Breathe

Chapter 9

" For the record, please state your name, rank and badge number," Agent Monroe said as she sat down at the table and pressed the tape recorder.

Calleigh, inhaled deeply then let it out slowly , " Calleigh Speedle, CSI level three/ Detective, 758342."

" Let it be known that Detective Speedle has requested a union rep and he is in attendance," Monroe continued curtly. The union rep nodded her way and glanced at Calleigh. He was there only for assistance , if needed. " Let's get down to business then shall we? Detective Speedle, on August the twentieth, a mandatory drug test was administered to all Miami Dade P.D. employees, including the crime lab. You were notified of the results of this test, recently. This investigation is in regards to the positive that was found in your sample. The drug was Valium, and we don't have any record of you receiving any prescription from an licensed doctor. Care to explain that?"

Calleigh dropped her head then raised it with purpose. This was just a mistake, a misunderstanding, " I have been going to a therapist since the death of my husband two years ago. She gave me some samples to take home after each visit."

" So it was in her opinion that you needed the medication?" Monroe asked.

" No, but she said that it would help me when I needed it. I don't take one every day, just when it gets to be too much," Calleigh said , knowing how this sounded.

" How much were you taking?"

"100mg."

" And at what frequency?"

Calleigh paused at the question, and dropped her eyes once more. She had doubled up on the pills after the bank robbery scene, it reminding her so much of when she lost Tim.

"Detective Speedle,..."

" Twice a day, daily for the past month," Calleigh stated lowly.

" That doesn't sound like something to help you get over, detective."

" I had just lost my husband!"

"Detective, your husband died over two years ago, that has been plenty of time to heal. Especially with the amount of therapy that you said you were getting. You are abusing this drug."

" That's ridiculous! I am not abusing any drug," Calleigh spat angrily.

"Detective, hold your voice down. We are simply trying to get to the root of the matter here," Stetler said as he emerged from the corner. Calleigh had forgotten all about him.

" No, what you are trying to do is ruin a good reputation!" Calleigh yelled. The union rep placed a hand on Calleigh's arm and tried to calm her.

" Detective Speedle, you are relieved of duty pending a further investigation of your actions," Stetler said swiftly as he nodded to Monroe , who made a notation. " Effective immediately."

Calleigh sat there stunned beyond belief. What had just happened here? She glanced to her union rep who shook his head and moved to get up. A moment later , she found herself sitting outside the office with tears in her eyes. She was off the team, indefinitely.

TS

" Has anyone seen Calleigh around here this afternoon?" Eric asked as he walked into the layout room. Horatio turned to the young man and shook his head. No one had seen Calleigh since this morning.

" I saw her as she was coming in at about one thirty," Wolfe offered as he stared at the evidence on the table. " She was with someone."

" One thirty? That's been over two hours ago," Horatio returned as he glanced at his watch. It was odd of her not to have at least called. His head snapped up when he heard the door open , seeing Stetler standing with a file in his hand.

" Horatio, I need a word."

Horatio glanced at Eric then to Wolfe as he got up and strode to the door. When he got outside, he stood in front of the IAB agent and stared him down.

" Can I help you with something, Rick?"

" I just wanted to inform you that Detective Speedle has been relieved of duty pending a further investigation into her drug use," Stetler said as he opened the file.

Horatio glanced down angrily at the floor, wanting to slam this man into it , but he held his composure and shot his head up to meet his eyes again, " Rick, that isn't called for."

" Horatio, she popped positive for a drug that she wasn't legally authorized to use, and you don't think that this was called for? So should I just let all pill popping addicts out of jail?"

" Calleigh is not a pill popping addict. I know her, she..."

" If you know her so much , then why didn't you pick up on this sooner?"

Horatio again had no choice other than to glance down at the floor. This time, the feeling was of guilt rather than anger. In a sense, Stetler had been right. He really didn't know what Calleigh was going through, none of them really. It was as if Speed's death had taken him on a downward spiral, and he was powerless to stop it. He knew that he had talked less to his team, but he felt like he couldn't face them in that capacity, not after he had all let them down.

" Calleigh will come out of this ," Horatio answered through his gritted teeth. " Talk to her therapist."

