Chapter 11: Rory

Saying goodbye to Hope wasn't a big deal. We both knew we'd see each other again soon. That made it a lot easier.

Now I'm lying in my hotel bed in London. Barcelona was great. We visited all the places you have to see and I think Rory enjoyed it. Right now she's outside to explore the city on her own. I think she mentioned going to Covent's Garden.

I have to face that I'm not twenty anymore. I really need my nap or at least time to rest around noon. Flying every week to another place makes me a little tired. And I know Rory loves the time she gets on her own, so there's no need for me to go with her.

Today I can't sleep so I'm thinking about Richard and me. We made it a habit that we would call Richard and Lorelai at least once a week. This time I made sure to ask about him, but his answer wasn't very specific. Everything's going great with his business. That's so typical, I ask him how he's doing and his answer is only about his business. As if he's nothing more than that damn business.

I can hear Rory coming back. I look at my alarm – 2:50 pm. I'm always getting up at 3 pm, but even now – only ten minutes before my time – I can hear that she's careful to be quiet. I'm so glad that she came with me. We're not sharing all our thoughts with each other, but we didn't fight once. I never had this with Lorelai.

Thinking of Lorelai she honestly hasn't taught her some basic things. I have to constantly remind Rory not to touch the luggage. But what can I expect? – On her last trip she went backpacking around Europe.

Rory and I are enjoying the same things, and when she saw Buckingham Palace she had the same thoughts I had, when I saw it first. That it's not that huge and pompous as you would imagine the residence of the Queen to be. I asked her whether she'd seen Windsor Castle before. She hadn't. So we went there for the next day. That Castle never fails to amaze me. It's so big and over 1000 years old. I can still hear Rory's words on our train back to London.

"Thanks so much for taking me to this place Grandma. That castle is exactly how you would imagine the residence of the Queen to be. I loved it. And the little village beside it, is lovely, too. It's too bad the US doesn't have these places of history. If I'd only could take a look into the library of the Castle, but I guess that's not allowed."

"No it's not Sweetie. But you're right a look into the library would be great. The Queen has many old books and paintings in it." I replied.

"I can't believe Mom and I missed this place, but then we only had three days in London, not that one week is much, but it's better than three days."

She was so excited her mouth wouldn't stop talking about The State Apartments and St Georges Chapel until we arrived at Waterloo Station (which was one hour later). I love to be able to share these things with her. And now I'm even more convinced that she'll love Neuschwanstein.

It's 3 pm so I'm standing up now. This afternoon we're going to go shopping in Oxford Street. When I go into our living-room she's sitting on the couch looking up from her novel, smiling at me while asking:

"Did you sleep well, Grandma?"

"Yes I did. So how was Covent Garden?"

"Great. London has so many wonderful places. I just can't say which one is my favourite."

"I think I couldn't pick one either."

"I don't even know if I would want to leave for Stockholm."

"You had the same feeling back in Barcelona. I think we should go to Stockholm. I'm sure you'll like it there, too."

"You're probably right Grandma."

"So ready to go shopping, Sweetie?"

"Yes I am."

3:15 pm. Where is she? We arrived in Stockholm this morning. As usual I took my nap after lunch (I'm still tired) and Rory is off to explore the town on her own. But normally she was always back until 3 pm. Sometimes even earlier. I would come out of my room and she would be sitting on the couch asking me "Did you sleep well Grandma?" and I would reply (true or untrue) "Yes I did." Then we would go outside to do whatever we planned to do, enjoying ourselves. But not today.

Perhaps she's just a little late, I shouldn't get upset too early. But then that's not her, she never was late.

3:30 pm. I'm starting to get really worried. How could I give my permission to this? She doesn't even know this town. What if she got lost? In London and Barcelona she at least knew the language but not here. How could I've been this irresponsible?

Just take care of her Mom, will you?

Of course I'll take care of her, don't worry.

'Don't worry'. How could I let this happen? Why isn't she calling me? I try to call her, but nothing. She must have turned her mobile phone off. Or someone else … no I have to stop thinking about the worst.

