Fizzing Whizbees! 53 reviews! I'd like to thank the follow people for leaving such uplifting comments on Chapter 15: rainydyz07, Lumos2000, Huggles4All, quidditchgurl07, Maria A, waterfaerie15, FairyKisses, ThePhamtomIt14, Liz 3, Loku, Azu Luna, Ayantara, unknownspecies, GreenEyes, lacatamar, AshEllie, SafetyXPins, Elemental Water Mistress, WhiteRoseDancer, gobin monkey, dancerrdw, xmisscutiepiex, Ron Lover 2005, Angelic One, NicciBubbles, Sing-my-heart-out, TrueBluePotterFan, random person you don't know, suckr4romance, chanel09 , the-insufferable-know-it-all, endowed with insanity, MIDNIGHT-PIXIE, Endless Potential, RubyPhoenixFire, ShadowHexx771, IluvLost9393, doublelily, True Slytherin Witch, Gene Kelly, Tria Marie Val, aishteru, kitotterkat, RandomSmirf13, Nina-del-rio, rgluvr13, xPussyWillowKittenx, hermione256, quidditchgirl13, Eowyn Organa, skysongscry, Ronsreallove, and last, but certainly not least, MysteryALASKA.
I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Sing-my-heart-out, who I chat with online- she recently gave me some fab ideas for this chapter! You rock, gurl!
I'm hoping that I'll be posting Chapter 17 on Saturday. Luckily, I'm ahead of schedule with this chapter, so I should be able to get a good start on the next one before (da da dum) school (eek!) starts and have little problems meeting the deadline. That said, please read, review, and above all else, ENJOY!
"Your lips can certainly be considered a weapon," I sighed.
"I'd say." Cassandra strode into the dormitory, clad in a scandalizing short jean skirt and a red spaghetti strap top, both of which were quite wrinkled.
"And just where were you, Cassandra?" I sneered.
"That would be NONE of your business, Hermione," she smirked." And I would have to agree with you- Ron's lips can be a deadly weapon at times...but delightfully deadly!"
My mouth opened and closed wordlessly as I felt fury as I had never experienced before rise up in my petite body. WHAT IN MERLIN WAS SHE TALKING ABOUT?
Cassandra smiled sweetly at my absolutely furious and shocked expression.
"If I were you, Hermione, I'd go and break up the fight between your two lovely roommates and Dean and Seamus before there are any casualties."
"I am NOT moving from this spot," I hissed, "Until you tell me just what you meant by that little remark of yours."
"Oh, when I said that Ronald's lips are a delightfully deadly weapon?" She asked offhandedly, and then gave a light little titter. "Oh, please, Hermione. Don't tell me that you actually thought that your boyfriend and I actually kissed! I would never DREAM of coming between you two- it is obvious that you are SO in love with each other! It's quite sweet, actually!"
"You LIE!" I snarled. "Ever since you've come to Hogwarts, all you've been trying to do is break Ron and I up!"
Ron stared at me as though I was utterly crazy and deranged.
"Hermione, what is your problem? Give her a chance to explain herself!"
"What is MY PROBLEM? How would you feel if some other bloke was here with us, saying over and over again how my lips are a delightfully deadly weapon? Oh, I'm sure you would feel all warm and fuzzy inside, wouldn't you?"
"Hermione." Cassandra put a cold hand on my shoulder in a gesture of consolation. Consolation my arse. I shivered at her touch. This girl was EVIL beyond belief- absolutely PURE EVIL.
"Get your hand off of me RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" I growled.
"How I know that Ron's lips can wreak havoc on any girl's senses," she began ever so sweetly, "is by just watching him."
"Well, aren't you extremely talented," I said quite sarcastically, flashing her an obviously-fake smile. "I stand here in utter awe of your innumerable gifts, to be honest. Were you born like that?"
"Please, Hermione, be reasonable," Ron sighed.
"When I watch him," Cassandra continued, completely ignoring our little exchange, "I see that he is a passionate, fiery bloke, and thus I conclude that he kisses in much of the same manner- very rough and passionate, pouring his whole soul into each meeting of the lips."
I absolutely, absolutely, ABSOLUTELY hated myself for this, but I agreed 100 percent with the sleazy bimbo.
"Perhaps you're right," I said airily, laying my head on Ron's shoulder. "But that doesn't mean I appreciate YOU discussing what MY boyfriend's lips can do."
"Blimey, Hermione, don't get your knickers in a twist," Ron muttered.
