Chapter 4: Cruisin' with Golem
Golem arrived at the driving school at 10:00 on the day after he took his written driving test. He waited for a few minutes in the front office, then a young woman with long brown hair walked in the office. She was holding a notepad and pen in her right hand and a cup of coffee in her left hand. The woman was wearing a pink T-shirt, blue jeans with holes in the knees, brown sandals, and flowers in her hair. When she saw Golem, she said, "Can I help you?" Golem answered, "Yes. I am Golem, and I am here to take my driving test." The woman said, "Okay. Let me get the keys to the car and we can go ahead and begin." She walked out of the office, then came back a few seconds later with a set of keys. She walked out the front door to the parking lot with Golem following her. When they got to the parking lot, the woman said to Golem, "We're going to use the van for the driving test." She gave the van keys to Golem and they both got into a beat-up white 1987 Mitsubishi passenger van with brightly-colored peace sign decals all over it. Golem slid the driver's seat all the way back, and when he sat up straight, his head pushed the roof up and formed a large hump in the roof. He adjusted the rearview mirror and tried to put his seat belt on, but he couldn't get it buckled. The seat belt was just too short. The driving teacher pulled on the seat belt as hard as she could, but it still wouldn't reach the buckle. After about five minutes, she finally said, "Oh, just don't worry about it. I doubt if we're gonna have a wreck or something." Golem put the key in the ignition and turned it. The engine made a loud cranking noise, but it wouldn't start up. Golem pressed down on the accelerator pedal and turned the key again. This time the engine started, and a thick blue cloud of smoke formed behind the van. Golem put the van in Reverse, and he slowly backed out of the parking space. He gently pressed down on the brake pedal, and the engine died. Golem put the van in Neutral, pushed the accelerator to the floor, and restarted the van. He put it in Drive and drove the van towards the back parking lot on the other side of the building. When Golem reached the back parking lot, he stopped the van and the engine stalled again.
After Golem finally got the van started again, the driving teacher pointed to a set of cones arranged in a straight line. She told Golem, "I want you to weave in and out of those cones, then turn around and do it again in the other direction, and try not to knock them down." "Okay," said Golem. "I'll try my best." He drove the van closer to the first cone, then pressed the brake pedal. The van slowed down, but didn't stop. Golem steered the van around the cones until he reached the end of the line of cones, and he did it without hitting any of them. Then Golem turned the van around and drove through the cones again, and he didn't hit any that time either. The driving teacher scribbled a few notes in her notepad, then she pointed to another set of cones which were arranged in a rectangle. She said to Golem, "Okay, now I want you to back up and park within those cones without knocking them down." Golem drove to the edge of the parking lot and stopped just past the four cones. He put the van in Reverse and took his foot off the brake. He turned the steering wheel to the right and, while looking out the back window, he lightly tapped the accelerator. Golem got the van between the cones without hitting them, then he put the van in Drive and straightened out the van in the parking space. Golem stopped the van and put it in Park, and the engine sputtered and stopped running. Then the engine began to clunk and knock repeatedly. "Oh great!" complained the driving instructor. "The stupid engine's shot again!" Golem said, "It sounds like either out of oil or gas." Golem got out of the van and opened the hood. He pulled out the oil dipstick, which indicated a low oil level. He asked the driving instructor if there was a bottle of motor oil in the van, and she pulled a half-full bottle of motor oil out from under the front seat and handed it to Golem. He poured the motor oil in the engine, then he got back in the van, pushed down on the accelerator pedal, and turned the key. After seven attempts to get the van started, the engine finally started running, so Golem got out and shut the hood. When he got back in the van, the driving teacher said, "Now, I want you to parallel park in between those cones at the other end of the pavement." Golem drove the van to the other end of the parking lot where another set of cones were arranged in a rectangle. He stopped the van when the middle of the van was next to the last pair of cones, turned the front wheels to the left, and backed up towards the other pair of cones. When the front left wheel passed the cone beside the car, Golem turned the steering wheel to the right and gently pressed the brake pedal. When the van stopped, the back bumper was touching the left cone behind the car. Golem put the van in Drive, turned the steering wheel to the left, and gently tapped the accelerator. The van moved forward slowly, and Golem pressed down on the brake pedal and put the van in Park. The van was parked within the cones, but it was kind of crooked. The driving teacher scribbled some more in her notepad, then she said to Golem, "Okay, you did a very good job so far. Now it's time to drive on the streets." Golem drove the van to the front parking lot and stopped the van at the entrance to the street.
