Disclaimer: I do not own G Gundam or any of its characters.
A.N.: Thank you so much to those who reviewed. I love you, I love you, I love you! Next one should be up on July 23, 2004. I'm off for a fun weekend. This chapter is dedicated to my brother. Even though he doesn't read my work, I love him dearly. Happy Birthday to him.
I know this chappie's a little shorter than the rest, but the whole requiem thing took me a while. This was actually the hardest one for me to write, because it was more of a filler between main events. It focuses primarily on thoughts of characters and their interactions. It gets rather complicated at the end, but try to imagine everything overlapping like in a movie.
Remember July 23, 2004. Next chapter.
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THESE FOOLISH GAMES: Chapter 17
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WARNINGS: religious warning, once again, the religious aspects are not meant to insult anyone or declare a single religion better than another, it is simply to add to the medieval setting as it is a rather quintessential part of the period.
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He stared back at her. "Your majesty, you want it to end?"
"Don't call me 'your majesty'. I am nothing but a lady in waiting. You are a Prince, I should be addressing you in that manner, not the other way around.
"This deception has gone far enough. This guilt, it's eating away at me. I can't lie to people like this. I've begun to, to care for them. I haven't ever had much of a family, or friends, Marie-Louise being an exception. But here, I feel so happy. You and your family took me in, treated me like your own. I've been living a fairytale, pretending it would never end.
"I'm not the Mersenian Princess, he cannot marry me. He cannot love me. Tonight, as I spent time with Lord Domon, I realized it has to end.
"You see, I'm in love with him."
"In love with him?" he questioned her rather calmly.
She smiled wryly. "Or quickly on my way to being so. But anyway you may construe it, it's wrong. I am not allowed to feel this. Remember what we discussed when you first found out who I was and you asked me to stand up to Lady Allenby? I'm not for toying with hearts. And now that I know what is happening, I can't stay. Please understand. I need to leave here as soon as I can. I can't help you protect Domon from Lady Allenby anymore. I know that that was why you would keep my secret, but even if you have to expose us, I would rather it be that way than to go on making it worse: for everyone involved."
He calmly leaned against the wall, half-hidden in the shadows. "That's very brave of you, for you know the punishment for deception of the royal court and for acting above your status. Beatings and the stocks. And that's aside from any informal sort of castigation you may very well receive."
Rain did know, and she understood the risks she was taking. The incident with Sai Saici a few weeks ago was only the beginning of severe and cruel torture mechanisms. She swallowed nervously, thinking as she had earlier about what would happen if she decided to leave: weighing her options over and over. She had been thinking about her guilt for quite some time now, and was tied between her loyalties to many people: Prince Domon, Lady Marie-Louise, Sir George, Sai Saici, Lord Kyoji. But it was too late to go back now, she made her decision with full knowledge of the consequences.
"However, I don't believe any of that is necessary. It serves no purpose in my opinion. I can understand your motives. Confirm this with the real Mersenian Princess, and then send a messenger first to me that everything is in order. I will then arrange for the three of us to meet and organize your departure for your homeland. After, you will of course have to let the rest of my family know. The rest should be as usual."
He turned, hand on the knob of the door, making as though about to leave, when he paused.
"And Lady Rain,"
She raised her head.
"I will conceal your secret until the end of my days. I would not dream of exposing either of you in such a crude and malicious manner."
The door slammed shut, announcing his departure.
"Thank you," Rain said quietly to the empty room.
So, she was returning to Mersenia. Lord Kyoji had called it her homeland. But was it really? She didn't even know who her family was. For all she knew they could be gypsies just as well as royalty. Her whole life, she was raised with Mersenia as her home. But now, she felt more comfortable here in Sauvillia. Her visit here had made her so happy, so comfortable. For the first time in a long, long time, she could rely on others. She had made friends outside of Marie-Louise. She had more 'family' here in Sauvillia in a couple of weeks than her 21 years in Mersenia. In a way, she felt rather like she was about to leave her home, a place she loved dearly.
The thought of leaving brought neither joy nor repulsion from her. Inside, she felt tired and indifferent. She accepted that this was the best course of action for everyone involved, and this acceptance made her impassive. This was the way it had to be.
There was no other way.
But how would she break it to Marie-Louise??
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Soft notes floated through the air, the tune soulful and tragic. Each note, skillfully plucked from the shimmering gold harp, combined with the others to create the sound of a flawless Requiem. Knowledgeable hands glided along the strings, back and forth, striking chords with careful and easy measure.
