that guy!