Wheee! 52 reviews! First I would like to thank all the fabulous reviewers who left a comment on Chapter 9! A huge thank-you goes out to: Siriuslyhermione, FairyKisses, kitotterkat, Airi Fairy, Mariah, Who cares what my name is, goblin monkey, unknownspecies, Lara Potter, MrsPadfootVerona, True Slytherin Witch, quidditchgirl13, GreenEyes, MysteryALASKA, lacatamar, NinitademiBrooke, aurora-sakura, LadySimone123, SnowAngel, RandomSmirf13, waterfaerie15, dreamchubb, Ellie, Aqb Dk, N.C.PysChick, Emma-Lynn, aishteru, FairyKisses, Elemental Water Mistress, AGoofyWriter, eckles, EmilyEB, Alli-Baby, MIDNIGHT-PIXIE, Lucy, Huggles4All, SilentRaven987, RainDateChick, hrrypttrfan, Angel-4rom-heaven, the-insufferable-know-it-all, xPussyWillowKittenx, NicciBubbles, GerardWay'sFanClub, Eowyn Organa, skysongcry, EponineWeasley, NotThePoke, dancerdw, RubyPhoenixFire, suckr4romance, Ronsreallove, and last, but not least, the first reviewer Sweetdeath04!
I do apologize for the late update, but I figured most of you were engrossed in HPB anyway...sighs...that book was most disturbing as so STRANGE and...I dunno...it was a little disappointing at times. All around, I still enjoyed it, I reckoned. I would love to talk about it with any of you great reviewers- most of my friends either don't read Harry Potter or haven't finished the sixth book yet, so please, I would enjoy chatting with someone willing to discuss it- my screename (AIM and AOL) is cellolover17!
Because I was so disturbed by the sixth book, for a while I didn't think I really wanted to continue fanfiction..especially since this one is SO ridiculously out of canon now- however, I think most of us- or at least I- need some humor after reading that deep, angst-ridden book. So, even if no one else reads the rest of my story, I'm at least supplying humor and a bit of comfort to myself, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, as usual, please read and enjoy this chapter! I'd really appreciate if you would leave a review if you feel that this chapter is worthy of one :-) I'm still striving for that 500!
I would like to dedicate this chapter to xhorseriderx4, who I chatted with online last night and gave me some great suggestions for my story!
"Broom closet. Pronto." I suddenly found myself dragged by a pair of muscular arms about a foot down the hallway and shoved into a very small, cramped enclosed area. The broom closet, obviously. I could hear Draco's every heavy breath, seeing as I was literally sitting in his lap. 'This is rather nice,' that annoying voice in my head snickered.
"If we're caught, then just play along." Draco's breath tickled my ear.
"No, really? I reckoned in that instance I would just lean over and snog your brains out. That would certainly improve the circumstances, wouldn't it?" I said rather snidely. I was NOT in a good mood. Not in a good mood AT ALL, for I was allowing my mind to freely run through all the repercussions of being discovered in broom closet with Draco Malfoy. And not only in a broom closet with Draco Malfoy at half past eleven at night, but SITTING VERY INTIMATELY ON HIS LAP! I could clearly imagine Snape's gleeful smile and his sarcastic drawl: "Well, well, well. Look what we have here..."
Draco elbowed me HARD in the side as the voices drew closer and closer, as if to remind me to not make a single noise. I rolled my eyes. One word. Men. They always underestimate the intelligence of we women.
"Yes, this is necessary, Minerva," Snape snapped from what seemed to be right outside of our hiding spot. "Parkinson swears she saw Potter and Weasley sneaking into the Room of Requirement over an hour ago! Who knows what could be going on right now?"
"This is what you summoned me out of my quarters at this ungodly hour of the night for?" Came Professor McGonagall's incredulous voice. I stifled a giggle. Only Professor McGonagall would consider 11:00 to be an "ungodly hour of the night."
"I highly doubt you were doing anything of importance," he sneered. "Probably just reading one of those bloody Warlock Holmes books all those Muggles love."
"Sherlock Holmes, Severus. If you are going to insult my choice of literature, then please at least use the correct name!" Minerva McGonagall rocks. End of discussion.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I am returning to bed at once. I don't know what in Merlin possessed me to follow you before hearing an explanation..."
"You're not going anywhere, Minerva, until I'm finished with you."
"The last time I checked, I don't have to obey your commands." I could imagine the Transfiguration Professor's nostrils flaring in their most unbecoming way as she spoke.
"But it would do you good to obey my wishes for just this once. Just this once, Minerva."
"And what if I am disinclined to acquiesce your request?" Ah, yes. An unlikely fellow fan of the Muggle movie "Pirates of the Caribbean."