After waiting a couple of minutes for the traffic on Toshiba Boulevard to clear, Golem turned left and stayed in the left lane. As they approached the traffic lights at the Samsung Avenue intersection, the driving instructor told Golem, "Turn left up there at that stoplight." "Okay," replied Golem. He turned on the left turn signals and stopped the van at the red light. The light turned green a few minutes later, and Golem gradually pressed down on the accelerator and turned left onto Samsung Avenue. After Golem passed the junior high school building, the driving teacher said, "You can turn on the radio if you want." Golem turned on the van radio and searched through the stations until he found 92.3, the Smooth Jazz station. The song "Lily Was Here" by Candy Dulfer was playing on that station. Golem drove past Sanyo Road, and the driving teacher said, "You should've turned right at that street." Golem stomped on the brake pedal and the van skidded to a halt. "Oops," he said. "I'm sorry." Just as he put the van in Reverse, the driving instructor said, "Just kidding. You can keep going straight if you want." Golem put the van in Drive and kept going on Samsung Avenue until they approached the Panasonic Drive intersection. The traffic light turned red and Golem stopped the van at the intersection. "Which way do I turn, sensei?" he asked. The instructor said, "Take a left." Golem turned on the left turn signal and when he did, the turn indicator lit up but it wasn't flashing. Golem told the instructor, "Something wrong with the turn signal." The driving instructor said, "Must be either a dead fuse or a burnt out bulb. I'll get it fixed later." When the traffic light turned green, Golem gently pressed down the accelerator and turned left onto Panasonic Drive. The song "The Golden Age" by Hiroshima had just started playing on the radio. Golem was humming along to the music, and the driving teacher was singing along: "I lived beside you. We are the chosen few. We shared this home for a thousand years. Take a look around and you'll see, we leave a stain on a page of history, as the words have all been lost in a stream of tears…But if we learn to love, we could turn to another page, where we will live in peace, together in the golden age…" As they approached the entrance to the shopping center on the right, a gray Chevrolet Blazer pulled out in front of Golem's van. Golem slammed on the brakes and honked the horn and yelled, "Idiot!" The driving teacher said to Golem, "It's okay, man! Just calm down and mellow out." The traffic light up ahead had turned red, and the Blazer had stopped at the Toshiba Boulevard intersection. Golem gradually applied the brakes and the van stopped about two feet behind the truck. The light turned green about five minutes later and it had started to rain. Golem turned on the windshield wipers and the headlights, and continued straight on Panasonic Drive, following behind the gray Blazer and traveling at 40 MPH. The truck slowed down as it approached the stop sign at the Onkyo Street intersection, but didn't stop completely. It was slowly moving towards the stop sign, and it sped up again as it turned right onto Onkyo Street. As Golem's van approached the stop sign, he stopped the van completely, and the engine cut off. He tried to crank it back up about seven times before the engine started running again. Then he put the van in Neutral and put it in Drive again. The driving instructor told Golem, "Go straight on this street, and we can stop for lunch at that diner up ahead." Golem drove straight through the intersection and turned left into the parking lot outside the Enigma Diner. Golem parked the van and the driving teacher got out, but Golem was having some difficulty trying to get out. By the time he got out of the van, it started raining harder. Golem walked with the driving instructor to the front door of the diner.
