A/N: Wow! 53 reviews! I would like to thank the following reviewers who left a comment on Chapter 12: KittyWeasleyKW, FairyKisses, lacatamar, CassieLupin, Elemental Water Mistress, aurora-sakura, ranydyz07, doublelily, MIDNIGHT-PIXIE, Sing-my-heart-out, silktophat, Hayls221, Lumos2000, Tinkerbell Faerie 2, Huggles4All, Bloody Corsets, Darkmoonfang, Cassondra, aishteru, RandomSmirf13, Tria Marie Val, Aqb Dk, kitotterkat, GreenEyes, the-insufferable-know-it-all, laura truewood, eckles, hermione2, madammarauder, skysongscry, RainDateChick, NicciBubbles, xhorseriderx4, dancerrdw, Lara Potter, EponineWeasley, AngelicOne, Nina-del-rio, True Slytherin Witch, cheekymonekyrulz, suckr4romrance, xPussyWillowKittenx, HufflepuffQueen, quidditchgirl13, Ronsreallove, Endless Potential, Eowyn Organa, and last, but certainly not least, -x-Holly-Berry-x-!
I would like to dedicate this chapter to lacatamar, who was the 600th reviewer! You rock!
I now present to you Chapter 13! Read, review, and above all else, enjoy!
"Professor Flitwick, DO SOMETHING!" Ron said quickly.
"I'm afraid there is nothing I can do," Professor Flitwick shook his tiny head dismally. "A very advanced, complicated spell caused this to occur. It is beyond my skill to reverse. You must all understand the gravity of this situation. Someone in this classroom used a terrible, bordering on illegal spell on Miss Valet. And when I discover who it was, I'm afraid the culprit will be facing serious punishment(s)."
Ooops. I should've known the spell was bordering on Dark Magic, seeing as I had located it in a dusty old book in the Most Noble House of Black.
Professor Flitwick stared at each of us in turn. I put on the most innocent expression as possible.
"Miss Granger," he said finally.
Oh, dam...
"Will you please take Miss Valet to the Hospital Wing?" He quickly wrote something down on a spare piece of parchment and sealed it. "And give this to Madame Pomfrey."
Pheesh. I was off the hook. Flitwick would never, EVER suspect me as the perpetrator for a crime like this.
"There's no need for Hermione to miss any Charms class," Cassandra said sweetly. "I am perfectly capable of finding my way to the Hospital Wing myself."
Or, maybe not.
"No, Miss Valet, you are new to Hogwarts, and even though you possess a great amount of intelligence..." (I coughed at that!) ..."it is easy for even the smartest witches and wizards to get lost in this huge castle. Miss Granger, didn't you have a bit of trouble locating your classrooms for your first few days?"
"Certainly, Professor," I beamed, lying through my teeth. I'd read Hogwarts, A History extensively before boarding the Hogwarts Express for the first time, and had spent many hours memorizing the general layout of the important classrooms (there was a detailed 10-page map at the end of the wonderful book!). So, alas, I had encountered little in the way of trouble. But Flitwick- and Miss Valet- certainly didn't need to know that.
"That's dreadful, what some awful witch or wizard did to you," I remarked casually as I tried to keep up with her VERY fast pace down the corridor.
"Please don't even pretend you care," Cassandra snapped, "because it's obvious that you don't."
"No, honestly, that wasn't very nice what someone did to you."
"Do I need to add 'hard of hearing' to your growing list of problems?"
"My growing list of problems? You for one should certainly NOT be talking. You have SO many issues that one could grow quite old, trying to name them all."
"At least I am not a bossy, arrogant know-it-all," Cassandra cackled.
"At least I am not a conceited, superficial, b-with-an-itch-y little slag," I countered.
"At least I do not insist on engaging in ridiculous catfights the way you girls do."
"Hello, Dr –er-Malfoy," I snapped, remembering at the last minute that Draco and I were supposed to still be sworn enemies for all intensive purposes.
"Hello, ladies."
"Is there a reason you are following us?" I snarled.
"Yes. I was afraid you two would kill each other, having to spend 10 minutes together."
"That's VERY touching," I snorted.
"Of course," he drawled. "You see, Granger, as much as I dislike you, it would be dreadful if you were to die. Life would be most boring without your know-it-all self around for me torture relentlessly."
"I'm flattered that you would miss me so much."
"And Cassandra and her damn sexy body- well, let's just say that 99.9 percent of the blokes of Hogwarts would have my head if anything happened to her that I could have stopped."
"You could've stopped Hermione from removing my chest."
Draco chortled. "Granger? Doing Dark Magic? You must be kidding! That prim and proper Mudblood? She couldn't cast a spell like that, even if she tried!" Alas, I could. And Draco knew that darn well. He was putting on a pretty good show, though. However, it was yet to be seen if Cassandra actually believed a word that came out of his mouth.
"It's obvious where your true allegiances lie," the black-haired bimbo smiled wickedly.
"Yes, it is. With my mates and my family."
