Disclaimer: If I owned House, Wilson + everyone else, I would be hanging out with them and not sitting in a pitch black living room with a laptop at 4:40am writing Chapter 2 to this fic.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, I love you guys! Just to clear up any confusion, when I refer to "House" that will be the real House talking from Wilson's body, and vice versa. This fic is so much fun for me to write; I smirk just trying to picture this as an episode lol

Bad Burritos - Chapter 2

"Oh God, don't tell me I'm you; I look like a dork!" House motioned towards his new dress pants, sweater vest and pocket protector.

"Hey, I am not a dork!" Wilson then motioned at his own new body. "What about you? Now I'll be the one getting the walking frankenstein comments from the nurses and having the little interns running away in fright."

House snickered at his next thought.

"Oh that's right, they'll be running to me. Tell me Jimmy, how many dates do I have lined up this week?" House grinned and crossed one leg over the other.

Wilson attempted to stand.

"I'll have you know -" He gasped in pain, grabbed his new injured thigh and fell back onto the chair.

House put his hands behind his head and smiled devilishly. Now Wilson could experience his pain first hand.

"Gee, um, are you in pain? Because there are things to handle the pain.. Programs - Cuddy would give you the time," A big grin now.

Wilson looked at him quizzically for a minute, staring at his own face like he was looking in a mirror.

"Okay now I can see why that pissed you off."

"There's some vicodin in the right pocket if you're so inclined to cater the 'addiction'," House stretched out his arms and then stood up for the first time - without the use of a support. "Hey, this is cool." He walked around a few steps.

Wilson glared at him from the chair and pulled out the bottle of pills.

"I still don't agree with this you know," he popped the lid and spilled a pill into his hand. "Gimmie some water, will you."

"Don't need any water, take it dry, be a man!" House started going through his pockets, looking for any 'secret Wilson things' he could find.

Wilson looked at how big the pill was and that placed it on his tongue, the opposite way of how House would have swallowed it.

House pulled a small piece of paper out of his pants pocket and unfolded it.

"Aha! Who is Wendy? I might have pondered that question years ago, but now it's all so clear... She's a nurse, the name just screams 'I want to be important but I'm too scared to be a doctor'. She grew up in a small town in Ohio-" House thought outloud, looking at the ceiling, trying to crack the phone number on the small piece of paper.

From the chair, Wilson choked on the pill not quite the expert at pill popping like House was.

"She's nothing, she's just a friend," he coughed out.

"Just a friend.. now how many times have I heard that,"

Wilson stood up fully this time and balanced on his left leg.

"Just like you and Cameron are friends, right?"

"Ha! No, just like you and Cameron are 'friends'" House grinned as he saw Wilson's face fall.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go get a haircut." House whistled and skipped out the conference room. Wilson wanted to laugh at the sight of House skipping, except he was only looking at his own body and frankly, he looked ridiculous.

"Don't touch my hair!" Wilson called out.

------

House made his way down to the cafeteria, noticing that Wilson's body was still quite hungry. He stepped in line, with a great big smile on his face. He loved this whole walking thing again. He hadn't felt this good in five years. Wilson had a good deal here with these two working legs. He picked up a tray when the line began to move and surveyed over the food out in front of him.

Wilson would've probably picked something green and leafy. He was a doctor after all he had to set an example. Oh but not today. House figured Wilson could use some man food. He rubbed his hands together sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he flicked his eyes over to the desserts. The nurse in front of him in line had turned and was now watching.

"What, I'm hungry," House justified and slid his bright orange tray along the rails as the line moved.

Cinnamon roll, check. Two jello cups, both red, check. Vanilla pudding cup, check. (House would have went for the devil's food chocolate kind with the swirls of butterscotch, but he guessed the hospital was out of the flavour. It was popular after all.) Three donuts - two glazed and one jelly filled, check. Can of coke with extra sugar, check. Lunch.

He quickly paid for his food, after dismissing several strange looks and took a spot in the lunchroom by the far window. He was about to start on a donut when he looked up and saw a lanky figure limping into the cafeteria, looking very awkward. He leaned back and watched his body try to handle a cane and walk up to the back of the line. Did he look like that when he walked? He looked like he needed a wheelchair.

House took half of the first donut in one bite and watched Wilson walk with the cane in his left hand instead of the way House used to use it. He just had to be a damn doctor didn't he, using it the right way.

Starting on the second donut, Wilson finally made it over to the table and slammed the tray down in front of House.

"What are you eating, a donut?" Wilson demanded and looked down at his own tray. He was going to be the 'nice' guy and feed House full of much needed nutrition. Maybe he would have to reconsider that idea after looking at what his own body was getting. He was getting diabetes, that's what he was getting.

"Yes and you can't have any," House put his arm around his tray and became protective over the last glazed donut sitting on the plate.

Wilson sighed and laid out the cane on the table in between the two trays.

"I hate this thing," he said exhaustedly and pointed at the chunk of wood.

"Oh don't be mean to poor caney here, he can't defend himself," House reached out his hand and stroked the smooth wood. (A/N: Shut up, I know that sounds bad LOL)

Wilson raised his eyebrow and sat down in the chair across from House and looked down his tray.

"So why do I have to eat crap if this is just killing me? Gimmie some of that," Wilson went to grab the cinnamon roll, but got his hand slapped and the roll fell on the table, bottom side up.

"Oh now look what you did, it's ruined. Here you can have it now," House picked it up, noticing all the cream cheese icing had stuck to the table and tossed it towards Wilson.

"You're disgusting. This is disgusting." Wilson shooed away the roll and it rolled back and sat in the middle of the table on it's side, a cream cheese icing trail around it.

"Dr. House - Wow, you're actually trying that three bean salad.. Even I wouldn't touch that."

House looked up from instinct at hearing his name and was about to answer, but remembered he had to pretend to be Wilson. Which shouldn't be very hard. Just smirk and stay silent. Chase was the one who had commented on the tray, Cameron right in tow behind him.

"Oh.. uh.. I'm trying a new lifestyle.." Wilson replied and his eyes went to the cinnamon roll mess on the table. Everyone else's eyes went to the mess too, but nobody commented.

House smirked on cue to the response and popped open his can of coke with a loud psssst. Eyes then immediately went to him, and he raised his eyebrows and grinned.

"Anyway, Cuddy sent me in here. She's pissed. Something about the patient's parents that came raging into her office about twenty minutes ago?"

Wilson's eyes went to House's, and House dodged eye contact and moved his gaze out the window as a smile creeped up at the corners of his mouth. Of course Wilson had no idea what Chase was talking about, House hadn't had the time to tell him of the little 'incident' that had occured earlier that day.

"Uhh yeah okay, thanks," Wilson forced out, not having a clue, and picked up his fork to jump into the salad that he didn't even really want.

Chase glanced at Cameron at his side and they exchanged a weird look. No comments? No insults?

House was trying not to laugh.

The two ducks walked off and Wilson put down his fork and stared at House trying to hide his laugh by wavering the coke can around his mouth.

"Okay, what the hell did you do."

House choked on the coke and almost dribbled down his chin.

"Cuddy sounds mad, you better rush up there right away. Remember to take the cane, you might need it in defense," House motioned towards the cane and smiled devilishly.

-----