Disclaimer: I do not own G Gundam or any of its characters.
A.N.: Oh my goodness. I am so sorry about the promised update timing. I didn't even realize that that was the date I had put down. I meant for it to be this Thursday, because the day I said I would update by was my move-in day. And since I've been out of town, I didn't have time to set up my computer yet, so I've been without internet for a while. If it hadn't been for my random re-reading of the chapter, I never would have know. But I would like to thank you all for not screaming at me in e-mails and reviews to update. That was very kind of you.
Nice long chappie for you, special for my great reviewers. Thanks so much!! And please heed my warning.
Next chapter will be up by September 9, 2004. This time, it's the right date. Enjoy!
Bits of George's speak were inspired by Laurell K. Hamilton's novels, particularly Obsidian Butterfly. I wish I knew the exact quotes and page numbers, but I don't, and I don't have the books or time to look for them. I'll just put little marks by the ones I sort of paraphrased.
........WARNING: Graphic violent descriptions. The PG-13 rating is here for a reason.
........These Foolish Games: Chapter 20
.......And you won't let go
While I ignore, that we both felt like this
Before it starts to show
So if I had a chance
Would you let me know
.And if the answer is no
Can I change your mind
.We're all the same
And love is blind
The sun is gone
Before it shines
.And I said if the answer is no
Can I change your mind
........BAM!!
The heavy oak door guarding the bedchamber flew open, slamming into the stone wall with a resounding clamor that echoed down the still corridor. Prince Domon determinedly marched into the room, his leather boots swiftly crossing the room to the bed that lay opposite the entrance. He yanked back the velveteen bed curtains to reveal a seamlessly made bed, the pillows arranged fashionably, the sheets tucked neatly under the mattress.
Growling, he turned irately away from the bed and stormed towards the various wardrobes, armoires, and vanity tables, yanking open drawers and cabinets, searching for traces. For evidence that she wasn't really gone. That she hadn't left him behind.
His fingers scrambled over the open vanity drawers, then he threw them closed in frustrated defeat. For a moment, he sat dejectedly on the stool, his bare shoulder rising and falling as his increased breathing slowly returned to normal.
Clattering footsteps rapidly approached the chamber, and Domon didn't need to lift his bowed head to know it was the figures of Prince Chibodee and Sir George that stood in the doorway.
"Why? Why on Earth would she leave like that? It simply doesn't make sense." He turned his face towards the duo for some answer, but their faces were lacking in reply, only surprise showed clearly in their widened eyes.
George seemed to regain some sense of reality, and he shook his head as he, too, crossed the room, his orange hair glittering as it caught the early morning sunlight streaming in from the windows.
"I don't know," was the only response he could offer.
Chibodee ran a hand through his still bedraggled hair. "They're really gone," his voice one of disbelief. "I thought the handmaidens had been mistaken somehow when they came with breakfast this morning."
George nodded in agreement. "Yes, I thought the same. Yet I could feel a sort of dread at the possibility. Perhaps it was that it seemed too farfetched for them to invent. Either way, I felt I had to see for certain."
A temporary silence fell over the occupants of the room, allowing sounds of warm life to be heard outside as the members of the castle began to rise and start the day.
"Are you going after them?"
Domon remained still, arm resting on the vanity table, head bowed once again, utterly unresponsive and showing no surprise at the question he had already been asking himself.
George strode to the glass and pewter doors, opening them up to invite the wind to swirl and dance inside. He placed a hand on the inside of the doorframe as he stood just on the borderline between the room and the balcony outdoors. Looking out, he could see across the lands, out of the borders of the castle, the rest of the kingdom stretching onward until it met the sky at the horizon.
He closed his eyes. "I can see them riding away. The road they chose is wet still with dew droplets from the evening. The coachmen not yet fully awake and rubbing their eyes as they guide the team of horses. The sun barely risen, throwing its red and golden rays out onto their carriage. And inside are two young ladies. Two young ladies who are resolute in their decision to leave in this manner.
"This was something they had planned for some time. Why they chose not to tell us or not to say goodbye, not one of us knows. But they did it for a reason, and I shall respect their wishes."
"Even if it hurts to do so? Even if every part of you screams to run after them?" Domon's voice came out soft and abnormally gentle.
"Yes, even if it hurts." George pulled the glass doors shut, clicking the latch into place, and turning back around to face the room. "Especially if it hurts. If you truly love someone, you will sacrifice anything and everything for their happiness. I still love Lady Rain and harbor no ill feelings toward her. She knows this, there is no doubt in my mind. Yet she chose to cancel our engagement rather abruptly. I would be lying if I said I did not see this departure coming. I was surprised, true, but I anticipated that they would not be spending much longer here in Sauvillia. I simply didn't know that it would be so soon."