"For the sake of Godric, Helga, Rowena, and Slytherin, just listen to me for thirty seconds. That's all I'm asking for."
Professor McGonagall yawned loudly. "My goodness! I am most dreadfully tired. I do think it would be best if I retired to bed right now."
"Do me a favor and never, ever, EVER become one of those bloody Muggle actresses. It is quite obvious that you are not in the least bit sleepy. I can read you like an open book, Minerva: Murdo is coming to your quarters tonight! That is why you are so anxious to get away from me!"
"Keep your voice down!" McGonagall hissed. "And stop using Legilimens to your advantage!"
"There's not a student in sight," Snape said lazily, "to hear about your upcoming sexual endeavors."
"You make it sound as though I'm a SCARLET WOMAN!" My favorite teacher said furiously. "He's my husband, for Merlin's sake! Can't I shag him?"
If it wasn't for Draco's strong hand covering my mouth, I surely would've burst out with crazy laughter at that point. However, there was a problem quickly approaching that Draco strong hand couldn't halt: the fact that I was about to pee my knickers from shaking so hard in silent giggles!
"I have to pppppeeeeee," I moaned in a muffled voice into Draco's left ear.
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn," he snapped quite rudely.
"Shag him all you want, Minerva. I'm surely not stopping you. One thing is bewildering me, though. Why did you come along with me if the first place if your lover if visiting your bed?"
"He's not coming until midnight," she sputtered, I'm sure blushing a healthy shade of red. "And I came with you to pass the time beforehand. And to see what interested you so. And to keep my nerves from shattering. However, when I realized that you were going to spy on Harry Potter and Ginerva Weasley..."
"This surely cannot be the first time he's ravished you," Snape hastily interrupted. "You have no reason to be nervous."
"I am anxious concerning his safety in his journeys! For Merlin's sake, Severus, I haven't seen him for nearly two weeks- he's been practically living at the Ministry-what if I never see him again? Also, seeing as you have had no experience in the romance department, I fail to comprehend how you could make a remark such as that."
"I've had much more experience than you- or anyone else, for that matter-know!"
"Forgive me if I do not believe that statement. I don't recall you being involved in ANY relationships during your years at Hogwarts."
"That's because that damn, arrogant Potter stole any girl I fancied and shagged her on the spot! He slept with every girl in our year except for Bella and Narcissa!"
"Do you really believe that?" McGonagall inquired softly.
"And his son is following in his footsteps..." Snape continued his rant, ignoring his colleague.
"You fancy Ginerva Weasley?"
"Excuse me?"
That did it. A slow trickle of urine was beginning to seep into my knickers.
"Draco...HELP!" I pleaded desperately.
"Do I have to do everything for you?' He sighed, fortunately quietly, and muttered a quick spell under his breath and waved his wand in my general area of distress. Immediately my problem was solved. I breathed a deep sigh of relief.
"Let me guess," I muttered out of the corner of my mouth. "You learned that from the Death Eaters too?"
"Yes. Drying up the bladder does come in handy sometimes, especially during battles. It's a terrible tactical maneuver to turn your back on your opponent so you can take a..."
"Enough!"
"However, there is one side effect: once the spell wears off in less than a hour, you will be visiting the loo in high frequencies."
"Amusing. Thank you very much for sharing that with me," I whispered.
"I do NOT fancy Ginerva Weasley," the greasy-haired git growled, bringing our attention back to the rather interesting discussion that was taking place a mere four feet away from us.
"Well, you DID say that James stole every girl you ever fancied and shagged her on the spot, and then you mentioned that Harry was following in his father's footsteps! So it's only logical to believe that since you obviously think that Harry is shagging Ginerva, you indeed fancy her!"
Draco turned to me, confusion across his handsome face. I, on the other hand, understood McGonagall's logic perfectly. I shook my head. Once again, MEN!
"You're extremely daft," I said quietly. Unfortunately not quiet enough, as I would learn a few seconds later.
"You are quite mistaken," Snape said silkily, "If you think I fancy Potter's little girlfriend..." He stopped in mid-thought.
Bloody hell.
"Did you just hear a distinctly feminine voice say, "you're extremely daft?" He asked his companion.
"No, I did not. I do believe that you are hearing things, Severus. Might I suggest taking one of those sanity potions you always brag about?"
"I'm not hearing little voices in my head!" The spy snapped. "There's someone in the broom closet- two people, actually."
"And I'm supposed to believe the wizard who makes wild accusations about noble, honorable Harry Potter engaging in inappropriate activities with his girlfriend?"
"Noble and honorable my arse. There's two students in the broom closet, after curfew, doing Merlin knows what! We must take action!"
