Title: Token of Devotion

Author: Psalm 136 (Coaltrain is lovely and put this up for me. SHE ROCKS!)

Rating: T

Disclaimer: It's not mine. Alatari is mine. I wish Elrohir were mine. I love short sentences.

A/N: Don't think that Elrohir will be better after one kiss and a hug from Alatari. Depression runs much deeper and people around you can't heal you alone. Things will get worse before they get better. Just so you know.

Token of Devotion

Chapter Five

Elrohir woke up, the morning after, and stared up at the ceiling. He stretched, feeling his back pop lightly and he groaned in pleasure. He slowly pushed the covers from his body and stood up. He looked out of the window and saw it was sunny. Ignoring his untidy hair and crumbled bedclothes, he went out onto the balcony, feeling the stone under his feet. He leaned against the railing and looked over Imladris.

He was increasingly calm and peaceful. Though the wound in his heart still festered, it was as if he was completely numb to the pain and receptive to the joy and peace simply living could bring. He looked over the land that would forever hold his heart and smiled. So perhaps not all of his former prankster, happy-go-lucky spirit was gone. Maybe he could heal.

A large grin spread across his sorrowfully handsome face and he laughed aloud. He laughed for sheer happiness that he found in his heart. He ran back into his room and shut the balcony door behind him. He quickly undressed and selected a pair of black trousers and a green tunic. He didn't bother to braid his hair and bound it to keep the strands from falling into his face. After he put on his boots, he was out the door.

Elrohir sprinted down the halls and only slowed down when he reached the dining hall. He greeted the room with a wide grin and refrained from sitting with his father and brother, and made a beeline for where Alatari sat, relatively alone. The young ladies of Imladris (or young by Elvish reckoning) disliked her greatly, for spending as much time as she did with him, the most eligible bachelor of Rivendell. Well, co-most eligible bachelor, but Elrohir was more known for his escapades with women, though most of the rumors were false.

"Good morning." Elrohir said as he took a seat beside her.

Alatari looked up, surprised by his appearance. "Shouldn't you sit with your family?" She asked.

"Well, if you would prefer…" He was disappointed and it hurt to be rejected when his day had previously been amazing.

"No, no!" She protested, dragging him down to sit by her. "I was just surprised. All the ladies are shunning me." She let out a sigh.

Elrohir put an arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry about them. They're just jealous." He looked down into her dark brown eyes and it hurt to see the rejection in those eyes.

"Why? I'm not that…" Before she could continue, Elrohir placed a finger against her lips.

"Do not think it. You are ten times more beautiful than any lady here." He declared shamelessly. Well, it was true, after all, in his eyes. And it was not just her face that attracted him to her. It was her spirit and her mind. She thought no less of him, even though she had seen just a glimpse of what he hid behind his face.

"Thank you." Alatari murmured and shrugged his arm off her shoulders so she could eat properly.

Elrohir watched her for a moment and then filled his plate heartily. He poured himself a goblet of wine, not the deep, strong kind, but the lighter type. He 'dug in', filling his stomach like he had just survived a seven-year famine. For the past few years, he had refrained from eating too much, wanting to break his habit of using food as comfort. He sipped at the wine and turned to Alatari.

"So, we're pretty much friends now, right?"

Alatari looked up at him and nodded, with a smile on her face. "If you wish it." She answered, eating a few grapes after she had replied.

"But do you want it?" He asked, a feeling of numbness filling him, to protect his fragility from getting hurt further.

"Of course." She pecked his cheek and left him speechless.

Elrohir watched her go and a grin spread across his face, spreading from pointed ear to pointed ear. He left his half-eaten meal behind and bounded out of the hall and into the bright sunshine. He took a deep breath, as if it was the first time fresh air had passed through his lungs. He had a friend, beyond the love of his brother.

Speaking of which, his twin joined him as he looked over the beautiful land of Imladris from the balcony. Elladan grinned at him and Elrohir couldn't help but return it. "You look like an elleth who has fallen in love."

"Oh, please, Elladan." Despite his annoyed words, the younger heir of Imladris looked fit to bounce off the walls,

"You have a friend, it seems." Elladan observed.

Elrohir nodded.

"She is kind, no?"

Nod.

"You love her, as a friend and a brother can?"

Nod.

"That is well."

Nod.

The brothers embraced. "I am happy for you. You cannot be alone in this. Your heart will be whole again, I promise you, Elrohir."

"Hannon le, Elladan."

