Chapter 3: Zelda's Castle
[Near the castle in Hyrule field we see the figure of Link walking towards the castle. Actually he's practically crawling towards the castle. But you get the picture].
Link: Need. . . . . sleep. (crawls up the castle gates).
Guard: Hello there Link. Here to see Zelda?
Link: (gasping) Please!
Guard: Alright. (pushes a button to open the gates). I think Princess Zelda is expecting you.
Link: Great. Wonderful. Maybe I can sleep in her bed.
Guard: (kicks Link) You little perv!!
Link: NO! I didn't mean that. I meant that maybe she can allow me to spend the night in a guest room.
Guard: Just get out of my sight before I spear you.
Link: EEK! (runs towards the castle).
[Ten minutes later Link is inside the castle talking to Zelda and telling her why he is there].
Zelda: I suppose I can supply you with a bed.
Link: Thank you Zelda. By the way. The guard told me that you were expecting me.
Zelda: (giggles) Of course. I have powers. I can see everything you are doing. And I saw you heading down here.
Link: How often do you spy on me?
Zelda: (turns red) Usually during shower time.
Link: WHAT?!
Zelda: Just kidding! Geez. Sometimes I check up on things in Hyrule to see if everything is in order. I checked on the forest and saw you heading to Hyrule field.
Link: I see. Well I'm off to bed.
Zelda: (frowns) Link. I noticed that the forest is on fire.
Link: Oh yea. Saria told me that she would take care of it.
Zelda: (smiles) Of course she will Link. Just like she did with your house.
Link: (turns pale) Can I go to sleep now?
Zelda: Alright Link. I will put you in Kaepora Gaebora's old room.
Link: (cringes) He used to live here?
Zelda: Yea. We finally got rid of him. Well goodnight.
Link: Goodnight.
[Link walks over to the bed and realizes that it isn't a bed at all. It's a giant nest].
Link: What the hell? Oh well. (climbs into the nest). Ah. Everything is silent. Perfect.
[Everything is silent for a few minutes when suddenly the sounds of somebody screaming].
Link: (groans) Oh no!
Zelda: (walks into Link's room angry) Hmph. Your friend Malon was just here. She was wondering why you are here.
Link: How nice. (rolls over)
Zelda: I told her that you are obviously here because you like me better then you do her.
Link: That's nice.
Zelda: But you know what the little brat said next. She says that you are just using me for my power!
Link: mmmm
Zelda: I told her that you would never do that! You are too sweet to do that to me. (snuggles up against Link).
Link: (begins to sweat) Zelda.
Zelda: I know how you feel about me Link. I know how much you love me. That's why you are here.
Link: I'm here for some sleep.
Zelda: I've been watching you non-stop everyday. I like what I see.
Link: I'm sure you do. (gulps)
Zelda: Of course. (winks).
Link: Can you do this to me later? After I gotten my sleep and after I've hit puberty.
Zelda: (glares at Link) FINE! (storms away).
Link: Oh goddesses. I can't believe she just did that. (lies awake for anther hour). I think I've been traumatized for life.
Sound FX: CRASH BANG! (sounds of plates breaking or hitting the wall).
[Obviously there is a fight going on between the king and queen right outside Link's door].
King: But dumpling! I can't go to the formal dance with you tonight.
Queen: YOU NEVER WANT TO DO ANYTHING WITH ME!!
King: But I'm going golfing tonight!
Queen: (throws a vase at the king) YOU ALWAYS GO GOLFING. YOU ARE A LOUSY KING.
King: You shouldn't say that!
Queen: REMEMBER GANONDORF'S INVASIONS SEVERAL YEARS AGO???? YOU JUST LET HIM TAKE OVER!
King: What could I do! He would've killed my doggy if I didn't let him invade.
Queen: YOU TREAT THAT LOUSY MUTT BETTER THEN ME!! I AM GOING TO GET BACK AT YOU HORRIBLY! (stomps angrily away).
King: Oh sweetheart! Come back! (follows the queen).
Link: (eyes wide) Uh oh! I better leave before something else happens. (gets out of the nest).
Zelda: (runs into the room) LINK! MY MOTHER JUST SET GANONDORF FREE!!!
Link: (sobs) Why me?
Zelda: You have to stop him!!
Link: Goodbye Zelda. I'm off to Malon's.
Zelda: But! MALON'S??!! You need to stop Ganondorf PLUS you promised your loyalty to me.
Link: Stop him yourself. I'm leaving. (heads for LonLon Ranch).
