Thank you to Teegs for Betaring

Chapter 6

His eyes went immediately to her bike, still here, two days since she'd left and she still hadn't come to collect it. She never left her bike anywhere. Each day it sat there he became more desperate, more worried, more frantic to find her.

OC would tell him nothing. He couldn't get any sense out of her, every time he asked about Max, she told him loud and long what an insensitive, undeserving, callous bastard he was.

Whenever he came near her or Cece they would stop talking and even with his transgenic hearing, he hadn't been able hear what they were talking about. Cece was treating him with the same disdain as OC, as were most of the female inhabitants of Terminal City, plus Biggs was avoiding him.

He could understand why Max might be pissed off with him, Logan, OC even. But he couldn't for the life of him understand what the hell it had to do with anyone else. He finally thought he'd figured out what must have happened. Max had decided to do something to prevent a pregnancy and something had gone wrong.

When consumed with regret and guilt, he had stammered this theory out to OC, she had screamed at him, so hard and so long that his sensitive ears had rung for the rest of the afternoon. Of course that could also have been because she had slapped them, hard. For a human she packed quite a wallop.

Beside himself by then, he had gone to Logan's. He'd practically begged Logan to tell him something, anything, he'd been sure he would have at least heard from her, even if he didn't know where she was. But Logan wasn't at all pleased to see him and it didn't take Alec long to realize he'd get no help there. Fighting the urge to end Logan's disdainful tirade, with his fist, he came away no better informed and even more worried.

He cursed himself for the hundredth time for letting her leave the way she did. It had felt so wrong. At the last minute he'd gone after her, when he'd caught her in the stairwell she'd averted her face from him and started to cry. She'd looked so fragile as she'd gone down the stairs, her head down, hugging herself, scrunched against the stair wall keeping as far away from him as possible.

He'd followed her into the street but she wouldn't talk, just wanted to get away from him. Fighting the overwhelming instinct to just haul her back to his apartment, he'd been afraid to touch her, hadn't known what to do. So he'd watched her as she walked away, watched her until he couldn't see her anymore, watched until he realized that barefoot and clad only in his jeans he was attracting undue attention.

From the moment she had left his sight he had started to worry, he'd worried about her in the past, but not like this, not frantic all consuming worry, until finding her was his only focus he couldn't work, he couldn't sleep. On some level he knew it was irrational but he couldn't help it. In the back of his mind he realized it had something to do with her heat, that it had bonded him even more strongly to her.

He tried to keep that disquieting thought in the back of his mind. His level of attachment to her prior to heat had been hard enough to deal with, given that she was in love with Logan. He didn't want to think about how much harder it would be now.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Joshua ignored him in the middle of command things started clicking in his head.

"You know where she is don't you Joshua."

"Why do you care Alec?"

He'd had enough. "I do care, I've always cared, I need to find her, talk to her, find out if she's alright," he shouted, oblivious to the fact he had every transgenic in the buildings undivided attention.

Joshua snorted. "Why did you tell her to kill your baby then Alec?"

"Wwhat did you say," he stammered frowning. "Who told you that?"

"Max told me. Max very upset, her heat upset her, you upset her, Logan upset her, lots of upset lots of crying."

Joshua must have misunderstood her.

"You've talked to her?" he asked frowning.

"She's been here," he thought, the penny suddenly dropping.

"She's here isn't she?" he demanded, looking about him wildly, nobody would meet his eyes. "I've been worried out of my mind and none of you had the decency to tell me she was safe, here?" he shouted furiously.

"Just for the fucking record." Now aware he was the centre of all attention. "Not that it's any of your damn business. I did not tell her to kill the baby. Now where the fuck is she?" he demanded angrily.

"She's on Oak street apartment with Cece and Biggs," Kat replied, surprising him, as she had been one of the women treating him like a leper over the last two days.

Alec stomped furiously out of the still silent Command.

"Better than a Soap Opera," chuckled Mole, to a smiling Joshua as normal activity resumed.

She's been here all the fucking time he seethed, as he stormed over to Oak Street. No wonder Biggs has been avoiding me. I'm gonna smack him so fucking hard, he's gonna be seeing stars for a fucking week.

As he rounded the corner into Oak Street, he found himself face to face with a startled Biggs and he did just that. Without even breaking his stride. Storming up the stairs, he banged furiously on the door only to have it promptly opened by an indignant Cece, catching him by surprise his hand poised to bang again. Cece took one look at him and punched him hard in the stomach. Doubled over clutching his stomach, he staggered past her into the apartment.

"Cece! What's…Alec," said a shocked Max. "What are you doing here?"

"What the hell do you think I'm doing here," straightening up, he kept a wary eye on Cece. "I'm looking for you, I have been for the past two fucking days."

"Well now you've found me, what do you want?"

Face to face with her, he had quickly run out of steam and found himself temporarily at a loss for words.

Shit, shit why do I always feel so awkward around her.

Looking at her beautiful face, he felt a wave of relief at finding her safe and well. Ever since Manticore burned and he had decided to stay in Seattle with her, they'd looked out for each other. Even if Max had been begrudging about it, she had still had his back.

She had been there for him and he needed that, valued it. He was afraid that she might cut him out of her he life because of what had happened between them. These past two days of her not returning his calls, of being stone walled by everyone as he frantically searched for her had made him realize how much he needed her in his life, even if it could only be as a friend.

He knew he hadn't done anything wrong, once they had started her heat had been out of their control. But Max didn't usually see things the way he did and probably wouldn't see this his way either.

Max could see him thinking almost hear the wheels of his mind turning. Why am I only noticing now, how when you catch him off guard like this, you can see what he's thinking and feeling just by watching his eyes.

She was starting to feel better a lot better. He'd been looking for her.

