Chapter Ten

What Could Have Been

Without a moments hesitation Jordan reached out and smacked Woody right across the face with a resounding crack.

His light Irish skin instantly began to redden and the color almost matched the furious red his ears had turned.

Without more than a flinch, Woody sighed and opened his eyes, looking down into hers angrily. "Why Jordan? It's a simple question…what made me so god damned special that I wasn't good enough to be with? Do you ever think of that? Do you ever wonder what could have been?" he asked as his voice raised in anger. "Do you!" He almost yelled, gripping her arm at her elbow. She didn't pull away and Woody put his face closer to Jordan's.

The corners of Jordan's lips tugged down shakily, a tell tale sign that she was about to cry. Jordan just continued to stare at him and he could see the tears returning to her eyes again.

"…Because I do…almost every damn day.." Woody admitted in a softer voice and Jordan's only answer was to lift her head and look up into his eyes with a sniffle.

Woody's face softened minutely and he smiled sadly brushing another pair of tears off of her cheeks and froze waiting for her to pull back from his touch. When she didn't, he stepped forward, closer into her personal space, leaned in and pressed a hard, stolen kiss to her lips which she surprisingly, hungrily, desperately, returned.

Woody pulled back and opened his mouth to say something but Jordan stopped him with her arms around his neck and her long, elegant, bare legs wrapped around his waist.

Without a word Woody took two long strides to the bed, dropping Jordan onto the top sheet and pulled back only to push the pizza delivery coat off. He pressed her hard into the mattress and made a casual, mental note that the springs of this bed were as squeaky as the one's that had just recently ceased next door.

With a grunt that told Jordan he was over dressed, Woody pulled his body back from hers once more -- long enough to strip off his shirt and push Jordan's camisole top up enough to bring his lips down and tug at her deep, pink nipples with his teeth.

When she moaned and arched into him, Woody took the opportunity to push the shirt over her head and onto the pillow above her as she reached down between them to unbutton his jeans.

Not wanting to let the other feel like they were being given something, they pushed their hands away from trying to remove the other's clothing. Woody made short order of pushing off his jeans as Jordan lifted her hips and yanked the white panties down.

No matter what either of them pretended this was about, they couldn't fight the nearly identical moans that forced their way to the surface at the first contact of warm, naked skin to warm, naked skin. Without realizing it Woody slipped a hand under her, settling it at the small of her back in a possessive gesture that went over both of their heads as they writhed against each other in time with the suck and slurp of deep, passionate kisses.

There were no words of appreciation or professions of love. They both were well beyond conviction that it was too late for that. But as they accustomed to a steady back and forth motion of rubbing against one another, Jordan hitched a breath and whispered one word to him.

"Now…"

And with a twitch of his hips, Woody was happy to oblige.

He was quick at first, true to his personality and their history. He bombarded her, ever persistent in his advances only to have her dance her fingertips over his hips lightly, calming him, slowing him down, as if to say 'back up a little.'

Woody nodded with a grunt beside her ear and slowed only to angle his hips, taking a slightly different approach to her body and steadily building his pace.

The shock of the move caught Jordan off guard and she reluctantly began to move with him, her hands holding his hips. Where before she had held his hips to keep him at bay she was suddenly using them to hold him firmly inside of her, adjusting to the cadence he seemed to be moving to.

When he couldn't take much more, Woody began to move feverishly, his brow furrowing and his ears and cheeks flushing red to match the mark Jordan's hand had left on the side of his face. A light sheen of sweat broke out over his whole body and he didn't realize the same was happening to Jordan until a bead of sweat smeared from his chest to hers and joined with the light peppering of moisture already on her skin.

He traced his hands brusquely over the curves of her body, as if trying to commit every inch of her to memory – in case a night like this one never came again for the two of them.

Before he could process the shiny flush spreading over her cheeks in the neon glow from the signs outside of the curtains, Jordan flipped Woody over and slid down fully onto him, making him cry out in a moment of unbridled emotion for this woman who had eluded his intimacy for so long. He silently hoped she wasn't still eluding him.

Jordan slowed a moment and studied his face in the coarse light. Even though her body had a mind of its own and was humming close to the edge, she tried to ignore the ache in her heart and focus on the feel of him moving underneath her. Being with him, now, she had nothing to lose...she had already lost it all. His grip on her hips was strong and desperate. She could see the question in his eyes. She cut it off with her lips trying to convince herself all this was just a little left over passion that had built up, boiled over, and was triggered by a set of event that took place long before she ever met him. Her anger with the only thing that she had to hold on to, it's what kept her going...and Woody was there … handy.

