Authoress' Notes: Sorry this took so long to get up. I wanted to get "BOA" off my mind first. And now that I have, sit back and enjoy the final (official) Chapter of "P&C"!
Pikario & Chuigi: Poké Star Saga!
Chapter 24: Bowletta is Pwn3d!
Yes! They've finally done it! They've beaten all the bosses in the game, solved almost all of the puzzles, and even did most of the shit they were supposed to! Now, Pikario & Chuigi can finally fight the final boss and win and crap! W00t W00t!
Pikario slammed the doors open to Bowletta's room! "Alright! Come get some!"
"Some what?" Chuigi whispered!
Pikario punched him in the nose! "SHUT UP! You're ruining my dramatic entrance!"
"Ah, so Pikario & Chuigi have finally dragged their sorry asses all the way up here just to be kicked, huh?" Bowletta laughed, sitting in her throne.
"NO! It's like, the other way around and stuff!" Pikario spat.
"Well... let's see what happens when I do... THIS!" Bowletta randomly set the room on fire! "ARE YA SCARED NOW, LITTLE MAN? ARE YA? HUH?"
Chuigi frowned. "What is WRONG with you?"
Pikario rolled his eyes. "She's just trying to scare us! In case you haven't noticed, it's working!"
Bowletta sweatdropped. "Aw, shit! Fine... I guess you want me to fight you now?"
Battle Mode Start! YAY, it's Bowletta! ...or is that a bad thing...?
"Prepare to die!" Pikario threatened!
"Look, why do you even wanna do this? You already got your damn girl and the WhatStar back! What else do you want?" Bowletta huffed.
"SEX!" Pikario answered!
Chuigi used MP3 Player! DOWNLOAD THIS TRACK FOR $999,999,999!
Bowletta covered her ears! "ACK! Crappy music! You'll pay for that!"
Pikario mooned her! "Just try it!"
Bowletta used FLAMING BALL THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING BUT SIT DOWN!
Chuigi raised an eyebrow. "Okay..."
"That sucks!" Pikario shouted!
Pikario used Nintendo 64! Hooray for outdated graphics and stuff!
Bowletta fell over! "Damn, that hurt!"
Chuigi looked a little annoyed. "Aren't you gonna attack, or something?"
"I DON'T WANT TO!" Bowletta barked.
"Cause you're scared of us!" Pikario taunted!
"No... I just don't feel like it; I'm lazy like that..." Bowletta said.
Chuigi shook his head. "Aren't we all?"
Bowletta's Flaming Balls restored her energy!
Pikario snickered. "Flaming balls..."
"Speaking of which, I meant to ask you; are you a transsexual?" Chuigi nonchalantly remembered!
Bowletta was outraged. "WHAT? Did Wendy tell you that, cause it's not true! Just because I wear a Size F cup bra doesn't mean anything!"
Pikario sweatdropped. "I didn't need to know that..."
Chuigi narrowed his eyes. "Where'd you get them from?"
Pikario whacked him! "We're trying to kill her, not find about her life story!"
"It's not my fault they were Bowser's and they inflated when I took him over!" Bowletta complained.
"...Bowser has breasts?" Chuigi asked!
Pikario back away. "...That's not... that's not cool, dude..."
"You guys are starting to piss me off! Time for my ULTIMATE WEAPON!" Bowletta shook her fists!
Bowletta turned black and used STARZ! OMG! L00k 4t t3h puRdy STARZ!
Then Kirby appeared out of nowhere! "Hi, guys!"
Pikario twitched. "Not again..."
"I thought you went an expedition around the world with Roy to find the perfect pink color!" Chuigi remembered!
Kirby shrugged. "I did, but Bowletta paid me 395 cookies to come back and do THIS!"
Pikario sweatdropped. "Huh?"
KABOOM! Kirby randomly turned into Bomb Kirby and threw a bomb! It exploded and knocked out Pikario & Chuigi!
"AW, damn!" Pikario cussed!
Chuigi laughed! "Well, that was unexpected!"
"MWAHAHAHAHAHA! THANKS, KIRBY!" Bowletta paid him the cookies!
"No, prob!" Kirby took the cookies and ran away, not to be heard from again until the Epilogue! HAHA!
"And now to do away with you two!" Bowletta growled.
"Can't we talk this over?" Pikario sweatdropped.
Chuigi pointed at Pikario! "IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! I'M STILL A VIRGIN!"
Bowletta sprinkled them with cheese and made them into a sandwich! "DOWN THE HATCH!"
