Disclaimer: If I owned House, Wilson + everyone else, I would be hanging out with them and not sitting here on my bed with a laptop at 10:42am even though I haven't slept yet and I have to leave for work in 12 hours.

A/N: Wow thanks guys! I have a concern about this chapter. It's still not as funny as the first ones, but I felt I needed to include this in the story. Don't worry though, I still have plans for some hilarious stuff :)

Daphne Queen: Be patient my friend:)

Bad Burritos - Chapter 4 (House)

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House twirled around in Wilson's desk chair loving just how cushy it was. Maybe that's why Wilson had accepted the position on the board, he had gotten a little bribe.. He stopped twirling and faced the great 'wall of achievement' behind the desk. Dipolma this, certificate that. He got bored at reading the name Dr. James Wilson and faced the desk again, tapping his fingers on the desktop, looking around. His office was so dang small. He leaned back in the chair and rocked comfortably, and let his right hand roll open the top drawer hoping to find hoarded candy from the children's ward, a drawer full of booze and cigarettes, or any other skeletons Wilson could have stuffed in a closet.

Papers, pens, elastic bands, paper clips and a few highlighters was what he actually saw. So predictable. They were all arranged neatly in sections, nothing out of place. He slid the drawer closed and went to drawer number two. Half of the drawer was filled with upright files, boring. The second half caught his eye, an upside down picture frame. Curiously he picked it up and flipped it over.

Julie's smiling face stared up at him in front of some sort of nature backround. He narrowed his eyes a bit at the picture and then placed it back in the drawer upside-down as he had found it.

Better have a nice little dinner prepared, your knight in shining armour is on his way.

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The two doctors stood in front of the cherry red Corvette.

"No way," House said before Wilson could utter a word and held out his hand for the keys.

"I didn't even say anything."

"I saw the way you were looking at her, and she's mine, so gimmie," House prompted for his keys again and Wilson scoffed loudly and begun digging in his jean and jacket pockets.

"And what exactly are you going to tell your wife when you roll up the driveway in that?"

"That my good friend House lent me his wheels for a day or two, because all know how kind and generous he is," House said quickly like it was a known fact and gestured for his rightful keys even more.

Wilson snorted and pulled the magic ipod out of his inside jacket pocket, followed by a pair of keys. House snatched them, gave a second look and then grabbed the ipod as well. He made his way to his car, Wilson started on the way to his own.

"Hey Jimmy," House called, and Wilson turned.

"You might want these," House tossed over Wilson's car keys and he failed to catch them.

"Nice throw," Wilson called back dryly.

"I always knew you threw like a girl."

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House tapped his fingers on the wheel of his baby as "Paint it Black" by the Stones blasted out his speakers. He felt so cool in that car. Cooler than the rest of the suckers stuck in Volvos on the road, that's for sure. He took a glance in his rearview mirror to switch lanes and caught his eyes in the mirror. Wilson's eyes. It was so damn strange. He suddenly didn't feel that cool anymore. Now he looked like a teddy bear and that was very bad.

Minutes later he rolled up the driveway and cut the engine. He sat there for a a bit thinking of what exactly he was going to do in there. The lights were on, and he had no idea what to expect. Wilson had mentioned pissing her off. He was sure it wasn't Wilson who had exactly done anything; Julie was the one always getting pissed off for the worst things. She also hated House. So this was going to be perfect.

He got out of the car, grabbed his things and let himself in the front door.

As much as he hated basically any kind of human interaction, he knew that if she started screaming at him for something stupid, he was going to have to be Wilson's voice and put her in her place. He was House after all, that was his mission in life. To tell everyone the cold truth of reality.

The room felt warm and he heard clanging around in the kitchen like somebody was doing the dishes. House put his bag down by the door knowing if the woman in the kitchen grabbed one of those butcher knives, he would need to make a quick escape. The clanging and running water noise from the kitchen stopped and seconds later, she appeared in view, dishrag in her hand, other hand perched at her hip.

"Do you know what time it is?" she demanded and pursed her lips together. He already knew that any answer he would give would be wrong so he shrugged apathetically and went to look at his watch. "Don't play dumb with me James. I said I wanted you home by six."

"Yeah so I'm a little late. I was in a car accident on the way home and I was rushed the hospital with a broken leg, I'm sorry," House answered back with a little acid not even trying to 'play Wilson' anymore. This woman pissed him off so.

"Oh stop being an idiot," she motioned to his perfectly fine legs with the dishrag hands and scowled. "Your dinner is in the trashcan if you're wondering." She turned and stalked back up to the sink.

House rolled his eyes and followed her into the kitchen, watching her from behind and she crashed dishes into the sink.

"So dig it out, I'm starving." House slumped into one of the kitchen chairs ignoring her flaming red comment.

She stiffened and whipped around, dishrag back in hand, and now wringing it angrily.

"You remember what we talked about this morning, don't you?"

"I know that you talked, but I was thinking about rainbows. Refresh my memory on our lovely chat, will you?"

Julie let out almost a raging sigh and took a few steps closer to him.

"Care to tell me why the hell House's car is parked in my driveway? Did you bring him here? Is he hiding in the living room?" she demanded and stretched around House in search of 'House'.

"Would that be such a big deal?" House asked, and when she didn't answer right away because she was still searching, he added, "So where's that dinner I rushed home for? Bring the trash over here, and hand me a fork."

Julie glared at him and the hand was back on the hip.

"You know damn well what we talked about this morning. So did you do it?"

House rolled his eyes again, now he was being interrogated. I'm sure the scene just looked fabulous, him sitting in a chair, and her bending over him like his mommy.

He decided to play along, however. Couldn't get anywhere if he didn't know what the hell she was yapping about.

"Do what," he stretched out his legs.

"Ditch that loser! God James, what is wrong with you?"

So that's what she was mad at him for? For them being friends? He almost wanted to burst out in insane laughter. Childhood all over again. Don't hang out with that nasty boy down the street; He starts fires in people's rose bushes and steals cigarettes from his mom. If I see you with him Gregory, I'll give you a wackin' so hard...

House stood up swiftly and walked right by her to the trashcan to see if there in fact a dinner sitting in the white bag.

"I could ask you the same question - that is perfectly good fried chicken!" he announced to try to steer the conversation away.

Julie wasn't done however, and she stalked up to him and grabbed his shoulder in an attempt to make him face her. House waved his arm away at the touch and gave her a nasty glare.

"Listen you two-timing poorly dressed drag-queen, I don't know what your problem is, but I'm tired of you talking down to me like my name is Timmy and I have reduced brain capacities. If you have a problem with him then you're going to have to run upstairs to the bedroom and cry because we're friends and that's just the way it is. Deal with it," House spat angrily in her face. He no longer cared if Wilson would never have said that, somebody had to.

She was going to blow, he could see it. It was silent for a few seconds. She crossed her arms.

"Goodbye James," she said.

Crap.

He stood there for a minute staring into her eyes and then walked right past her to the front door.

Shit shit shit. He had no idea the "fight" in the morning had been about this. Shit he was going to have to tell Wilson. Shit shit.

He grabbed his bag that was left so handy by the door and left.

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