Authoress' Notes: Gah... damn, I hate Joke's End so fucking much... The music, the looks of the place, the enemies (especially those stupid Scaratroopeas...), the boss battle... Oh, well... despite that, I'll still try and make this chapter as funny as I possibly can...
Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!
Chapter 14: The End of Sex's End!
Upon reaching Sex's End, Pikario got off of Chuigi and stretched! Well, you try riding on your little brother as a surfboard for 3 hours straight and see how you like it!
Still in his surfboarding form, Chuigi hopped up and down! "Dude! What about ME? Come on, man!"
Pikario grabbed Chuigi and banged him against some nearby rocks, turning him back to normal! "THERE! HAPPY?"
"Oh, yeah! If I have a concussion, that means I'm feeling A LOT better!" Chuigi said, with a ton of sarcasm!
Afterwards, the two went up the stairs to Sex's End and climbed for like, 5 fucking hours, until they finally got to the main door, but a small Smoochum blocked the way!
"I, Jojora, command you to halt! No one enters this place, for it is the sacred home to all the virgins in the world! Are you 2 virigns?" she asked.
"Yes..." Chuigi mumbled!
Pikario kicked him! "Well, I ain't! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"THEN YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Jojora hit Pikario with her wand thingy!
"OW!" Pikario pulled away form her! "I've got to save my girl from this evil bitch thing and you can't stop me!"
Jojora sighed. "You know, you're like, the 8,495,084,035th person today with that excuse... and I'm starting to get pissed off at it! LEAVE NOW OR FACE YOUR DOOM!"
Pikario threw her into water, where some very hungry Carvanha were waiting! "Whatever..."
So, into Sex's End Pikario & Chuigi went! They saw a lot of really, really, REALLY annoying enemies, like Clumphs, Glurps, and the strangely cute Ice Snifits! YAY! But then, they just happened to come in contact with the dreaded Scaratroopeas! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It was a good thing that Chuigi was able to defeat them the evil powers of Algebra and Geometry! Getting into the next room, they saw a wet and mangled Jojora on top of a VERY high platform!
Jojora threw off a Carvanha hanging from her hair! "You freaks! That was a cheap shot! Just for that, I challenge you to try and get all the way up here! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU'LL NEVER GET PAST ALL THE ANNOYING BAD GUYS AND PUZZLES! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Pikario & Chuigi somehow used their High Jump to get up to Jojora's level! Seeing this, she freaked out!
Pikario kicked Jojora in the stomach! "HOW YA LIKE ME NOW? MWAHAHAHAHA!"
Jojora ran away! "HA! THAT WAS JUST ONE PART OF SEX'S END! YOU'RE NOT DONE YET!"
And so, IT CONTINUED! Pikario & Chuigi went through Sex's End, doing stupid puzzles like, hitting floating blocks to open doors, going through the ground and underneath gates, setting stuff on fire, wetting stuff with water, and OTHER STUFF! Anyway, they finally came to Jojora's room! It was complete with icy furniture and shit!
Jojora walked up. "Well! Congrats on getting here, you stupid bastards! Now, sit the hell down and shut the fuck up while I make some shitty tea, or something!"
Making weird unmakable faces, Pikario & Chuigi sat down on the ice-cold seats! How their asses stood that, I don't know!
Pikario sighed. "Now, what?"
"Sit the hell down and shut the fuck up?" Chuigi frowned.
Pikario kicked him! "No, asshole! I mean, the WhatStar!"
Chuigi rubbed his head! "THE WHAT?"
Then, Jojora came back in! "I'm sorry, I don't have any shitty tea, so I'm inviting one of my mentally retarded friends over!"
Pikario shrugged. "Whatever!"
"So, who do you want? Red, Black, Yellow, or Brown?" Jojora asked.
Pikario threw his hands up in the air! "I DON'T CARE! BRING THEM ALL! WHO GIVES A FUCK?"
Just then, 4 Jynx came busting into the room with different hair colors!
"Hey, look! Jojora's come to play with us!" the one with jet-black hair shouted!
"GET BACK OUTSIDE, YOU BITCHES! I DIDN'T CALL YOU!" Jojora shouted!
Chuigi snorted! "You were right; they are mentally retarded..."
The brunette Jynx got mad! "Say what? How dare you slander our little sister?"
Jojora shook her fist! "I'M NOT YOUR SISTER, GODDAMN IT! I ONLY PAY YOU TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF PEOPLE!"
"I'm putting the smackdown on these freaks!" the redheaded Jynx said, about to punch Chuigi!
Battle Mode Start! What The Hell Is Up With That Hair?
Pikario sat up! "What's this shit? Why are you guys fighting us? We didn't do anything to you!"
"This is my house and you came in without asking, so I'm going to kill you now!" Jojora threatened!
"Me, too!" the blonde said!
"Me, too!" the redhead said!
"Me, too!" the jet-black said!
"Me, too!" the brunette said!
Jojora faced the 4 Jynx! "SHUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUP!"
Pikario used Thunderbolt on the brunette!
