Here is chapter 4 of Love and Marriage.

I've decided to title my chapters, no particular reason though.

A thanks to my reviewers: Mrs. Nikki Slater, Daddys Little Baby Girl, and JessesLatinaQuerida

Hope you enjoy! R&R

-888-

Everyday I've spent with Paul is hell on earth. I am now more convinced than ever that this marriage will never work. It just can't. I mean, he's Paul Slater. And Paul Slater is not of the noble husband variety. He doesn't care for me. And I don't care for him. A marriage can't work if neither parties involved don't care for one another. These last four days, I made sure that every time we were together we would be in the public eye. So if he tried anything-which he didn't-everyone would see. I know he was dying inside just to kiss me again, but I could not fathom the thought of his lips pressed up against mine. The thing with Paul is, he doesn't just kiss, he tries pushing you for more. So yeah, occasionally his lips would meet my cheeks but I'd turn around just as fast as his lips came.

Every day he would come with a sealed carriage, his mighty stallion bringing up the front. And everyday I'd reject the offer of riding in his carriage, saying I could ride my own horse. The annoyance that showed through on his gorgeous face made it worth it every time I declined his offer. He argued that woman shouldn't ride horses, that it isn't proper. Only hearing these words coming from his mouth seemed utterly ridiculous, he doesn't know the first thing about women, yet alone what it is to be expected of us.

At last, though, the grand ball arrived; the celebration of his father's 50th birthday, and when the announcement whether our marriage is to happen or not will be made official. Of course, anyone who is anyone has asked me what my final decision is, but I refuse to tell until the gala. Leave Paul feeling a little hopeful… since I am everything he wants and more.

I suffered enough this week, I don't need to add unneeded suffering. For the occasion, the Slater's insisted on buying me a grand emerald velvet dress-I can't imagine the disappointment when I turn down their generous offer to be the beloved wife of one very kind and caring Paul Slater.

Honestly, I don't know what is wrong with me. I never used to be a sarcastic type.

I changed into my dress. It is a bit too much form my likes, but they insisted, so I suppose I have to wear it. And it is pretty; it's just not the general style I'm fond of. The bodice though is amazing, and I would truly love this dress if it weren't for the three tiered skirt that went all around me in a circle. I fluffed the tips of my hair with my fingertips, and I was ready to leave. Everyone but Andy had left in a carriage, he simply had to wait for me, so we could walk in together, hand in hand as the guests of honor.

From outside the banquet hall, voices rang across the now deserted town. Most of the shop owners had all been invited, therefore closing their business early. Those who weren't invited stayed at home, seeing as there was nothing going on in the town other than the ball. These things, in my opinion, are ridiculous. I always think of fairy tales when these things happen, and I can't imagine myself living a fairy tale. I just simply can't. Andy stepped out from the carriage, extending his hand t mine and helping me out. I got out from the carriage, and with Andy leading me, we proceeded to the entrance. I could seem father standing at the doorway, smiling brightly at me. "Follow your heart," he whispered before dematerializing. Where had I heard those words? They rang through my ears, but I shrugged the thought away and finally went through then entrance. Everyone stopped-at us- and waited until we reached the center of the ball underneath the great chandelier.

A soft song started up, and Andy led a dance, moments too soon later, Paul took over and the crowd eventually started up dancing again. "You look amazing, Suze," his voice drawled into my head, "Have you made your decision?"

"Yes."

Seconds passed, and I didn't elaborate. "Which would be?"

"I've made my decision, Paul, and you will know when the announcement is made just like everyone else." He smiled knowingly, as if I had just agreed to marry him. The music came to a stop and we broke apart. I, being all womanly-like, excused myself, and got as far as possible from the clutches of Paul Slater.

Then I saw him and my I froze. My heart sped up, my breathing labored. What was he doing here? Then I remembered, he still communicated with Paul occasionally, so of course he'd been invited. But I couldn't help but notice the woman whose arm so carelessly came around his. She was so pretty, far prettier than I, and much more put together. The way she held herself, you could tell she came from an important family. At that moment, however, Jesse chose to look up, as if he could feel my gaze penetrating him, and smiled at me. And… he excused myself and started in my direction.

I panicked, so I turned away. Whatever feelings I held for Jesse were unrequited. I'd been a foolish girl. Of course he didn't like me… not the way I liked him, anyway. Then it became clear… he had mentioned a girl named Maria, who he was being forced in to marrying as well. I stopped again, and turned around, watching him going through groups of people to reach me. At last, he finally caught up.

"Hello, Susannah. I thought you hadn't seen me at first. You're quite hard to catch, you know that." He smiled that seductively sweet smile.

"Well, actually, I thought I saw Paul talking with you so I turned away from you. Then I saw Paul clearly ahead of me and I stopped, realizing how silly this really is," I lied. I never lie, I promise. It's not right. Which is why I hate my ability so much, I can't tell anyone-except Paul.

He nodded, taking in my lie. I hate lying so much. "So I take it you will after all not agree to go through with this marriage?"

"No, I will not. But, please don't tell. I have not told anyone yet." He smiled knowingly. Taking my hand in his, he pulled me in closer, bringing his other hand to the arch at my back.

"Dance with me, querida," my mouth uttered no response, but I obliged. Quite willingly, too. The hand that was not in his went to rest above his shoulder as we danced to the gentle music playing. I don't know how much time we actually danced for-though, since four songs had played and ended, I had an appropriate estimate-when someone interrupted Jesse and I's dancing.