Each buried deep in their own inner battles, both physical and mental,they remained speechless except for an occasional loud moan or soft sigh as Jordan rode over him, her own hands running over his chest and arms, stopping momentarily to trace the abdominal scar that had put the kill shot in what they could have been.

When he could feel his control slipping, Woody rolled her over again with a growl and buried himself deeply inside of her. Not able to stand the angry, intense silence anymore Woody gasped and groaned one word.

"Jorrrrrrrrdaaaan…."

He collapsed on top of her and they lay there joined, heaving for breath but still not speaking.

When Woody finally moved off of her and lay on his side he reached out for Jordan and was surprised when she sat up pulling the scratchy, paper-thin sheets around herself.

"Jord.." he started but she cut him off.

"I think you should go..I…I think this was a mistake.." she said softly, not turning to look at him.

Of all the things Woody imagined would come of this night, those words leaving Jordan's mouth were not anything close to what he had envisioned her saying.

He sat up and looked at her with shock in his eyes. "What!" he asked exasperated and ran a hand through his hair angrily.

Jordan felt the anger in his words and the pain went straight to her heart. But she couldn't ever mend the ties that had been cut between her and Woody. She thought of her father and all of his lies, of Eddie and how he'd mislead her in their relationship; lied to her. And Woody; the one man she'd come close to considering as someone she might be able to spend her life with and he'd pushed her away too.

"…You knew what this was when you came in here tonight, Woody." She said quietly but sternly, as if he should have known what she meant.

"What are you…are you trying to tell me that what…what…what just happened meant nothing!" He yelled, tuning on his knees towards her.

"No…yes…I don't know Woody, just please…I can't do this anymore, I can't keep…keep being… hurt by the people I love. The keeping things from me..the lies.." she started and Woody punched the mattress as he bolted from the bed unabashedly and pulled his clothes from the floor.

"The LIES! The LIES, Jordan?" he yelled and felt his voice ready to crack with the emotion of watching the woman he loved pretending she didn't love him back. He yanked on his jeans and pulled on his shoes.

As he grabbed the shirt he'd been wearing he pointed it at her with one hand. "Maybe you should think about who's telling these fucking LIES, Jordan." He bit through clenched teeth and grabbed his jacket as he stared her down once more and turned, going out the door and slamming it behind him.

Jordan sat there for a long time, the sheets clutched in white knuckles. She watched the headlights of the car Woody had driven as they flashed bright with the start of the engine and darted away in an angry dash.

She couldn't say she blamed him, though. She had wanted to run two years ago when he kicked her out of his hospital room. She'd been turned down by the one person she thought she could trust most in life and it hurt. Only this time she was the one lying in bed, telling him he should leave.

She wiped her eyes and covered her face when the realization hit her. This was payback. She didn't love Woody any less than she did two years ago, she didn't think what they had just done was a mistake and she certainly wouldn't take it back if she could.

But with the emotional stability of a young girl, Jordan had done something she feared she might not ever be able to take back. She had finally opened herself up to the intimacy of the man she loved and then the school-ager deep inside of her had pushed him away because 'he did it first'.

"…Stupid.." she said aloud between sniffles and finally climbed out of bed, pulled her clothes on and went to the wooden chair by the little table under the window. She couldn't sleep on the bed that still held the familiar scent of Woody and the new scent of them.

"Hoyt," Eddie called into Woody's open office door. "Come on, we've got a grand jury trial to go to and we still have to pick Jordan up from the safe house on the way," he said and Woody looked at Roz, sitting across from him and back to Winslow.

"What? Why? Can't you just go get her and I'll meet you there?" he asked and Winslow shook his head.

"I ran over a nail in front of those condos they're building on Commonwealth. People can afford to charge two grand a month rent, but a public servant busts a tire in front of their work site and he's on his own.." he grumbled with a wave of his hand. "Come on Detective, a trial ain't a trial without the star witness," he said raising his eyebrows.

"Y…yeah, okay.." he said standing and rubbing his sweaty palms down his pant legs as Winslow pulled his head back and disappeared into the hallway.

Roz sat still across from Woody, only moving her chair to swivel it whichever direction in the room he moved as he gathered his coat, his case file, fixed his hair and tie. It wasn't long before Woody felt eyes on him and glanced over to see his partner's grinch-like smile over the top of her long manicured fingers as she watched him.

"What?" Woody asked curtly, clearing his throat and fixing his tie again.

"I know that look…" Roz stated simply and continued her scrutiny for a long moment before she sat up straight, the grinch smile growing ever wider. "You got LAID last night…you lucky dog. You've gotten over the night nurse then?" she asked, patting him on the back.

