Authors Note: Thanks Riska, Lore2, Liz and javagirl1 for your reviews. It's good to hear your thoughts. However I have to apologize for my mistake – it's lemoncello. I checked two transcripts and found both options – my dictionary wasn't of any help either, so I decided for the wrong option. Sorry! But hey again a mistake got me a review – perhaps I should make them on purpose – just kidding – I hate when such things happen. Thanks for pointing it out.

Chapter 27: Maurice

I'm waking up hearing something ringing – after a few seconds I notice that it's the phone – why isn't Richard answering – oh yes he's not here. Will there ever come the point where I'm not wondering about this? And then it hits me again – everything I did yesterday. I'm reaching for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Emily?"

"Hope? What's wrong?"

I can hear from her voice that something serious must have happened, that she's not just mixing up the time difference.

"It.. it's Maurice – " she says, her voice shaking.

"What happened?"

"He had a heart attack."

"Oh no."

"We were out eating dinner and when we got home he just collapsed."

I'm sitting there paralysed. Images from myself sitting in a hospital going through my mind.

"And how is he – I mean he isn't…?"

"No – he's in surgery right now."

Thank God – there's still hope.

"I had to talk to someone Em – Fleur is on her way but it will take a few hours, and well everyone here is in bed and…"

"That's alright Hope – I'm always there for you – you can call whenever you want."

"Thank you."

"You know, you have to have hope – everything will be fine again – you have to believe that. Freaking out isn't leading to anything."

"I know. I'm already feeling a little better – just hearing your voice."

"That's good. – How long will it probably take?"

"A few hours – you know when he collapsed and I saw him lying there – my heart literally stopped for a second."

"I know." I say – having the picture of Richard lying on the ground at our Christmas Dinner in mind.

"What time is it over there?"

"5 am. But that doesn't matter."

„If I only knew he would be okay."

"You have to believe that he will be."

I'm comforting her a little more, then she decides that it's time to hang up.

"Hope you can call here whenever you want, and if you decide in one minute that you shouldn't have hung up, that's okay – just call again."

"Thank you Em. But I guess I'm better now."

"And call me when he's out of surgery."

"I will. Bye Emily."

"Bye Hope."

I can't sleep anymore. I always have to think of them and of the night where I thought I could lose Richard. I was terrified. It was Richard who calmed me down – he took my hand when I was crying and comforted me. I thought I couldn't survive without him. And now – he's not even beside me – he's in the pool-house.

Perhaps he would forgive me when I'd tell him about yesterday. But I know I can't do that – it wouldn't lead to anything. And what should I say anyway? Richard I had a date yesterday but I figured out that I don't want that so please forgive me? No I can't do that.

Another horrible thought is coming to my mind: What when something like that would happen to Richard? What if he'd have a heart attack right now? I wouldn't even notice. That's a ridiculous thought Emily – stop thinking about it. But what if something serious would happen again? When would I know? Would I ever forgive myself that we wouldn't have reconciled – that I didn't try harder?

I know I would never forgive myself. But I tried, didn't I? I mean I've gone to him so often… but did I really try?

I think I'll tell him about Maurice – maybe it's good when he's having these thoughts, too.

8 am – the phone is ringing again.

„Hope?"

„Yes – he's out of surgery – his condition is critical – but that's normal. The doctor said we have a good reason to hope that everything will turn out alright."

"That's wonderful Hopey." I say truly relieved.

„I'm allowed to go to him in a few minutes."

"Good. – Hope?"

„Yes?"

„Do you want me to come?"

I've thought about this for the last hours as well – she was there for me when I needed her most and if she'd want me to I'd be on the plane this afternoon.

"No Emily – you don't have to come. Fleur did just arrive and I think we'll be fine."

"Good – but when you change your mind – let me know. I'd be there as soon as I could get a flight. And that would be very quick – you know me."

"I know, thank you Emily – I really appreciate that, but I'm fine. Talking to you did help a lot. - Emily?"

"Yes?"

"Are you and Richard still…?"

"Yes."

"I see. - You know these things make you think about the really important things in life. Don't you think you should go to him?"

"I've thought about that myself – to be honest I couldn't think of anything else from the moment you called, but I just don't know how…?"

"You should try."

"I know."

I so don't want to talk about it anymore – but I don't dare to tell her that right now. And I don't dare to tell her about yesterday.

"The nurse just gave me the sign that I'm allowed to go in."

Good timing.

"Call me when you have news."

"I will. Bye."

She has hung up before I can say bye – but I understand, she has to see him as quickly as she can.

After breakfast I decide to go over to the pool-house. It's getting colder outside – Christmas isn't that far away anymore – Christmas, I don't know what we'll do this year.I knock at his door (still with a guilty feeling, but I can't tell him about yesterday – I just can't).

"Emily? What happened?"