George walked back to the door of the room where Chibodee still stood, both men in breeches and boots, their state of undress reflecting the urgency and shock of the early announcement. He made to leave with Chibodee just ahead of him down the hallway, when his hand paused on the door handle.
"I made my intentions clear to Lady Rain. She know that I love her, and made her decision based on it. Can you say the same for Lady Princess Marie-Louise?"
Domon looked up at him, his eyebrows coming together in a confused frown. "What are you trying to imply?"
"Lady Rain knows that I would gladly start a life with her, that she could have me and my love for the rest of her life. For some reason, she chose a life without me. I cannot say why, but I cannot and will not hold that choice against her. I trust her judgment, for she understands our relationship. But Marie-Louise does not. I don't know if it would make any difference if you told her, but wouldn't you rather risk a bit of dignity for something this important?"
"And just what am I supposed to tell her?"
George's lips curved up in the corners, producing a sad sort of smile. "That you love her, of course."
Domon didn't speak, but his eyes widened just a bit, indicating his astonishment.
"You are a brave man in many ways, Prince Domon. You are a great warrior, and passionately speak your mind, which does have a tendency to get you in trouble at times. Yet you are afraid of many things. You fear ruling a kingdom should something happen to your brother, God bless him and protect him from harm. While you have great experience on the battlefield, guiding a kingdom is quite different from guiding a band of soldiers. You fear the weaknesses that exist inside of you. Not just your potential failure, but love as well. You fear this love that you have for Princess Marie-Louise. Don't be afraid of love, Domon. Embrace it. It is the greatest gift one can receive. You fear the things you cannot control, and love is one of those things.
"A life lived in fear is a life half lived (1). You will never truly be alive if you are always hesitating. One day, you may be very old and think back on all the things that you should have said or done and wondered what would have come of it all. Would you have been happier if you had tried harder to obtain that happiness? In the end, you are the only person you will be able to blame for your discontent in life.
"I am not trying to say that love will make everything perfect. Love is a feeling you have for someone, but no matter how deep that love is, it is impossible to feel love for them from dawn to dusk every day of your life. There will be times you argue and disagree, these are inevitable and a quintessential part of human relationships. However, true love is more of a decision. A decision you make based upon your feelings for another person. You decide that while you do not always 'feel' love for them, or even feel frustrated or angry with them, you still care for them more deeply than anything else. This choice, or knowledge, that you will continue to love them in the midst of hardships of all sorts, even when you not feel the passion of early love, is what true love is. It is almost as though there is a string that binds your hearts together as one. Love, in some sort of twisted way, takes away part of your freedom as a sacrifice. You find that you are not longer merely a single person, but half of a couple (2). You no longer act on your own behalf, but act for both yourself and your beloved. You protect yourself and your other half. To act any other way would be to risk losing this love.
"So you have to decide for yourself, Domon. What are you going to fight for and what would you die defending? Will you risk losing your love?"
........The sun was nearly vertical in the sky, and they had not yet reached the boarder of the Sauvillian kingdom to pass into Mersenia. Rain gazed out of the carriage as they bumped along the rough trail, hand fiddling with her quintessential moon pendant around her neck. She and Marie-Louise would have to trade their outfits sometime soon, for it would take a bit longer in a jarring ride such as this.
She glanced over at the young princess napping in the opposite corner, her head leaning against the plush maroon padding of the inside of the coach. While she had shed no tears since they had left, Rain knew how taxing the whole experience must have been for her. She had never had to make a difficult choice like this. As the princess, she was naïve and sheltered from these sorts of impediments in life. Rain was proud that she had dealt with it so well, with the pride an older sister has for the brave and mature behavior of her younger sibling. She couldn't have asked for more from Marie-Louise.
Vaguely, she wondered just where in Sauvillia they were. Looking out her window once more, she saw that there were no houses or signs of life. Just pure, uninterrupted nature, spreading on for miles and miles, as far as the eye can see. It was beautiful and so peaceful outside. It made her feel claustrophobic and want to run out of the cramped carriage, just run until she fell exhausted to the padding of soft green grass.
She was thingking about it so hard that she began to imagine the coach slowing to a halt. Wait. That wasn't just her imagination. She pulled on the window tab, sliding the glass down so she could stick her head out. What she saw ahead of them was so shocking, she drew in a sharp breath, and shook the slumbering Marie-Louise.
"Mmm..." was the only semi-coherent sound she made, followed by a trail of incoherent mumbling under her breath.
Rain tried again, this tie succeeding with more force.
Marie-Louise rubbed her eyes lazily and looked at Rain's more panicked expressin. "What's happening? Why have we stopped?"
"Take a look out the window and see."
"Wha—" Marie-Louise trailed off as she looked out. "Oh my...Rain, what is he doing here?"
