Hey guys, I finally finished this chapter. I have the next chapter almost written, so it should be up soon. Sorry for the delay, but school just got really hectic. Have fun.

Disclaimer: I do not own or have any ties to Bellasario Productions or the characters of JAG.

Bethesda Hospital

1500h

As Mac made her way back towards the waiting room, she started to think, again. Remembering every moment she had spent with Harm, some bad, but the majority of memories were happy.

"Why Harm? I know from your letter the reasons, but why couldn't you turn to me?" Mac knew the answer, deep down she knew. Her words in Paraguay had almost severed their connection. A connection built on eight years of friendship, trust and love. He knew he had also been to blame, but she had to take some responsibility.

Her biggest mistake had been kissing Webb. The only reason she had done that was to shut him up, and maybe to say than-you. That hadn't really turned out that well. Harm had turned green with envy and clammed up. They didn't actually talk to each other for the rest of the trip. Even when they had crashed he hadn't talked to her.

Mac couldn't believe what she had done; she had taken Harm's silence as rejection, when really it had been fear, stark raving fear. This revelation was tearing her soul to shreds.

"Ma'am, Ma'am, over here!" Harriet called out across the room.

Mac steeled herself for what was about to happen. "Harriet, any news yet?" Mac hoped and prayed she hadn't waited too long.

"No, not yet, but the doctor should be out in few minutes." Harriet's eyes were red rimmed from crying, but Mac knew what she was asking. What had her letter said?

"Oh God Harriet, what have we done?" Mac didn't want to show weakness, but she needed her friend.

Harriet drew Mac into her arms. Giving her the best 'mum' hug possible, letting her cry for the love she could have lost forever.

"I don't know what was wrong before ma'am. Our letters just told us how much he loved us. I know what we are going to do when he gets out though. We are going to show him all the love he didn't know we felt." Harriet's words went straight to Mac's heart. She knew everything would turn out okay. It had to; if Harm died her heart would to.

Bud and the Admiral noticed Mac pulling away from Harriet and went to join the two women.

"Ah, you seem to be missing a boyfriend Colonel?" A.J was offended but not surprised by the absence of the spook.

"We had a difference in opinion, sir." Mac knew they would want the truth, but her eyes begged them to drop it.

"Very well Colonel." A.J didn't require her to spill her guts. He only wanted an answer. "I guess we just wait now for news on Mr. Rabb."

A.J would never let it show but this was tearing him up inside. Harm had been like a son to him. Sure they had had their disagreements but A.J had trusted the younger officer completely. When Rabb had resigned his commission it had cut, not that he had run off to save Mac. A.J would have done that himself if he could, but for not trusting him to find a military way to do it.

None of that mattered now, not with yesterday's events. Harm didn't hate him, but A.J hated himself. He had watched so many 'Nam buddies walk down the dark road of self harm. Yet A.J had failed to see the signs in his own staff. He should have none what the C.I.A would do to Rabb, but he had been so caught up in his own hurt to see the pain of others.

"Who's is here for Harmon Rabb?" A doctor who looked like she had come straight from surgery called out into the waiting room.

They all stood and walked towards the doctor. A.J and Mac walked in front followed by the two Robert's.

Captain Tara Schultz had seen enough suicides in her time to know, the family and friends of Mr. Rabb would have a long haul ahead of them. Harmon Rabb was one lucky man judging by the looks of the people in front of her. Yet maybe they had only come to his aid now that he had called out for help. Whatever their reasons the prominent group before her needed answers. She recognised Rear Admiral Chedwiggen and Lt. Colonel Mackenzie from the television, but she could tell the younger couple were also military. All the people in front of her held the same equally concerned look for her patient. Judging by the look on the Colonel's face, there was a fair but of love for the commander on her side.

"The Commander is a very lucky man, so it seems. Thanks to the emergency treatment he received he has not sustained any permanent brain damage. We have pumped his stomach to remove the alcohol, but we're more worried about the pain killers in his blood stream. We will monitor him for a further week just to make sure he doesn't relapse." The Captain stopped there to see how the family was holding up. Having a friend/family member commit suicide was extremely traumatic, especially if they survived. It had been touch and go with the commander for a while, but he had pulled through. Seemed his body couldn't give up what his mind wanted to.

"Is that all ma'am." The tear stained Colonel asked.

"No Colonel. He is attached to a ventilator to help him regain his strength. You will be able to see him one at a time once he is moved to Critical Care. He is still unconscious and I must warn you, it looks worse than it is, physically. He may not wake up I have to tell you this. He will still be alive, but what is common with suicide survivors is that they lapse into a coma by will. I can tell from your presence that you don't want this to happen to the Commander, therefore I advise you to sit ad talk to him. When he wakes he needs to hear that people are there for him. I would rather not have to bring him back twice." With all these people there for him she could not understand why he wouldn't wake but she needed to take all possible precautions. "If you move upstairs to the western wing, I will have the nurses tell you when you can see him. Good luck." Captain Schultz turned to leave hoping and praying that the Commander would realise he was not alone and accept the love from his family and friends.

"Thank-you Captain." Mac knew the road was going to be tough, but they could make it together.

"You're more than welcome Colonel; just go teach Commander Rabb to love again." The love the Colonel felt for the Commander was almost palpable, Tara just hoped that they both realised it in time.

With that the Captain walked out of someone else's life, hoping and praying that she would never have to see them in the same position again.