" We intend to, but until then she is suspended. I'll send the paperwork to your office as soon as possible. If it matters, I am truly sorry about all of this."

" I'm sure you are," Horatio said as he turned to go into the layout room. Now, he had to tell her team mates that Calleigh may not be coming back.

TS

" Tim wake up, please, wake up..."

Tim jolted out of his slumber to hear the phone ringing, and quickly got up to answer, feeling the room spin with each step. He reached the phone on the third ring, looking at the caller id. He'd recognized that cell number anywhere.

" Hello?"

" Trent, it's me, Calleigh. You mind if I take you up on that dinner?" Calleigh asked. Tim could hear her sniffling through the phone.

" Not at all. What's the matter?"

" I just had a bad day at work," Calleigh returned, " Cammi, give that to mommy, please."

Tim smiled at the sounds of his daughter , as her little voice filtered through the phone. He felt his heart swell a thousand times over.

" Trent?"

" Oh , yeah , I'm here. Should I bring something?"

" Just your listening ears and a truck load of patience, my daughter's going to be dining with us as well," Calleigh said lightly. Tim could still hear the hurt in her voice. " I'll cook."

" No, no that won't be necessary, I can cook," Tim replied quickly. If there was anything he could do , it was cook.

" Alright then, should we say, six thirty?"

" Six thirty is fine with me," Tim said smiling into the phone.

" We'll be waiting."

"Good. See you then."

As Tim hung up the phone , he instantly forgot all that was troubling him, and focused on the aspect of being able to see his daughter again.

TS

Calleigh didn't know why she thought to call Trent before she called anyone else. It was as if she needed to hear his voice to feel like everything was going to be alright. She noticed as Cammi had toddled into the living room, leaving a trail of toys behind her, and smiled. Her daughter was the only thing that could make her smile after she lost Tim, but now she found herself doing that more often without needing to think about her. There was something about Trent that was mesmerizing to her. It made her feel like she could spend every waking moment being with him. She had been so long without feeling love, she wondered if that is what she was experiencing.

Coming into the spacious living room, Calleigh sat on the plush couch that Tim had brought when they first moved in, and let her eyes lilt over the numerous pictures on the tables and the host of others that sat on the baby grand piano in the corner. In all of them, Tim was there. Then there were the ones without him; they usually tugged at Calleigh's heart the most. It was a testament that he was no longer apart of her life, a love lost. She got up effortlessly and walked to the piano, letting her hands drift over the slick black surface. Instantly , she was transported to the times that Tim sat at the instrument, sometimes to think, but mostly to seduce. She chuckled to herself as she picked up a photograph of him, smiling that killer smile of course. She lightly touched the glass of the frame and felt the familiar tears that always accompanied her thoughts of him.

" Hey there hotshot. I hope you don't mind, I'm having company," Calleigh said as she saw her reflection in the glass. It showed the hurt that she still carried for him. All of a sudden she felt guilty for feeling what she felt about Trent and she felt compelled to reach inside of her and let the words speak, " I'll always love you, Tim , you know that. I just need some human contact."

Calleigh smiled faintly and put the picture back in it's place. As soon as she sat back down, her door bell rang. She glanced up to the black and gold clock that was hanging above the television and chuckled to herself. Six thirty on the dot.

She picked Cammi up from the floor and walked to the door. When she opened it , she saw Trent with a bouquet of tulips and a teddy bear. The smile that invaded her face, spread inside of her, warming her. She noticed as he had a look of surprise as he gazed upon her and her daughter.

" Daddy..." Cammi said from her mother's arms. Calleigh looked at her daughter and felt her face turn crimson.

" Oh, no honey , that's not daddy," Calleigh said as she turned her focus back on Tim . It looked as if he had tears in his eyes. " I'm sorry , Trent. She looks at the pictures around the house and thinks everyone is her daddy."

" It's no problem, Calleigh. She's beautiful," Tim said as he tried his best to hold on to the emotions he was feeling. This was his daughter. He took in the dark hair, the brown eyes and the chipmunk cheeks that had a dimple in it when she smiled, which is what she was doing at that very moment.