Not 'did something happen' but 'what happened' – right now I think he knows me so well.

"Hope called this night. It's Maurice –"

"What about him?"

"He had a heart attack – he's out of surgery by now – they've hope that everything will work out fine."

His face has gone from shocked to relieved.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Me, too."

"How's Hope holding up?"

"Quite well – you know her. I've offered to come over, but she said she'd be fine."

"Yes – that's her. Is there anything I can do?"

"No – I just thought you should know."

"Yes – thank you Emily."

I nod – still hearing Hope's words You should try. But what – what am I supposed to say right now? I wonder if he has the same thoughts I had – I can't read his face. We're just looking at each other – unsure of what to say.

"When there's nothing I can do for you or them right now, then I'd like to go to work – I've some important things to do."

"Of course you have – I didn't mean to keep you from your work." I say turning around.

"Emily I didn't mean it like that – I'm glad you told me it's just…"

"I understand Richard. Goodbye." I say curtly.

With that I'm going back to the main house.

I've just had dinner. I'm sitting in the living-room trying to focus on my novel, when I hear a knock – looking up I see Richard standing on the patio. I'm going over to open the door.

"Richard! What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to ask if you've any news concerning Maurice's condition."

"Yes and no. Come in."

He's looking confused but he's coming inside.

"Well I did talk to Hope an hour ago, but it's mainly the same. His condition is critical, but that's normal given the surgery he had – they still have good reason to hope – and he already said a few things to her – so he recognizes her."

"That's good."

"Yes it is."

Again we're looking at each other. This time he came – that's rare – so I'm waiting for him to say something.

"When you talk to her again, send them my greetings."

"I will."

"Thank you. – And you'll tell me when there are any news on his condition, will you?"

"I will."

He nods.

"Well I should go – goodnight Emily."

"Goodnight Richard."

Another chance and none of us said anything. I sigh – I guess that's the way it is – but is that really an excuse?"

Maurice is getting better every day. Thank God. The thought of Christmas is still in my head. What about my famous Christmas Dinner? And what about Christmas Day? I know I don't want to hold my Christmas Party without Richard being present. I wonder if someone has seen Simon and me? Well perhaps at the restaurant, but I haven't heard any gossip – so maybe, hopefully Richard doesn't know.

Simon called here once, but thankfully I was away. The maid told me that he had to go on a business trip for a few weeks. I'm relieved – at least one problem I don't have to deal with right now. It's not that I don't like him, but I just can't do this anymore.

So Christmas – I think I'll go to Richard asking for his opinion.

I'm knocking at the pool-house.

"Emily – any news about Maurice?"

"He's getting better every day." I say going inside.

"That's good."

„Yes it is."

„Do you want something to drink?"

"Yes coffee please."

He's telling Robert to make me one. (How he's able to keep him for so long is beyond me.)

"Anything else I can do for you?"

"Yes – you know I've thought about Christmas a lot the last days. And I wanted to hear your opinion about it – our Christmas Party – Christmas Day – what do you think about these?"

"Well – your Christmas Party is famous."

"I know." I say smiling. Then I'm drinking a little of the coffee Robert just brought me – it's really not that good. "So you think I shouldn't cancel it?"

"Why would you cancel it?"

Isn't that obvious?

"I only want to host this party when I know that you'll be there." He's looking at me in a weird way. "People would definitely start talking if you weren't – you've never missed it."

"Of course." he says – still staring.

"So would you?"

"What?"

What's wrong with you Richard?

"Attend the party?"

"Of course. The Yale party went well, too."

„Good. Then it's settled – I'll start planning it immediately. – And… Christmas Day?" I ask hesitantly.

"What do you want Emily?"

"I thought that maybe – and since the Yale party went so well – we could tell the girls that they don't have to celebrate two times – that we would celebrate together? I think Rory would like that."

Bringing up Rory – I've already won.

"Yes I believe you're right."

I'm really relieved – somehow I couldn't picture us girls under the Christmas tree without him. Of course it won't be like the last years – but he'll be there – maybe Maurice's condition got him thinking too.

"Alright – then you'll come over for tea and dinner just like the girls – I guess they'll be thrilled to hear that."

"I'm sure they will."

"Good – well thanks for the coffee, but I better start planning now." I say standing up.

"If you need me for anything – though I doubt it…"

"I'll let you know – thanks."

I'm returning to the main house, in my head already sending out invitations and decorating the house. And I have to tell the girls, since Richard will be away next Friday – I guess they'll be surprised.

Maybe with Maurice and Christmas we can solve our problems (that is if he doesn't get any knowledge of me dating – I'm still concerned about that). But perhaps I shouldn't set my hopes so up – I know it won't be a normal Christmas, but he'll be there, and well I can't help it but I've hope. Those carols really can put you in a positive mood – I hope he's listening to them, too.

Do you like it? Please let me know and click on the little thingy.