Chapter Three – Emperor Kuzco

Squall looked the llama up and down. "You're the emperor?"

"Yup."

"You?"

"You know it baby!"

"Are you sure?"

The llama made a face. "Yeah. Do I have to spell it out for you a thousand times? Or are you peasant folk really that stupid?"

Squall blinked at the llama. "I'm not a peasant." He said. "And what, is your entire kingdom made up of llamas or something?"

"Llamas?" The emperor said, now a little confused. "You peasants are crazy."

"But you're a llama."

"I'm as human as they get." The llama said, and Squall could only stare at it in disbelief. Was this guy serious?

"Ever wonder why you walk on all fours and had fur AND looked like a llama."

The llama stood on his two hind legs, now towering over Squall because of its long neck. "Now listen here, peasant, I don't go around saying you all look, act and smell like pigs but you –"

He tripped over suddenly, unable to keep his balance. He rolled into Squall, who stopped him in his tracks and the llama looked up at him in confusion. "That's funny. I had great balance before – AAHHH!"

He'd looked down at his legs, and found that they belonged to a llama. He lifted his arms (or what should have been his arms) and found that they were llama's legs too. He grabbed Squall suddenly (or tried to, grabbing was a hard thing to do when you had hooves) and looked into his gunblade, seeing a llama's face staring back at him.

"What kind of trickery is this!" He bellowed, and then burst into tears. "My beautiful body is gone! Oh, what a world!"

Squall stared at the llama, a puzzled look on his face. The llama let out a loud sob and suddenly used his jacket to blow his nose. "Get off me!" Squall said, pushing the llama away. The animal turned back to him, tears brimming in its large eyes.

"I understand peasant! Not even I would want to look at myself now!"

This was getting way too melodramatic for Squall now. "Did you only just notice?"

"Apparently." The llama replied, sniffing loudly. Squall couldn't help but feel a little sick at that sound. "Wait a minute! Yzma!" He cried suddenly, and the tears had magically disappeared. "Yzma's got tons of potions and junk! She can change me back! Come peasant! I'll need an escort back to the castle."

Squall stared at the llama. "I've got to find my friend. I need to get to that village over there and –"

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." The llama said. "I, Emperor Kuzco, have given you an order! Now, you'll escort me back to the castle, Yzma'll change me back, and then we'll find your little friend!"

"I was just there. No one's in town anymore."

"Nonsense. Yzma'd be in the castle somewhere. Now come on peasant, we need to get moving. We don't know how long it'll be until the effects are permanent!" The llama began to push Squall, and he stared down at it.

"I really don't have the time –"

"There's no time for arguing! Come on, hurry it up!"

Squall sighed in defeat. This llama was persistent. And annoying. He knew he wasn't going to find Yuffie anytime soon.

They had barely taken a few steps before the llama started speaking again. "So what's your name peasant?"

"Leon. And I told you before, I'm not a peasant."

The llama turned back to him, seeming to sneer. "Anyone who's not the emperor here I consider a peasant. And are you the emperor here, Lion? I don't think so. There's only one emperor and that's me, baby."

"You're a llama." Squall said flatly. "And it's Leon." Kuzco laughed at him.

"Just a minor technicality. Nothing that Yzma can't fix."

"Who's this Yzma anyway?" Squall asked, and the llama grinned.

"This real old bat who worked as my advisor up until yesterday. I think she's like a thousand years old or something. A bit senile; thinks she can rule the empire better than me, yadda yadda. She's good with potions though. And that right hand man of hers. Krink? Krank? I can't remember, but he can make a heck of a good spinach puff..."

"Uhh … right." Squall said, suddenly wishing he hadn't asked. Kuzco continued to talk about how he was a better ruler than Yzma, and told Squall of all the great things he'd done for his people. Or rather, all the great things he'd done for himself. "…spoilt brat." Squall muttered, but Kuzco's large ears had heard him.

"What was that?" He asked, stopping to look back at him.

"Nothing." Squall replied, and Kuzco stared at him, then dismissed it.