"No, with this filthy piece of scum walking beside us."
The dead sexy Slytherin rolled his slate grey eyes. "You really reckon that I would ally myself with someone of HER likes?"
"Prove it," Cassandra whispered. "Prove that you really despise Hermione."
"Why do you care?" I suddenly growled.
"Oh, 'Mione, are we getting jealous?" She adopted a "baby-voice." "Just because I fancy Draco and want to know for sure that he doesn't enjoy associating with ugly girls such as you?"
"No, "we" is not getting jealous," I smirked. 'And it's clear you don't fancy Draco," I added silently. I had an inkling what she was truly up to...
"So you wouldn't mind terribly if I were to kiss Draco right now, in front of you?"
"Of course not," I said with a laugh. "I loathe Malfoy more than you would know."
Cassandra sauntered over to Draco and laid a manicured hand on his chest. I saw the smirk on his face as she began to purr.
"Er- I thought you didn't fancy me," he said, putting a fake look of bewilderment on his face as her lips came closer and closer to his.
She gave a tinkling laugh. "I didn't fancy you seducing me. I have to be the seductress, not the seductee."
That was certainly a lame excuse. Even I could figure out that she had something up her sleeve- after all, from what Draco told me, she'd blatantly refused his attempts and hinted that she knew exactly what he was doing.
"I thought this was what you wanted," she added throatily. "After all, you did yank "me" in a broom closet late last night and proceed to snog me senseless, didn't you?"
"This is exactly what I wanted," he said huskily, before slamming his lips into Cass Ass's perfectly ruby red ones. They kissed passionately for a bloody long time. Alas, then the best person imaginable in that particular situation gasped. I whirled around to see...Ron.
"You look disturbed- why?" I asked in a bored sort of tone as I watched the two wealthy teenagers continue to engage in a battle of the tongues.
"N-n-no reason," Ron stammered, the tips of his ears turning a bright red. "It's just that I never expected THOSE two to hook up. I mean, Cassandra's SO nice and Malfoy is a twitchy little ferret!"
"Stranger things have happened." I wrapped my arm around his waist. "Oi, Cassandra!" I yelled. "Get your non-existent buttocks over here this instant! Unless you don't want Madame Pomfrey to help you re-grow your breasts!"
Crack. The sound of a harsh slap reverberated through the air.
"You sick basta..." Bimbo Barbie shrieked, pushing away from the Seeker-who-currently-had-a-red-mark-on-his-face-in-the-shape-of-a-hand with all her might. "Ronald! Oh, Ronald!" She ran sobbing into Ron's arms. "H-h-he tried to hit on me!" I glanced over to Draco, who sneered.
"What's the matter, Granger, got some dragon dung under your nose?" Ah, how I missed those insults. Unfortunately, Ron didn't even rise to my defense- seeing as he was currently occupied with soothing a frazzled Cassandra Valet.
"That's what the matter is," I whispered, cocking my head towards the redhead and Ice Princess.
"That was not the desired effect- believe me," he confided to me quietly. "I started kissing her in an effort to make her believe that I really do like her, and it's not just part of some "plan." I continued at it when Ron came into view, in the hopes that it'd make him supremely angry- at both of us. Seeing your worst sworn nemesis snogging the hell out of a hot transfer student usually works- especially if said transfer student doesn't put up any resistance."
"But she did."
"I was not planning on her seeing Ron until it was too late. You see, she was seducing me in the hopes that YOU would become very jealous and say or do something that she could use against you. However, once again she outsmarted me. When she caught sight of Ron, she pretended that I had thrown myself at her- when in reality, we both kissed by our own free will- for our own different reasons."
"I know I'm supposed to be clever and everything," I shook my head in a smidgen of frustration, "but, quite frankly, I'm not really understanding what's going on."
"Are you two talking CIVILLY?" An incredulous voice interrupted our conversation.
"Of course not, Ron," I sighed, tucking an errant strand of vivid red hair behind his ears. "I am just informing Malfoy as calmly as possible just what will happen to him the next time he messes with one of the Gryffindor girls."
"Good," he said with obvious relief. "I just thought for a second that- well the idea is SO crazy-hell, it scares me to even think of it-I thought that you-you and Malfoy-never mind, it could never happen- I thought-I thought.."
"You thought WHAT?" I asked impatiently.
"I thought you were actually FRIENDS with the smarmy git!" Ron said softly, looking terrified at the very thought.
I gave a nervous laugh. "Me, friends with MALFOY? Surely you jest!"
"He doesn't jest," Draco said smoothly, slinging an arm over my shoulders. "Hermione and I- well, we're friends. Very good friends. Quite intimate friends! In fact, we're more than friends!"
"Get off me, you slimy ferret!" I yelled, trying my best not to crack a grin.
"That's not the tune you were singing last night in my dormitory," Draco said slyly.
"You evil prat!" I growled. "I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last wizard on Earth!"