[Near the castle in Hyrule field we see the figure of Link walking towards the castle. Actually he's practically crawling towards the castle. But you get the picture].
Link: Need. . . . . sleep. (crawls up the castle gates).
Guard: Hello there Link. Here to see Zelda?
Link: (gasping) Please!
Guard: Alright. (pushes a button to open the gates). I think Princess Zelda is expecting you.
Link: Great. Wonderful. Maybe I can sleep in her bed.
Guard: (kicks Link) You little perv!!
Link: NO! I didn't mean that. I meant that maybe she can allow me to spend the night in a guest room.
Guard: Just get out of my sight before I spear you.
Link: EEK! (runs towards the castle).
[Ten minutes later Link is inside the castle talking to Zelda and telling her why he is there].
Zelda: I suppose I can supply you with a bed.
Link: Thank you Zelda. By the way. The guard told me that you were expecting me.
Zelda: (giggles) Of course. I have powers. I can see everything you are doing. And I saw you heading down here.
Link: How often do you spy on me?
Zelda: (turns red) Usually during shower time.
Link: WHAT?!
Zelda: Just kidding! Geez. Sometimes I check up on things in Hyrule to see if everything is in order. I checked on the forest and saw you heading to Hyrule field.
Link: I see. Well I'm off to bed.
Zelda: (frowns) Link. I noticed that the forest is on fire.
Link: Oh yea. Saria told me that she would take care of it.
Zelda: (smiles) Of course she will Link. Just like she did with your house.
Link: (turns pale) Can I go to sleep now?
Zelda: Alright Link. I will put you in Kaepora Gaebora's old room.
Link: (cringes) He used to live here?
Zelda: Yea. We finally got rid of him. Well goodnight.
Link: Goodnight.
[Link walks over to the bed and realizes that it isn't a bed at all. It's a giant nest].
Link: What the hell? Oh well. (climbs into the nest). Ah. Everything is silent. Perfect.
[Everything is silent for a few minutes when suddenly the sounds of somebody screaming].
Link: (groans) Oh no!
Zelda: (walks into Link's room angry) Hmph. Your friend Malon was just here. She was wondering why you are here.
Link: How nice. (rolls over)
Zelda: I told her that you are obviously here because you like me better then you do her.
Link: That's nice.
Zelda: But you know what the little brat said next. She says that you are just using me for my power!
Link: mmmm
Zelda: I told her that you would never do that! You are too sweet to do that to me. (snuggles up against Link).
Link: (begins to sweat) Zelda.
Zelda: I know how you feel about me Link. I know how much you love me. That's why you are here.
Link: I'm here for some sleep.
Zelda: I've been watching you non-stop everyday. I like what I see.
Link: I'm sure you do. (gulps)
Zelda: Of course. (winks).
Link: Can you do this to me later? After I gotten my sleep and after I've hit puberty.
Zelda: (glares at Link) FINE! (storms away).
Link: Oh goddesses. I can't believe she just did that. (lies awake for anther hour). I think I've been traumatized for life.
Sound FX: CRASH BANG! (sounds of plates breaking or hitting the wall).
[Obviously there is a fight going on between the king and queen right outside Link's door].
King: But dumpling! I can't go to the formal dance with you tonight.
Queen: YOU NEVER WANT TO DO ANYTHING WITH ME!!
King: But I'm going golfing tonight!
Queen: (throws a vase at the king) YOU ALWAYS GO GOLFING. YOU ARE A LOUSY KING.
King: You shouldn't say that!
Queen: REMEMBER GANONDORF'S INVASIONS SEVERAL YEARS AGO???? YOU JUST LET HIM TAKE OVER!
King: What could I do! He would've killed my doggy if I didn't let him invade.
Queen: YOU TREAT THAT LOUSY MUTT BETTER THEN ME!! I AM GOING TO GET BACK AT YOU HORRIBLY! (stomps angrily away).
King: Oh sweetheart! Come back! (follows the queen).
Link: (eyes wide) Uh oh! I better leave before something else happens. (gets out of the nest).
Zelda: (runs into the room) LINK! MY MOTHER JUST SET GANONDORF FREE!!!
Link: (sobs) Why me?
Zelda: You have to stop him!!
Link: Goodbye Zelda. I'm off to Malon's.
Zelda: But! MALON'S??!! You need to stop Ganondorf PLUS you promised your loyalty to me.
Link: Stop him yourself. I'm leaving. (heads for LonLon Ranch).