Chuigi hit Jojora with his Ultra Hammer and broke her wand thingy!
"Holy shit on a stick! THAT HURT!" Jojora turned to the Jynx! "See? THIS is what I pay you guys to do, so do it!" And with that, she ran away!
Red was confused! "Wait! What?"
"I think she said something about hair curlers..." Yellow whispered!
Black was happy! "OKAY! YAY!"
Just then, for no apparent reason, Brown ran over to Pikario and gave him a Lovely Kiss!
Pikario wiped it off in a rage! "WHAT THE FUCK? YOU STUPID, OLD BITCH! WHY'D YOU GO AND DO THAT?"
Yellow got mad! "That is, like, so unfair!"
"I wanna kiss the cute, little Pikachu!" Black pouted!
"I know! Let's all turn into giant snowballs for some unknown reason and try to run over them and kill them, then we can kiss them both!" Yellow suggested, like the idiot she was!
The other Jynx agreed! "YEAH!"
At that time, Jojora decided to come back with a new wand thingy and was outraged at what the Jynx were doing!
"WHAT THE HELL? I LEAVE FOR 2 MINUTES AND YOU GUYS GO AND TURN INTO SNOWBALLS? FUCK THIS! I'M OUTTA HERE!" Jojora ran away again!
Chuigi looked at Pikario. "Is it me, or are these Boss Battles just getting lamer and lamer?"
Pikario glared at the oncoming Jynx snowballs! "It's probably both..."
The Jynx all turned into snowballs for some unknown reason and tried to run over Pikario, but he set them on fire, putting an end to their shit!
Battle Mode Completed! WOW! OMG, That was, like, so totally hot!
The Jynx ran away and Jojora pouted!
"NO FAIR! GAME TIME IS OVER NOW AND YOU GUYS MADE ME LOSE! I'LL GET MY REVENGE, ONE DAY! I SWEAR IT!" Jojora followed the Jynx and got the hell outta there!
Chuigi rolled his eyes. "What next?"
In the next room, Chuigi's question was answered, as Fawful was playing his GBA-SP in the middle of the room, waiting for them to show up!
"Of the what took you so longness? Be bringing the WhatStar here and of the hurt I do not to you!" he demanded!
Pikario elbowed Chuigi! "Hey, dumbass, make sure to give him the FAKE one! You know, the one that's NOT REAL!" he whispered loudly!
"Okay, sheesh!" Chuigi took the FAKE WhatStar and gave it to Fawful, who became enraged!
He bitchslapped Chuigi with his tail! "FOOL! I HAVE THE HEARINGNESS OF GOODNESS AND I KNOW THE TRUTHNESS OF THE WHATSTAR!"
With that, Fawful took the REAL WhatSar and left! Pikario came up to Chuigi and smacked him!
"DID I NOT JUST SAY 'GIVE HIM THE FAKE WHATSTAR!'?" Pikario growled!
"WELL, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE GUY HAS SOME FUCKING STRONG HEARING! EVER THOUGHT OF THAT, PIKARIO?" Chuigi retorted!
"Shut up! Thanks to you, now we need ANOTHER plan to save Peach..." Pikario stopped in mid-sentence as he spotted something in the far corner of the room!
Chuigi perked up. "What?"
"I think I know what we can do..." Pikario thought outloud!
Chuigi sweatdropped. "What?"
Taking his hat to pick it up, Pikario found a... DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! THUNDERSTONE!
Outside!
"...and I told him, 'Look! It's either MY WAY, or THE HIGHWAY, bub!' Then, I ate him!" Bowletta told the Princess!
Peach clapped at Bowletta's story! "Oh, that was so much fun! I've never had this much fun as a captive EVER!"
The Fawful came up, playing his GBA-SP again! "Bowletta! Of the two great news I have for you! Oneness, is that I have fury upon the EVIL Pokémon in the Sapphire Version! Twoness, is that I have catchness on the WhatStar, so can we be doing the leavingness from the placeness of the evilness, nowness?"
"YES!" Bowletta simply said, about to take of with Peach!
Pikario ran up! "No way, man!"
Peach waved at Pikario! "Hi, Pikario! Look! I'm flying in an evil Koopa thingy of doom! GO, ME!"
"FEH! Puny Pikachu! You can't stop me now!" Bowletta scoffed!
Pikario smirked. "Oh, really?"
Then, ANOTHER Peach walked up!
Bowletta freaked out! "HOLY SHIT!"
Fawful went mad! "THIS MADNESS IS NOT OF THE FUNNYNESS TO ME!"
"Tee hee! Look! I have a twin! GO, ME AGAIN!" Peach giggled!
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "Peach" laughed evily!
Pikario slapped "her"! "Don't overdo it..."
"Peach" glared at Pikario, then turned to Bowletta and Fawful! "You guys are totally freaks! You actually fell for our plan and took the fake Princess? That's so totally weak!"
Bowletta glared at Peach! "Fine, then! I'll just take both!"
