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B Oots – Thanks for the comment! You'll see the grand plan in Chapter 4. Yay!

Chapter 3 – Like Snowball, but Dumber

Three years ago

Remy stumbled down the hall of Sinister's massive main lab, held up by Sinister's strong arm. "Good. You are improving." He hated it here, more than anything. Sinister lead him to a door, then opened it, leading Remy outside of the massive main lab. "Time outdoors would benefit you." He said, almost begrudgingly.

"Remy ain' dumb, ya fucken' creep." He said, leaning on a large rock that the entryway had been cut from. "Whatcha plannin'? More tests? Want me t'kill f'ya?" He stared at the ground. "Remy's done wit dat shit."

Sinister said nothing and opened the door, whistling and then waiting.

Remy, while puzzled, didn't particularly care what Sinister was doing. "If y'got dem intentions, drop Remy off at da South Pole where y'found him and fuck off."

"No, Remy. As much as I would love to revert to my old practices, things change." He leaned over and picked up a large white rabbit that walked through the door, summoned by the whistle. "You are like this rabbit, Remy."

Remy crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "How?"

"If I hurt or kill you, my daughter will hate me." He said, running his fingers through the rabbit's fur. "I left her to watch the lab, and my genetically-altered rabbits had names when I returned, including this one, previously known as 'specimen 22a.' Now affectionately referred to as 'snowball,' who sleeps in my bed while Liz is at university and occasionally nibbles on my ears while I rest." His look was one of defeat and anguish, having his projects ruined by his need to make the young girl happy.

Remy laughed, loudly and uncontrollably, for several minutes, his arms remaining crossed. Finally, a mocking expression planted itself on his face. "Liz, the big-breasted nurse is your DAUGHTER? I've been hopin' she'd let Remy put his hands on dem! Least he knows she like him, non?" He returned to laughing until he realized what he'd just said and bit his lip.

Sinister stood up completely straight and glared into Remy's eyes with the most threatening look he could muster. "If you appreciate having hands, I suggest you keep them to yourself." Remy nodded nervously as Sinister handed him the rabbit and they turned to walk back inside.

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Present Day

Sinister opened the tesseract and stepped into Remy's bedroom, hoping to surprise him, scare the hell out of him when he woke up, and then threaten him.

"Oh god, Remy, harder! Fuck me harder!"

"Liz…Chere, J'ai besoin de toi!" Remy's bright eyes opened. "MERDE!"

Remy rolled off the bed in an attempt to dodge the blast that shot out of Sinister's hand and burned a hole in the headboard. Liz rolled off with him, dragging a semi-charged sheet with her. Remy withdrew the charge and looked around, clearly startled. "Dad! Get out! Now!" She stood up and wrapped the sheet around herself and pushed Sinister out, "Have you ever heard of knocking? Or, maybe just teleporting into the hall and giving us thirty seconds to lie to you!"

"Liz!" Sinister yelled, prompting Logan to open his door and peer down the hallway, chuckling at Sinister yelling at his sheet-clad daughter in the hallway that smacked of sex. Some situations require no explanation, and he'd seen this very one take place twice before. The door quickly closed. "LIZ!" Sinister said again, as if checking to make sure the girl was truly his daughter. "Lizzy…" He groaned, and leaned down, resting his head on her shoulder, only to find that it smelled like cigarettes and Aqua di Gio; this was the smell of Remy if there ever was one. "Why must you do this to me?" Sinister said, almost whining.

"I love him, why can't you understand that?" Liz replied.

"I nurtured you as a child. You sat in my lap while I read you stories…and now here we are." He said, as if devastated.

"With all due respect, Father, I'm a little too old for your lap. A girl grows up and she leaves her father's lap and has to find a new one." Liz's face twisted into a strange expression as she realized how asinine her statement sounded.

Sinister sighed. "Why HIS lap? Remy is not right." He said, referring to Remy's mental state. "We have had this conversation before, have we not?"

Liz nodded. "Get dressed, you and Remy come downstairs to Xavier's office. We all need to have a talk." Sinister said. "I give you five minutes, do not even think about resuming those activities!" His face had a soured look as he turned and walked down the hall, remembering a similar occasion when he caught them accidentally twice in less than half-an-hour, having kicked Remy out of her apartment while visiting, only to find that he returned minutes later.

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Sinister opened the door and sat down in one of the chairs, spotting Remy, who had somehow beat him to Xavier's office, sitting on a couch. "You disgusting cretin! You have pink lipstick on your chin."

Remy smirked. "Remy knows. Left it dere jus' f'you, Dad!" Essex suddenly felt his right eyelid begin to twitch. "T'anks f'givin' Remy's femme a name dat sounds nice wit his. Liz Lebeau, sounds nice, non?"

Essex was silent for a moment, clawing unhappily into the arms of the chair. "Sometimes, Remy, the only consolation I have is the memory of all the times I tortured you for no apparent reason. Remembering your screams make me smile on the inside. Son." Sinister gagged on the last word as if it were poison.

Undefeated, Remy laughed. "Liz is a screamer. Remembering all da times she yelled mon name and all dem ot'er dirty words she knows makes Remy smile. Guess he just trying t'say he identifies wit y'."

"Please stop talking, Remy, because you are really pushing me." Sinister said. "I will render you sterile if you say one more thing before Xavier gets here. Am I clear?"

"Non! Remy assumed y'did dat already…maybe y'fille and Remy need t'start usin' protection?" Sinister's head shot up and his hands began to shake, as if his entire body ached to kill Remy. "Kiddin'!" Remy chuckled. "Get it?"

After a few moments of threatening silence, Essex sighed again, this time as if he was in some sort of pain. "Yes, Remy, it was very simple, a bit like your entire existence." He turned his chair around to face Remy. "Out of curiosity, did Liz ever tell you Snowball has a higher IQ than you do?"

Remy nodded. "Oui. T'ink somehow we made an exchange in y'lab. He got mon smarts and I need to fuck Lizzy like a bunny. What's y'opinion, Doctor Dad?"

"My opinion?" Sinister laughed sarcastically. "There is no doubt in my mind that I should have left you to die." Remy smiled at him, enjoying Sinister's obvious anguish. "Someday, I hope you have a daughter that falls in love and runs away with a trucker. A fat trucker, who is too old for her, fat, covered in tattoos, and an alcoholic. With a mullet." He forced a smile at the frustration Remy would feel in such a circumstance.

"Remy knows yo'not wishin' dat on y'future grandchildren."

Essex couldn't take it anymore. This was too much.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, REMY!"

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