1How Many Steps Closer?
Chapter 26. I believe this will be the last chapter in the story, but it will be a long one, providing enough closure for this story. I highly love and appreciate all of you for shouting out and giving such great feedback. I know a lot of you hate me for killing off Danny, and I hate myself for it and I also hate that this story is ending this way, but all good things must come to an end. It includes the song "One Step Closer" by U2, and my spin on how Aiden leaves.
Au revoir.
The funeral was held that next Monday. Dressed in black, the CSI team walked down the steps of the home and got into the limos that were waiting. Slowly, the procession drove through the streets of Staten Island to the cemetery.
Arielle looked out of the window. It was beautiful outside, but her heart was breaking again, painfully, relentlessly, no matter how many times she tried to patch it up. She still couldn't help thinking this was all her fault, that she had dragged everyone into this mess of pain and sadness and there was nothing she could do to fix it, without trying to get a time machine...
I'm round the corner from anything that's real
I'm across the road from hope
I'm under a bridge in a rip tide
That's taken anything I call my own
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing...
The limo was silent, and it was nearly unbearable. Nobody was looking at one another- and there were five people in the car. Stella was sitting next to her, and Arielle felt her take her hand gently. For the first time today, she looked at her, and saw the sad smile on Stella's face. That smile told her that everything would be okay,but still she wasn't sure. She tried to smile back, but it stuck on her lips.
The cars slowed down, and finally stopped in the cemetery. Arielle got out, and saw the open grave, the hole dug into the ground that would be refilled, covering Danny Messer from sight, but failing to cover up the hole dug viciously into her heart.
The ceremony was performed for the burial, and she was silent. Dropping a rose onto the casket, alongside his pictures, his baseball jersey from when he was nine, and his badge, she watched as everyone drifted away, heard people talking quietly, saying how good Danny was, how smart, how fiercely determined he was...
Stella turned and hugged her. "We're going to miss him," she said, and Arielle nodded.
"You have no idea," she replied, flinching at how she sounded. Her voice came out rusty and cracked from a long period of staying silent. The sound almost made her cry, but she regained composure, and tried to smile once again. "He's in a better place now, though. I bet right now he's telling God they need better law enforcement."
Stella smiled fleetingly. "I know you miss him. He's always going to be with you, you know."
I'm on an island at a busy intersection
I can't go forward, I can't turn back
Can't see the future
It's getting away from me
I just watch the tail lights glowing...
The next day was work. It was almost the same, except there was no Danny cracking jokes in the lab, no blue eyes staring at her from a test tube. Just work. Just monotony that Arielle could thankfully throw herself into and never look back. Mac came into the lab to see her. She was busy feverishly processing evidence.
"You're working hard,"he said.
"I know."
"Take a break, you've been working since seven."
"I can't, Mac. Work is work, and I need to figure this out."
"Trust me." Mac put his hand over hers to stop her. "You'll want to say goodbye to someone."
"I've already said my goodbyes. I'm tired of saying goodbye. I'm tired of having a reason to."Her voice cracked as she tried to pull away, but he held her.
"You haven't said goodbye to her."
Arielle looked up at him. "Her?"
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
To knowing, knowing...
Aiden was halfway out of the lab when Arielle caught her.
"You're leaving?" she asked.
Aiden nodded. "Looks like it."
"Why?"
She shook her head. "It's a long story, and I don't want you to be bored by it."
"Aiden. Why are you leaving?"Arielle asked again. Her dark eyes were pleading for an answer.
She sighed. "My own reasons. I can't be here. I can't deal with it anymore. Losing cases, losing friends-"
"It's Danny that's making you leave?"
Aiden paused, and closed her mouth. A nod was all Arielle needed, and got.
"Aiden, it's not your fault. It's... it's mine. I crashed the car. I made him get shot. It was my own stupidity, not you." Arielle was crying. "Aiden, please, don't leave."
Aiden smiled tiredly, then came over and embraced Arielle. Kissing her cheek, she said, "I have to. Nothing more left to love here. Not when you lose someone like Danny."
"But you love the job."
"I do. But sometimes you have to leave behind what you love when you find it can kill you." She let go of her, and said, "I'll keep in touch."
The door closing sealed off another CSI from the team, and now Arielle found herself utterly alone. She stared at the empty space where Aiden Burn once stood, and felt another crack in her heart.
I'm hanging out to dry with my old clothes
Finger still red with the prick of an old rose
Well the heart that hurts is a heart that beats
Can you hear the drummer slowing?
Arielle walked down the streets of Manhattan a week later, going over everything that had happened. Tanglewood was shut down for good, and Danny was promoted shortly after his funeral to a CSI:2 for his efforts. Arielle's stepfather had been picked up for another rape of a 16-year-old, and he was being put on trial this time. Mac wasn't letting her deal with the case though, because of her ties to him. Arielle also knew he didn't want her with all the pressure.
Eventually, new CSIs would be brought in, and Arielle would work with them. And she was now working with Flack on all of her cases. They were getting along great, but she knew there was no chance they could go back to what they were before. Strangely, she was glad. Flack made a great friend. Danny was lucky to know him as long as he did.
Still, there were things Arielle had wanted to say, and ask Danny that she couldn't now. It was hard, and day by day she was getting through it. The process didn't prove sightly, but she knew she would get through for him, and only for him. He would have wanted her to.
A scene flashed through her head, from when they first met. He was there, leaning onto the doorway of Mac's office with his smirk, cracking jokes at her expense. She eventually started laughing at one of them in particular, and their friendship was under way. It had come so far, and yet the time seemed so short now, now that he was gone. Even so, she knew he wasn't far behind, and through the autumn chill, she felt warmth around her, protecting her from something. She knew she'd be okay.
She laughed now at the joke, as old as it was. "God, Danny," she whispered. "How can I ever forget you?"
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
To knowing, to knowing, to knowing...