Golem and the driving teacher sat down in a booth next to a window at the front of the diner. A fat waitress with brown hair walked up to their table and handed them menus. The waitress said, "Hi, my name is Roseanne and I'll be your waitress. Do you want anything to drink?" The driving instructor asked for a glass of sweet tea and Golem asked for a cup of coffee. Two minutes later, the waitress came back to their table and gave the driving teacher a glass of unsweet tea and a pack of Sweet N Low, and she gave Golem a cup of hot muddy water and a pack of Sweet N Low. The waitress asked if they were ready to order, and Golem said, "I'd like a hamburger with fries, please." The driving instructor said, "I just want a cup of vegetable soup." The waitress took their menus and walked back to the kitchen. Five minutes later, she returned with a tray of food. The waitress gave the driving instructor a cup of hot dishwater with pieces of mixed vegetables in it, and she gave Golem a plate that had a rock on dry toast and a small pile of twigs next to it and a bottle of ketchup. The driving teacher slowly sipped her soup, but Golem finished his plate of food within a minute. A few minutes later, the waitress walked by the table and the driving teacher asked for a refill. The waitress returned with another glass of unsweet tea and another pack of Sweet N Low, and she also gave them the check. The teacher looked at the check and she noticed "Sweet Tea – 99 cents" was written twice on the check. She got up and walked up to the cashier, and then Golem got up and left $3 on the table. The driving instructor asked the cashier why the check had sweet tea listed twice, and he explained that they charge full price for refills on drinks. Just then, the waitress spotted Golem standing behind the driving teacher, and she told Golem that customers were not supposed to leave tips and handed the $3 to Golem. Finally, Golem and the driving teacher left the diner and got back in the van.
When they got in the van, Golem turned the key and the ignition cranked repeatedly, but the engine wouldn't start. He turned the key again and stomped on the accelerator pedal, but the engine still refused to start. After seven more tries, he finally got the engine started, and thick blue smoke spewed out of the exhaust pipe. Golem put the van in Reverse, and the engine began rattling loudly as he backed out of the parking space. He put the van in Drive and drove out of the parking lot onto the street. After they turned right onto Panasonic Drive, Golem noticed thick white steam coming out from under the hood. He pulled over onto the hard shoulder and got out and opened the hood. Then more steam spewed from the radiator into Golem's face. Golem saw that the coolant tank next to the radiator was completely empty, so he told the driving teacher, "I'm going to go to a store and buy some radiator fluid. I will be back soon." Then he walked towards the shopping center on the other side of Toshiba Boulevard and ran across the street when the traffic on Toshiba Boulevard stopped at the red light. Golem walked through the front doors of the Loads of Food supermarket, bending over a little to avoid hitting his head. Two minutes later, he came out of the store with a jug of radiator fluid. He made his way back across the street towards the old jalopy of a van, and he poured half the jug of fluid in the van's coolant tank. Golem got back in the driver's seat and got the van started again, and the driving instructor scribbled some more notes in her notepad and said to him, "Golem, it's getting kinda late. You want to go ahead and drive back to the driving school?" "All right," said Golem. "How did I do on my driving test?" The teacher answered, "You did very good. You just have to relax a little more, even when another car cuts you off in traffic. So I gave you a 95 on your driving test." "Okay," Golem said happily. "Thank you, sensei." The driving instructor tore the sheet of paper out of the notepad and gave it to Golem, who said to her, "I am very pleased, sensei."
When Golem drove back to the driving school building, the van's engine was rattling loudly and blue smoke continued to spew out of the exhaust pipe. He parked the van in the front parking lot, positioning it carefully and evenly in the parking space. Then he put the van in Park and shut the engine off and got out. After they both got out of the van, the engine started knocking and clunking loudly for several seconds, then suddenly, one of the back tires deflated. Golem walked into the driving school office with the driving teacher and filled out some papers. A few minutes later, he walked slowly into a room which had several large machines in it. The large rock monster stood in front of one machine which was a camera, and the camera took his picture. The machine next to it printed out his driver's license. Golem took his driver's license and left the driving school, daydreaming about driving around town with the young driving teacher.