"YOU CAN'T DO THAT, BECAUSE IF YOU CHOOSE THE WRONG ONE... THEN, um... NINTENDO WILL GO OUT OF BUSINESS!" Pikario lied!
Bowletta dropped Peach and took "Peach"! "Nevermind that shit! I'll be taking the real one, thank you!" And she flew off, with Fawful close behind!
Pikario went up to Peach in excitement! "PEACH!"
The Princess sat up! "Hi, Pikario! Wow! I've had so much fun today! YAY!"
"Wanna go have sex?" Pikario asked!
"Okay! Yay, more fun! YAY!" Peach laughed!
And the two did just that, breaking the ancient rule of Sex's End! This caused the whole place to melt and it drowned all the annoying enemies, except for the Ice Snifits, who migrated and now live with the Oho Jees! How they stood the heat, I don't know! THEY JUST DID!
Meanwhile, back on Bowser's Koopa Cruiser... Thingy!
"EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH! FAWFUL! WE'VE DONE IT! WE'VE FINALLY DONE IT! WE'VE CAUGHT PRINCESS PEACH!" Bowletta roared happily!
"Of the happiness I am having for the joyous time of the day where became ours was Peach!" Fawful said, in some crazy unknown language!
Bowletta sweatdropped. "Yeah! That, too!"
"Peach" rolled "her" eyes. "Man, what a bunch of losers..."
Fawful turned around! "Eh? What was that?"
"Peach" didn't say anything!
"Peach, you're acting a little weird... Are you okay?" Bowletta asked.
"Peach" didn't say anything!
Now, Bowletta was suspicious! "HEY, PEACH! LOOK OUT! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! OMGLOLOMGLOL!"
"Peach" shrugged. "So?"
"Aha! You're not Peach! If you were, then you'd say something stupid, like, 'Oh, really? Then, I should buy a puppy, because they bring sunshine and happiness to the world!', or something!" Bowletta pointed out!
"...Well... shit... Fine! I'm really Chuigi! BIG SURPRISE!" Chuigi said, sarcastically, holding up a Thunderstone!
"Damn... I have to have the admittingness! That was very smart!" Fawful said!
Chuigi took the WhatStar and ran off! "Like I give a crap..."
"DAMN IT! DON'T LET HIM... oh, nevermind; he already jumped out..." Bowletta sighed, watching Chuigi fly by the window!
"Of the whatness should we do now?" Fawful asked.
Bowletta turned the ship around! "What else? WE ATTACK AND GO BLOW UP SOME STUFF!"
Somewhere in the sky!
"Shit!" Chuigi cursed, realizing that he didn't have a parachute!
Then, TA-DA! Peasley appeared on his flying bean thing! THANK THE STARS!
"Ahahahahahahaha! I never thought I'd live to see Raichus fly! REAMARKABLE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed!
"Peasley! It's me! Look, I have the WhatStar!"Chuigi proved it by holding the thing up!
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EVEN MORE REMARKABLE! In that case, I shall aid you in your problem!" Peasley laughed!
He tried to catch him with his Vine Whip, but Raichus are very heavy for Bulbaasaurs, so he dropped him, falling off his bean thing as well!
Somewhere in Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley!
"Are you sure he's going to land here?" Shroomsworth asked Pikario.
Just then, Chuigi landed about 48,395,478,905 feet away!
"Yeah... I'm pretty sure..." Pikario plainly said!
Peach laughed! "YAY!"
Peasley somehow landed safely behind Peach and flashed the WhatStar! "Pikario, you insane Pokémon, you! Tricking Bowletta like that was pure genius! Chuigi told me all about it while we were falling and he gave me the WhatStar, too!"
Peach looked over at Chuigi! "Hey, look! Chuigi's playing in the sand! How cute!"
Chuigi was stuck headfirst in the dirt and then he sunk into it!
Pikario threw his hands up! "W00T! Chuigi is dead and I had some awesome sex with Peach! Can this get any better?"
Down Below Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley!
Chuigi fell flat on his face! KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Popple came running out of somewhere! "What the hell?"
"Gah... damn it..." Chuigi mumbled under his breath!
"Hey! What's this Raichu doing here?" Then he noticed Chuigi's hat! "No, wait! IT'S THAT GREEN GUY! Then, Red must be around here somewhere! Okay, so I'll set up a trap, or something!"
Thisaintavalleybutreallyadesert Valley!
"I say! Master Mario, go after Luigi! He may be hurt!" Shroomsworth said!
"Why don't you just shove it, old man?" Pikario flipped him off!
"Oh, please, Pikario? I'll give you surprise if you do!" Peach asked, winking!
Pikario stormed off! "Fine, but next time, I'm on top and I WANT ANAL!"
Authoress' Notes: BTW, in case you were confused about the Jynx part, there's really only a blonde, no matter which friend you choose, and she switches to a redhead sometimes. I just threw the others in for added effect. Their names are the color of their hair, instead of crap like Teeheena and Chucklissa, etc. (Like Yellow is blonde and Brown is the brunette)