Sorry guys this chapter is Webb based, but I promise next chapter will be Harm/Mac. Thanks for all the reviews; I'm glad you like the story. It may be a couple of days until the next chapter is up (I usually write during science, but I got busted) I will have the next chapter up by Sunday (In Australia).

Disclaimer: I do not own or have any ties to Bellasario Productions or the characters of JAG.

BETHESDA GARDENS

1200h

Harmon Rabb was a friend. They had had their differences but he had respected the man, until now. Webb couldn't understand why the great "Harmon Rabb Jnr" had taken the easy way out. He knew all that Harm had lost, but still why did he choose to give up? Webb knew he would have to read his letter; he had to know why Rabb had taken the coward's way out.

Webb,

You never really came clean. You always hid things from us. That has got to change, don't you dare fail Sarah like I did.

We both love the same woman. We always acknowledged it, both of us trying to protect her no matter what the cost. She chose you Webb, don't let her get hurt. You don't deserve her, neither of us did, but she is yours. Do not screw it up. I can't watch her heart break again.

On our first case you just appeared out of nowhere. By the end of the case I'm pretty sure we both wanted to deck you. You did come through though, in your own "need to know way". We formed an uneasy friendship.

I never fully trusted you; I would have been stupid to, you worked for the CIA. I did respect you Webb. I respected all you had sacrificed for your country.

In Russia, you helped us again. I don't think I can ever repay you for your help. I don't know why you did it, probably another of you "need to know" spy tactics. You had a lot of them, some of them more disturbing than others.

Hell you even pretended to be dead. I have to tell you I was actually quite upset about that. Not about you lying to us, about the fact that you could have been dead. Surprising isn't it, the way things turn out.

You came back though, we were actually happy, disappointed but happy. So we continued on. You used Mac and I for many different and dangerous situations, almost getting us killed so many times. That was the only time when I hated you. When you put Sarah in danger, I knew I wouldn't be able to forgive you if she got hurt.

This leads me to Paraguay, and the god awful mess that occurred there. She knew the risks I have no doubt about that, but she was a marine, she would never back down from a challenge. You knew this and you abused it. I don't know exactly what happened down there, but I know you protected her. Thank-you for that, for saving her, doing the one thing I was unable to do. She chose you then, you had done all things I had failed at. She chose you and I accept that. It broke my heart into a thousand tiny pieces but I accepted her decision. I accepted her decision but I couldn't face it, I ran, I ran like I always do. I don't know why but you gave me a job. Thank-you for that, but I couldn't survive living your life. I am not ruthless; I can't switch my feelings on and off.

That little girl needed help and you killed her. Just shot like she was a paper target. I used to wake up screaming, remembering the crimson fountain spurting from her chest. Do you get nightmares Webb, do wake up terrified that somehow you have lost your soul? I did. I was not like you I couldn't cope. I failed and I lost my heart and my soul.

Goodbye Webb, you were a friend, a rival, a ghost. Love her like she is the most precious thing on the planet, because to me she was. Maybe one day you will wake up and realize, what your job has turned you into, but I doubt it.

Goodbye,

Commander Harmon Rabb Junior.

Clayton Webb sat in shock. He had not known just how much his lifestyle differed from Rabb's. He had sat back and watched as Harm had destroyed himself. It wasn't something he was proud of and he was pretty sure he would regret it for the rest of his life. He had always known that Harm wasn't CIA material, but he had wanted to see if he could cope. He obviously couldn't. For all his knowledge and privileged information, Clayton Webb had failed to understand real people.

Then there was Sarah. Rabb had been right; they were both in love with the same woman. Yet she had chosen him, and whatever happened he had beaten Rabb, he had got Sarah and she was his. He wasn't going to marry her or anything stupid like that. He didn't want children or a family, but Sarah could accept that, she loved him.

Now he needed to go find Sarah and tell her to say goodbye. She didn't need to be here while Rabb died. As he said himself, he had failed her. She needed to go back with him. She had her letter, now Rabb needed to finally let her go, so she could come home with him.