"So anyway, I'm gonna build this huge theme park on top of that mountain and –"

A Heartless suddenly emerged from the ground, and Kuzco let out a high pitched yell. It dove toward him, just as Squall pulled out his gunblade and slashed it down. Another emerged from the ground and he took it out with ease, and soon a whole platoon of Heartless emerged. Squall easily sliced through them, but the emperor cried out and he turned to find them surrounding him. Squall swerved his blade and cut them down, just as one jumped on him from behind. He turned, trying to grab it and pull it off but it would move out of his way. There was a sudden piercing sensation in his back and he cried out, feeling something grab at his heart…

Squall fell backwards, his heart suddenly released. Something had knocked the Heartless off and he turned to see Kuzco wrestling with it. Though he was breathing hard, he managed to stand up and moved over to the llama and the Heartless. Instinctively he moved his blade, cutting the shadow in half, killing it before it could do anymore harm. There was a sharp pain in his chest, and Squall was finding it hard to breathe. No more Heartless attacked them. Kuzco was jumping around excitedly, as if looking for more Heartless to attack. "Who's the man! Come out and fight me you stupid shadows!" And he started babbling mindlessly again.

Of course, Squall wasn't listening to him. His mind was racing. He'd nearly lost his heart. And it was all because of Yuffie! If she hadn't gone off in that stupid ship to go on some stupid adventure, they'd all be safe! He wouldn't be going around with this mindless excuse of an emperor if it weren't for her, and he wouldn't have almost died!

"I'm gonna kill her when I find her." He muttered through grit teeth, and Kuzco shook his head at him.

"Oh no, no, no, no. Yzma has to change me back first before you kill her. But she's really old. Maybe you should just wait for her time to come…?"

"You stupid llama. I don't care whether you change back or not. We almost died."

"Died? We kicked Heartless butt! I'm the emperor! I can do anything I want! And is that any way for you to talk to your emperor? I don't think so Mr. Lino…"

Squall wanted to bring his gunblade down on the llama's head.

He got to his feet and kept on walking, keeping his gunblade in hand just in case more Heartless appeared. He walked steadily up a hill, hearing Kuzco complain about something behind him. As he reached the top, he saw a small house on the other side, with smoke coming from the chimney. He sighed with relief, finally glad to find some sort of civilisation. He only hoped that it wasn't filled with llamas.

As they approached the house, he noticed that it wasn't just any old house. It was a small restaurant. He heard Kuzco say how hungry he was, but as they reached the door, they found a small sign. It had a picture of a llama in a circle, and it'd been crossed out.

"What's this? They won't let the emperor into his own restaurant? See, I own everything the peasants own, so I should be allowed to go in here and –"

"Let me check it out first." Squall interrupted, and Kuzco glared at him.

"But I'm hungry now."

"That's just too bad, isn't it? Llamas aren't allowed in here and I don't want to cause any commotion. I'll be two minutes, tops."

"Would you get me a side of fries while you're in there at least?"

Squall rolled his eyes and entered the doors. There were few people in here, and he noticed the girl and the Heartless look-alike sitting at a nearby table. Dagger looked up and met his gaze, but she was quickly interested in her menu again. The young boy, Vivi, instantly turned around to look at him, and Dagger snapped at him so he turned back. Squall didn't have any time for them. As he approached the counter a woman with huge eyelashes looked up at him, grinning.

"Take a seat hon, won't be a moment."

"Actually I was just wondering if you'd seen –"

"Uh-uh-uh. Sit first, talk later."

"But I just."

"Sit!"

Squall reluctantly took a seat at the nearest table, which just happened to be behind Dagger and Vivi. The boy looked up at him curiously, but his eyes suddenly snapped down. Squall busied himself in his own menu just as the woman who'd ordered him to sit approached him.

"Ok, what'll it be?"

"I was just wondering if you'd seen my friend. She's got short brown hair, was wearing a yellow scarf and carried a shuriken around."

"Sorry, hon. No one's been here. Now what would you like to eat?"