A lilting soprano voice joined the notes in breaking the dark night's stillness.
"Dies irae, dies illa
Solvet saeclum in favilla,
Teste David cum Sibylla.
Quantus tremor est futurus
Quando judex est venturus
Cuncta stricte discussurus."
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Her feet pattered down the corridor, setting a beat parallel to the sobs she was emitting from her soul. Blindly, she shoved open the doors leading outside, brushing past serving ladies in the hall who sent concerned glances at the back of her distressed figure. The darkness of the early morning outside concealed her easily, for which she was grateful.
Not knowing where to go, or what to do, she simply ran, hands over her face, crumpled in pain. She ran until she made out the sound of a song, and paused. The sobs slowly began to fade away as she stood listening.
A Requiem. (1)
She walked closer to the music in a dazed sort of state, flowing as though the notes had wound a trail from the source to her soul. Rounding a fountain of an angel, she took in the sight before her.
A soft wind blew through the outdoor courtyard, ruffling the hair of the man sitting near the soprano. He closed his eyes, and tilted his head back against his seat, allowing her dulce voce (2) to work its magic over his soul and soothe him. Her nimble fingers continued to run dexterously across her instrument, her voice combining to create pure perfection.
"Judex ergo cum sedebit
Quidquid latet apparebit,
Nil inultum remanebit.
Quid sum miser tunc dicturus,
Quem patronum togaturus,
Cum vix justus sit securus?
Rex tremendae majestatis,
Qui salvandos salvas gratis,
Salve me, fons pietatis."
Her hands halted there, stroking a last note. The man opened his eyes to see what was wrong. After all, that was not the end of the Requiem.
The fingers still remained poised on the golden strings, as though waiting to continue, but her head was turned up from the instrument, violet eyes fixed on her hiding behind the fountain. She moved to set the harp back into its original position and stand in greeting, but before she could remove the weight from her torso, the person signaled for her to not bother.
"Please, Countess Nastasha, I apologize. I should not have been eavesdropping. It's just that you play the requiem so remarkably well."
"I do not mind. If you wish to listen, by all means, please do so. My music is not reserved for a select few."
Baron Gulskii stood up, hand outstreached in an invitation. "Please take a seat, my Lady."
Marie-Louise moved from behind the fountain's statue. Taking his hand, she seated herself in a chair, and relaxed as the Countess continued. Taking Baron Gulskii's actions as an example, she mimicked his position and closed her eyes. Memories from the evening echoed in her mind, voices repeating their words over and over in her mind.
"We have no choice. We must go. Don't you realize what is happening here?"
"I've never known anyone like you. There is something strange about the way you act. You're so unlike any of the handmaidens I've ever known. You're free-spirited, carefree, yet incredibly kind and graceful."
Leave?? Why on earth...
..
"Recordare, Jesu pie,
Quod sum causa tuae viae,
Ne me perdas ilia die."
..
"This isn't a foolish game, Marie-Louise! We're hurting them!!"
No...No I'm not...
"I was wondering, Rain..."
Yes?
"Toying with their feelings!! It's wrong!"
Wrong.
..
"Juste judex ultionis
Donum fac remissionis
Ante diem rationis."
..
"I was wondering, if maybe you..."
Yes? Yes?
"If maybe you would consider..."
"You don't belong here. I don't belong here. You're not a lady in waiting, and I'm not a princess. This isn't our world. It's wrong."
No.
..
"Preces meae non sum dignae,
Sed tu bonus fac benigne,
Ne perenni cremet igne."
..
Tears streamed down her face, marking her cheeks with proof of her shame and conflicting emotions.
Leaving...
"Would you marry me?"
..
"Lacrimosa dies ilia
Qua resurget ex favilla
Judicandus homo reus.
Huic ergo parce, Deus,
Pie Jesu Domine,
Dona els requiem."
..
Wrong.
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TBC
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(1): Requiem: a song or hymn of mourning composed or performed as a memorial to a dead person
(2): dulce voce: sweet voice
The lyrics for the requiem clips I took are translated at the site below from Mozart's Requiem. Yes, I realize Mozart's Requiem wasn't around in the medieval days, but requiems in general were, and while I tried some of the medieval ones, none of them were as expressive as Mozarts. I would have posted the translations here, but that would take up a lot of extra space. I recommend that you check them out though, and at the site, they are side by side latin to english. Very easy to you
Artemis1082