Chapter four

Ginny

I slung my bag over my shoulder as I walked back to the castle. I had told Hagrid that I was not feeling well, and wanted to go to the hospital wing. Hagrid, with his big heart let me go easily. Guilt filled me as I walk past the hospital wing, on my way to that tower that I love so much. I feel at ease going there at this time of the day, as I'm sure that Malfoy will not be there, and I was right. There I sat until my sadness could be no more. There comes a point where it just stops, and a wonderful sense of tranquillity fills your body. Soon, all I feel is emptiness. At least it's a change from feeling what I usually do.

Draco

I put her out of my mind for the 6th time that morning. I count to 10, and look back to the ingredients Snape had put on the board... 'Powdered wormskin, Toad eyes, Geranium stalks…' Geranium that reminds me of Ginny…fuck! What is going on? I hate Ginny Weasley, and yet I can't stop thinking about her. I have no idea why. What's worse is this feeling of guilt every time I think of here. Why do I feel guilty? What I said was true, nobody does care. Why would they? She's just a muggle loving poor girl. Even as I say this, I can't bring myself to believe it all. I need to find out why nobody cares, or if indeed they do. I need to get this girl out of my mind. And I will, I just need to sort it out.

I saw my opportunity that day after lunch. She was walking to her next class with that girl – Bessie I think her name is. I was behind her, and before she could turn the next corner I took the opportunity. I darted forward and grabbed her by the arm and pinned her up against the wall. I was too quick for her, and before she could register I looked deep into her eyes and tried to read them as best I could. I saw a fleeting look of fear that was quickly replaced with a cold stare. She had blocked me out once again. She did not struggle, but simple stood calm.

'Tonight. Be there." I whispered in her ear, knowing she would understand what I meant. Before she could respond I slid back into the crowd headed for their next class.

Ginny

I watched him retreat into the crowd... "Tonight. Be there…' Obviously he wanted me to come to the tower. But why should I go? Seeing him only makes me angry – the stupid git! What would he want with me?

'Sure, like there's nothing going on! What did he say?' Beth asked me as I pushed back thoughts of Malfoy.

'Oh, he told me that I bring shame to wizards." I easily lied.

'Oh, sorry then.' Beth said as her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

'It's fine. Come on we better get to next lesson.' I said as we too joined the hallway of people.

I waited until it was silent, and checked my watch. 11:30pm. I quietly pushed back my doona and got out of bed. I hadn't bothered to get in pyjamas before, so I was ready to go to the tower. I tip-toed through the common room and made my way silently to the tower. I have no idea why I'm actually going to meet him. I should go back now – but my curiosity is to great.

Draco

I waited there in the dark until I could feel her presence. Even in the dark, she was beautiful – but still cold. Obviously she was doing the whole cold stare she does to me. I hate that – it makes me feel like she's blocking me out. Hell, of course she's blocking me out, she hates me! I looked at her again, and she was obviously waiting for me to say something.

'Ok…since that night something inside me has been screwed up' I said in a neutral tone. I looked to see if her expression had changed. It hadn't.

'I don't know what's going on, but I can't stop thinking about what I did – what I said. I think I feel guilty. I hate that because I'm a Malfoy, and I shouldn't care that I hurt you. I don't want to care that I hurt you. But I do, although I don't know why. What I'm trying to say is…sorry.' I finished lamely. Ginny looked slightly surprised for a second, but then composed herself, and went back to her cold expression.

'I hate that! I hate it when you look at me like that!' I almost yelled. I didn't mean to say that, but it just slipped out.

'And I hate life, but we can't change everything to fit our way can we?' She asked me coolly.

'That's it. That is what I don't understand. Why? Why do you hate your life? Even though I say you've got a poor family and whatever, the fact is they love you Ginny! Do you know how lucky you are to have people care for your well-being, and to support you? You don't realise how lucky you are. Why do you hate it so much?'

'Why should I tell you?'

'Because against my better judgment, I want to know, and I care.'

'I hate life because I've been like this for so long. One day I was sad, and then I can't remember not being sad. It just happed so quickly. I'm not so sad anymore, I'm just hateful. I don't regret it, because I don't remember a time when I felt any different. I'm still the same Ginny to everyone, because how would they take how I feel? I know I'm lucky to have a family that care. I just feel like I'm so alone in this world. Nobody understands, nobody will.

'I feel liked I'm trapped, and I'm dying to get out. Something inside of me is missing, and I need to know what. I feel so empty, so sad. I hate being alone, but it's a reality I'm faced with. I hate the fact that inside my head it's madness, like a battle has broken out. I hate the fact that now; my fears have become my friends. I just need that something, that something that I'm missing.' Ginny said boldly, her voice quavering sometimes. I felt so compelled listening to her. And I find myself caring so deeply. I leaned forward and touched her face, gently leading it up to mine, and then I kissed her. Her lips were not glossy, but soft and delicate. I felt her arms wrap around my neck as mine slid around her tiny waist. I pulled her closer as I deepened the infinite kiss.

Ginny

I felt warmth in his embrace, in his kiss. I gently and regretfully pulled out of the kiss, and remained in his arms. I did not want to let go, although what must have been 5 minutes I did. Our eyes locked, but for once I did not block him out.

'Tomorrow?' He whispered. I nodded, and with one swift kiss he left. I looked back to the night sky, trying to place this feeling inside of me. It was weird. I felt a strange sensation in my stomach. I finally felt comfort in his presence. I find myself thinking I can get through tomorrow, because I know I'll see him that night. I closed my tired eyes for a moment and felt the soft wind against my face.

Next morning

I woke as the sun was rising. For the first time I can remember I woke with a smile on my face. I stretched my arms and then pushed my doona to the end of my bed. I slowly muster enough energy to get up and make my way to the bathroom which is attached to the dorm I share with 4 other girls. I turned the hot tap on in the shower, undressed and go into the scolding water. I swore softly, and then turned the other tap on so some cold water came out.

Once I emerged out o the bathroom in my school robes, I found Beth and Abby(a girl in my dorm) awake, waiting for the bathroom.

'You were up early' Beth commented as I made my bed, something I rarely did.

'Yeah I guess' I replied.

'And your making you bed?' Abby asked me. I smiled at this.

'It would appear so.' I said lightly. Abby laughed.

'Ok, so who is it?' She questioned.

'Who?'

'This person who's got you all…normal again.' Abby said bluntly.

'I could choose to take offence to that you know, but I won't.'

'Lucky me. So who is it?'

'There is no one. Seriously there isn't. I'm just in a good mood.' I said with my serious face on.

'She's got her serious face on Abby, she's not lying!' Beth said.

'Thankyou! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to finish my transfiguration homework before breakfast.

A/N – How was it? Please Review and tell me! I know it's been a while since I updated, but I've been writing more lately, so hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. Please Review!