"I just wanted to ask –"

"Chef's special, coming right up." She said, then walked swiftly away. Squall stared after her, wondering why anyone would want to come and eat here. He thought it would probably just be best if he got up to leave when a voice said to him.

"Not having much luck, eh?"

"I see you haven't found your friend either, Dagger." Squall replied blankly, staring at the girl in front of him. She hadn't even turned to look at him, but he knew it'd been her.

"You know it's amazing what people can do when they work together." She said, and Squall rolled his eyes.

"I still don't need any help."

"Suit yourself then. Come on Vivi." She stood, and Vivi tried to follow her when a large man in black armour that was lined with gold and purple came up to them.

"What are you doing outside the castle?" He asked, putting his hand on Vivi's shoulder.

Vivi started to shake uncontrollably, and he stammered a few words that no one could understand, just as an old skinny woman approached the man. "Kronk! What are you doing? We have to find that stupid llama and have the Heartless take his heart before it's too late."

"But Yzma, this Heartless has left the castle. Does this mean we should feed them? I make a great spinach puff…"

"Kronk! We don't have the time! Just grab him and bring him with us!"

The large man obeyed, grabbing Vivi and lifting him with ease, just as Dagger stood furiously. "What do you think you're doing with him? Put him down!"

"Little girl, this is not a toy. Unless you want your heart ripped out…"

"He's not one of them!" She said, pulling out a dagger. "You put him down now!"

"Ahahahahaha!" The old woman laughed, "You think you can take me on little girl? I am much stronger than you!"

Squall let out a chuckle, noticing that her arms were nothing more than twigs. She would probably struggle to lift one brick. She turned to glare at him, asking him what was so funny. Squall stood slowly, drawing his gunblade as he did and he looked the woman up and down. "Nothing important. But I think you should put the boy down now."

"Ohohoho! So we do have a little competition then! All right, if you want it that badly…" Her eyes suddenly turned dark, and a black aura started to emanate around her. Her shadow seemed to grow beneath her, and suddenly two human-sized Heartless emerged, wearing armour that resembled the large man's, Kronk. "I think our emperor is waiting for us outside. Take these pests out, now!"

Squall grit his teeth, gunblade in hand. "Kuzco! Get out of here!" He called, just as one of the Heartless jumped at him, and he was forced to swing his blade at it. It ricocheted of its armour, and the Heartless pulled its own sword out of nowhere, and lunged at Squall. It was moving so quickly that he barely had time to keep up, and parrying the blows was becoming harder. He noticed Dagger fighting the other Heartless beside him, but she was just as quick as it, having no trouble at all in keeping up. Squall suddenly wished his gunblade weren't so big.

He fought the Heartless off, managing to hit it only once before it knocked the blade from his hands, and was ready to stab him with its own. Squall blocked the blow with his arms, feeling the blade penetrate his skin, and white hot pain coursed through them. He cursed silently as the Heartless raised the sword above his head, ready to strike him down when it stopped. A blade was sticking into its head, and it suddenly disappeared. It had been defeated.

The blade dropped to the ground, and Dagger quickly picked it up, looking up at Squall. "Sure you don't need any help?" She asked, and he shook his head.

"We don't have time for this right now." He said, picking up his gunblade and racing for the exit. Yzma and Kronk had disappeared, and so had Vivi and Kuzco.

"Great." Squall muttered, as Dagger came up beside him.

"They'll be at the castle." She said, though she didn't really have to.

"All right, let's get going then." Squall said, and Dagger looked up at him, relieved. "But after we save them, we're through. No more of this teamwork stuff, okay?"

She cast a dark glare at him, but said nothing more.

Author's note: Ok, this one's a bit longer than the others. Just wanted to say thanks for the reviews, and I haven't misspelt Leon's name anywhere. Kuzco is just being annoying by pretending he can't get it right.

Koshou: maybe a little. ) I don't want to say the pairings until I get up to them though. Sorry! Guess you'll just have to read to find out!

heartsoblivion: yup! You guessed it! It's one of my favourite Disney movies ever!