3:45 pm. I'm going outside searching for her. I just can't bear it anymore, pacing the lonely room, looking out of the window for a sign. I have to do something. I know the police wouldn't do anything right now, after all she's not even an hour late, but I know something must have happened. I'm writing her a note, praying she will be back before me.

There's no sight of her. After wandering through the streets for half an hour I'm heading back to our hotel. I pray that she'll be there.

She's not. Now it's 4:30 pm and I'm starting to freak out. I wish I could call someone, but who? They all would be worried as well and they couldn't do anything anyway. Why isn't Richard here? He would know what to do. He would know how to calm me down or at least he would try. And I would feel a little better, just because of him trying.

Again horror stories are coming to my mind, while I'm pacing through the room. Every town has it's bad quarters, what if she got into one? She's so young. If something will happen to her, I will never forgive myself. How should I explain this to Lorelai? Oh God, please let her come home safe – immediately.

I'm calling the reception asking if they've seen my granddaughter, but of course they haven't. I just needed to talk to someone.

4:45 pm. I'm about to cry. All I can think about is praying that she will walk into our suite and that nothing serious has happened - and about when to call the police. If she's not here by 6 pm I'll do it. And I'll get them to search for her, my granddaughter won't be on her own in a strange town during the night.

Please Rory come! Where are you? She's still not answering her mobile phone. I must have called her a hundred times. Telling her to please call me back.

Suddenly the door is opening and she's standing there – looking happy. Not even a little regret in her smile. But thank God, she's smiling.

"Where have you been? Are you alright?"

"Yes. - Sorry I'm late. You don't know what-"

"Sorry? Rory do you know how scared I was? Why weren't you answering your phone?"

"I didn't hear it."

"I can't believe this."

She's checking her purse. I can't believe this. How can she be so unconcerned? Hasn't she thought of me at all? Is she really that irresponsible?

"The battery is empty."

"And you didn't notice before?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"So you never thought of calling me?" I say upset.

"Grandma, please-"

"No Rory. I can't believe this. What got into you? Haven't you thought one bit about me? How I must have been feeling? You - missing in a strange town, where you don't even know the language –"

"But everyone speaks English, Grandma."

"Don't interrupt me, my girl. I made up the worst scenarios in my head, about what could have happened to you. If you wouldn't have been here within the next hour I would have called the police."

"What, but Grandma, that's ridiculous. I'm going to Yale –"

"Ridiculous? Don't get into this Rory. You know what's ridiculous? That you weren't even thinking about calling."

"I'm sorry –"

"Stop that, being sorry is not enough. You don't know what I've been through."

She's not even trying to understand me. I know I'm upset (and I have every right to be, haven't I ?) and that my voice has reached a level it never has with her before.

"Well what do you expect me to say?" she yells at me.

"Don't you raise your voice to me." I respond loudly.

"It won't happen again, ok?" she says annoyed, but a little more quiet.

"No it surely won't, cause you're not going out on your own again."

"What? You can't be serious." again she's getting louder.

"Oh yes I am. When I take my nap you'll stay here, period." I respond firmly.

"You can't do that."

"Can't I? I'm your grandmother and you will do what I say."

"Because you say so?"

She's just looking like Lorelai. I feel like I'm fighting with my daughter the way we did over 20 years ago. This can't be happening.What did go wrong?

"Watch your tone young lady."

She's glaring at me. I have to stop this, otherwise I'll loose control completely and I know I would regret that. But seeing her like this, not even caring about me - I can't stand this.

"Go into your room."

"What?"

"If you have any respect left for me, you'll not make me repeat this."

She turns around and leaves for her room. I'm leaving for mine. I'm getting a headache. I know I was harsh – too harsh maybe. And I don't even know what happened - why she was late. I know I was too upset to let her explain herself, but the last two hours were just too much for me.

And that wasn't Rory I was facing, that was Lorelai. Yelling at me, saying my behaviour would be ridiculous, not even trying to understand me. I never expected her to say these things, to talk to me like that.

I'm so grateful that she's alright. Thank God. I'm so relieved.