"Susannah, I've been looking for you," Andy's firm grip tightened on my shoulder and he pulled me away from Jesse, "I need to know your decision."

My eyes darted to Jesse, who nodded, willing me to speak. "Andy, I-I've…" Just then Paul showed up.

"So, Suze, what's it going to be? Am I going to be your husband?" Never!

"Um, actually," three sets of eyes looked at me expectantly; each set for a different reason. This marriage meant everything to Andy-he'd so keenly told me all the advantages over the union of the Ackerman-Slater family, how beneficial it would be to us. Paul-he just wanted it for no other reasons than himself. And Jesse, he wanted-well… I don't know what he wanted-but a deep down I know he didn't want this to happen as much as I did. It must be our mutual disdain for Paul. Which is exactly why I was utterly and horribly shocked when I said, "Yes. I'll give my consent towards this marriage, Andy, Paul." Paul's lips formed into his ever so arrogant smile; Andy nodded, content, and left to inform Mr. Slater I'm sure; and Jesse… his reaction hurt. A cold glint came over his eyes but it was gone as soon as it came and he turned on his heel, leaving me behind with the likes of Paul Slater himself.

There must be something deeply, deeply horribly wrong with me. There just has to, I mean I agreed to marriage with Paul Slater. "I knew you'd make the right decision, Suze. After all, no one can resist me or my charm, as you just so proved, Susannah." A smile played on his lips

I nodded blankly, and stuttered, "Excuse me… um, please," and I pushed past him, going in the direction I'd seen Jesse go. I found him outside, sitting out by a tree outside, his eyes closed. In the faint moon light, I had barely seen him, but I'd noticed a dark outline near the tree and I knew it was him. As I approached, I stepped quietly, carefully. "Jesse?" I called out, my voice weak.

"Yes, Susannah? What do you want?" He hissed with such venom I didn't know he had in him.

"Um, Jesse. I want to apologize-" he cut me off.

"For what, Susannah? For making me foolishly believe that you would really leave Paul Slater. Well, you had me fooled, I really hadn't thought you would actually agree to this, but of course, such a thing is preposterous when said thing involves Paul Slater. I really thought you understood-my strong dislike for him, the way he treats women-but I guess I was wrong. How much else was a lie, Susannah?" I felt my eyes start to prickle; Jesse was furious at me, and it hurt. Worst of all, he accused me of lying.

"Jesse, I never lied. I promise, I didn't. I panicked, I was ready to say no, then he showed up, and I panicked, before I knew it, I had agreed."

"Save it, Susannah. You don't need to explain or apologize yourself, nor make up excuses, it's all lost. Whatever trust I had in you. It's my fault for having been a fool, for believing and trusting you with things I never would have otherwise told anyone." And just like that Jesse left. No second glances, no nothing. He left me, and I was stuck in a situation that had no redemption, what was done, was done. I had consented, and now I'm going to have to live with those consequences.

The rest of the night went by in a blur. Everything following my confrontation with Jesse did not seem important enough to occupy my mind. In a way, Jesse was right, I had led him to believe something, and I had done that because I believed it myself, but it still didn't make it right. I'd hurt him, and that is all I could think about. How I had, in a sense, betrayed him. No one deserves to be a victim to betrayal, especially not Jesse.

In my bedroom, changed out of my dress and in my sleeping gown, I laid in my bed, the tears streaming down my face. I'd betrayed myself too. Now I was going to have to marry Paul, all because I could not keep my thoughts in order.

A gentle glow slowly filled the darkness of my bedroom, lighting it up with a surreal glow, a light so bright in the consuming darkness. "Dad," I whispered into the air.

"Susannah," he sat on the edge of my bed, his warm hand resting gently on my cheek, stroking it, wiping away at my tears. "Sweetie that is not what I meant by following your heart. In fact, I don't even think you followed your heart. You want to tell me what happened?"

I sniffed, there was no denying it, I was truly distraught. And I really needed a shoulder to cry on, even if said shoulder belonged to one of the dead. The owner of the shoulder though is my father, so it is quite alright. "Daddy," I cooed, I'd been about five when I'd last called him 'Daddy' "I don't know what happened. I was completely prepared to tell Andy to call the whole thing off and when Paul showed up, my brain stopped functioning and…. And I… I agreed to the marriage I gave Andy my consent to pursue it I don't know how or why but my mouth spoke for itself agreeing for me even when I so thoroughly thought it through that I did not want to marry Paul God I know I don't want to marry Paul I've known it all along but that still didn't stop me I said yes and that's all that matters I now have to stick with my decision because of my traitorous mouth Daddy," his finger rose to my lip, hushing me.

"Susannah," he chuckled bemusedly, "You're babbling, but I managed to get the important details." His lips brushed my forehead and as usual, he didn't say goodbye, simply dematerializing.

Needless to say, I did not sleep that night. I absolutely could not. Jesse will probably never speak to me again. My father disappeared when I needed him. On top of all that, I am now officially betrothed to Paul Slater. Life works in such marvelous ways. Again, the sarcasm, when will it end? All sarcastic thoughts seem to follow any thoughts relating to Paul… maybe there is some sort of connection there.

-888-

Please don't hate me! I really never meant for Suze to actually say yes! My fingers have betrayed me! I swear! When I got to that part, I stopped thought it over, and I was thinking NO! NO! NO! But my fingers typed yes! But, I will think my way out of the situation, since ultimately I want this to be J/S all the way.

Now, be now be the sweet little things you are and press the purty purple review button… please?