Suddenly, the tip of Ron's wand was placed directly at Ron's neck. "You stop talking about MY girlfriend like she's a scarlet woman, or else I'll hex you so badly that you won't be able to even take a pi.."
"Ron!" I admonished his swearing, but secretly I felt all warm and fuzzy inside at his strong possessiveness of yours truly. The object of my affections put his muscular arm around my shoulders, pulled me flush against him, and looked at Draco intently, as if challenging him.
"No need to get your knickers in a twist, Weasley. I was joking."
"Ha ha. Very funny," the redhead said stiffly, still fingering his wand. "Come on Hermione- we're leaving."
"What about ME, Ronald?" Cassandra pouted. "Are you going to leave ME here with Malfoy, after he tried to SEDUCE ME?"
"Hermione and I will walk you to the Hospital Wing," Ron flashed her his infamous lopsided grin. The one that was reserved for ME. And only for ME. Always for me. Grrr...!
"Good," she smiled with relief.
"Er- you two go right on ahead,"I said weakly. "I'm not feeling so well myself." The truth was, I simply couldn't stomach watching another good half-hour of the Ice Princess's shameless flirting with Ronas her boobs were re-growing. "Take a close look, Ronald. Aren't they getting bigger?"
Knut for your thoughts," a voice broke through my thoughts as I watched the figures of Ron and Cassandra diminish in the distance.
"They're scarcely worth that," I frowned, not really in the mood to talk to Draco.
"You have to admit, my whole 'pretending that we're lovers' scheme worked bloody brilliantly."
"Yes, it did," I admitted grudgingly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, seeing as I have detention in two hours, I'd really fancy getting a good start on all my homework."
"You're not going to catch up with them and chaperone?"
"It would be a fruitless endeavor. Whether or not I'm there, Ron will still gaze at that slag adoringly."
"But you have to admit, it's obvious that he still loves you."
"Yes, it is." I stared off into the distance. "However, it is also obvious that his eyes are wandering a bit too much."
"Hey, you did say that I'm quite sexy." Draco winked roguishly. "Your eyes are certainly wandering as much as his."
That certainly stopped me dead in my tracks.
"They are NOT," I snapped, knowing in my heart that every word that exited the Death Eater's mouth was 100 percent true, unfortunately.
"Yes, they are," he said airily, patting me on the shoulder consolingly. "I reckon I ought to get my twitchy little ferret self out of here, before someone sees YOU associating with ME! Or, even worse, ME associating with YOU! Oh, the horrors!"
"You do have an evil reputation to uphold," I shrugged. "I don't take that offensively. See you around."
"Later," he nodded to me in acknowledgement. As he left, I sank down to the cold stone floor, hugging my knees to my non-ample chest, his earlier words echoing through my head."Your eyes are certainly wandering as much as his." Was I really just as bad as my boyfriend? Or was I worse?
Hmmm. Whereas Ron was captivated by her sultry good looks and responded to her shameless flirting just with kindness and friendliness,I had met another bloke who I met at strange hours behind my boyfriend's back, had snogged in a broom closet, and fantasized about his lips! (Not saying that Ron never had any "dreams" about Cassandra-I'm certain he did!). Ooops! Although Cassandra was obviously a threat, I had to stop blaming Ron so much. He was just doing what came natural to him- being the fantastic, friendly bloke that he was. The fantastic, friendly, and unbelievingably DAFT bloke that he was. I had to watch my step and change my strategy. If Ron's reaction to me possibly being mates with Draco was any indication of things to come, if he ever, ever, EVER found out about my alliance with him and some of the things that we had done, it would be over. All over. I would lose my boyfriend for "seeing" Draco Malfoy behind his back, when in reality the reason I began fratenizing with Draco Malfoy in the first place was to save my relationship with him!
"Miss Granger?" Professor McGonagall inquired. "Are you all right?"
"I'm find. Just pondering the meaning of life." I managed to crack a rather pathetic grin- but a grin, nevertheless.
"Will you please accompany me to my office?" she asked.
"S-sure," I answered shakily. The horror must've shown on my face, because...
"Oh, I assure you that you're not in trouble. Unless..." The corners of her lips turned up. "...Unless you've done something that has warranted a punishment."
"Want me to start making a list?" I thought wryly.
"Oh, no, Professor, I have been very well-behaved these past few days." I gave her a small wink. "Besides giving Cassandra diarheaa, removing her breasts using a Dark spell, and associating with Draco Malfoy quite frequently, even letting him KISS ME one time. Well, it was for a cover-up, but STILL!"
"Then, by all means, do not worry and follow me!" My favorite teacher beckoned for me to follow. Hmmm. What did McGonagall want with me?
A/N: I know this chapter was probably boring compared to some of the other ones, but I've realized (through some reviewers' comments and on my own) that one ofthese chapters actually has to show hints of a plot, not just 2,000 wordsof witty insults thrown back and forth, etc. So, trust me when I say that the next chapters may be a bit more interesting- this one was just necessary!
Coming up next Saturday: Chapter 14!