"Oh no! Wait a minute! Don't eat us because I have... um...RABIES! LOOK! Chuigi started foaming at the mouth!
Pikario hit him! "SHUT UP!"
And so, Bowletta ate Pikario & Chuigi and they died and stuff! THE END!
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Oh, wait... They're still alive? ...Crap, I thought this was over with... Okay, so they're not dead!
Pikario sat up, for some reason, fully healed. "What the fuck?"
"OH, MY GOD! WE MUST BE IN HELL! AND THAT'S SATAN!" Chuigi screamed, pointing at some ghost thing!
"EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH! I'M A GHOST! COOL, HUH?" Cackletta's evil ghost thingy said!
Pikario stared in awe! "Oh, now what the hell is that?"
Chuigi shook his head and threw away a beer bottle. "You know... for once in my pathetic little life, I think I've had too many!"
"I'm a ghost and I'm going to eat you!" the creepy ghost thingy said!
Chuigi sweatdropped. "Wait... Didn't you just eat us?"
"And why are you in Bowser's stomach...? What kind of stomach is this?" Pikario asked, very annoyed.
"Maybe we're in his brain!" Chuigi said!
Pikario kicked him! "We can't be in his brain! He doesn't have one! And even if he did, which he doesn't, we still couldn't get in there like THIS! ...Mostly because he doesn't have one..."
"Silence! I'm going to kill you now!" Cackletta said, because the Almighty Authoress is tired of calling her a ghost, since most of you already know that!
"Hey, I thought you didn't want to fight us!" Chuigi pointed out.
"Well, now I'm undead, so I like killing people!" the ghost responded.
"...Man, that's so tacked on..." Pikario shook his head.
"SHUT UP AND FACE MY DOOM, OH, CRAP I MEANT SAY YOUR DOOM!" the ghost of t3h ugliness said!
Cackletta's ghost used HANDS AND ARMS! They went right over Pikario & Chuigi!
Pikario frowned! "Okay..."
Chuigi jumped on a hand! "Ooh! A roller coaster! SWEET!"
"Get your ass off that thing!" Pkario shouted from down below!
Cackletta shook her arms, causing Chuigi to fall off! "FOOOOOOOOOOOOLS!"
Cackletta used BIG GHOSTLY MIDDLE FINGERS! Pikario & Chuigi were TOTALLY PWN3D!
"Dude! We were totally pwn3d!" Chuigi said, recovering from his fall.
Pikario smiled evilly! "Then we shall pwn her!"
Pikario & Chuigi used middle fingers, making their total 4 and Chuigi even added in his big toe! Cackletta was WASTED!
Cackletta was shocked! "Oh, yeah? Well..."
Cackletta's ghost used THE MATRIX THINGY WITH LASERS! SLOOOOOOOOOOOW MOTION!
Pikario got hit by one of laser beam thingies! "SHIT!"
Chuigi got hit too! "DAMN!"
Cackletta laughed evilly! "MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU CAN NEVER STOP ME NOW!"
Pikario used DIET PEPSI VANILLA THAT THE AUTHORESS IS DRINKING WHILE WRITING THIS! IT DIDN'T WORK!
Pikario sweatdropped. "Crap!"
Chuigi used AUTHORESS' REALIZATION THAT IT'S 8:45AM WHILE SHE'S TYPING THIS AND SHE'S STAYED UP ALL NIGHT LOOKING AT NASTY PICTURES OF VIVIAN THE SHADOW SIREN BECAUSE SHE WAS BORED! IT DIDN'T WORK!
Chuigi also sweatdropped! "What the fuck?"
"Apparently, you guys didn't hear me when I said I'm unbeatable!" Cackletta, um... CACKLED!
Pikario got an idea! "THAT'S IT!"
"What's it?" Chuigi questioned.
Pikario used the Almighty-Almost-as-Powerful-as-the-Almighty-Authoress-But-Not-Quite Confusing Logic!
"Earlier, I thought you said, 'MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU CAN NEVER STOP ME NOW!' not that you were unbeatable!" Pikario pointed out!
"But it's the same friggin' thing!" Cackletta complained!
"But you didn't say it as an exact quote and that makes all the difference!" Pikario said, triumphantly!
"Well...! Shit..." Cackletta's ghost thingy EXPLODED! So much in fact, it blew Pikario & Chuigi of out of wherever the hell they were in the first place!
Outside wherever the hell they were in the first place!
Bowletta vomited up Pikario & Chuigi! "EWW! YOU GUYS TASTE LIKE POO!"
Chuigi shrugged. "I guess because we think dirty, therefore we taste dirty!"