I wonder if she will come to me? Probably not. I've sent her to her room, so I don't think she'll leave it. Slowly I'm calming down.

When I go into the living-room I hear her crying quietly. I was too harsh. But at least she's still there. Lorelai would have been out of the window by now. So perhaps she hasn't turned into her mother after all.

I wonder whether I should knock? I decide against it. Even if she wouldn't answer I would go in there anyway. We have to solve this. I can't bear another fight or worse loosing her, too. I have to make her understand. I have to talk to her.

She's lying on her bed, her face in the pillows. Slowly I'm walking to her bed to sit down. My hand reaches out to touch her hair. She stops crying.

"Rory?" I say softly.

No response.

"You scared the hell out of me. I imagined terrible things."

"I would say I'm sorry, but you don't want to hear that." she answers a little defiant.

"I know I was harsh, maybe too harsh, but I panicked. You're never late and then two hours."

"I'm not a kid anymore Grandma."

"No you're not. But it's in every newspaper. 'Girl raped and murdered' – and they're your age. I freaked out Rory."

"That were your thoughts?"

So she really didn't get it until now. She didn't know about my thoughts.

"Yes."

"I'm so sorry Grandma. What do you want me to say?"

"Where have you been?"

"I was walking through the streets, when I noticed that Queen Sylvia would be there soon. So I decided I had to see her, because when do you get the chance to see an actual queen? Well it all turned out to take a little longer and I completely forgot about you. I know this is stupid and not to have a full battery even more. I never meant to scare you. I apologize."

"So you actually saw the Queen of Sweden? How is she?"

"Very nice – beautiful."

I'm looking at her. So it was the Queen's fault. I understand her a little more now, but to not even think of me. I sigh. I know very well that I haven't accepted her apology yet. Suddenly she gets all teary again.

"I'm sorry I talked to you the way I did. It's not that I don't respect you. I do respect you Grandma, please believe me. - Forgive me." she whispers the last words.

Then she starts to cry again. I'm embracing her in a hug.

"Of course I forgive you. Shhh."

I'm rocking her back and forth. She's crying and crying. There has to be more behind this than our fight. If I could only bring her to talk to me. She needs someone to talk to – I have Hope and I'm so glad for it. She always told Lorelai everything but now that they're fighting I would wish for her to open her heart to me. So I'm finally asking her.

"What's going on with you Rory?"

"I can't tell you."

"Rory-"

"Please Grandma, don't make me talk. I can't. Please just hold me.

And that's what I'm doing. I can't and won't force her to talk. I can only offer to listen. After ten minutes she's calming down.

"Thank you Grandma."

"You know I'm always there for you."

"So you're not mad at me anymore?"

"No."

"Thank you. - Does that mean I'm allowed to go out again tomorrow?"

"No."

Her face drops. But I can't do this. I told her no, and honestly I have no desire to go through this again.

"No?"

"Rory, my nerves can't stand that a second time."

"But I would have a full battery. I won't be late again. I promise."

"No. And stop begging. As long as I decide otherwise you'll stay here. You love to read, so you can do that. Remember you just told me you would respect me, so please let's not argue again."

"Yes ma'am."

"Good."

I'm looking at her again. She has different faces, sometimes I know exactly what she's thinking and then I think I don't know her at all.

I'm lying in my bed – we only went out for dinner today. I'm thanking God again that nothing serious happened to her. I don't know what I would've done… I have to stop this.

I wonder if she's still mad at me. I know how much she loves her two free hours, but honestly I couldn't give my permission to this. These two hours have cost me years of my life and I don't want to relive them again. And she deserves a little punishment for being so thoughtless.

I'm not sleeping very well – waking up every two hours. I'm walking into her room, just to make sure that she's okay. She's lying in her bed, her cheeks still a little teary – if I would only find out why. But I can't do anything. She looks like an angel. I want to kiss her, but I'm afraid to wake her up.

"I love you." I whisper before I'm leaving the room.

There were so many possibilities how this chapter could have played out. I hope you like the way I've chosen. Please review!