Ha. By the looks of the reddened tips of his (I'm sorry to say) rather large ears, he was quite enjoying having a sultry witch compliment him on his lips and certainly found it flattering.
"I'm NOT getting my knickers in a twist," I said hotly. Suddenly I found a headful of silky black hair in my face as Cassandra forcefully ushered me to the door.
"You must go out there RIGHT this instance and break up that quarrel," she insisted, as though she actually CARED what happened to her fellow Gryffindors.
"Why can't YOU do it?" I whined, attempting to hold my ground, but unfortunately, Cassandra possessed a LOT more strength in those delicate arms of hers than I would ever had imagined. Within 5 seconds, I found myself watching Lavender yell at Seamus until her face turned purple while Dean and Parvati were both pretending not to know the two or acknowledge the other's existence.
"Those two have been going at it for AGES," Parvati yawned. "And I don't know either of their names, or else I would certainly scream both of them in a highly colorful sentence that would make my grandmother roll over in her grave."
"Did I hear someone say something? Or was that just the wind?" Dean said snidely, watching as Lavender started yanking on Seamus's short hair.
I looked at Parvati. "I know why those two are fighting, but your problem is..."
My roommate sniffed.
"He..." she pointed a finger accusingly at Dean, "insinuated that I am a disloyal person when I chose NOT to pick sides in the argument."
"For Merlin's sake, Parv, Padma's your sister! Don't you want to protect her boyfriend from the likes of HER?"
"The name that you just spoke with great distaste also happens to be my best friend," the Indian beauty said crossly, "So I'd appreciate if you would keep your opinion to yourself."
"So much for sisterly love," Dean sniggered. "And I thought you were better than that, Parv. You really think that it's justified for Lavender to inflict bodily harm on Seamus just because she's jealous that he's going out with your twin sister? It may have slipped her mind that it was SHE who initiated that huge break-up last year..."
"Kiss him," I whispered into Parvati's ear. "Right now, hard on the lips. It's the only thing that will shut him up AND distract our two rowing mates."
"Are you SERIOUS?' She hissed back. "He would NEVER want that!"
"Look, Parvati, I'm experienced in these matters. Ron and I shared our very first kiss during a quite heated argument..."
"You lie," she snorted under her breath.
"Yes, I do," I admitted. "But we came SO very close to doing so many, many times at the apex of anger."
"That doesn't count."
"Who gives a Fizzing Whizbee? I sure as Merlin don't. The point I am trying to make is, when you quarrel with a bloke often, usually that is an indication that you both fancy each other. There is a fine line between love and hate, you know. And in the heat of anger, your furious passion can turn into another type. Quite the delightful type, if I say so myself..."
"But we don't quarrel often," Parvati said with confusion. Her bewilderment was justified. I was puzzling even myself with my logic- something that seemed to be happening more and more often.
"It doesn't MATTER," I sighed. "Just DO IT or else I will tell the whole school about your short fling with a certain Vincent Crabbe..."
"That happened in FOURTH YEAR!" Parvati protested. "And it lasted for all of 5 minutes- I was on a dare!"
"I don't care what you were on...I will blab unless YOU snog!"
"Fine." Cheeks VERY rosy (one of the few times I have EVER seen the collected, self-assured Parvati Patil blush), the witch aggressively slammed her mouth into Dean's plump lips. The receiver-of-her-snogs, I noticed with no little satisfaction, seemed to be enjoying himself QUITE much, as indicated by the little moans and sounds of contentment he was making.
"Parvati! Dean!" Lavender gasped, letting go of her ex-boyfriend's hair as watching her two good friends with surprise written across he face.
"Yes, that WOULD be their names," I smiled sweetly.
"When I heard the sounds of snogging, I assumed that it was you and Ron!" Lavender informed me. "Where is he, by the way?"
My eyes widened. In trying to convince Parv to kiss Dean, who she had fancied for YEARS but never worked up the nerve to do anything about, I'd forgotten all about the fact that Ron was alone with a seductress in MY dormitory. A seductress who had 99 percent of the male population of Hogwarts wrapped around her little finger (the exception, of course, being Draco and Harry).
Before I could do anything, however, my legs were swept out from beneath me.
"Bloody, Hermione, I didn't know you were there!" Ron apologized, helping me get up from the wooden floor (the door to the dormitory had hit the back of my legs as he had opened it).
"I'm fine," I murmured, trying to figure out how much of a social faux pas it would be to rub my aching buttocks in front of six other people.
"Well then, good-night, Love." He rubbed my arm lightly as he and Seamus attempted to pry Dean away from Parvati.
