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Day Two – Sunday
Lapin woke up before I did and nudged me with his foot as he stood up. "Dat little shit…" I looked over at Lapin, whose face was covered in pimples. Something coated his entire face. Touching my face, I smelled the slime: bacon grease. Looking in the mirror, I realized I also had quite a few pimples. We said nothing as we washed the grease off, applying treatment to the pimples before Lapin went to church.
Since my young friend was nowhere in sight, I decided to "relax" on my own for awhile to unwind, only to find that someone had replaced the lubricant next to my bed with icy hot. After screaming and suffering for a few minutes, I ran down the stairs after Jamie and found him sitting on the couch with my older brother and my father. Suddenly, it all made sense. He was only eight, and an eight-year-old wouldn't have understood fully what the purpose of switching the lube would be.
Deciding against killing him, I instead went in the kitchen, fixed myself some breakfast, and took the boy out to play in the swamps for the day. Really, I just wanted to isolate him from the others so that sweet vengeance could be planned, but there is something fun about romping through the mud. Instead, he nudged me as we made it outside and pulled something out of his backpack – a plastic container with bacon grease. After a few minutes, Henri's windshield wiper fluid had been replaced with bacon grease as my little friend and I smiled smugly at one another.
After a couple of hours of romping in the mud, I found myself wrestling several Jamie's as I sunk slowly into the muck. Standing to my feet with three of them holding on, I looked over at him. "Lapin, you, and Remy gonna have fun tonight!" We went back to the house and changed, then stopped by a drugstore on the way to Lapin's house, buying a box of plastic forks and several boxes of condoms. "These are…special gloves." I told him, not wanting to explain.
"I'm eight, not mentally retarded." He replied, apparently aware of their true use. "Plus, we live with a lot of older kids." I nodded as we arrived and met with Lapin, who was still covered in pimples and still sulking. Duplicating himself in anticipation of the chase, Jaime ran in six different directions as several clones were thrown into the pool. After a few minutes, Lapin calmed down and listened intently, grinning at us as he understood.
Duplicating himself again, we quickly unrolled the condoms over the forks and threw them into a box, then drove to Henri's house. Lapin and I watched while 10 Jamie's quickly stabbed them all into Henri's lawn in the shape of the words "Fuck You." We were laughing so hard we didn't even hear Henri pull up behind us and get out. "Jamie!" I yelled and grabbed one of his clones, intentionally throwing Henri off as Lapin and I ran in opposite directions. Jamie walked over and pulled his car keys out of the ignition, running to the back of the house we I was being chased and tossing them into Henri's pool.
"Grease, condoms?" He growled at us as we looked up at him from the water he threw us all into a few minutes afterward. "Y'all fucken crazy." Jamie grinned and dove under the water, coming up and splashing me.
"Why y'grinnin?" Lapin asked him.
"'Cause I put his car in neutral before I took the keys out." He smiled mischievously at us as we got out of the pool and made it back to Lapin's car. As we ran past my brother, I quickly gave his bumper a shove down the hill and got into Lapin's car as Henri's slowly rolled down the hill into another car.
"Henri gonna kill us." Lapin said when he stopped laughing. "It be wort' it!" He high-fived Jamie. "Hey, Jamie, wanna have some real fun?" I frowned at my cousin, who whispered into Jamie's ear for a minute. Jamie smiled and nodded.
Three hours later, the three of us entered an opera house, dressed incredibly nice. We settled into the balcony, then I nodded at Lapin, who walked to the edge, faked a gag, and tossed warm pea soup over the edge, causing all sorts of mayhem, during which Lapin and I stole the purses of several beautiful women and grabbed Jamie, walking out and laughing.
Fearing the impending vengeance from Henri, we drove to the edge of the swamp and got out of the car. Lapin got a blanket out and put it down as the three of is laid down, laughing at our day.
"Lapin missed y'Remy." He turned his head and smirked. "Wit'out Remy, Lapin gets into trouble all by hisself."
That night was really more fun than I'd had in so fucking long. We all fell asleep there, under the stars, after hours of talking about past adventures and future plans.