Hmmm. Mizuki's presence seems underrepresented in fan fiction. I guess, technically, she doesn't really get that much screen time in the anime either, but I've always wanted to see her in some fic. Thus... this chapter. Too bad it's just a short one.

Disclaimer: Have things really changed from one or two chapters ago?

Traust Faellan

Chapter Four: Mizuki

It hurts to see you like this, Eiri.

You've never been anything less than smug, arrogant, confident, and indifferent. It's slightly unreal, even now, to be sitting here typing with you lying, an emotional wreck, mere feet away. It's surreal that I was actually comforting you as you, of all people, cried. It shouldn't be surreal, because I'm one of the few people in your life who realize how extremely sensitive you really are… I just never thought that you would allow anyone to see it.

I do care about you. No, not in that way. But I worry about you as though you're my brother instead of my writer. And it's taken this tragedy in your life for me to fully realize it.

I was young and blinded by visions of fame and wealth when I became your editor. I heard the horror stories from your previous editors about the nasty pranks you'd pull, like disappearing right before deadlines without a word, and about your rudeness and lack of all courtesy. In fact, I heard from one poor woman that you actually terrorized her. You were an editor's nightmare, despite the popularity of your books.

But I accepted the job anyway without seeing a single word of your work, because you're so talented that you're a veritable cash cow, and editing masterpieces like what you put out would make my career. I was as heartless as you seemed to be.

With that mindset, I shouldn't have lasted a week or two, especially once I met you and saw what you were like. You were every inch as terrible as the others made you out to be. But, reading your books for the first time and editing the chapters you gave me, somehow I was captured. Captivated. Your works was—is—beautiful. It startled and amazed me to see the complexity and sheer emotion you could instill in a page of written words.

You, plain and simple, fascinated me, because you had such a contemptuous and arrogant exterior, yet you possessed so much gentle sensitivity towards human emotion and motivation. Towards human frailty. And you could bare a character's psyche with such brilliance, through exquisite and poetic language. There is a reason, after all, that you're so popular. I'd just never thought that it was because of actual merit.

But I finally understood, and suddenly, I couldn't let you escape me. I wanted more than just to edit and become wealthy. I wanted to explore that dichotomy inside of you. The other editors hadn't seen it, had seen nothing beyond the surface. Either that, or they didn't care enough to live through the editor's hell you liked to put them through. But I could see your sensitivity, and I did care.

That's the reason Shuichi and I get along so well. Somehow, he could see it too, that side of yourself you like to keep hidden. He was fascinated too, drawn into caring for you. And that's why I could never believe he'd do something like you said he did. He cares for you too much to ever do that. I know you saw something, but it must be a mistake. I would stake my career on it.

I saw his eyes when I went to pick up your computer. He was so desperate to hear from you, so terrified that you hadn't yelled at him like you typically do when you guys fight. And he was so relieved to hear that I'd made contact with you. There was no duplicity in his eyes, and someone like Shuichi can't tell a lie. He just doesn't have the poker face for it. If he'd actually betrayed you, then it would be obvious, now that I'm looking back and remembering his expression.

It must be a mistake. It has to be.

Because you need him.

If what you saw was the truth, I know it would destroy you.

You've changed so much in the four years I've known you. Before you met Shuichi, you were so arrogant and cynical. At times you were even downright mean. Your novels were the only thing that saw your gentler side. Only through your written words did your genuine sensitivity and kindness flow out of you. You could be charming when you wanted to be; you wouldn't have been so popular with the ladies if you weren't. But to someone like me, whose job it was to hound you when you were late with chapters, you never wanted to be.

But ever since Shuichi thundered into your life, you've been changing. Slowly, but surely, that hidden side of you has emerged into the light. Not always, not even often, but I've seen it. I've seen it in the more mellow way you speak to me; I've seen it in the way you rarely pull pranks as terrible as you used to pull. You always seem to not care for Shuichi, but he's been changing you for the better, and I can tell that you've come to rely on him.

This isn't the first time you two have had problems. Shuichi gets thrown out of your apartment every so often for some small thing or other that annoys you. I think that you throw him out for such minor irritations to protect yourself. You feel like you've gotten too close to him, so you make up reasons to push him away. Maybe you're even testing him, trying to find out just how much he cares for you before you dare to depend on him. In some ways, you're such a coward; you're always so sarcastic about love, but I think you're just afraid to open yourself up and find out that it can hurt.

You were afraid things would come to this.

I don't believe that they have, though. I know that Shuichi would never hurt you like this. He loves you, and not with a fake love that melts away over time. I know what you think you saw, but it's a mistake. I'm sure of it. Shuichi was so hurt that you didn't want to see him, that you ordered me not to let him know where he is. He wants to talk to you so badly. He's so depressed without you. Do you honestly think that he'd be that torn up about this if it hadn't been a mistake? If he loved someone else more than you, don't you realize that he would be alright with how things turned out?

You just don't have self-confidence. It's silly to think that, isn't it? You're so collected, so in control of yourself and everyone around you. You always guide others where you want them to go, rather than letting people manipulate you. But deep inside of you, you don't have the self-confidence to believe that others could love you. That's why you're so certain that Shuichi could betray you. You never felt he loved you in the first place, so it would be only natural in your eyes that he would turn away from you in the end.

You're a brilliant man, but even the smartest people in the world can be stupid about the simplest things.

Shuichi loves you. And you need him. It's all as simple as that.

You won't talk to him, but you need him now, even though you deny it to yourself. You don't want me as an intermediary; you don't want anyone patching up this mess. But it hurts to see you like this. You're much more vulnerable than you let on; if you weren't there is no way you could be so understanding and sympathetic when you write your characters. And without Shuichi, I don't know how you could go on. I don't think even you know.

So even though you don't think you need help right now, I'll help. I promised you that I wouldn't tell Shuichi where you are, but there are other ways.

I will help you, Eiri.

TBC