"What do you want Alec?" she repeated.

Alec pulled away from his thoughts, cast furiously about for something, anything to say "I want to talk to you." He finally announced triumphantly.

"About what?"

"You know what about, Max," uncomfortably he glanced  over at a glowering Cece. "Without Cece here," he said.

"Cece, Alec's…" Biggs trailed off, as his eyes encountered a scowling Alec.

"What happened to you?" Cece asked quickly, taking in his bloody and probably broken nose, her eyes swinging suspiciously to Alec.

"Ah nothing I fell over," he said quickly.

"You fell over," Cece repeated incredulously.

"Yeah, why don't we go next-door and visit Kat for a while so Alec, can talk to Max." Biggs answered, fingering his sore nose.

"I'm not leaving her with this pig," Cece protested, scowling disapprovingly at Alec.

"Max," Alec whined.

"Its all right Cece. I'll be fine I'm feeling much better."

"All right then," Cece said begrudgingly, fixing Alec with an evil glare as Biggs ushered her out the door.

"What do you mean you feel better? Have you been sick?"

"No, yes, well maybe…my hormones have just taken a while to settle down with my heat and everything else, I've just been a little off colour that's all. When two Transgencics…she faltered, when two Transgenics mate during heat it can take a while for the females hormones to settle down," she finished, finally meeting his eyes.

Its somehow comforting, reassuring just to have him here. When did I become so acutely aware of him she thought?

"Do you want some coffee?" She asked tearing her eyes away from his.

"Coffee? Oh yeah sure. Look I'm sorry Max I…"

"You don't have to apologise," she interrupted quickly. "It's not your fault. I thought it was mine but after talking to the women, I've come to understand its not my fault either its just genetics. Not my fault not yours," she added, eyes on the coffee she was spooning into the percolator. "So you don't have to apologise."

This is promising, no blame is always good. He thought, looking down at her as she fiddled with the cups.

"So, okay then, if it's not my fault why did you disappear? Why didn't you return my calls?" he asked warily. "Why has every body been treating me like a serial killer? I've been out of my mind with worry."

"Have you?" she asked, glancing at him curiously, "Why?"

"Why?" he repeated floundering. "Because I was worried." He said lamely. Way to go, really articulate Alec he told himself.

"Yes you said that."

"When will you know?" he asked, eyes watching her as she poured the water into the coffee machine.

"I already know," she answered, immediately knowing what he was talking about.

"Well are you?" he asked exasperated. It's like pulling teeth.

"Yes."

Over the last two days when he hadn't been worrying about Max he had thought about nothing but this. Max and his baby. All his thought and fears clamoured through his brain again. Did he want a baby? Could he keep a baby safe? Would he be a good father? Would she let him be a father? Would she stay with him as his mate?

Until this moment his feelings had been mixed he hadn't really known how he felt about it. But here now, with her telling him it was a reality, they were having a baby, he realized he did want it, wanted it with Max the two of them together. For a moment he closed his eyes, relishing the pure joy of it.

Max watching him saw the emotions flickering through his eyes panic, fear, uncertainty and finally wariness.

He still doesn't want it.

When he opened his eyes, hers were fixed on his, but hers were anxious and sad.

She doesn't want it he thought, his heart sinking, his joy fading. Did you really expect her too, did you really think that a couple of nights of heat induced fucking would change anything, change what she thinks or feels about you, make her want your baby. He asked himself scornfully.

Well at least you know she enjoyed herself. He thought bitterly. The pain in his heart was a tangible thing, he felt like crying.

She was still talking to him, lost in his thoughts he only managed to catch the tail end of it.

"But I'd never, ever do that" he heard.

Silence

I've just told him I'm not killing our baby and he's ignoring me. He's just sitting there. When has he ever, not got something to say? She thought, her eyes narrowing on him, as her mood moved mercurially from sad to rage.

Alec felt her eyes pin him, and watched them narrow, bewildered. Usually to get that kind of response from Max he would have to say or do something really, annoying.

"Why are you just sitting there, you big fucking oaf?" She shouted. "Don't you have anything to say for yourself?"

He looked at her in confusion. This was new, she was angry because he hadn't said anything.

"I didn't get this way on my own," she screamed.

"I know Max," he agreed placatingly, completely baffled, "I kno…"

"What sort of a person doesn't want their own baby, wants to kill their own child!?" she screamed.

He stared at her in disbelief, thoughts racing through his head. I thought that was something Joshua got wrong. She really thinks I want to kill the baby.

She saw the shock and dismay play across his face and it was too much for her.

This is not my fault. It doesn't matter if he doesn't want this baby, I do, Joshua does, OC does, we don't need him she thought angrily.

I'm not going to cry I'm sick of fucking crying. But the unwanted tears had already begun to stream down her face.

"Fucking hormones," she wailed, "I want to kill you not cry over you."

"Max," he said sternly.

She was sobbing inconsolably now.

"Max, calm down, stop it. We need to talk."

"Fuck off Alec, I'm done talking to you," she screamed, kicking him hard in the knee.

That's better he thought, wincing. Max is alive and well in there somewhere.

Grabbing her by her upper arms he turned her quickly around and pulled her hard up against his body, he hugged her pinning her arms to her sides, immobilising her. She was still sobbing hard.

"Shh, shh, It's alright," he soothed, rubbing his cheek against hers and along her neck. "Shh its okay, everything is gonna be alright, shh, shh."

"What the hell is going on in here?" Cece demanded, bursting into the room, Biggs trailing sheepishly behind her.

Alec didn't even look up as he continued to try and comfort Max.

She was still sobbing and he was still consoling her, long after Biggs and Cece had left.

TBC

Please Review.

The Emotive talk around abortion is part of the story it is not intended as a comment on abortion.