Rain shook her head. "I don't know."
"Do you suppose he's come for you? I mean, you're the only reason he would be out here."
The coachmen came to the door, opening it and announcing, "My lady, you have a guest who wishes to speak with you. He rode all this way to catch up with us."
"I see. Very well, help me out, please." Rain held her hand out to the man, and stepped from the carriage to the ground.
Before her, General Ulube dismounted from his black steed, feet landing with a dull thump. He walked from the small band of men behind him, his black cape swirling about him in a mystical way. "My Lady Marie-Louise, you left so suddenly this morning, completely without explaination. I worried that you may have been abducted by a stranger."
"Do not fear, my lord, no such thing has happened to me. I have not been kidnapped."
"Yet."
A strange smile grew across his face, sending shivers up Rain's spine. His eyes seemed to harden, grow cold and dead. He reached out a black gloved hand and held it out in front of him, palm up, eyes connecting with the footmen just behind her. Words she could not make sense of poured from his mouth and his hand suddenly tightened, as though gripping the air in a sharp movement. She heard gasps behind her, and the footmen had fallen to the ground in a helpless pile, grabbing at their throats until they fell to unconciousness.
Horrified, she whirled back around to face Lord Ulube, fear clearly shown on her face as he continued to smile, hand now to his side. She and Marie-Louise were alone now, only Lord Ulube and his company were there.
She glanced up at the faces of his men, and recognized one.
"The King of Shalie..." she whispered.
"That's right, my lady. He, too, is a follower of mine. Ah, perhaps that was poorly worded. Forgive me, my lord. Would co-conspirator be more suitable for you? Or perhaps financial backer, yes, that's about right. How else could I afford my own army and all their weapons? And of course, being a king and supposedly having a truce with Sauvilla, it would bad for relations if his traitorous dealings were known. So his role is not one that requires much action."
The mustached king kept his face blank, refusing eye contact with Rain. The tension in the air was so thick, Rain could scarcely breathe. Her pulse raced inside of her, throbbing in her head and ears with a dull ache, heart beating against her chest like a caged bird. Her fingers tingled with anticipation, and her breath was shallow and fast.
"Enough of that." Ulube motioned with a gloved hand for one of his subordinates. "Bring out the handmaiden from the coach."
The soldier looked confused. "What for, my lord? Why not just leave her here? We only need the princess."
"Additional ransom. This way we will get both Prince Domon and the Rose Knight, Sir George. With both their loved ones held captive, they will be certain to demand a full scale war. With just Princess Marie-Louise, we may get our war, but we could just get a rescue mission. With both, it increases our chances. Besides, I have someone else in mind to deliver the message to them about what happened. They'll know where to find me, with my troops readied for battle."
The soldier dismounted and went to pull Marie-Louise from the carriage. She had been listening to the conversation, and would have run if she had any chance of escaping. But the men were on horseback, and no matter how fast she was on foot, she stood no chance of outrunning them.
She writhed against the man's hold on her upper arm, and looked rebelliously up at General Ishikawa.
He laughed at her expression and sarcastically replied, "My lady, why so upset? Surely you do not disapprove of my desire for revenge simply because I wish to destroy the Sauvillian Kingdom."
She refused to answer him, just continued to remain silent and glare at him, her eyes expressing her hatred for him.
"Very well, let us not delay. I wish for the ladies to be locked in my castle by nightfall, so you must make haste. Take Lady Rain on your horse," he said speaking to the soldier as he mounted his own stallion. "And King Mikamura," he turned in his saddle to face the Shalian King, "would you be so kind as to allow the fair Princess to ride with you? I would love to have her with me, but I have a meeting arrange with another acquaintance of mine, a certain Duchess Allenby."
Rain's head whipped around to face him, shock once again on her face. "You mean..." she trailed off.
Ulube smiled. "Yes, that's right. She wants the position of Queen very badly. She does not yet know about my intentions for the war, so she was rather confused this morning when I told her that I was putting my plan into place. She was really going to be there just to distract Domon from you, so you could focus on me. Unfortunately, it was not enough, so kidnapping you to start a large scale war was the next logical step. I now have a greater purpose for her, she will be the one to lure Domon and his men to my stronghold."
He pulled the reins into his hands. "I will see you this evening, then, Princess." With that, he turned his horse with a flash of ebony mane, and rode off.
One of the other soldiers dismounted and gripped Rain's arm. "My lady, would you please mount now." It was more of a command than a question, so Rain complied. There was no way she could escape the band of trained soldiers on horseback.
She felt his strong hands lift her up until she was securely seated behind the King of Shalie, and she wrapped her arms around his torso so she would not fall off when he urged his horse to an easy walk.
