A/N HEY LISTEN UP! Even if you never read Author's Notes, you may want to read the first paragraph of this one. I made a mistake, but I thought of the perfect way to fix that mistake! So the question is… "What is Snape onto now?" See, I created a perfect little side plot to build on, only trouble is that I was too busy thinking about the matter at hand that I didn't figure out what the result would be, and now I can't think of one. I'm positive that that was a run on. So my challenge to you is this: Why is Snape assigning essays about the uses of potions in theatre? Remember that this dosen't have to be Snape's idea, but he could have certainly turned it into something evil from someone else's good idea. The only requirement in this contest is that it has to make sense. Snape didn't assign that essay so that he could accuse all his students of lying about their identity. It just dosen't fit. Just include your ideas in your review, anonymous ideas welcome. If I get more than one idea I promise to use one of them. Don't worry if the next chapter is already out, the idea will be used in Ch. 6. There's no prize, I'm sorry, I'm broke.

I know that this is an insanely long author's note, so I'm try and keep this part short. There will be NO spoilers from HBP in this fic. There might be a few inside jokes for the careful reader (check the first paragraph), but I read the book, and as of now Project Wired exists in a Harry Potter alternate reality. That's what I get for not finishing in time. I love you all, and I love making you laugh. Sorry it's been so long, I've been kinda busy. Enjoy the story. P.S. I have to explain this chapter's title sometime, but my author's note is too long as it is, so I'll try next time.

Chapter 24: The Great Depression

Hermione woke up even earlier than the day before. She figured that 4 am was a good time. No one in their right mind would be up at that time, and Filch would most likely be asleep. Hopefully Mrs. Noris sleept with her master. Getting up was not difficult, Hermione had learned to live with little sleep during her third year. As Hermione was tip-toeing out of the girls dormitory, she slipped on a large chained necklace and fell. She managed to suppress a scream, but the necklace made a racket. Lavender turned over in the bed beside Hermione. Hermione was suddenly VERY thankful that her roommates were heavy sleepers.

The common room was deserted when she arrived. Hermione went to the spot where she knew the papers were hidden. However, when she got there, there was nothing there. She panicked on the spot, Someone found them! Just as she was about to really freak out, though, she noticed a spot of color behind the couch next to her. Rushing to the spot, she realized that she was either really tired now, or had been last night.

Letting out a sigh of relief, she took Harry's cape off the papers and measured them with her eye. It looks like they're all there, but she had been sure that she had completely covered them. I was sure they were behind that couch too. She knew that it did her no good to fret, so she got to work. The spell she had picked out to distribute them had some serious flaws, but it was the most effective. The worst part was that it would put these stories into the bedrooms of teachers and staff. But it would make sure that they were distributed evenly. Which was the point of the spell in itself. The spell would distribute the stories at regular intervals throughout EVERY floor of the building she was in. That also meant that some would be put through walls. But they would be everywhere and it was better than levitating each individual paper to it's individual place in the school.

She wanted to go back to bed before she was too awake to get back to sleep, so she said the spell quickly and every paper disappeared but one. On her way back to the dormitory, she encountered three more papers. One in the common room, one on the stairs, and one her dormitory. The latest was actually pinned underneath Parvati's bedfoot.

Seeing the paper so obviously placed, she realized that she had one step left to cover her tracks. She quickly muttered lumos and nox in quick succession. A small beam of light stretched across her bed for a second before disappearing. Once in bed she snuggled up and fell asleep very quickly. Her last thought was, Hope Filch doesn't get too mad.

Hermione woke up to fervent whispers. However, as soon as she sat up, they stopped. When Hermione looked over towards her roommates' beds, she saw Parvati and Lavender. Parvati was holding something behind her back and looking slightly guilty. Hermione knew what it was and decided that the matter wasn't worth her time. She got out of bed and went to take a shower.

When Hermione returned, Lavender and Parvati were gone. Hermione lingered in her dormitory a little longer than usual. Part of her couldn't wait to see what was going on downstairs, the other part was dreading it. After taking a few deep breaths, she plucked up her courage and went downstairs, the sight that met her was a suprising one.

The common room was deserted. The almost always loud Gryffindor common room was silent but for a fire crackling in the fireplace. As she walked through the deserted common room, she noticed a lone piece of paper, discarded by the masses, and slightly crumpled. She picked it up and noticed that it wasn't the Romance fic that she had selected.