" Daddy, daddy, daddy ," Cammi repeated as she squirmed to get out of Calleigh's arms. Calleigh, fought with the young girl for a moment , then put her down. Cammi toddled to Tim's leg and put her arms up, " Up daddy, up."

Calleigh was feeling more than embarrassment by now, and she started to pick her up again before she saw his expression.

" You don't mind , do you?" Tim asked as he looked to Calleigh. Calleigh shook her head, the amazement apparent in her eyes. Tim bent down and scooped the little girl into his arms and instantly, he felt the connection.

" Hi, daddy," Cammi said as she gave him a hug around his neck. Tim felt the love from this little girl and his eyes began to water at the intensity of it.

"Hi," Tim replied as his voice cracked slightly. He couldn't believe that he was holding her, a child that he had a part in , but never saw coming into the world.

" Looks like she likes you,"Calleigh said almost softly. " Forgive her if she's clingy, with the exception of Eric, she's never really known a father."

The words hit Tim like a ton of bricks and he looked down at the floor, feeling like the cheapest bastard alive. How could he have done this to her, to them? He truly didn't know what he was leaving behind. Despite what he was feeling on the inside, he continued to smile as Calleigh ushered him into the foyer.

" Oh , it's fine. But I didn't get a name from her."

" Tell him your name, honey," Calleigh said proudly.

The little girl hid her face in her tiny hands and laid her head on his shoulders. Tim comforted her and coaxed her by saying, " Do you know your name?"

She shook her head and threw out a brilliant smile, " Um hum."

" You want to tell me?"

She nodded again and put her hand to his ear and whispered, " Camille Elizwabef Speewel."

" What did she say?" Calleigh asked as she moved to them.

" I think what she was trying to say was Camille Elizabeth Speedle," Tim said as he glanced sideways to her, " Am I right?"

Again, she nodded her head and added furious giggles as he gave her a hug.

" You are such a big girl," Tim said with admiration.

" Well, come on in," Calleigh said as she gestured to the door way, " Living room is down there. Make yourself at home. I'll go put these lovely flowers some water."

Tim nodded and walked with Cammi in his arms, astounded at how much his home had stayed the same. Everything was as he remembered it. He saw the countless of photos that Calleigh was so obsessive over, it paining his heart to see and remember. His life was good, why did he have to mess it up by not being responsible? He tried his best to put those thoughts away as he shifted Cammi in his arms easily. She squirmed slightly then laid her head on his shoulder, grasping hold to his back as if to anchor him down.

Tim took in the living room, immediately seeing the black baby grand exactly where he put it. He walked over to it and sat Cammi down on the bench and settled in next to her. Opening the cover, a million memories came rushing back to him as he lightly touched the white keys. Soon , his hands were walking easily through the keys, playing as if they were on autopilot. From the kitchen, Calleigh heard the chords as he played them and she stopped what she was doing and walked out intothe living room. She stood quietly as he continued to play the song, and gazed at him. She saw the emotion and the passion that flowed out of him as his hands gracefully moved across the keys, never hitting a erroneous note. It reminded her a lot of Tim.

When he was finished, Calleigh clapped her hands together and strode over to them, beaming.

" How long were you standing there?" Tim asked as he felt the color rise in his cheeks.

"Long enough. You play so well."

" My nana taught me," Tim said as he turned to Cammi. She had settled down considerably and lazily scooted up next to him.

" My husband played," Calleigh returned with a hint of sadness, " his grandmother taught him as well."

" Really?" Tim asked as he glanced down to Cammi, who had now fallen asleep. He looked up at Calleigh and motioned to her, " I think she's fallen asleep."

Calleigh leaned over him, letting her hair cascade down the side of her face, to see that indeed the little girl was sleep. Tim got up slowly and helped Calleigh pick her up.

" I'm going to put her in bed, I'll be right back."

" Alright," Tim said as he watched her walk back down the foyer and ascended the stairs. He took another glance around and smiled broadly . He was home.

TBC...

A/N: It was getting late, so I had to chop it off right here. There will be more, I promise...

A/N: Oh and thanks for all the feedback, it makes me feel special :) Keep reading and reviewing!