The band had gone on for quiet sometime, the soldiers talking amongst themselves, laughing and telling crude jokes. Every once in a while, Rain would glance back to make sure that Marie-Louise was all right.
King Mikamura had not spoken to her, nor looked at her during the entire ride. He apparently did not want to talk to her about his choices, and perhaps this was out of guilt. But it made no difference to her, and she still had her questions she wanted answered.
"Why?" she breathed softly, asking the question he must have know she was thinking of. "I thought you were friends, you have treaties and negotiations between your countries have gone so well..."
Silence stretched between them like a barrier, and she continued to wait for a response, but none came. She knew that he had heard her, and was beginning to believe he was just going to ignore her for the rest of the trip when he spoke suddenly.
"Have you ever felt love before?"
Rain drew in a slow breath. "Yes," she replied calmly.
"So you know the joys of it. But you also know the pains."
"Yes, I do."
"Have you ever experienced the death of someone you loved?"
"I've felt the pain of separation, of knowing you cannot be together."
He shook his gray head. "That's not the same. Not even close. Even if you are forbidden to see each other, you know they are alive, somewhere on this Earth. You can still physically see them. With death, you have no guarantees. Are they in heaven? Are they in hell? Or perhaps none of these."
"You are not Christian?"
"I do not know what I am. Death has caused me to question my beliefs. Why would God kill my family, have them slaughtered before my eyes, and let King Kasshu's entire family survive?"
Rain gasped, and he heard her intake of breath at his announcement. "Yes. I watched helplessly as my wife was murdered. She ran from the castle when Sauvillian managed to enter the castle gates. Though she was far away, I could she held our child in her arms, her handmaiden beside her with a bundle of clothes. They both hurried toward the river, so they would cross and hide deep in the forest. I thought she was safe, but they both came back out from the forest when more of Sauvillia's forces appeared behind them.
His voice sounded empty, haunted, as though he had nightmares about what had happened for years and years. "I saw what would happen. I ran for her, blade in hand, as fast as I could. But I couldn't make it fast enough. They didn't just kill her, they mutilated her. One soldier rode in fast and caught her in the back with a thrown battle axe. She dropped the baby on the riverbank, but didn't collapse yet. She stood still, slightly hunched over, the axe sticking out of her back in a sickly grotesque manner, blood dripping down in a steady flow.
"The next slashed her stomach open with his sword. But that wasn't enough. He then pulled a dagger out and jammed it up her rib cage. He jerked it right, left, slashing her innocent heart into a bloody mess, shredding her lungs like they were as delicate as gossamer. I watched, horrified, as she collapsed into the river face first. No sooner had I seen her fall dead when a third man took the life of my child. With a morning star, he pounded the child's head, smashing the soft skull of the newborn with a single blow.
"By the time I got there, all the men were gone before I could extract my revenge against them for their brutal murder. They left my wife there, and I turned her over, looking into her empty, lifeless eyes. There was a hole in her chest underneath the gown, an axe in her back. I pulled the axe out. I didn't belong there on her beautiful body. Even more blood oozed from the wound. There was blood all over her chest, spots splattered on her face and crusting in her hair. I sat there in the red water, in the middle of all of her blood, holding her and crying, alone. I just sat and held her, because I couldn't hold my child. All that was left on the ground was a mess of white brains, bits of bone, and blood. Blood was everywhere."
He paused to take in a breath. "Have you ever seen a morning star before?"
Rain fought back the wave after wave of nausea that had hit her as she heard him describe the event with each monstrous detail. Swallowing and taking a deep breath, she managed a breathy "Yes."
"Have you seen a babe before?"
"Yes," she whispered again.
"Then you can imagine what a lethal weapon like that would do to something like a child's skull. A morning star is capable of crushing a full-fledged human's skull. And a baby, a tiny baby whose head is maybe half its size, and so soft at that young age..." he shook his head. "What did my family do to deserve to die like that? My blessed wife, who could do no wrong, sliced up into a scarlet mess, my baby's skull crushed into a wet puddle. Both innocents. Why should they die, and I live? I was the one at fault. They did not deserve to die like that."
A long pause stretched out between them again, and Rain was grateful for the chance to gather her bearings after the tragic and repulsive tale. Just when she thought it was over, though, he started up again.
"They found the handmaiden a little while later, a bit farther down the river with the clothes scattered about her. She had long silver hairs gripped between her fingers and palm. I suppose she had the chance to put up a bit of a fight before they, too, slaughtered her."
"Please," Rain begged, "please, no more."
King Mikamura held still, then nodded. The rest of the trip to General Ulube's fortress was in complete silence. And Rain was grateful. She had enough of answers to her questions for now. She just needed to focus on not passing out for now.
.......TBC
........(1): from the movie Strictly Ballroom
(2): from Laurell K. Hamilton
........