"That's not FAIR," Dean griped.
"Yes it is, mate. None of us fancy seeing any little Parvatis or Deans running around 9 months from now, k?" Parvati looked HIGHLY affronted as she rebuttoned the first three buttons of her blouse.
"Have you any propriety, Parv?" I asked the dazed black-haired witch as, extremely puffy lips and all, she climbed into bed. "I mean, putting on a display like that..."
"You told me to kiss him." She shrugged before pulling her hangings shut.
"But not practically SHAG him," I grinned, before shooting Cassandra an icy glare- and when I mean icy, I am referring to SO cold that I'm surprised her face didn't freeze over as she received my VERY frosty look.
"Your boyfriend is SUCH a dear," Cass-Ass chuckled, before turning the lights out with a wave of her slender wand.
"A cat? Very clever choice, Miss Granger."
"Well, you said at our second session that my animal should be something quite abundant in most habited areas and of a fairly small size." I blushed. "I reckoned that was a good choice."
"One of the best," Professor McGonagall winked as right before my eyes she turned into a stiff tabby cat.
Once she returned to her human form, I commented, "That fascinates even more than the first time I ever saw you do that because now I know just HOW difficult it is to be an Animagus."
"I see you've been doing your homework." Professor McGonagall nodded approvingly at the vast array of books in my messenger bag.
"Of course," I smiled politely. I needed SOMETHING to keep my mind off other things. It was late Sunday afternoon- 5 days had passed since the "delightfully deadly weapon" incident and the life had NOT gotten any better. Harry was still FURIOUS at me, Ginny was stuck in the middle, and Ron- well Ron was daft Ron as usual. He noticed something was up between Harry and I, but was too busy reading up on advanced Quidditch moves to comment on it. (He'd just found out that McGonagall had made him Captain). Cassandra was still dropping suggestive comments left and right, and constantly cozying up to Ron, but I was powerless to do anything about it. If I even mentioned to Ron my discomfort, he'd COMPLETELY blow up at me. Cassandra had become a rather touchy subject between us in the past few days. And worst of all, it was WAY too risky to meet up with Draco. And, to top it all off, Harry was STILL mad at me. Hmmphh.
Professor McGonagall must've noticed the look of unhappiness on my face, because she said uncharacterisitcally gently, "You know, Hermione, that we can discuss more things than Animaguses in this classroom. If there's anything- anything you wish to confide in me, I'm all ears. And, I would like to share with you that- excuse my lack of modesty- I'm rather good at giving advice."
"Oh, no. Nothing's wrong." I grinned weakly. "Honestly."
"It's not a very smart idea to refuse help when it's offered," my favorite teacher sighed, "but I will let it slip for just this one time. I know you have your pride, Hermione- you insist on figure things out on your own- but sometimes pride can get in the way of reasonable, logical thinking. You're not always alone in the battles you fight."
That thought followed me as I walked as slowly as possible to detention four hours later, not look forward to spending hours in the company of Cassandra, Draco, and Snape. Ha! Here was one battle I was going to be truly alone in- Draco had to pretend to still hate my slimy Mudblood guts, Snape DID hate my slimy Mudblood guts, and I don't even want to mention that arse of bimbo...
"I really don't feel too comorftable leaving you three alone." Snape cleared his throat.
"Oh, don't worry Professor, I'll keep Draco from violently shagging Hermione on the lab table," Cassandra cooed.
"Funny. The last time I checked, Miss Granger was dating Mr. Weasley and absolutely loathed Mr. Malfoy. I was referring to you, Miss Valet,and Mr. Malfoy. After the shennagins you pulled a few nights ago in a broom closet, I wouldn't be suprised if you and your companion have a hard time from restraining yourselves from copulating right here, in the dungeons, on one of MY lab tables instead of grading these first-year essays as I have assigned you."
I had bite my cheeks to keep from giggling. Even though Snape knew darn well that it had been ME, not Cass-Ass that night, he was pretending to the contrary and increasing my opinion of him by100 percent! Perhaps there was hope for that barmy old bat after all...
"All I ask that if you decide to participate in any sexual endeavors," Snape drawled, "Please keep the moaning to a minimum and do it right after I leave. I really don't fancy to be mentally scarred when I return in two hours. And do not allow Miss Granger to feel left out.I'm sure she would be MUCH obliged to join in and make it a lovely threesome, don't you think?"
Or, maybe not. That bast...
Smirking, he went off to some unknown location or another, as he had done the past 7 days that I'd had detention.I was starting to get the idea that perhaps Snape didn't appreciate my company...