"Oh, I don't think it's too serious, Severus. You ought to stop making such a big deal out of a small thing. Or, as the old Muggle saying goes, "making a mountain out of a mole hill."
"This is no frivolous matter, Minerva! Those two students are breaking around a thousand Hogwarts school rules. Are you going to just let that slide by?"
"Well, no, but..."
I could imagine Snape's cold eyes narrowing in suspicion.
"You think it's Potter and Weasley in there," he snarled. "You're trying to protect them and not be proved wrong by ME!"
All the time that they were debating about the occupants of the broom closet, Draco and I were doing some quick thinking. And, Merlin, did I really appreciate his intelligence and training with how he handled what unfolded next.
He flitted his wand over my hair, changing it to a straight, coal black, and mumbled some spell in the general direction of my face.
"Pretend you're enjoying this," he whispered, before crashing his lips onto mine just as the door of the closet swung open."
Pretend you're enjoying this? Heck, I WAS enjoying being snogged by the sexy Slytherin. Even if it was all just an act. His lips wreaked havoc on my senses and made every nerve in my body tingle most deliciously. However, something held me back from responding. As electrifying as his kiss was, it lacked a very important feeling that all of Ron's kisses had in great amounts: true, pure love. I settled for linking my arms around his neck and pulling his body closer to mine as the kiss deepened.
"Mr. Malfoy! Miss Valet! I am absolutely astounded!" Snape gasped.
I took a deep breath as Draco's talented lips left mine. It was time to see if my acting skills were less atrocious as my fibbing. Since the fourth year, when Ron fell for that French bimbo, Fleur, I had been teaching myself the French language, to discover what attracted him so (besides her looks, of course). I put on my most Cass-Ass-y face and prayed feverishly that it would work.
"I am absolutely astounded myself, Professor Snape." I adopted my best French accent. "This bloke here just dragged me into this broom closet and started passionately snogging me! Not that I'm complaining, however...Draco is VERY experienced."
Oh boy. There was going to be hell to pay the next time I was alone with Draco.
"Is this true, Draco?" the head of his house asked tightly.
"Yes, sir," Draco bowed his head in shame. "I simply could not control my lustful urges, so I yanked her into this most convenient closet before I ravished her on the spot."
I heard a VERY loud gasp from Professor McGonagall at his words.
"Why did you two have to interrupt us?" I pouted. The more detentions Cassandra got from this escapade, the better. "Draco was just about to..."
"Enough," Professor McGonagall thundered. "This is growing more and more ridiculous by the moment. Mr. Malfoy, you should know by now that you are NOT allowed to be wandering the corridors after curfew- nor ravishing witches in broom closets. You will serve two weeks of detention with ME! And Miss Valet, although you are new to this school, I'm sure you reviewed the list of rules and regulations I gave you on my first day and know very well that doing anything- especially sexual activities- outside of your dormitory after curfew is strictly forbidden."
"Does that mean Draco and I can continue this inside his dormitory?" I asked gleefully. Merlin, acting like that little slag was FUN!
"No, that does not mean that you can continue this inside his dormitory," my favorite teacher said angrily. "That means that YOU will also have two weeks of detention with me. And an additional three days with Professor Snape for your cheek."
A wonderful thought popped into my head.
"But Professor," I did my best to pretend to be crest-fallen, "Quidditch tryouts are next Friday! I can't miss those! I really want to be Gryffindor's Seeker!"
"Mr. Potter has that position filled quite nicely. And you should've thought of that before rendezvousing with Mr. Malfoy. Now, off to bed you two, before I am forced to give you detention for the rest of the year! And Professor Dumbledore WILL be hearing about this!" She called after us.
After saying a quick goodnight to Draco (and having him perform the counter appearance spell on me- I didn't fancy looking like Cassandra any longer) I sprinted as fast as my legs could carry me to the Gryffindor tower.
"Clever Miss Granger, very clever," a low voice came out of the shadows as I neared the portrait of the Fat Lady. Severus Snape stood there with a smirk, arms folded calmly across his chest.
"What do you mean 'clever'?" I snapped, knowing fully well that he had seen through my disguise.
"You know what I speak of."
"I know no such thing."
"Fine. Then I will have to hear an explanation of what YOU believe gives you the right to freely wander around Hogwarts after lights out. And then I will have to punish you with multiple detentions.
I couldn't think of a single excuse. Snape took my silence as a confirmation.
"You better watch yourself, Miss Granger." He walked towards me, black robes billowing. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into." And with those final words, he departed.
I stared after him, puzzled, and was still pondering what his words meant (and spazzing out more than a tad at the fact that he knew it was actually me in the closet, snogging Draco Malfoy!) as I crawled through the portrait hole.
"Well, well, well. She finally arrives. With swollen lips, no less."