Woody just shot her a look and sighed.

"Uh oh.." Roz said taking his cheeks and making him look at her. "Unfortunately I know that look too…that was the sigh of a man deep in regret.." she said and Woody tried to avoid her gaze.

"You didn't hit the red light district did ya, Woods?" she asked and Woody pushed her hands away.

"No for Christ's sake…I…I didn't.." he started and rubbed the back of his head.

"Hoyt!" Eddie yelled down the hallway and Woody's nervous hands swiped over his pant legs again.

Roz suddenly realized his reluctance to leave. They were going to pick up Jordan and her partner seemed less than eager to get there.

"Oh Woodrow…you didn't … ." Roz sighed and smacked his cheeks lightly. Woody pushed her hands away again and raised his own.

"Not…not now Roz, just…not now," he said softly and hurried out the door as Winslow yelled for him once more.

Framus watched Woody scamper down the hallway after Winslow before shutting the door. "Lord and in that flea bag motel too…" she said and clucked her tongue. "I thought I raised him better than that," she sighed, with a shake of her head and went back to the case she was looking at.

"So what's with you?" Eddie asked casually as they drove towards the motel where Jordan was waiting.

"Nothing, I'm just…." Woody sighed and looked out the window trying to find a way to answer truthfully. "I'm ready for all of this to be over," he said with a decided nod.

Eddie watched him a moment. "Sure," he said with a short nod as they pulled into the parking lot of the motel. Eddie immediately turned off the car after a glance around to make sure they hadn't been followed.

He stopped when he noticed Woody hadn't followed him. "Hey, Hoyt," he said leaning back down to his window and looking across to the passenger seat. "You keeping the seat warm? Let's go," he said waving a hand.

"Yeah..sorry," Woody answered shortly and climbed out himself. He looked up at the door to Jordan's room. The same door he had slammed behind him not long ago. He didn't know what would happen when he went back through it again but he selfishly hoped that Winslow being there would make it a little easier to go back in.

Winslow knocked the sequence Jordan was told to listen for before answering the door and it opened slowly. She seemed relieved to see that it was Eddie as she opened the door but the relief quickly faded when she saw Woody not far behind.

"Can I go now?" she asked meekly, not at all like the Jordan they were used to. Woody watched her move around the little room trying to straighten up. She hadn't looked at him directly since they walked in the door.

When Woody didn't answer, Eddie responded. "Yes, the trial starts at two," he said nodding and Jordan just nodded back and quietly began to pack her things. When she was finished she shouldered her bags and Winslow looked at Woody expectantly.

"Here," Woody said curtly and took the bags from her, heading out to the car.

"Gee, now I know why the ladies are always hanging around you, gentleman of the year.." Winslow mumbled putting a hand on Jordan's back as they headed out to the car behind Woody and he kept a lookout for anyone around them.

After a silent ride to the station, Winslow got out and tossed Woody the keys. "We've got two hours until the trial starts. Take her home, let her get a descent shower and some food and be downtown by two, got it?" he asked and Woody looked at him wide-eyed.

"B…but.." Woody started and Jordan just rolled her eyes and tried to imagine a scenario that could make this day any worse than it was shaping up to be.

"No but's detective, that's an order," Winslow said pointing at Woody before he walked into the station.

Roz was returning from the soda machine when Eddie arrived in the station. "Hey, where's Doc Witness? Got her in a matchbox in your back pocket there, Eddie?" she asked and Winslow flipped through the case file in his hand as he passed her.

"No..no she's gone home for a much deserved shower and a hot meal," he nodded heading for Woody and Roz's office.

"Oh yeah? Who's on protection?" Roz asked sipping her soda.

"Uh, Hoyt, Hoyt's with her." Eddie said casually and looked up as Roz spit out some of her soda with a cough. "What? Why? What's with you?" Eddie asked setting the file down.

"…Wooo boy…this should be interesting," Framus answered with a shake of her head.

Across town Woody was carrying Jordan's bags up to her apartment.

"You know I could do that myself," Jordan offered and Woody glared over his shoulder.

"I was just saying.." Jordan started again as they climbed off of the elevator.

"Yes," Woody finally spit out as they got to her door. "I'm perfectly well aware that you can do things yourself, Jordan," he said sarcastically as she opened the door and walked into the dark apartment.

"Hang on," Woody said putting a surprisingly gentle hand on her shoulder and moving her aside as he flipped on the light, dropping her bags as he moved around the room, checking her bedroom, the bathroom, the windows.

"You don't have to do that, Woody. I know you could really care less what happens to me now," Jordan said grabbing her bag.