Pikario punched him the face! "GOD, DO YOU EVER SHUT UP?"
Battle Mode Completed! WHAT? I'm assuming the fight is over, since Bowletta spit them back up!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bowletta howled, somehow mortally wounded, because she was fine, like, 3 seconds ago! "HOW COULD I BE BEATEN BY SUCH LOSERS?"
"Because you wear a Size F cup bra?" Chuigi asked, taking the humongous brassiere!
Bowletta flipped him off! "STFU N00b!"
Then, her ghost, like, disappeared from Bowser and stuff!
Pikario raised an eyebrow. "Okay..."
"Now what?" Chuigi asked, trying on the bra!
And, Peasley appeared out of nowhere!
"Aww, there's no Bowletta ass left! Oh, well; at least you killed her!" the Bulbasaur said.
"So, can I go have sex now?" Pikario eagerly asked!
"Sure... IF YOU CAN GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THE TIME BOMB I PLANTED BLOWS YOU ALL THE WAY TO HELL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMGLOLWTF!111!" Peasley maniacally laughed, flying away!
Pikario & Chuigi ran for their motherfucking lives! "SHIT!"
RANDOM SCENE CHANGE! Pikario & Chuigi somehow got to the evil Aerodactyl guy, whose name I don't feel like typing because I'm lazy, in time and got the hell outta there! Unfortunately, they left someone behind...
Bowser woke up and looked around. "...What the fuck? Did I get wasted, or something...? Hey, maybe Peach gave me one of those date rape drugs and had her way with me! SWEET!"
Then the place started shaking!
"...Or maybe I'm just stoned..." Bowser hypothesized, not having a clue what was going on!
BOOM! The bomb exploded and Bowser was blown all the way to Japan, where Shigeru Miyamoto told him he was going to make a "Mario & Luigi 2" because Mario RPGs are cool and bring about crazy-ass stories like this! Bowser agreed and the Evil People of Nintendo got to work! Mwahahahahaha!
Back in the Hoogivezahkrap Kingdom, after Pikario got his freak on!
Peach, Pikario, Shroomsworth, Queen Where, Lady Luna, and Chuigi, who was very unimportant, were all there to say their goodbyes to each other! HOW SAD!
"Well, Pikario! I don't know what the hell we gained from this besides 12 pizzas, perverted thoughts on Paper Mario: TTYD, and 100 plus hours wasted on the computer, but WHATEVER! EVERYONE'S HAPPY NOW!" Queen Where fanned herself with a fan and I DON'T know where she got it from!
"We had lotsa fun!" Peach smiled.
"We did lotsa crap!" Pikario also smiled.
"I pwn3d an Umbreon!" Shroomsworth joined in on the smiling!
"I found out the plot for Mario & Luigi 2, but I'm not telling anybody because I want to make you SUFFER!" Lady Luna waved her DS around.
"Wait a minute... Where's Chuigi? He was just here a second ago!" Peach looked around, confused.
Pikario shrugged. "Probably jacking off somewhere. Who cares?"
"Oh my! Peasley's missing too, my queen!" Lady Luna realized!
Queen Where sweatdropped! "Oh... that is not good..."
"WHATEVER! Let's just go before they get back and bring Nintendo with them!" Pikario got on a randomly appearing pink plane, that was ironically Peach's!
"Hey, Shroomsworth! Don't forget to give me a booty call when you get back!" Lady Luna said.
"Don't worry! I won't forget!" Shroomworth smiled EVILLY!
Pikario yanked him into the plane! "Get your old man ass in here! I wanna go home!"
And that, my friends, WAS IT! THE END! FINISHED! DONE! OVER! GO HOME! OR AT LEAST GET OFF THE COMPUTER! The plane started up and stuff and everybody went back home to the good, old Shroomish Kingdom, in hopes of probably getting drunk or something!
Meanwhile...! Peasley and Chuigi were in a room... ALONE... WITH THEIR GAMECUBE! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
"So... whatcha wanna do?" Chuigi asked blatantly!
"I have an idea! Let us induce in that which is called intercourse!" Peasley suggested, because I think he's slightly gay!
Chuigi took his clothes off, which is very ironic because he doesn't wear any! "I was hopping you'd say that!"
And then STUFF happened! USE YOUR IMAGINATION! But let's just say that Chuigi is still not gay, Peasley probably is gay (and that's cool, lol!), Queen Where is mad at this, even though she never found out about it, and telephones are EVIL!
Authoress' Notes: Well, that's it! Expect the Epilogue up sometime... I'm not gonna say when, since I'm currently working on a new Pikario story... :)