Elladan inclined his head with a smile. "Now, I must go and entertain our guest. Feel free to join us or feel free to go find Alatari." He teased and dodged a swip to his head as he left his brother.

Elrohir stood proud, a true lord of Imladris. The soothing sound of bird song and of the crashing waterfalls eased him and his azure eyes had a small spark of happiness in them. He was content to stand there and just exist. He realized he didn't need to have lordship over anything. He didn't need to be seen as handsome. He didn't need all the little things he had formerly craved to fill the space within his soul. He just needed the love he knew he had with his brother and with his friend.

He left the balcony and walked down the stairs that ended at the lawn where he and Elladan and Legolas often sparred and practiced. The grass held so many memories for him. It was where his Ada had taught him to shoot a bow and where he and his Amme ((mother)) had many picnics when he was just an elfling and where he and Legolas had met for the first time. The lawn was where he had grown into the elf he was. A nostalgic feeling descended on him and he wished for the times when he wasn't alone. He closed his eyes and then opened them again and put those thoughts behind him.

"Elrohir!"

The named turned around and grinned when he saw Alatari rushing down the stairs to meet him. He slipped his hands into his pockets and waited for her to reach him. Her hair was mussed up and he took the liberty of brushing a few sections of hair behind her shoulder, his fingers lingering on her soft skin for but a few moments, before he dropped his hand to his side, as if he was not allowed to touch her beauty.

"Is there a problem?" He asked.

"No! Not at all!" Her eyes were alight with excitement. It radiated to him and a grin grew on his face.

"What is it then?" He interrogated her.

"I am going back to Lothlorien! I thought my brother had long since perished, but he is alive! He wishes to see me and I hear he has a lover, if she isn't his wife yet!" Alatari was nearly trembling with excitement.

Elrohir stared at her blankly for a moment, taking all this in. He was stricken and hurt and rejected inside. It tore at his heart to hear that she was going away, maybe forever. Though he did visit his grandparents frequently, he would not see her, for there were always parties on his and Elladan's arrival. It broke his heart. But he didn't let it show. He put on an excited face and hugged her.

"That is well, my friend! I am happy for you. I do not know what I would do if I thought my brother was dead." He put on the perfect nice-friend face on, hoping she didn't see his true feelings. He was tired of hurting people, and wanted for others to be happy, so they would not suspect anything was wrong. And yet, with her, he wanted her to know something was wrong.

"Are you lying to me?" Alatari asked, looking him straight in the eye.

He held her gaze. "No."

She grinned and hugged him. "Thank you, Elrohir! You will visit, right?" She looked up at him.

Elrohir placed a kiss on her forehead. "I will try."

"Can you escort me?"

"I cannot. I have too many responsibilities here. But I will try to visit soon, I can't promise you any date now." He said and bit down on his tongue as he fought away the tears that threatened to fall down and give his lie away.

"Oh." Her face fell and Elrohir felt horrible. "I must get my things together. I'm leaving tomorrow morning at dawn. Come and see me off, alright?" She requested and he saw in her eyes that she wanted him to be there.

So he had no choice. He gave in immediately. "Of course, mellon."

Alatari smiled and squeezed his hand gently. "I will see you at dawn, then."

Elrohir watched her go back inside to pack her things and he turned away. He started towards the forest and slowly sped up to a breakneck sprint. For he was an elf, he was merely a blur as he jumped over logs, vaulted over wind-felled trees, and dodged the bushes. Tears blinded him and he slipped in the mud. Though he didn't fall, he stumbled enough to make him grab onto a tree to steady himself.

He plopped down as ungracefully as an elf could on a tree stump. He couldn't move, he couldn't process a thought, he could hardly even breathe. She was his lifeline, the only thing keeping him to this world. The love of his brother wasn't enough, now that he knew there was more.

A hand touched his shoulder and Elrohir jerked, looking up at the familiar blonde lord with tear-filled eyes. "Leave, Glorfindel."

"Is it Alatari?"

"Yes."

"Why are you so heartbroken? Please, I must know, mellon nin."

"I am lonely. Life has lost meaning!" Color slowly drained even further as it started to sink in: Alatari was leaving. His dear friend was leaving.

Glorfindel wrapped the youngest twin in his arms. "It will be okay, don't worry." He let the young elf sob into his shoulder. "Don't leave us. You will see Alatari again, I promise."

Elrohir heard not the elder elf's words. He was consumed in his fears as waves of loneliness crashed over him again and again.