What followed was a story about the son of Draco and Pansy Malfoy. Severus Malfoy was a sensitive boy who didn't understand his parents' violent ways. He loved everyone that he met and forgave easily. He never understood why his parents wouldn't look at him, after he had been placed in Hufflepuff. He didn't understand why they thought that he was a failure, did he not have the best marks in his year? Nonetheless, he loved them as if they loved him back. When his parents were mysteriously killed during his 3rd year, he carried on not their legacy, but his own message of understanding and peace.

When Hermione finished the story, she snorted. Whoever had picked this one out was a genius. She was only sorry that she hadn't been there to see Malfoy's face. If that didn't get him to at least destroy the computer, she didn't know what would. With a smile on her face, Hermione Granger went down to a memorable breakfast.

Hermione was thankful that she entered the Great Hall unnoticed. She sat down in-between Ron and Harry and immediately felt guilty. She had forgotten what kind of effect this would have on Harry. Oh well, she thought, what's done is done. "So what's up with them?" she asked Ron, referring to the increased activity in the Great Hall. Harry didn't look very sociable this morning. Now that she saw Ron's face, he looked pretty angry himself.

"Some git published a couple of those fanfics," he forced out.

She still didn't understand his anger. "Ok, so what's wrong with you?" she asked, bewildered.

He shoved a piece of paper into her hand. When she looked down she knew what it was, and was still a little surprised that Ron was angry. She read a little for authenticity, and shot her pumpkin juice across the table at the right spot. Ron grabbed the sheaf out of her hand and smashed it into a ball.

"Who would do that? Who would write that?" Hermione wasn't acting anymore, she had wondered about the second question a while ago.

"Dunno," Ron took a swig of his pumpkin juice. "I almost thought that it wasn't too bad, they're all about Malfoy, you know. But then I saw that," he gestured toward the ball of paper. "Whoever's got the grudge against Malfoy sure didn't think 'bout the rest of us,"

Hermione was floored. Literally. Neville slipped on the ball of paper. He grabbed the only thing he could on his way down, the back of Hermione's robes. With a short scream Hermione went down, right on top of Neville.

"Sorry Hermione, slipped… on something…"Neville stammered out.

"It's fine Neville," she said brushing herself off. Neville left, stammering apologies. Hermione's fall seemed to go unnoticed among the hustle and bustle that, ironically, she had created. When she got up, she scanned the Great Hall.

The scene was strange. Instead of bits of parchment, Hogwarts students were shouting about pieces of computer paper that they were waving around. Even the Slytherins were getting into the act, in their own special way of course.

One large seventh year plucked a sheaf from a first year Hufflepuff's hands. Another Slytherin made a paper airplane that landed in the Gryfindor's pile of toast. Draco Malfoy was eating sulkily. Crabbe and Goyle ate beside him and looked like they wanted to join the fun. The withering looks that Draco aimed at the other Slytherins were enough to stop them.

Hermione observed this with amusement. It seemed that at the moment Malfoy didn't have a witty comeback. For now.

When the morning post there was a pleasant surprise for all. Well, It was pleasant for most, terrible for a few. An odd silence passed over the Great Hall as everyone opened the odd, brightly colored envelope first. The letter they received went as follows:

Dear Hogwarts Student,

Yesterday, we received an anonymous tip concerning a muggle past time called "Fan Fiction." Further investigation revealed that while "Fan Fiction" is written about many books and series, is seems that the "Harry Potter" series is by far the most popular. While reading these "Fanfics" it also came to our attention that many Hogwarts students are inaccurately portrayed. Whether you were only mentioned by name in the books, or not at all, or maybe you were portrayed inaccurately in the actual books, this can be a serious problem. So whatever your problem may be, we have the answer! Weasley's Wizard Wheezes is offering a new service. In just two short weeks www.therealhogwarts.wiz will be open for all to see! The Real Hogwart's goal is to educate muggles, as well as they can be educated, about what Hogwarts is really like. For only a small price your story can be included in this revolutionary website. Contact us today to reserve your spot in history!

Yours Truly,

Fred and George Weasley

Weasley's Wizard Wheezes

Reactions were mixed, to say the least. Many, including Ron and Harry, laughed. Others seemed to actually be considering it. A few wadded the paper up in much the same fashion Ron had disposed of the fan fiction. Malfoy was in the last group. In a few seconds everyone had recovered enough to discuss the letter.

"I think your brothers just introduced the wizarding world to junk mail," Hermione said.

"They would," was Harry's response. The letter seemed to have cheered him up quite a bit.

"So I think we should really review Chapter 24 of History of Magic today," Hermione said matter of factly.

"What's Chapter 24?" Ron asked.

"The Great Depression."

"Right," Ron said through his scrambled eggs.

After they finished, they went back up to the common room to study, giving Slytherin table a wide berth.